Need to vent...

[ammayernyc]

Okay, this is a little off the diamond topic, but if I don''t get this out I may not have a boyfriend anymore for I will be ripping his head off.

Do you ever get the feeling that your bf or fiance or husband feels their job is SOOOO much more important than yours? Mine just proved to me that he does...

I bought a pair of sunglasses this week because he didn''t like my old ones and we''re going down to Florida tomorrow so I thought that instead of him looking at me like, ''those are ugly'' that I would buy news ones. (Obviously, I love the new ones too, otherwise I wouldn''t buy them). So, today I realized that one of the bolts fell off and they are unwearable. My bf works in walking distance from the store that we bought them -- also, the store is a chain and there is a store even closer than the one I orginally bought them from. So, wouldn''t you think it would be easy for him to say that he would take 20 mintues out of his busy work day to go to the store for me to get the sunglass that I bought because he didn''t like my old ones fixed? Oh, no. He''s too busy. He tells me that I should go after work. I work VERY far from the store. I also have an appointment after work that is VERY far from the store... in the opposite direction from work. So, I would have to leave work either really early or take a $20 cab to the store to get them fixed and then try to get another cab (which is virtually impossible at that time and place in NYC -- which he knows since HE WORKS RIGHT THERE) so I can make my appointment. All of this so he can save 20 minutes out of his day because obviously the things he needs to do before I go away are a lot more important than the things I need to do before we go away...

So, so, so, so ANGRY!

To make matters worse, I am doing a favor for him of almost exactly the same proportions! I have to take time out of my day to go to the post office to mail a phone back to ONE OF HIS FRIENDS who left it at our apartment over the weekend. Did I mention that there is post office around the corner from his office? ARGH!!@!

 

[MelissaSue]

I''m sorry amma, Men really just don''t THINK. You have every right to be annoyed with him! I say DON"T mail the cell phone, and call him and tell him that he can do it after he gets out of work!

 

[appletini]

Men! I think you should nicely tell him that it would mean a lot to you if you would get your sunglasses fixed for you b/c you don''t have time due to your appt and your post office trip (for him). He needs to be a little more appreciative.

 

[ammayernyc]

Trust me, I did ask him to do it for me. His response was, ''I have a lot of things I have to do today, I''m not going to have time. Why don''t you go there after work?''

I know it sounds bratty of me... but I make it a point to do all the little things for him that would make his life easier. I know he feels a little guilty about not doing this for me because he kept asking me this morning is everything was okay and telling me that I looked so sad. I just played it off on the fact that I was pissed that the glasses broke instead of telling him that he''s the one that''s pissing me off. But his response to my anger is to get angry himself so it''s just not worth all the hassle for such a little thing. He said he would compromise so he took the glasses and told me to tell the store to come pick them up and drop them off when they''re fixed. But you know that''s never going to happen... I''m hoping maybe he''ll feel guilty enough that he''s just walk his butt to the store and get them fixed. But, then of course he''s going to make a big deal of it like it''s such a big favor he''s doing me instead of just doing it in the first place! ARGH!!!

Still angry I guess... hope I cool off soon. Damn PMS.

 

[njc]

So sorry Amm! Apples got some good advice there. That is pretty classic male though... not thinking things all the way through and *never* realizing what you are doing for them. Although "forgeting" or "being too busy" to make it to the post office might be in good order... but not a good way to start off a vacation.

Maybe just taking your time getting home tonight (a fun stop somewhere?) and then when he asks where youve been, you can say you were trying to get everything you needed PLUS his request done.

 

[Libster]

Ugggghhh...Men!
That story sounds soooooo familiar. I''m a brat and would not mail the phone and would bring it back home and sit it on the counter for him to mail back......you just don''t have time to go to the post office

I would also suggest going sunglass shopping while in Florida since you will need a pair and he couldn''t help you out with getting them repaired...he can buy you another new pair

I find if I''m feeling unappreciated for something I do for hubby, I just stop doing it. He quickly learns to appreciate the things I do for him when Monday morning comes around and he has no clean underwear or socks

I just didn''t have time to do the wash.

By the way...I have PMS too

can you tell?!

 

[ammayernyc]

Thanks for all of your support ladies!

I would love to ''forget'' to mail the phone, but that would only be punishing his friend and not him. Besides, we''re leaving to stay at his mom''s house very early tomorrow morning, and she will obviously have his back if we''re angry at each other. Not worth it.

Maybe I can meet a friend for a drink after work so I can calm down a bit and he can get all nervous that I''m not home to pack.

Seriously, this is such not a big thing. I have another pair of sunglass that I can wear so it''s not like I''m going without. And they''re just sunglasses... But I would not even think twice about doing this for him!

 

[ammayernyc]

Okay, an update:

The store was good enough to get another pair of sunglasses so I can exchange them quickly instead of having them fix the old (by two days) ones. The bf doesn''t understand why the salesperson at the store cannot leave the store and come to his office to drop them off. However, now he says he will go and get them. But he was SO unhappy about this. I just know he''s going to give me sh*t about it tonight about how he did me this great favor! Never mind that I waited in line for 30 minutes at the post office to send his friend''s phone back...
Also, I have to remind him in an hour or so to pick them up because he is so busy now... like he''s going to forget to do it or something unless I bug him!
Seriously, I think he has PMS too!

 

[twinkletoes]

i think you have every right to be angry, but getting mad at him won''t help the situation.

when you go home tonight, graciously thank him for taking the time to help you out with yout sunglass problem, that you know he was busy today but that it meant a lot for you. And then mention to him that you got his errand done with today as all and mention how great you guys are as a team - helping each other out. I think people just want/need to feel appreciated.

there''s no way in hell he can give you shit after that. if he does, a swift kick to the balls should shut him up quick. haha just kidding!

 

[ammayernyc]

Twinkletoes: I think that''s probably what I''ll do eventhough I''ll have to curb my urge to yell at him and tell him that he can be a selfish bastard sometimes.
I am just having the worst day and it all started off with him just being bratty by not being willing to understand that this is a simple favor, will not take much of his time and that I would do it for him in a second without having a need to be rewarded. Now I have to deal with this idiot at work too! I just spent a month researching and writing and preparing for this hearing that I have tomorrow and the chair of the damn committee calls to tell me that I need to call everyone and tell them that he''s going to be 30 minutes late because he''s has too many things to do beforehand. He''s the freaking HEAD OF THE DAMN THING!!! Get there on time. There is no excuse for you to be late. If you knew that you had all these things to do beforehand, schedule the hearing for later. None of this came up today!

AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Damn hormones!!!!

 

[ForteKitty]

wow.. you have a lot more self-restraint than me.

Since he was the one who had a problem with your old sunglasses, I would have just worn the old ones till I had time to exchange the new ones. If he thinks they''re ugly and didn''t like it, that''s his problem. Then I would have tossed his friend''s package at him and told him to mail it himself because I am too busy to stand in line at the post office.

But that''s just me. I don''t deal with inconsiderateness very well, and I believe in being treated the same way I would treat others.

 

[Blue824]

hehe I''m sort of inclined to agree with Fortekitty...Sometimes P says all these things like "you just don''t understand how busy I am" or "you don''t understand how hard this is" and he''s working full time with one grad class...i understand, it can get stressful, but last spring I was taking 3 grad classes (because i got bored with my undergrad ones so i kicked it up a notch) and had a full time internship at the state department (unpaid, mind you) and then i babysat aout 20 hrs a week for some extra $$! The WHOLE time he''d be like I dont understand why you''re tired on Friday nights and don''t go out! I''m like because I am tired....and he never understood...and now I''m like Ha! You think you had it bad

I agree with the other girls, its just a typical boy response sometimes, and mine goes through phases where he''s more like that and whatever, I just laugh, I know he''s just not used to that level of stress and other people are better at coping with it than others...so I just choose to believe I''m one of those people who handles it well!

Glad everything worked out wiht the sunglasses!

 

[twinkletoes]

Date: 2/16/2005 2:45:57 PM
Author: ammayernyc
Twinkletoes: I think that''s probably what I''ll do eventhough I''ll have to curb my urge to yell at him and tell him that he can be a selfish bastard sometimes.

oh trust me, i''ve been in your shoes and i know the routine. i''ve learned that the angry yelling doesn''t help much. LOL

later down the line you might want to sit him down & talk about you think you''re more busy/your needs are more important than mine issues. remind him that you do your best to always help him out & that even if it''s not important to you personally, you make it a priority because it''s important to him. and then tell him that he needs to do the same for you. team work rah~ lol where are my pompoms??

 

[chantal990]

Men don''t think at all. I can understand why you don''t want to start something before going to his mum''s 99% of mother''s would automatically be on his side. I'' just wait until net time he asks you to do something and then tell him that you''re too busy/tired/whatever.