Need some advice: there seem to be a lot of cat owners so here goes...

[looking for ideas]

How do I get my cats to get along? I have had a 1 cat household for 7 yrs and brought a new cat home from the shelter about 8 months ago. My older cat refuses to get along with our new little guy. She gets really nervous and uneasy when she hears him through the door. How do i get them to get along. I am so tired of having to keep them separated. thanks

 

[MonkeyPie]

After 8 months I don''t know that there is a lot to be done. Some cats are just meant to be a Queen of her Domain. What happens when they are in the same room? Does she attack the new kitty, or is she just upset? If you''ve been keeping them in seperate rooms this whole time, that could be the whole problem - eventually, your first kitty needs to realize the new kitty won''t take her "spot."

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 9/20/2008 10:13:56 PM
Author: MonkeyPie
After 8 months I don't know that there is a lot to be done. Some cats are just meant to be a Queen of her Domain. What happens when they are in the same room? Does she attack the new kitty, or is she just upset? If you've been keeping them in seperate rooms this whole time, that could be the whole problem - eventually, your first kitty needs to realize the new kitty won't take her 'spot.'

Ditto - if you have been keeping them separate each time they start growling etc, then that would actually interfere with their sorting out territories and learning to get along together. The trick is to keep your nerve if they do start wailing, obviously intervene if they start fighting but a bit of slinking, growling, hair standing on end and batting at each other is normal and much of it is usually bluff. Increase the time the cats spend together daily until they are together full time, of course if you have been doing the above then feel free to ignore it!

 

[bee*]

Date: 9/21/2008 4:18:59 AM
Author: Lorelei

Date: 9/20/2008 10:13:56 PM

Author: MonkeyPie

After 8 months I don''t know that there is a lot to be done. Some cats are just meant to be a Queen of her Domain. What happens when they are in the same room? Does she attack the new kitty, or is she just upset? If you''ve been keeping them in seperate rooms this whole time, that could be the whole problem - eventually, your first kitty needs to realize the new kitty won''t take her ''spot.''

Ditto - if you have been keeping them separate each time they start growling etc, then that would actually interfere with their sorting out territories and learning to get along together. The trick is to keep your nerve if they do start wailing, obviously intervene if they start fighting but a bit of slinking, growling, hair standing on end and batting at each other is normal and much of it is usually bluff. Increase the time the cats spend together daily until they are together full time, of course if you have been doing the above then feel free to ignore it!

ditto to both posts. They really do need to sort it out by themselves and like Lorelei said, intervene if they''re actually physically fighting, but they do need to sort it out by growling and determining who''s boss.

 

[Elmorton]

My MIL had this problem - sometimes it can be really hard to introduce a kitten to an older cat. She ended up letting the older cat be and indoor/outdoor cat (which I don''t suggest) so he could get away from the younger one and she ended up getting another kitten because the first little one was pretty rejected. The cats never got along well (the two kittens, even as adults were very bonded but would sortof chase the older around, even though at night they''d all sleep with my MIL). They didn''t fight, but they clearly weren''t pals. When the cats get used to eachother (and, it probably is a good idea to let them tussle a little bit if they need to figure out who is dominant - our cats are 2 and 3 and they tussle quite a bit, but we keep a waterbottle in every room and spray them if we hear someone get angry), they may lot like each other but they should tolerate eachother''s existence.

 

[radiantquest]

i agree with everyone else. i had one for a year (boy) and introduced a kitten (girl). he shows her that he is the boss quite often. at first i thought he was hurting her, but then realized that she is just a screamer. she is never bleeding or limping and will go over and lick his head. either she is really dumb or she just screams. we kind of just brought her home and left him no choice but to have her. they eat at the same time out of the same bowl. i think once they get through the "intoduction" phase one will come out dominant and they will be fine. hope this helps.

 

[princesss]

Date: 9/21/2008 6:52:42 PM
Author: radiantquest
i agree with everyone else. i had one for a year (boy) and introduced a kitten (girl). he shows her that he is the boss quite often. at first i thought he was hurting her, but then realized that she is just a screamer. she is never bleeding or limping and will go over and lick his head. either she is really dumb or she just screams. we kind of just brought her home and left him no choice but to have her. they eat at the same time out of the same bowl. i think once they get through the ''intoduction'' phase one will come out dominant and they will be fine. hope this helps.

Definitely let them sort it out. I got a new cat about a month ago, and they spent about a week separated. There was hissing and growling, and I was really at my wits end. I kept letting my new cat (Ezra) out for longer and longer and my older cat (Lola) would get annoyed and hiss, but then calm down a little bit. Since he''s been out full-time, Lola will growl sometimes and swat him when he jumps in her face, but they tussle from time to time. There''s a pretty clear difference between serious fighting and just figuring out dominance. You''ll be able to tell.

Also, try getting the Feliway plug-ins and having them plugged in for a few hours before you let them into the same room. It has some pheramones (spelling?) that help calm the cats down.

 

[OUpearlgirl]

I don''t have anything to add, these ladies all know what they are talking about.

But, can we see pictures of your little quarreling cuties?

 

[FireGoddess]

It takes nerves of steel, which admittedly I don''t have.

I have had mine separated for a year and 4 months. I can''t believe it''s been that long, but it has. However, I haven''t had the chutzpah to let them duke it out.

The other day I found the door ajar (the door separating them, it had been open just a minute apparently) and nobody was bleeding or screaming. There was a lot of hissing and low growling, but no tumbling. One was sitting against a wall on the defensive, one was just looking around. That was a turnaround for me. Today I kept the door open a bit and there was again no bloodshed, but a lot of growling. I treated both of them (when they were ignoring each other) and praised them and separated them once more. I will keep doing this until they can tolerate each other. My main concern is that one (the growler) is a scaredy cat and I''m afraid she''s going to urinate on my bed (again) out of fear, so I''m trying to take it slow. But if these 2 can ever get together, any 2 can!!

Still, takes nerves of steel.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I don''t think you *can* make them. Some cats are friends, some aren''t. It took quite awhile for our two cats to get along. I think at least a year. The little one just wanted to play and bugged the older one. Once he calmed down a bit it helped. Now they get along. It''s not like they cuddle or anything but they do lay close and "play." My best advice is to give it time.