Not comfortable wearing jewelry to work?

[cushionladyESQ]

Hey everyone! Not sure if this is the proper forum, but I have been wondering lately....

I should say that it's not an office policy or anything, but I work for a job where it's not appropriate in my opinion to wear my engagement ring (I work with very low-income clients and feel like it would be offensive to them to see such a larger ring when they can't even pay rent, etc.). I am also much younger than all the other women in my office, and feel it would be uncomfortable for me to wear my ring when it is noticeable larger than all the other rings in the office. I would expect a lot of "is that real?"

I have been kinda sad about not wearing my ring, and no one really knows I'm engaged at work because I don't wear a ring. I don't hide the engagement at all, but it never comes up because there are no outward signs.

I am wondering if there is anyone else out there who can't wear their rings/doesn't feel comfortable wearing their rings? I would appreciate some others thoughts on this. Am I behaving rationally?

 

[manderz]

I can understand where you are coming from. I'm kind of getting the impression that you are a social worker? (I'm in college after a long hiatus, and am a social work major, and we actually just discussed how to dress for work) I would say that you should do what makes you happy, whether or not you wear your ring. I would not worry one bit about what your co workers have to say about it. But, I would be a little concerned about alienating a client. I guess it depends on how much client contact you have. Maybe you could spin your ring around so they would only see the shank? Or, you could get a nice diamond band to wear in place of your ering, just at work.

 

[PinkTower]

I do not wear my diamond to work. I wear a colored stone. Perhaps you should look over in the colored stone forum for some ideas, so you could have something to wear to work. Colored stones make me smile at work!

 

[cushionladyESQ]

I can understand where you are coming from. I'm kind of getting the impression that you are a social worker? (I'm in college after a long hiatus, and am a social work major, and we actually just discussed how to dress for work) I would say that you should do what makes you happy, whether or not you wear your ring. I would not worry one bit about what your co workers have to say about it. But, I would be a little concerned about alienating a client. I guess it depends on how much client contact you have. Maybe you could spin your ring around so they would only see the shank? Or, you could get a nice diamond band to wear in place of your ering, just at work.

I'm actually an attorney, but working for a non-profit. I kind of act like half attorney/half social worker--it depends on the client.

What kind of conclusions did you guys reach about dressing for work? I'm curious. I try to dress professionally, but I do see how that would be an important conversation to have because the way you dress can have a big impact on the way you're perceived by clients.

I do have a lot of client contact...and I'm definitely much more concerned about the clients v. coworkers. But you know how coworker perception can be important as well?

I am going to have to think about alternatives to wear during work hours...you're right. Thanks!

 

[cushionladyESQ]

I do not wear my diamond to work. I wear a colored stone. Perhaps you should look over in the colored stone forum for some ideas, so you could have something to wear to work. Colored stones make me smile at work!

Ahhh if only I had the funds to make an extra ring happen!

I have a couple right hand rings, but they don't fit my left hand, so I would have to make a ring specifically for wear when not wearing my ering. But I guess that could be a good investment...

What kind of colored stone do you wear?

 

[texaskj]

I used to work with a woman whose husband had a very good job in town, high profile, salary to match and she only wore a plain gold band to work every day. I got to see her engagement ring at a party. It was a classic pear with side baguettes probably in the five to six carat range. She was a very petite woman and you could see this thing for a mile. It was a beautiful ring, no doubt, but she didn't feel comfortable wearing it to work and I can't say I blame her. You have to do what's right for you; what you feel comfortable with.

 

[FrekeChild]

I work with homeless people. Needless to say I think about my jewelry a lot. I usually wear my wedding band, maybe an eternity band and one other item of cheaper jewelry (read: silver, maybe a solitaire necklace, no multi-stone pieces). We are to dress casually, lots of jeans, casual dresses, t-shirts, etc, so jewelry might look out of place there to begin with.

When I do wear an ering (I have several colored stone erings...) I tend to wear the most plain--a dark blue spinel in a 4 prong solitaire. Kind of boring! But far from the more ostentatious look of my Bev K halo...

 

[SB621]

If you want an everyday colored stone ering you will need to get something that is hard such as sapphire or spinel. Both of those are hard enough for every day wear. If you are interested in a color stone ering the people in teh colored stone forum can really help you out. just let them know your budget and preferences. They make magic happen!

 

[Lady_Disdain]

If you want an everyday colored stone ering you will need to get something that is hard such as sapphire or spinel. Both of those are hard enough for every day wear. If you are interested in a color stone ering the people in teh colored stone forum can really help you out. just let them know your budget and preferences. They make magic happen!

And it doesn't have to be very expensive either

 

[Imdanny]

Well, now I'm kind of curious. Could you give us the stats on your diamond and tell us more about your job?

Not our business and no pressure if you don't want to but I'm having a hard time imagining the situation.

I've met a lot of social workers. Their jewelry never offended me.

 

[cushionladyESQ]

My ring isn't huge, particularly by ps standards.

2.02 I vs1 cushion.

But the other rings in the office look to be between .3 to 1 carat rounds. Also I should say that I'm not necessarily worried about offending anyone other than clients. I work mainly with the elderly and the disabled. Many clients are also having other troubles including financial problems (evictions, foreclosures, bankruptcy). Now I know these things happen to anyone and I'm not trying to be overly concerned about something that doesn't matter. It's just that I want clients to understand that I'm on their sides, so I'm worried a nice ring might make clients feel like I'm out of touch. Kwim?

 

[ringthings]

My ring isn't huge, particularly by ps standards.

2.02 I vs1 cushion.

But the other rings in the office look to be between .3 to 1 carat rounds. Also I should say that I'm not necessarily worried about offending anyone other than clients. I work mainly with the elderly and the disabled. Many clients are also having other troubles including financial problems (evictions, foreclosures, bankruptcy). Now I know these things happen to anyone and I'm not trying to be overly concerned about something that doesn't matter. It's just that I want clients to understand that I'm on their sides, so I'm worried a nice ring might make clients feel like I'm out of touch. Kwim?

For pete's sake.. wear and enjoy your ring. What's the point in having it if you can't use and enjoy it?

You know, most people don't notice jewelry. Until I found this site, I never even noticed if someone had a microscopic engagement ring or a 5 carat ring. Seriously. Most people don't notice this stuff. If they don't, they'll either assume 1) it's fake (so?) 2) it's an heirloom 3) you overpaid (so?) 4) you like jewelry and got this instead of something else. Chances are, most people won't even notice in the first place, and those that do.. if they're in this situation.. would assume that a larger ring is fake. Nothing wrong with that. And, some of them might have jewelry of their own (heirlooms, etc.). Others have NO IDEA what a piece of jewelry is, or even a vague idea of how much it costs. I doubt anyone would notice your jewelry as much as you, the wearer. Even if they do notice,... so? One ring won't make you seem out of touch with a low-income client: people's attitude, or excess (I wouldn't show up wearing Prada, with a Gucci bag, and 5 carats of diamonds.. with Blahnik shoes.), etc. One ring doesn't make you seem out of touch. If you look at it as they're unemployed (if they are), and you're not.. or, you have.. blah blah.. you could find a magnitude of reasons to be able to not relate to someone,... but since you're helpful and caring towards them, you DO relate.

With that said, I do think there's some need for wearing things based on a situation. Such as, no one dresses up in an evening gown with half a dozen carats in jewelry to go to the gas station, or to a fast food restaurant in a rough neighborhood. But, an engagement ring isn't gaudy.. it's a ring.... that many people won't even notice. If people mention it all the time, you can stop wearing it... until then, use the thing. No sense in it collecting dust. Necklaces and other jewelry looks weird with jeans/casual stuff, but people expect someone to generally wear their engagement/wedding rings and think nothing of it.

 

[junebug17]

I'm with ringsthings on this one. I think you should wear your ering...An engagement is such a special time, and you have the right to show you are engaged as much as anyone else. It's not just a regular piece of jewelry...it's a symbol of a very special and important commitment! It just seems wrong that you have to go through the majority of your day (entire week actually) without wearing and enjoying your ering. Again, as ringsthings said, I don't even think most people would notice, especially if you dress conservatively and simply and keep the rest of your jewelry understated. You could turn the stone down if there was a time during the day when you were meeting with a client and just felt too self-conscious...but I don't think you should deny yourself the pleasure of wearing and looking at your ring! And as far as co-workers...them I wouldn't be concerned with at all! You have that size stone because you love it, wear it and be proud!

 

[manderz]

What kind of conclusions did you guys reach about dressing for work? I'm curious. I try to dress professionally, but I do see how that would be an important conversation to have because the way you dress can have a big impact on the way you're perceived by clients.

Well, that's just it, we didn't really come to a conclusion. We discussed more to be mindful of what sort of profession you'll be going into, and to dress way too formally to go to a meeting with someone who is homeless may make them feel bad about themselves, and to dress to casually may make them not take you seriously. My class is just an intro class, I'm returning to college after working for several years right after high school. We just discussed engaging a client, and how important it is, and how many aspects can affect your client's opinions. I have a friend who works for a local community action group, and she works mainly with the homeless, and she routinely dresses very casually, jeans and tees, sneakers. She's not a jewelry type though, so I'm sure that I've thought more about it than she has in her several years in the field.

 

[Circe]

I think you're making the right choice to eschew the ring at work, given circumstances, 'cause people *do* notice. I'm a professor, working with mostly 1st-gen and returning student populations. If I wear my ring to teach, invariably, some of my students will come up at the end of class and say that they couldn't take their eyes off it, how many carats is it, etc. Which is nice, but ... well, I sort of want thinking about the lecture, y'know? So now I generally just wear stacked bands. Additionally, I think you're in a slightly more problematic situation in terms of a social hierarchy - while I know the general socioeconomic background of the university, I don't have details for any one student. Throwing the disparity between you and clients into sharp relief could be touchy.

On the other side of the coin, my doctor has a lovely 3-4 carat princess: in her case, I find it vaguely reassuring, a la "She must be very good to afford that!" So that's another possible response to take into consideration ....

 

[cushionladyESQ]

I think you're making the right choice to eschew the ring at work, given circumstances, 'cause people *do* notice. I'm a professor, working with mostly 1st-gen and returning student populations. If I wear my ring to teach, invariably, some of my students will come up at the end of class and say that they couldn't take their eyes off it, how many carats is it, etc. Which is nice, but ... well, I sort of want thinking about the lecture, y'know? So now I generally just wear stacked bands. Additionally, I think you're in a slightly more problematic situation in terms of a social hierarchy - while I know the general socioeconomic background of the university, I don't have details for any one student. Throwing the disparity between you and clients into sharp relief could be touchy.

On the other side of the coin, my doctor has a lovely 3-4 carat princess: in her case, I find it vaguely reassuring, a la "She must be very good to afford that!" So that's another possible response to take into consideration ....

I am leaning a little towards you, Circe. Mainly because lots of random people have commented on my ring at weird times. I feel like people do kinda notice and even if most people don't notice, I wouldn't want to make even one client feel badly about something that I could control.

I appreciate everyone's thoughts on this issue...because I do take it seriously. I think I am going to look into getting a ring made just for work time as a compromise.

 

[reader]

I know I am late to the party here, but I used to deliver mail in very low income neighborhoods. A couple people mentioned my ring to which I answered "QVC!" It got a nod and 'Wow, looks almost real!" and was ignored after that.

 

[Imdanny]

My ring isn't huge, particularly by ps standards.

2.02 I vs1 cushion.

But the other rings in the office look to be between .3 to 1 carat rounds. Also I should say that I'm not necessarily worried about offending anyone other than clients. I work mainly with the elderly and the disabled. Many clients are also having other troubles including financial problems (evictions, foreclosures, bankruptcy). Now I know these things happen to anyone and I'm not trying to be overly concerned about something that doesn't matter. It's just that I want clients to understand that I'm on their sides, so I'm worried a nice ring might make clients feel like I'm out of touch. Kwim?

cushionladyESQ, I'll give you my frank opinion and please take it for what you will. I have been the client in such situations in certain unfortunate times of my life.

I have only ever resented someone like you wearing very nice clothes (and I never noticed anyone's diamond) when that person was no good at their job, indeed, completely useless, and in certain cases unconscionably dishonest and corrupt.

If you (general you) did your job effectively and had a pleasant outlook (rather than 'I make recommendations; I file my paperwork; and I move on attitude, and if you showed true empathy and initiative, you could have been wearing Elizabeth Taylor's jewelry for all I cared).

I don't usually discuss those times in my life so I hope you appreciate my candor and realize that nothing I have said is a judgment about you.

My best wishes in making a decision you feel is right for your clients and for yourself. I'm inclined to think adornment is superficial at the end of the day. It's how one does their job and whether one truly cares about people that matters no matter what our job is in life.

 

[Imdanny]

I think you're making the right choice to eschew the ring at work, given circumstances, 'cause people *do* notice. I'm a professor, working with mostly 1st-gen and returning student populations. If I wear my ring to teach, invariably, some of my students will come up at the end of class and say that they couldn't take their eyes off it, how many carats is it, etc. Which is nice, but ... well, I sort of want thinking about the lecture, y'know? So now I generally just wear stacked bands. Additionally, I think you're in a slightly more problematic situation in terms of a social hierarchy - while I know the general socioeconomic background of the university, I don't have details for any one student. Throwing the disparity between you and clients into sharp relief could be touchy.

On the other side of the coin, my doctor has a lovely 3-4 carat princess: in her case, I find it vaguely reassuring, a la "She must be very good to afford that!" So that's another possible response to take into consideration ....

Circe, I have this memory from my 5th grade English class. The teacher must have been reading a book (or talking off the top of her head?) and she said, "Are those diamonds fake?!"

And then she flashed her diamonds (a three stone ring) in front of us, and said, "No, they're real!"

They were pretty big diamonds (the center might have been 2 or 2 1/2) and my 5th grades self, knowing nothing about diamonds could see the huge inclusions in them!

She thought she was showing off. Instead, she created a lifetime memory for me of her big, ugly, diamonds, with huge inclusions.

She also had lipstick in a case shaped like a ....., I'm not making this up. What a disaster!

Quality of quantity, I always say, and nix the theme lipstick, 5th grade teachers. Wow.

 

[swingirl]

If you are uncomfortable wearing your ring or expensive jewelry to work then leave them at home. Your clients don't care whether you are engaged or not and a bare finger doesn't mean anything these days. If you feel naked without your ering then wear it. But before I came on to PS I never noticed anything more than ring or no ring.

That being said, a 2 ct cushion IS larger than most PS erings. And I believe it is larger than the average ering in most parts of the county.

 

[cushionladyESQ]

My ring isn't huge, particularly by ps standards.

2.02 I vs1 cushion.

But the other rings in the office look to be between .3 to 1 carat rounds. Also I should say that I'm not necessarily worried about offending anyone other than clients. I work mainly with the elderly and the disabled. Many clients are also having other troubles including financial problems (evictions, foreclosures, bankruptcy). Now I know these things happen to anyone and I'm not trying to be overly concerned about something that doesn't matter. It's just that I want clients to understand that I'm on their sides, so I'm worried a nice ring might make clients feel like I'm out of touch. Kwim?

cushionladyESQ, I'll give you my frank opinion and please take it for what you will. I have been the client in such situations in certain unfortunate times of my life.

I have only ever resented someone like you wearing very nice clothes (and I never noticed anyone's diamond) when that person was no good at their job, indeed, completely useless, and in certain cases unconscionably dishonest and corrupt.

If you (general you) did your job effectively and had a pleasant outlook (rather than 'I make recommendations; I file my paperwork; and I move on attitude, and if you showed true empathy and initiative, you could have been wearing Elizabeth Taylor's jewelry for all I cared).

I don't usually discuss those times in my life so I hope you appreciate my candor and realize that nothing I have said is a judgment about you.

My best wishes in making a decision you feel is right for your clients and for yourself. I'm inclined to think adornment is superficial at the end of the day. It's how one does their job and whether one truly cares about people that matters no matter what our job is in life.

I do appreciate your candor. Thank you for your honesty. I think the comments here have been very enlightening and I always appreciate new perspectives, since I live with my own perspectives most of the time. I believe you're correct--good work and a caring spirit will matter more than jewelry. I do care very much about my job, which was the main reason why I posted the original topic.

Thank you for taking the time to give me your thoughts.

ETA: I certainly took no offense from your comments.

 

[cushionladyESQ]

If you are uncomfortable wearing your ring or expensive jewelry to work then leave them at home. Your clients don't care whether you are engaged or not and a bare finger doesn't mean anything these days. If you feel naked without your ering then wear it. But before I came on to PS I never noticed anything more than ring or no ring.

That being said, a 2 ct cushion IS larger than most PS erings. And I believe it is larger than the average ering in most parts of the county.

Swingirl, I hope you will indulge me for a moment while I attempt to explain myself. Pricescope does certainly make me more aware of the jewelry around me...you are definitely right about that.

I didn't mean to imply that my ring is any way small. But when imdanny asked about the size, I wanted to make sure it was clear that I wasn't attempting to say that my ring is huge in a crazy 10 carat way, but I wasn't sure how to say that delicately. When asked the size, I wondered if I was sounding braggy, which was not my intention.

I think PS alters the way we view our jewelry...I will speak for myself and say that I tend to compare. When I see 3 or 4 carat stones, I inevitable compare them in shape, color or other specs. Not that I view my ring as lesser, just as statistically different. I think because I was specifically asked the size of the stone, I felt that I wanted to explain that because I tend to compare, I notice the other rings in the office and then draw conclusions about what is the norm for the office.

I hope that I did not offend you when I said that my stone was not huge by PS standards. I know that I am very lucky to have been in a financial position to afford a 2 ct ring with my fiance. I also am aware that my ring is larger than the average engagement ring in the country. This awareness was what aroused my initial concern about wearing the ring to work.

I hope I am explaining myself well.

I think you are correct that in the end I need to do what I feel comfortable with. Thank you.

 

[Fly Girl]

I understand your concerns about wearing valuable jewelry when working with lower income clients. I am going to be in the same situation soon (going to be a tax preparer in a lower income neighborhood) and I already made up my mind to leave my more valuable jewelry at home. I feel it would be out of place and an unnecessary hinderance to doing my job. I am lucky enough to have my original wedding set still with an upgraded 0.63 ct diamond (up from 0.2 ct) that I think will work fine. I have a 1.5 ct diamond ring set in platinum that was my 25th wedding anniversary present and I can wear it at other times.

Your job is not about you, it is about your clients, and I agree that you will be more effective if you look professional, but not overly decorated.

 

[LGK]

My ring isn't huge, particularly by ps standards.

2.02 I vs1 cushion.

But the other rings in the office look to be between .3 to 1 carat rounds. Also I should say that I'm not necessarily worried about offending anyone other than clients. I work mainly with the elderly and the disabled. Many clients are also having other troubles including financial problems (evictions, foreclosures, bankruptcy). Now I know these things happen to anyone and I'm not trying to be overly concerned about something that doesn't matter. It's just that I want clients to understand that I'm on their sides, so I'm worried a nice ring might make clients feel like I'm out of touch. Kwim?

For pete's sake.. wear and enjoy your ring. What's the point in having it if you can't use and enjoy it?

You know, most people don't notice jewelry. Until I found this site, I never even noticed if someone had a microscopic engagement ring or a 5 carat ring. Seriously. Most people don't notice this stuff. If they don't, they'll either assume 1) it's fake (so?) 2) it's an heirloom 3) you overpaid (so?) 4) you like jewelry and got this instead of something else. Chances are, most people won't even notice in the first place, and those that do.. if they're in this situation.. would assume that a larger ring is fake. Nothing wrong with that. And, some of them might have jewelry of their own (heirlooms, etc.). Others have NO IDEA what a piece of jewelry is, or even a vague idea of how much it costs. I doubt anyone would notice your jewelry as much as you, the wearer. Even if they do notice,... so? One ring won't make you seem out of touch with a low-income client: people's attitude, or excess (I wouldn't show up wearing Prada, with a Gucci bag, and 5 carats of diamonds.. with Blahnik shoes.), etc. One ring doesn't make you seem out of touch. If you look at it as they're unemployed (if they are), and you're not.. or, you have.. blah blah.. you could find a magnitude of reasons to be able to not relate to someone,... but since you're helpful and caring towards them, you DO relate.

With that said, I do think there's some need for wearing things based on a situation. Such as, no one dresses up in an evening gown with half a dozen carats in jewelry to go to the gas station, or to a fast food restaurant in a rough neighborhood. But, an engagement ring isn't gaudy.. it's a ring.... that many people won't even notice. If people mention it all the time, you can stop wearing it... until then, use the thing. No sense in it collecting dust. Necklaces and other jewelry looks weird with jeans/casual stuff, but people expect someone to generally wear their engagement/wedding rings and think nothing of it.

Big huge ditto. People outside of PS really don't have the slightest idea what carat weight stone they're looking at or any idea how much it would have cost new. (Seriously, I've had people decide they're going to try to guess how much my 3 1/2 ct OEC cost because I wouldn't tell them- oh what fun, I love that - and $1K was one memorable guess.) And yeah, most people simply don't *see* jewelry. And if they do, so what? If someone pesters you about it, you can always decide to lie like a rug- I really don't have a problem with doing that to people asking rude questions. Say it's fake, or a family stone. But honestly, just enjoy your engagement ring. After a few months' you'll stop thinking about it.

Anyway, an e-ring is a gift from your fiance. So you see women who have all sorts of jobs sporting various sizes of rings- I've seen servers wearing 4 ct+ rings and so forth.

 

[starryeyed]

Pardon me for saying this, but do you feel SAFE wearing your ring to work?

I know you said you work mostly with the elderly and disabled. I don't know the situation, but are there any people coming through the office, not necessarily to see you, with criminal backgrounds or drug problems?

In my neighborhood (which is a good one!), there have been a rash of break-ins, where the thieves take ONLY jewelry. The police claim it's drug-related. Addicts can steal jewelry, hide it easily, sell it easily, and buy the next fix easily. I would be concerned that if the wrong person sees your bling, you could be watched and robbed in the parking lot.

In general, I think the fewer outward displays of wealth in the office environment the better.

 

[bricklayer]

I don't really think anything of wearing my rings to work. But it's pretty unassuming. I just file papers, answer phones and type things up on the computer. And rarely am I seeing anyone face to face other than a random person who has a meeting appointment.

But I can definitely see why not wanting to wear your jewelry when you work with someone who cannot afford things of that nature and or were in trouble with the law for things like theft. That would probably be more dangerous. But if you don't wear them where would you put them? In your purse/desk? Or leave them home? I would be more nervous about them getting stolen if not on me.

 

[AustenNut]

I understand your concern. I am teacher at a title 1 school (almost all of our kids receive free/reduced lunch) and I wear my ring daily. It's a sapphire, but at nearly 3 carats (7x9mm) it's on the large side for an e-ring. I've had no bad experiences with it. Sometimes my kids will ask if it's my birthstone, but nobody has ever discussed the cost, it's appropriateness, or anything else.

I think a lot of people just check to see if you have a ring on that finger or not, but don't really notice the size of the stone. Those who see its size might not realize the cost, or would just assume that it's fake. I agree with Imdanny that your ring would only arise as an issue is if you were not good at your job, and didn't treat others with kindness.

 

[purplesilk]

Your e-ring is beautiful and huge!
Don't wear your e-ring if you're not comfortable with it; if you can afford it, buy a diamond band (2/3 pointers) or a sapphire band and wear it while you're at work.

 

[Scorpioanne]

I think you're making the right choice to eschew the ring at work, given circumstances, 'cause people *do* notice. I'm a professor, working with mostly 1st-gen and returning student populations. If I wear my ring to teach, invariably, some of my students will come up at the end of class and say that they couldn't take their eyes off it, how many carats is it, etc. Which is nice, but ... well, I sort of want thinking about the lecture, y'know? ...

I agree, I have had the same experience with students (I teach social work) people DO notice. My students are in practicum and are wrestling with the same issues.

 

[kittybean]

My ring isn't huge, particularly by ps standards.

2.02 I vs1 cushion.

But the other rings in the office look to be between .3 to 1 carat rounds. Also I should say that I'm not necessarily worried about offending anyone other than clients. I work mainly with the elderly and the disabled. Many clients are also having other troubles including financial problems (evictions, foreclosures, bankruptcy). Now I know these things happen to anyone and I'm not trying to be overly concerned about something that doesn't matter. It's just that I want clients to understand that I'm on their sides, so I'm worried a nice ring might make clients feel like I'm out of touch. Kwim?

I'm also an attorney who works with low-income clients, and my e-ring is similar in size to yours (2.12 EC). At first, I was concerned about wearing my wedding set to work, but I gradually realized that it didn't seem to make a difference to my clients whether I wore it or not, but it did make a difference to me. I love my ring, and not wearing it makes me sad. So I wear it and enjoy it.

You need to do what makes you feel most comfortable and happy. Does it bother you that people don't know that you are engaged right away? Does it bother you that you're not wearing your ring? Are you happier not wearing the ring because no assumptions are made about your taste/finances/marital status? If you need to, create a three-prong test and do a cost-benefit analysis, then decide how you feel about wearing your e-ring to work (ah, law humor ).

Maybe getting a colored stone ring is the answer for you, especially if you think you'll fly under the radar a little more with it. I occasionally wear my sapphire solitaire with my wedding band instead of my e-ring, and I think I actually get more comments and compliments on the sapphire. Although my first love is definitely diamonds, I think colored stones start conversations.

One final thought: remember that most people who come to you for assistance will have big problems of their own to worry about. I think most of them will not notice or care what your rings look like. The focus of your meetings is always going to be on the client and his or her circumstances and issues. As long as you are caring, sensitive, professional, patient, and earnest in your demeanor, I think that your jewelry will matter very, very little to your clients. What will matter is making them feel that they are important to you and not letting them get swallowed up by "the system" that is so often a big part of their lives.