My mom is unhappy with my new diamond? Please help!!!

[kayi078]

The diamond i bought:
1.438ct F VS1 3ex none

AGS Cert:
http://www.agslab.com/pdf_sync_reports/104089964007-PLDQRH.PDF

HCA Score: 1.2

I received it today and it looks good to me. My mom (not an expert but bought few diamonds over last 20 years) criticize it looks small and non-shiny. From my understanding it is not ACA cut but it is an expert selection in WF and has obvious 8 hearts 8 arrows shape....

My questions are:

1. What are you opinion on this diamond?
2. Will it look bigger and shinier after i mounted the ring (thinking of tiffany 6 prong replica in platinum)
3. Should i return it?

Any input would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

 

[PierreBear]

I'm not a diamond expert and won't comment on the stone. However, I just wanted to remind you that if it's a piece that you will be wearing that your feelings and opinions on the stone matter the most! If it's something you are giving to your mom, then perhaps follow her lead. From what I understand though, an expert selection should still be a good quality stone and perhaps your tolerance of what is "pretty" allows you to save a bit. Good luck and I hope other experts chime in on the stone you picked out!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I am sure the stone is in the category of top cut stones considering it is AGS Ideal cut and does not appear to have anything out of order. You have close to the look of a 1.5 ct without the price jump. I guess I'd tell my mom that if she thinks it is too small, I'd gladly let her pay the difference so I could get a 2 ct ACA. Seriously.

 

[kayi078]

Sorry i forgot to say

It will be used as engagement ring but i showed it to my mom today and she keeps asking me to return it now =[

 

[ac117]

What does she want you to get instead? You could probably drop a little in a color and clarity to a G VS2/H VS2 and get a larger stone at WF. But I could assure you that their stones are top of the line cut.

 

[miraj]

The nice thing about AGS is that they measure the light performance of the diamond, so you have a scientific evidence/measurement that shows that the diamond is actually top performing.

I have found that the lighting makes the biggest difference - and I would bet this is why your mom thinks your diamond isn't shiny. Jewelry store lighting is designed to make diamonds sparkle a ton, including crappy ones. If your mom is used to seeing diamonds in jewelry store lighting, then your home lighting (or outdoor lighting) won't be shiny at all. Stores with lots of bright, individual points of light and high ceilings (like a Costco) makes a diamond sparkle like crazy -- maybe show it to her in that situation. Check out some of the Good Old Gold diamond videos, in which they change the lighting situation (this video for example) and you'll see what I mean.

If the diamond isn't mounted, the way you are holding it and the direction the diamond is pointing can affect how much light goes into the stone, and how much light goes into the direction of your eyes. Are you touching it with your fingers, potentially blocking light? Is it behind plastic, which might refract light differently? Are you looking at it from the top or from the side? Good diamonds are like looking into a mirror -- but if the mirror is pointing the wrong angle, you won't see your reflection (the light coming out); and if something is blocking the light going in then less light will come out.

I would suggest that your mom can bring in a diamond she thinks is shiny and you can compare side by side in the same lighting, rather than comparing with her memory. (Memory has been shown to be very flawed in recalling reality.)

For 1.438 carats, the diamond is a reasonable size. At 61.8% depth, it is not excessively deep, so the diamond looks its weight -- it shouldn't look particularly small for its weight. It is possible to find diamonds that appear slightly wider for its weight (closer to 59%-60% depth), but the one you have isn't outside of ideal proportions (up to 62%).

If your mom is saying that it looks small (regardless of the weight), then it sounds like she just wants a bigger diamond, period.

Or is your mom saying that it looks small for what you paid? That's an entirely different question.

 

[whitewave]

Look, she sounds like my mom: champagne tastes, perhaps beer budget.

She wants a bigger diamond.

So now the question becomes: how does she get a bigger diamond? Who is paying?

Also, if everyone has been handing the diamond and touching it, it is probably filthy and covered in oils. I find it hard to believe that a white flash diamond would be described as "not shiny". Clean the diamond.

 

[whitewave]

Also, in looking for a bigger diamond, look at g-h color. (i'd start with H) and VS2.

Here is a 1.694 https://www.whiteflash.com/loose-diamonds/round-cut-loose-diamond-3565128.htm

 

[ChristineRose]

Get it cleaned.

That diamond has the shiniest shine of any diamond you'll ever see. Small is relative. If it's not dirty, then your mom is not looking at the stone objectively.

There's another possibility, and that is that there are trade-offs in light return. It could be more mirror like at the expense of flash, or it could be more prism like at the expense of brightness. Maybe she prefers that. I wouldn't call this shine though--but I'm a hard core geekette.

 

[whitewave]

Here is the difference between the one you bought and the one I recommended. Show her this and ask her what she wants. Anything bigger is quite a bit more money.

 

[Tophat1]

Agree on getting it cleaned. TBH, I was a bit disappointed in my WF ACA the moment I got it....until I realized my F had put his finger oils all over it. It sparkled and had fire like nothing else once I cleaned it

 

[kayi078]

How do i get it cleaned?

 

[whitewave]

One time I thought my asscher had suddenly turned grey and lackluster. Once I realized it was filthy and coated, it took me 3 days to get all the funk off of it.

 

[whitewave]

Warm water, a drop of blue dawn dish soap and a splash of ammonia is what I use. You may not even need to use ammonia. Water and dawn..

 

[whitewave]

Oh wait, lol. I thought you were being a good son and buying your mom a nice engagement ring as a present or something for HER engagement!!

This is a ring you bought for your soon to be fiancee?

i'm going to go look at your original post-- I am unsure how taxes work and if you would lose more money exchanging the diamond for a new one. I am inclined to believe this stone is beautiful... a 1.43 carat diamond is a good size stone I think any woman would be happy to have. You didn't skimp.

(Oh and PS, don't drop the diamond down the sink when cleaning it!!)

ETA: yes, it will have more presence when it is mounted in a ring

 

[whitewave]

Here is the original WF link to this stone so people can see it and comment: https://www.whiteflash.com/loose-diamonds/round-cut-loose-diamond-3753623.htm

 

[bunnycat]

By shinier do you mean whiter than F?

Why not leave the choice up to your fiance' for bigger or "shinier"?

Alternatively, take your stone to a jewelry store with your mom and then y'all can see how it compares to other stones if she is concerned about the performance of a WF stone.

 

[Niel]

Frankly I'd tell my mother that's horrible rude and you've done your research and done the best you could in your budget. If she still has a problem she can pay for the upgrade.

 

[rubybeth]

Frankly I'd tell my mother that's horrible rude and you've done your research and done the best you could in your budget. If she still has a problem she can pay for the upgrade.

I would tend to agree with Niel, but I am thinking cultural differences are at play here. I think you bought this stone for your future fiancée, but your mother has strong opinions about what you selected to give to her future daughter-in-law, is that correct? Maybe compared to other diamonds she has seen, it looks small or "non-shiny," but I seriously doubt it. It's a great-looking stone. I think you need to discuss with your mother what exactly she doesn't like. Does she think her future daughter-in-law's family will think the diamond isn't good enough in some way?

 

[diamondseeker2006]

The diamond is gorgeous. You did extremely well. If this is your max budget, then all you can do is drop color and clarity to get a larger stone. I would never sacrifice on cut. Do you have any idea what your girlfriend is expecting in terms of size? Is having colorless important to her? If she's expecting a 1 ct stone, this one will be large. If she's expecting 2 cts, it will look small. You need to think about what your girlfriend would love rather than your mother (unless like I said before, she wants to contribute!).

 

[mochiko42]

My guess: it may be combination of several factors. First, many of the diamonds in HK in local shops are cut to different proportions, people here may be used to the diamonds being closer to 60/60, which give off more white flashes (brilliance) or Tolkowsky cuts but your ideal cut diamond is cut for max dispersion (light performance, rainbow colors due to refraction). So maybe she is not used to seeing ideal cut diamonds which perform differently to most diamonds sold in HK (although if she regularly buys hearts on fire diamonds in HK then maybe not!).

Also, I agree with the other posters. Clean the diamond with some dishwashing liquid detergent. Also check the lighting situation in the room.

Finally, not sure if it is a factor here but in my own experience with my mother in HK, she already has skepticism about making such a big purchase online from overseas, so in my case she would already be looking for something negative to worry about! (of course this is only my experience. )

PS, I got my ACA from Whiteflash yesterday, if you want to see some photos taken in natural light in HK yesterday for comparison purposes here is the link https://www.instagram.com/p/BR4Xk2cj8-K/

Good luck!

 

[marcy]

You bought a gorgeous diamond and I am sure it will look fabulous in a ring. I agree with other posters to clean it and check it in multiple lighting. I have a F ACA and it looks very different depending on the lighting.

 

[arkieb1]

Is she advocating that you return it and buy a large I1 stone full of inclusions that is over 2 carats? If so tell her you value quality over size, it's your stone and unless she wants to pay the difference to buy a bigger one the same quality it's your choice.

 

[AprilBaby]

How big does Mom think is big enough???

 

[MissGotRocks]

My guess: it may be combination of several factors. First, many of the diamonds in HK in local shops are cut to different proportions, people here may be used to the diamonds being closer to 60/60, which give off more white flashes (brilliance) or Tolkowsky cuts but your ideal cut diamond is cut for max dispersion (light performance, rainbow colors due to refraction). So maybe she is not used to seeing ideal cut diamonds which perform differently to most diamonds sold in HK (although if she regularly buys hearts on fire diamonds in HK then maybe not!).

Also, I agree with the other posters. Clean the diamond with some dishwashing liquid detergent. Also check the lighting situation in the room.

Finally, not sure if it is a factor here but in my own experience with my mother in HK, she already has skepticism about making such a big purchase online from overseas, so in my case she would already be looking for something negative to worry about! (of course this is only my experience. )

PS, I got my ACA from Whiteflash yesterday, if you want to see some photos taken in natural light in HK yesterday for comparison purposes here is the link https://www.instagram.com/p/BR4Xk2cj8-K/

Good luck!

Not to threadjack but have we seen a SMTB post on your new ring? It looks beautiful - tell us about your new stone please!

 

[MissGotRocks]

To the OP - not sure what it is about the diamond that your mother doesn't like but it is beautiful and you have absolutely nothing to regret about this purchase! I hope your girl loves it as much as we do!!

 

[kayi078]

Also, in looking for a bigger diamond, look at g-h color. (i'd start with H) and VS2.

Here is a 1.694 https://www.whiteflash.com/loose-diamonds/round-cut-loose-diamond-3565128.htm

Thank you for your recommendation.

How bad is it to downgrade from Expert Selection F VS1 to H SI1 ACA cut?

Will H SI1 ACA cut looks white in person? the 1.694 ct is actually cheaper than the one i have now (1.43ct) =[

 

[mochiko42]

Not to threadjack but have we seen a SMTB post on your new ring? It looks beautiful - tell us about your new stone please!

Thanks, MGR! I don't have a SMTB thread on it because it's very similar to my previous ring which was also ACA I VS2. I went from ACA, 1.436ct I VS 2 to ACA, 1.842ct I VS2. Setting is the same design, the Jovyn by CVB.

 

[AprilBaby]

The color wouldn't bother me but be sure it's eye clean enough. That's a nice jump in size!

 

[kayi078]

Will H SI1 ACA cut looks white in person? Im getting really stressed now =[