Oxymorons

[soocool]

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

10. Why are they called " stands" when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

12.. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13.. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17.. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21.. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

25.. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

27. Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway ?

 

[Tuckins1]

Cute

 

[Nashville]

I know a good oxymoron: Jumbo Shrimp

 

[Amethyste]

If a convenience store is open 24/7 - why do they bother to put locks on the doors?

 

[JewelFreak]

If you're irritated when you're disgruntled, are you gruntled when you're pleased?

 

[gemgirl]

I know a good oxymoron: Jumbo Shrimp

That's from an old Carlin bit. Jumbo shrimp was always followed by "military intelligence".

 

[Jennifer W]

If a convenience store is open 24/7 - why do they bother to put locks on the doors?

and when, exactly, do they mop the floors?

 

[soocool]

I know a good oxymoron: Jumbo Shrimp

That's a good one!

 

[soocool]

If a convenience store is open 24/7 - why do they bother to put locks on the doors?

exactly!!

 

[Lady_Disdain]

If a convenience store is open 24/7 - why do they bother to put locks on the doors?

There were a few problems when a landmark convenience store here was foreclosed because of bankruptcy: the doors wouldn't close (they hadn't been moved in 40 years), there were no locks and no lightswitchs (the lights had been wired directly into the fuse box, as there was no need to turn them off).

As for dictionary making, I recommend reading about how the Oxford Dictionary was written. Very interesting tale, with tons of volunteers scouring old books for oldest usage, unusual usages and rare words and a massive organizational effort to keep all the material in a logical order, to be used at the right time. One of the most important volunteers was actually an inmate in a criminally insane asylum, and no one knew this until quite late in the process! But, if you allow the word nerd a moment, the oldest dictionary of the English language is actually from 1604 (202 years before Webster), written by Cawdry (it wasn't very good, though).

 

[soocool]

If a convenience store is open 24/7 - why do they bother to put locks on the doors?

There were a few problems when a landmark convenience store here was foreclosed because of bankruptcy: the doors wouldn't close (they hadn't been moved in 40 years), there were no locks and no lightswitchs (the lights had been wired directly into the fuse box, as there was no need to turn them off).

As for dictionary making, I recommend reading about how the Oxford Dictionary was written. Very interesting tale, with tons of volunteers scouring old books for oldest usage, unusual usages and rare words and a massive organizational effort to keep all the material in a logical order, to be used at the right time. One of the most important volunteers was actually an inmate in a criminally insane asylum, and no one knew this until quite late in the process! But, if you allow the word nerd a moment, the oldest dictionary of the English language is actually from 1604 (202 years before Webster), written by Cawdry (it wasn't very good, though).

LD, thanks for the info. I am always fascinated by this type of information. And sometimes it is a good conversation starter believe it or not!