Overwhelmed

[Mandee2018]

Hi there,

I lost my engagement ring a few weeks ago. my husband proposed in 2008 and it was a beautiful ring which luckily was insured.

it was an emerald cut. 2.5 carat center stone with a halo with 100 plus diamonds in the setting.

I’m searching for a ring and I don’t know where to start. Do I buy a loose diamond and then the setting? Have my tastes changed? Do I stick with similar style for sentimentality? Where do I look?

this all seems very overwhelming and a bit depressing. Any advice would be appreciated.

thanks!

 

[anangel]

Take a deep breath! Do you have time to make a decision, or are you under pressure from an insurance company to decide ASAP?
If you have time, poke around on the board- see what styles you find yourself most attracted to, do some research for you get the best value for your dollar, and if at all possible, try on some of the styles you like before committing.
it’s been long enough that your preferences may have changed, or you might just want something that feels like a new ring, not just a replacement.

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

Firstly, I’m so sorry you’ve lost your ring! Don’t feel like you need to make a decision ASAP on the replacement, first of all, unless insurance demands it. If you can take a cash payout instead of a replacement ring, I think it would be better (then you’re not tied to any vendors etc). I think the first step is to narrow down what style/type of ring you want, and shape/type of center stone as well. Where to source the stone / setting is a second step.

Step zero is the budget, actually - are you planning to buy your ring for the insurance payout or add in a bit more? I think once you have your budget in mind it might help narrow down what you’re looking for. For example, and not knowing anything about your policy, my guess would be that getting the exact ring made today would be more expensive than in 2008 because of diamond/gold prices. I don’t know if your policy adjusts for this (I think you need to get it reappraised and pay higher premiums along the way). So if, lets say, you don’t want to spend a penny more than the insurance payout, but you still want the big center, you might decide to get a simple solitaire band in order to concentrate all your budget into the stone.

Your original engagement ring sounds gorgeous, but if you did want to change it up, I’m sure your husband wouldn’t hold it against you - and if he would, now’s the time to ask him! Here are some questions to ask yourself to figure out what you might want:

- do you still want to go for a step cut, or would you like to change over to a brilliant cut?

- what were your favorite things about your ering, and what are some things you’d like to change? Has your personal aesthetic changed significantly since your engagement, to the point that your original ering did not fit your new aesthetic? Are you for example a vintage gal who might prefer an OEC this time round, or are you into something modern/clean lines like an emerald cut with baguette accent stones, or perhaps super classic with a twist - so a modern round with a two tone halo?

- do you like elongated shapes - like the emerald, or maybe oval/pear, or do you prefer something more square/round on the hand, like a round or a cushion?

- you mentioned your setting had 100 diamonds in it, meaning a pave setting most probably. What are things you liked/didn’t like about that? For example, wearing a wedding band can be a bit difficult with 3-sided pave: is that something you liked/disliked/didn’t really notice?

- would you still like a solitaire (with/without halo pave etc) or maybe accent stones (like traps or baguettes) or a 3 stone?

- any strong preferences on metal color on yourself?

- how important is the sentimentality to you personally? Are you happy with a nod to your old ring (eg incorporating pave in some way, not necessarily the same way), or to the center stone (so you want an emerald cut only) or to the setting (so a super similar setting with a diff center)? Or do you want everything identical? Or do you want something radically different?

- do you want your husband’s input in the designing process (if you do, I’d ask him now - most men are more helpful in the idea generation process than nitpicking design details or sourcing stones/shortlisting vendors)?

This comment is super long so I’ll stop here. Hope this helps you structure your thought process a bit instead of getting overwhelmed!

 

[Mandee2018]

Firstly, I’m so sorry you’ve lost your ring! Don’t feel like you need to make a decision ASAP on the replacement, first of all, unless insurance demands it. If you can take a cash payout instead of a replacement ring, I think it would be better (then you’re not tied to any vendors etc). I think the first step is to narrow down what style/type of ring you want, and shape/type of center stone as well. Where to source the stone / setting is a second step.

Step zero is the budget, actually - are you planning to buy your ring for the insurance payout or add in a bit more? I think once you have your budget in mind it might help narrow down what you’re looking for. For example, and not knowing anything about your policy, my guess would be that getting the exact ring made today would be more expensive than in 2008 because of diamond/gold prices. I don’t know if your policy adjusts for this (I think you need to get it reappraised and pay higher premiums along the way). So if, lets say, you don’t want to spend a penny more than the insurance payout, but you still want the big center, you might decide to get a simple solitaire band in order to concentrate all your budget into the stone.

Your original engagement ring sounds gorgeous, but if you did want to change it up, I’m sure your husband wouldn’t hold it against you - and if he would, now’s the time to ask him! Here are some questions to ask yourself to figure out what you might want:

- do you still want to go for a step cut, or would you like to change over to a brilliant cut?

- what were your favorite things about your ering, and what are some things you’d like to change? Has your personal aesthetic changed significantly since your engagement, to the point that your original ering did not fit your new aesthetic? Are you for example a vintage gal who might prefer an OEC this time round, or are you into something modern/clean lines like an emerald cut with baguette accent stones, or perhaps super classic with a twist - so a modern round with a two tone halo?

- do you like elongated shapes - like the emerald, or maybe oval/pear, or do you prefer something more square/round on the hand, like a round or a cushion?

- you mentioned your setting had 100 diamonds in it, meaning a pave setting most probably. What are things you liked/didn’t like about that? For example, wearing a wedding band can be a bit difficult with 3-sided pave: is that something you liked/disliked/didn’t really notice?

- would you still like a solitaire (with/without halo pave etc) or maybe accent stones (like traps or baguettes) or a 3 stone?

- any strong preferences on metal color on yourself?

- how important is the sentimentality to you personally? Are you happy with a nod to your old ring (eg incorporating pave in some way, not necessarily the same way), or to the center stone (so you want an emerald cut only) or to the setting (so a super similar setting with a diff center)? Or do you want everything identical? Or do you want something radically different?

- do you want your husband’s input in the designing process (if you do, I’d ask him now - most men are more helpful in the idea generation process than nitpicking design details or sourcing stones/shortlisting vendors)?

This comment is super long so I’ll stop here. Hope this helps you structure your thought process a bit instead of getting overwhelmed!

Wow! This is so helpful. Thank you so much for your thoughtful response! Going to think through all of these questions.

 

[seaurchin]

So sorry you lost your ring.

I agree with the others that you can definitely take your time deciding what your preference is now, 12 years later. You probably don't know because you didn't realize you'd be faced with needing to pick out a new one. You could always get a CZ ring for a couple hundred dollars to wear in the meantime. Good luck.