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My SO asked me to just 'vote for him'

kenny

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Like zillions of Americans my SO doesn't vote.
He doesn't care, blah blah blah. :nono: :angryfire: :nono: :angryfire: :nono:

Yeah he's a butthead on this, but I'm not going to dump him.

I finally got him to register to vote, but after ignoring it for weeks and finally glancing at the large mailing describing all of California's ballot measures and initiataves and judicial candidates, congress and the pres, he tossed it aside and turned on his TV. :angryfire: :nono: :angryfire: :nono:
He will not put any effort into learning anything beyond what's obvious to anyone with 3 brain cells, Trump = Hitler.

Now, here's the bombshell:
He told me to just fill out his absentee ballot for him with whatev I vote for, and he'll mail it in today.

I'm deeply conflicted.
One person should not get two votes, which (effectively) is what will happen if I do what he has requested.
On one hand, I'm like Yo Hoo! Kenny gets two votes. :naughty:
On the other hand I'm tempted to tell him I won't do it ... in which case I'm certain he will not vote, which is one anti-Hiltler vote that won't be cast. ;(

Question for our attorneys: Is it illegal for me to do what he has requested?

Question for everyone: What would you do?

Oh ... and ... am I the only one married to a bimbo?
 

House Cat

Ideal_Rock
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Feb 22, 2009
Messages
4,284
I wouldn't vote for him.


I wouldn't push anymore either. When you push up against someone, they usually push back.
 

Kaleigh

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Nope, wouldn't vote for him. He had the chance to and threw it away.. His loss.
 

rainwood

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Seems like the one thing you you do know is that he doesn't want Trump to be president. So I'd mark his ballot for Hillary Clinton and leave the rest blank. Tell him that's what you did and if he's okay with that, to sign the ballot. Then the final decision is his.

You're not voting for him that way. You're just filling out his ballot consistently with what he told you his political views actually are (as limited as they may be). There's nothing wrong with that. My DH used to ask me all the time who he should vote for in certain races. I'd tell him and he'd mark his ballot. Ain't nothing wrong with that either.

And I agree that if he doesn't want to vote in future elections, you either let it be or ask if there's anyone on the ballot that he'd like to vote for and mark his ballot accordingly. If he says nobody, then toss the ballot in the trash.
 

kenny

Super_Ideal_Rock
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29,108
I suspect, actually am sure, this is not the first time this has happened to a lazy voter.
They defer to a person they trust.

If I do what he wants, is it voter fraud?
Seriously, I'm deeply conflicted and stressing out and have just a few hours to decide.

One one hand ... is it wrong to look to a person you know and respect for their perspective on this civic duty?
Isn't this what he's doing, albeit to an extreme?

I'm not trolling; this is a very disturbing dilemma for me.
Please, everyone respond to help me flesh this out.
52 view, but only 4 posts?

screen_shot_2016-11-08_at_12.png
 

E B

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 31, 2005
Messages
9,488
Just ask him to fill in President. He has an opinion about that, and it'll take him all of 5 seconds. Then, mail it in.
 

sstephensid

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Mar 28, 2012
Messages
248
I wouldn't fill it out. I'd be afraid of the consequences (voter fraud). I would sit down and point to where he needs to check/whatever for her. Ignore the rest. Then have him sign. Voila!
 

AGBF

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I obtained two absentee ballots for other people this year in addition to my own. One of the ballots was filled out by the man for whom I got it (my father's male CNA who lives with us). However, I filled out the other absentee ballot for my father. The Virginia and Connecticut absentee ballots differ. Neither has a place on the ballot itself for a signature, since we have a secret ballot here in the US, but one of them (I believe the Virginia one) requires a witness to the voting itself. The outer envelope has to be signed by a second person. My father signed his own ballot. The reason I obtained an absentee ballot for him was his illness. If he were stronger, he would have voted in person, as he did up through last year.

AGBF
 

kenny

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E B|1478637775|4095354 said:
Just ask him to fill in President. He has an opinion about that, and it'll take him all of 5 seconds. Then, mail it in.
I believe this is the only ethical thing to do.
I will do this.

Thank you.

It is telling, and frankly embarrassing, this had not occurred to me but I've always been more about authenticity and transparency than looking out for Kenny's purity score.
 

AGBF

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21,842
I am sure that what I did was not voter fraud. I have been filling out many, many papers for my father and my daughter recently and I have been asked at the bottom of each one whether I am the person himself or someone else filling out the form and if I am not the person, what my relationship to the person listed on the form is. I do this at every doctor's appointment where my father needs any kind of minor surgery (which is at least once weekly). In the case of my father, I have POA. In the case of my daughter, I am her social security representative payee, but do not have POA.

AGBF
 

maccers

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 19, 2012
Messages
1,166
kenny|1478637311|4095349 said:
I suspect, actually am sure, this is not the first time this has happened to a lazy voter.
They defer to a person they trust.

If I do what he wants, is it voter fraud?
Seriously, I'm deeply conflicted and stressing out and have just a few hours to decide.

One one hand ... is it wrong to look to a person you know and respect for their perspective on this civic duty?
Isn't this what he's doing, albeit to an extreme?

I'm not trolling; this is a very disturbing dilemma for me.
Please, everyone respond to help me flesh this out.
52 view, but only 4 posts?
I looked but didn't respond once I saw what the issue was. I'm Canadian so it didn't feel appropriate to respond.

As an aside, the topic headline initially made me think that your SO was asking you to vote for Trump, ie: "just vote for him/Trump".
 

Karl_K

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AGBF|1478638702|4095363 said:
I am sure that what I did was not voter fraud. I have been filling out many, many papers for my father and my daughter recently and I have been asked at the bottom of each one whether I am the person himself or someone else filling out the form and if I am not the person, what my relationship to the person listed on the form is. I do this at every doctor's appointment where my father needs any kind of minor surgery (which is at least once weekly). In the case of my father, I have POA. In the case of my daughter, I am her social security representative payee, but do not have POA.

AGBF
In some states it is voter fraud, in other states as long as the voter told you who to pick its legal.
Some states have a place for the assisting person to sign and it is required.
If the assistant picks them themselves and or the voter is not capable of picking then it is fraud in all states.
I cant just be he/she always voted this way so that is what I will put down.
The bottom line in all states is the ballet must reflect the desire of the voter and they
must be capable of making the decision.
 

katharath

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Mar 5, 2013
Messages
2,835
If you were in a swing state I'd advise you to DEFINITELY do it.

(Just kidding...or am I?!?)

Actually, I like the compromise to just vote for president, since it would be following his wishes but not pursuing your own.
 

Karl_K

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kenny|1478637311|4095349 said:
If I do what he wants, is it voter fraud?
yes, if he is capable of marking it then it is fraud for you to do so for him in most states.
 

Dee*Jay

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13,428
Kenny,

Your SO expressed a desire to vote for Clinton for President. If you check that box and he signs the form (with the opportunity to of course review the box that you checked indicating his preference) then I do not view that as voting for him. I view that as facilitating the completion of a form that he signs. It's like going into the bank and the teller fills out the deposit slip and you sign it. The teller isn't initiating the deposit of money into your account, he/she is representing your intent on a piece of paper that you must sign to make valid.

As for the other positions, as your SO has no indicated a preference for any of those candidates, I would leave those blank as he has not expressed a position or intent.

ETA: I must have mis-read this, but I thought your SO HAD expressed a preference for Clinton for President. If I'm wrong about that and your SO has expressed no preference then I take back what I wrote above.
 

purplesparklies

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 28, 2010
Messages
743
If he told you to fill it out however you choose and you fill it out and submit it in his name, that is voter fraud. If he told you to fill it out for him and vote for a specific candidate because he doesn't want to/can't fill out the form and you fill it out as he requested and submit it, that is not voter fraud. Those are two different scenarios.

Just my opinion having not researched the voting laws of your state.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
 

arkieb1

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
May 11, 2012
Messages
9,686
Ask him clearly who he wants to vote for and then fill it in how he says he would fill it in. My mother has been doing this for my 94 year old grandmother for years.
 

Arcadian

Ideal_Rock
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Sep 17, 2008
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Kenny, I'm surprised you actually put up with that.
 

AGBF

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Messages
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Karl_K|1478640315|4095385 said:
AGBF|1478638702|4095363 said:
I am sure that what I did was not voter fraud. I have been filling out many, many papers for my father and my daughter recently and I have been asked at the bottom of each one whether I am the person himself or someone else filling out the form and if I am not the person, what my relationship to the person listed on the form is. I do this at every doctor's appointment where my father needs any kind of minor surgery (which is at least once weekly). In the case of my father, I have POA. In the case of my daughter, I am her social security representative payee, but do not have POA.

AGBF

In some states it is voter fraud, in other states as long as the voter told you who to pick its legal.
Some states have a place for the assisting person to sign and it is required.
If the assistant picks them themselves and or the voter is not capable of picking then it is fraud in all states.
I cant just be he/she always voted this way so that is what I will put down.
The bottom line in all states is the ballet must reflect the desire of the voter and they
must be capable of making the decision.
Well, in my father's case, he knew for whom he was voting. He was perfectly competent to make the decision. He had difficulty signing the form, however. His hands have become increasingly frail. I am glad that he is still able to feed himself, but his handwriting is illegible. His fine motor skills seem to be going before his gross motor skills. There was no place on the absentee ballot itself to indicate that he was being assisted, but there was a place on the application for the ballot and and I indicated it there when I sent for the ballot. I will attach a link so that you can see how Connecticut (my father's state, not mine) does it.

I filled in Section VII when I sent for the absentee ballot.

Link...http://www.ct.gov/sots/LIB/sots/ElectionServices/ElectForms/electforms/aabeng.pdf
 

jordyonbass

Brilliant_Rock
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Personally I'd avoid doing it unless SO is willing to deal with all repercussions that may potentially arise, and even then as long as you have voted for him rather than used his vote for yourself and he verifies that then I don't think you will have an issue.

And to answer your question, no you aren't alone. Apparently my wife has married one too :lol: :lol:
 

Karl_K

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AGBF|1478644660|4095437 said:
Karl_K|1478640315|4095385 said:
AGBF|1478638702|4095363 said:
I am sure that what I did was not voter fraud. I have been filling out many, many papers for my father and my daughter recently and I have been asked at the bottom of each one whether I am the person himself or someone else filling out the form and if I am not the person, what my relationship to the person listed on the form is. I do this at every doctor's appointment where my father needs any kind of minor surgery (which is at least once weekly). In the case of my father, I have POA. In the case of my daughter, I am her social security representative payee, but do not have POA.

AGBF

In some states it is voter fraud, in other states as long as the voter told you who to pick its legal.
Some states have a place for the assisting person to sign and it is required.
If the assistant picks them themselves and or the voter is not capable of picking then it is fraud in all states.
I cant just be he/she always voted this way so that is what I will put down.
The bottom line in all states is the ballet must reflect the desire of the voter and they
must be capable of making the decision.
Well, in my father's case, he knew for whom he was voting. He was perfectly competent to make the decision. He had difficulty signing the form, however. His hands have become increasingly frail. I am glad that he is still able to feed himself, but his handwriting is illegible. His fine motor skills seem to be going before his gross motor skills. There was no place on the absentee ballot itself to indicate that he was being assisted, but there was a place on the application for the ballot and and I indicated it there when I sent for the ballot. I will attach a link so that you can see how Connecticut (my father's state, not mine) does it.

I filled in Section VII when I sent for the absentee ballot.

Link...http://www.ct.gov/sots/LIB/sots/ElectionServices/ElectForms/electforms/aabeng.pdf
interesting.

I also found this:
http://www.sots.ct.gov/sots/lib/sots/electionservices/voterfactsheets/2015/ct_voters_with_disabilities_fact_sheet2015.pdf
I NEED ASSISTANCE CASTING MY BALLOT
.
Any voter may allow someone to assist them in casting their ballot, with some exceptions.
These people that are not allowed to help include:
the voter’s employer (or an agent of the employer), an agent of the voter’s
union, or a candidate whose name appears on the ballot,
unless they are a member of the voter’s immediate family.
 

AGBF

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Messages
21,842
Karl_K|1478645585|4095447 said:
AGBF|1478644660|4095437 said:
Karl_K|1478640315|4095385 said:
AGBF|1478638702|4095363 said:
I am sure that what I did was not voter fraud. I have been filling out many, many papers for my father and my daughter recently and I have been asked at the bottom of each one whether I am the person himself or someone else filling out the form and if I am not the person, what my relationship to the person listed on the form is. I do this at every doctor's appointment where my father needs any kind of minor surgery (which is at least once weekly). In the case of my father, I have POA. In the case of my daughter, I am her social security representative payee, but do not have POA.

AGBF

In some states it is voter fraud, in other states as long as the voter told you who to pick its legal.
Some states have a place for the assisting person to sign and it is required.
If the assistant picks them themselves and or the voter is not capable of picking then it is fraud in all states.
I cant just be he/she always voted this way so that is what I will put down.
The bottom line in all states is the ballet must reflect the desire of the voter and they
must be capable of making the decision.
Well, in my father's case, he knew for whom he was voting. He was perfectly competent to make the decision. He had difficulty signing the form, however. His hands have become increasingly frail. I am glad that he is still able to feed himself, but his handwriting is illegible. His fine motor skills seem to be going before his gross motor skills. There was no place on the absentee ballot itself to indicate that he was being assisted, but there was a place on the application for the ballot and and I indicated it there when I sent for the ballot. I will attach a link so that you can see how Connecticut (my father's state, not mine) does it.

I filled in Section VII when I sent for the absentee ballot.

Link...http://www.ct.gov/sots/LIB/sots/ElectionServices/ElectForms/electforms/aabeng.pdf
interesting.

I also found this:
http://www.sots.ct.gov/sots/lib/sots/electionservices/voterfactsheets/2015/ct_voters_with_disabilities_fact_sheet2015.pdf
I NEED ASSISTANCE CASTING MY BALLOT
.
Any voter may allow someone to assist them in casting their ballot, with some exceptions.
These people that are not allowed to help include:
the voter’s employer (or an agent of the employer), an agent of the voter’s
union, or a candidate whose name appears on the ballot,
unless they are a member of the voter’s immediate family.
Thank you, Karl. I appreciate the additional information.

Deb :wavey:
 

jordyonbass

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Slightly off-topic of general conversation; but did anyone else read Kenny's thread title as though Kenny's SO wants Kenny's vote to actually be FOR him until they clicked the thread and began reading?

Kenny, what are his political views on passing laws so Aussie refrigerator's can get free plane tickets to the US for a PS GTG?? :lol: :lol:
 

Calliecake

Ideal_Rock
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Jun 7, 2014
Messages
7,409
If he said he wants Clinton for President I would want to cast his ballot. I just don't know what the right thing to do is. I don't know what I would do. What the heck are you going to do Kenny????

I'm so stressed out over this damn election that if he said he wanted Trump. I wouldn't do a darn thing. He'd have to vote for himself. There is nothing out there that could make me cast a ballot for that dirtbag.
 

Ellen

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Messages
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The very freedom you enjoy that allows you to vote, allows him to choose not to. Case closed. Let it go. He was/is trying to exercise his right. (he doesn't vote)
 

Polished

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Feb 28, 2012
Messages
1,097
Would you make the effort to send off his vote if it was not the choice you wanted?

I had a bad experience here of a friend telling me that her husband (who is obssessed with politics) stood over his wife's booth in order to oversee that she was voting "correctly".
 

kenny

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So, I went to the hospital and we talked.
(He's been there for 3 weeks with a major spinal injury)
... and yes he can pick up a pen ... he just has little stomach for politics especially while battling excruciating pain.

I told him I don't feel comfortable getting two votes.
He rolled his eyes.

I said I'd be happy to read California's official mailing's pros and cons.
I listed the ballot's issues, including, death penalty, plastic bags and legalizing recreational marijuana, and other less-dramtatic issues.
I'd fill in the circles for whatever his choices are.
After he signed the envelope I'd mail it.
That's what we did.

Yes, I recorded votes for him that did not match mine.
For instance, he voted to legalize recreational pot, while I voted against it.
Neither of us smoke it.

Actually I was surprised we agreed on many things.
During our 15 years together we've NEVER discuss politics.

He made calls on the sexy stuff and quickly lost interest on the rest.
I left all those circles blank on his ballot.
He signed the envelope.
I mailed it.
 

Dee*Jay

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Messages
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kenny|1478653474|4095509 said:
So, I went to the hospital and we talked.
(He's been there for 3 weeks with a major spinal injury)
... and yes he can pick up a pen ... he just has little stomach for politics especially battling excruciating pain.

I told him I don't feel comfortable getting two votes.
He rolled his eyes.

I said I'd be happy to read California's official mailing's pros and cons.
I listed the ballot's issues, including, death penalty, plastic bags and legalizing recreational marijuana, and other less-dramtatic issues.
I'd fill in the circles for whatever his choices are.
After he signed the envelope I'd mail it.
That's what we did.

Yes, I recorded votes for him that did not match mine.
For instance, he voted to legalize recreational pot, while I voted against it.
Neither of us smoke it.

He made calls on the sexy stuff and quickly lost interest on the rest.
I left all those circles blank on his ballot.
He signed the envelope.
I mailed it.
That seems like the right "process" all around! And I admire the fact that you mailed a ballot with positions different than what you would have chosen. (I'm not saying that in a way that implies I didn't think you would -- I'm emphasizing that I applaud you for it because I know there are people who would no do so.)

Thank you Kenny for broaching/pushing this with your SO.
 

jordyonbass

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kenny|1478653474|4095509 said:
So, I went to the hospital and we talked.
(He's been there for 3 weeks with a major spinal injury)
... and yes he can pick up a pen ... he just has little stomach for politics especially battling excruciating pain.

I told him I don't feel comfortable getting two votes.
He rolled his eyes.

I said I'd be happy to read California's official mailing's pros and cons.
I listed the ballot's issues, including, death penalty, plastic bags and legalizing recreational marijuana, and other less-dramtatic issues.
I'd fill in the circles for whatever his choices are.
After he signed the envelope I'd mail it.
That's what we did.

Yes, I recorded votes for him that did not match mine.
For instance, he voted to legalize recreational pot, while I voted against it.
Neither of us smoke it.

Actually I was surprised we agreed on many things.
During our 15 years together we NEVER discuss politics.

He made calls on the sexy stuff and quickly lost interest on the rest.
I left all those circles blank on his ballot.
He signed the envelope.
I mailed it.
Spot on!! Handled perfectly!! :clap:
 
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