Find your diamond
Find your jewelry
shape
carat
color
clarity

Opinions On Restaurant Experience

junebug17

junebug17

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 17, 2009
Messages
14,323
I just had a heck of a time coming up with a subject line for this...

Anyway, I was just interested in getting people''s opinions about a comment a waitress made to me recently. My husband and I went out for a quick bite at a casual restaurant - an American grill type of place. I ordered a chimichanga, and when the waitress came to take my plate away at the end of the meal she gasped a little and said with surprise (and a little bit of shock I thought) "You ate that whole thing?" Now, granted, it was a somewhat large portion, and there have been other times when I haven''t finished it, but I was really hungry! She made me feel like a glutton. My husband thought I was being too sensitive! His take on it was that the waitress was surprised I ate the whole thing because I''m petite - hmm, I''m not really sure I''d call myself petite these days!

What do you think? Do you think the waitress was out of line? Or am I being too sensitive?
 
This may rub people the wrong way when I say this...and I have not read any posts yet so maybe someone has said this:

IF you were a person of larger size that comment would have been 100% inappropriate and I would tell you that she was completely in the wrong.


HOWEVER, since you are petite (I am too!) I definitely agree with your husband. I have gotten this comment before when I have finished crazy huge meals, and actually---people comment often about it. I think it's funny and I just laugh and tell them they have no idea how much I'm able to eat :)


I think overall you are being a bit sensitive about this. I doubt she would have said this kind of comment to someone who is large (in which case, I doubt your husband is lying to you when he says that you're petite)
 
I think that was an inappropriate comment no matter what 'size' a customer is!


That said, it sounds like a case of foot-in-mouth rather than of malicious intent, and it's definitely not worth the energy to be actively offended
2.gif
 
yep, that would be considered a full-on insult to me. you''re totally in the right mind to think so.

once in high school, a waitress said the same thing to me while i was out with my boyfriend. i was probably 120 lbs at the time and took it the wrong (or right!) way. how rude!
29.gif


hope you didn''t leave a big tip!
 
That happened to me recently when the restaurant manager we were chatting with said "I don''t ever think I''ve seen someone eat the whole thing!" The "thing" being a salad. A salad that wasn''t (1) very big or (2) very unhealthy.

I considered being offended, but ultimately chose otherwise. To be honest, I was more surprised at her surprise.
 
LOL. When I think of a waitress saying this, I think of her saying it to a child - like "WOW! You ate all of your dinner!"

Meh, I wouldn''t take it personally. I would have said something snarky like "yeah, I just ran a marathon today! what have you done?" or "yep! eating for three these days!" LOL.
 
I think the comment was a bit out of place, and could definitely make people feel ''funny''. I wouldn''t take it personally though. She probably just said if off the top of her head, without thinking about it.
 
I think your waitress is not long for her career, if she doesn''t get over the bad habit of letting whatever pops into her head out via her mouth. That said, I wouldn''t take it personally: it doesn''t sound critical, just tactless, if you see what I mean.
 
Date: 6/28/2010 10:01:07 AM
Author: Circe
I think your waitress is not long for her career, if she doesn''t get over the bad habit of letting whatever pops into her head out via her mouth. That said, I wouldn''t take it personally: it doesn''t sound critical, just tactless, if you see what I mean.
Click to expand...
+1.
 
That type of comment, no matter who makes it, always rubs me the wrong way. I probably would have been a little offended too.
 
I would have replied with "yep! and I''d like another one please!" But I''m 1. a glutton in general and 2. eating for one and a half. Actually the last time I went out to dinner was at a Mexican restaurant and the waitress gave me a hard time because she thought I didn''t eat enough. Apparently 1 basket of chips, a dish of salsa, app size side of guac, 2 cheese enchiladas, rice and beans wasn''t enough for dinner!
 
Date: 6/27/2010 11:06:51 PM
Author: yssie
I think that was an inappropriate comment no matter what ''size'' a customer is!



That said, it sounds like a case of foot-in-mouth rather than of malicious intent, and it''s definitely not worth the energy to be actively offended
2.gif
Click to expand...

I agree with Yssie. Definitely an inappropriate comment to make. But it does sound like she was just not thinking before she spoke. We all know people like that but of course in the service industry it would be nice if people could be more thoughtful.

I hope you showed your displeasure with the tip. If I am very pleased with the service we will give up to 25% tip, if service is average 15% and if I am unhappy I will give less. For this case I would not have given a big tip but perhaps an average one. But as that is a bit passive aggressive I would have preferred to speak to the waitress in person after I had a chance to process her thoughtless comments.

I would have just nicely explained why it was an inappropriate comment to make. Just as a service to this young lady as she definitely needs to learn what is the right way and not right way to interact with customers and people in general.

In any case I would not waste too much energy on this but I do understand how you feel and I would have felt much the same way!

Best,
Melissa
 
It sounds like the waitress was probably just making conversation. I''ve had waiters say that to me before, always with a joking tone to their voice. I don''t think she meant anything negative by it - she was probably impressed that you could eat it all
2.gif
 
I would not have been offended at all. I have always been an eater. I eat alot and enjoy every minute of it. If you are petite and ate it all it was probably just an odd way to give a compliment. Like, "Wow you are able to eat all of that and stay so thin."
 
Although it definitely could be offensive to many, I don''t think she meant any harm. I doubt she would have said anything to someone she thought was sensitive about their weight. My guess is she was amazed at the amount a petite person like yourself could eat and said it without thinking. I''m sorry that you were offended when you had dinner with your hubby though.
7.gif
 
I don''t think she meant any harm really. Maybe she just isn''t that good with people. Her tips will reflect whether this is a problem or not I guess.
 
Date: 6/28/2010 11:05:46 AM
Author: radiantquest
I would not have been offended at all. I have always been an eater. I eat alot and enjoy every minute of it. If you are petite and ate it all it was probably just an odd way to give a compliment. Like, ''Wow you are able to eat all of that and stay so thin.''
Click to expand...
Yup - that''s what I think she probably meant as well. In the end, what''s really to get offended about - some waitress that you don''t know and probably won''t ever see again thinks you ate a big dinner...so what?
 
Waiters and waitresses are just human. They haven't been trained in political correctness. It was an honest observation. They shouldn't comment at all on their customers' food choices or habits but heck, they are human.

When I worked as a waitress there was always the dilemma--does the fattest person at the table get the biggest portion? Or the smallest? We served prime rib and some slices just got cut thicker than others. I never knew if it would be offensive or appreciated to give the humongous slice to what looked like the biggest eater! I wonder if I offended anyone with my decisions.
 
Date: 6/28/2010 1:45:39 PM
Author: swingirl
Waiters and waitresses are just human. They haven''t been trained in political correctness. It was an honest observation. They shouldn''t comment at all on their customers'' food choices or habits but heck, they are human.

When I worked as a waitress there was always the dilemma--does the fattest person at the table get the biggest portion? Or the smallest? We served prime rib and some slices just got cut thicker than others. I never knew if it would be offensive or appreciated to give the humongous slice to what looked like the biggest eater! I wonder if I offended anyone with my decisions.
Click to expand...
Thats odd that not all portions are the same. I would think if I paid $15 for something and so did someone else that we both got the same amount to eat. I know that it came from an animal and that not everything is perfect. I dunno. If it were me I would be upset that (if) the larger person got more to eat simply because we paid the same price.
 
Date: 6/28/2010 10:09:36 AM
Author: Zoe
That type of comment, no matter who makes it, always rubs me the wrong way. I probably would have been a little offended too.
Click to expand...
I agree. My husband is very slim, so sometimes people will make similar comments ("Are you really going to eat ALL of that?", etc). His weight isn''t something he''s sensitive about, but I still don''t like to hear comments about it, I think it''s very rude and uncalled for.
 
Yep Waitress was out of line.
Her concern is getting the food to you in a timely manner. Not how much of it do or do not consume regardless of your size.
 
Thanks to everyone who commented-it was very interesting to get other perspectives.

I agree that the waitress probably wasn''t trying to be insulting, I guess she just caught me off-guard. And I was just curious as to how others would have felt about it.

HH, that would have been a good reply! I wish I had a quick wit. I just said something dumb like "yeah, I was really hungry".
 
I would just take it as a compliment that you can eat and aren''t afraid of eating!

I am petite but I eat like a big - I eat more than my fiance .. in fact, I eat his left overs too. People are always shocked at how much goes in.
 

It''s funny about thinking about portion size, have my own story. This is probably a politically incorrect thing to say, but I''m from the north and now live in the south, and it seems the norms for body size is larger down here. Maybe I''m on the slimmer side but I wouldn''t consider myself skinny skinny.


Two different times in cafeteria type settings, I''ve had the server give me an extra portion of whatever I was ordering. One time it was done without comment other than here you go (but it was obviously a double portion), but the other time there was some comment along the lines of "you could use a little more". I didn''t say anything because I think both times they thought they were being nice or doing me a favor, trying to put meat on my bones or something. And heck I was a student so sure I ate the extra food
31.gif
.


 
Oh in the same setting I could overhear the servers joking and commenting with employees waiting in line, like someone ordering onion rings, "Oh you don''t need those!" and teasing them. But that''s obviously a more informal and familiar interaction than a waitress/restaurant situation. I actually thought the whole thing was interesting from a cultural perspective.
 
The server could use some lessons on how to filter what shes thinking(and it would get her better tips)but i doubt it was a direct insult. Some people say what they are thinking and expect the receiver to understand the reasoning behind it without further explanation.I wouldn''t let it bother me.
 
Not insulting at all.

She''s essentially saying your a petite woman.

I think it''s a good thing.
 
I find the comment tacky but harmless. I''ve had waiters say to me, "Wow, you must have been hungry!" and find that equally annoying. It''s not their job to comment on the person''s meal or appetite. I also don''t like when waiters ask, "Are you still picking at that, or are you done?" when they''re trying to clear my plate.
 
The New York Times has a list of 100 mistakes made by food servers and this is one of them, with its corollary:

You didn''t like it? (Said when you did not eat much of the meal.)

I hate this. I don''t have to justify what I do/do not eat to a waiter or waitress. They are not my mommy or daddy. I am a paying client and am entitled to respect, not infantilizing.

I also don''t care what dessert they like the best, LOL. I also don''t want to hear about their personal problems, dissatsifactions with the manager, etc.

By the same token, I don''t ask THEM rude questions. I don''t play games with them about the food---too hot, too cold, too this, too that as I have seen other women do. I also tip between 20% and 25% for good service.
 
The "you didn't like it?" is maybe a poor way of stating it, but I hope if I leave my plate pretty much untouched, I'd like the waitperson to inquire about my meal, because maybe there was something wrong with it and that gives them an oppornity to fix the mistake. Recently went to a restaurant and my meal was so bad, I couldn't eat it. I pushed it to the center of the table and when the waitperson came by ordered another meal. The wait person never asked single question about the meal (didn't even take the plate away so it sat there the whole time), and charged us for both meals. I guess I should have spoken up, but the whole thing was taking SO LONG, the service was so bad, we just wanted to get out of there. Same meal we asked if we could make a substitution (fruit for bacon) and she promised there would be no additional charge for the substitution. On the plate the substitution was made, but we didn't catch it until after the bill was paid that we were charged $3-4 for a "fruit plate". Honestly terrible service.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
GET 3 FREE HCA RESULTS JOIN THE FORUM. ASK FOR HELP
Jewelry Blog
PriceScope-Concierge-Ad
Find prime cuts.
Top