My fiance is sick of me complaining about my weight !

[blissfulbride]

I just got off the phone with him telling me that he is sick of hearing about my weight, and that he can''t believe how insecure I am. He tells me that I dont have to lose anymore weight. I lost 11 pounds so far, and he is upset that I want to lose 10 more. I was shocked at how he reacted today, because I complain all the time about it, but even more now because of the wedding. I can''t help, but be hard on myself because I want to look the best I can. am I really the only one who thinks about there weight every single day? Its not like im just complaining and not doing anything about it. I''m on a strict diet and I work out !

Dont get me wrong, I know im beautiful. I look in the mirror and am happy with what I see, but I also see more room for improvement.

 

[blissfulbride]

Thank you so much for the kind words, but its easier said then done lol

 

[trillionaire]

Women can complain to about their weight to other women who complain about their weight. No one else really wants to hear it, especially someone who loves you just as you are, wants to marry you and thinks that you are perfect already.

 

[Love2Travel]

Don''t get me wrong, I know I''m beautiful.

Hush up then lol

Based on just looks in your avatar, I''d marry ya

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 9/3/2008 12:59:29 PM
Author:blissfulbride
I just got off the phone with him telling me that he is sick of hearing about my weight, and that he can''t believe how insecure I am. He tells me that I dont have to lose anymore weight. I lost 11 pounds so far, and he is upset that I want to lose 10 more. I was shocked at how he reacted today, because I complain all the time about it, but even more now because of the wedding. I can''t help, but be hard on myself because I want to look the best I can. am I really the only one who thinks about there weight every single day? Its not like im just complaining and not doing anything about it. I''m on a strict diet and I work out !

Dont get me wrong, I know im beautiful. I look in the mirror and am happy with what I see, but I also see more room for improvement.

Ok, are you the only one that thinks about it every day? No.

However, I think a lot of times people get so wrapped up in losing weight that they don''t see how their desire to lose weight is becoming a sickness, borderline eating disorder. Your FI is probably fearing where all of this is headed and I don''t blame him. I saw your progarm and you didn''t look like you needed to lose weight to me. You also have posted about doing some crazy 500 calorie a day diet. I think that your handicap is thinking that you need to lose when you truly don''t. It''s one thing to be unhappy with the way you look or to want to tone up or get healthy. It''s another to completely see yourself as fat when you aren''t.

Now, it could also be that he''s blinded by love and doesn''t see the room for improvement. Maybe to him, you''re perfect. I never tell FI my weight. It''s a secret I keep from everyone but I will say I''m 40lbs over my healthy weight range. When I talk about losing weight my FI would tell me I''m crazy. I would say I''m tired of being fat, and he would sincerely respond that I''m crazy. Maybe your fiance feels the same?

 

[JSM]

IMO, it doesn''t matter if you are obsessed with weight, diamonds, politics, global warming or cars. If you complain about it enough, the person you complain to is going to be sick of it!

So completely disregarding whether or not you need to loose weight, I think I agree with your fiance. Don''t go overboard with anything and you (and he) will be much happier for it!

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 9/3/2008 5:54:10 PM
Author: jsm
IMO, it doesn''t matter if you are obsessed with weight, diamonds, politics, global warming or cars. If you complain about it enough, the person you complain to is going to be sick of it!


So completely disregarding whether or not you need to loose weight, I think I agree with your fiance. Don''t go overboard with anything and you (and he) will be much happier for it!

Agreed. It''s the complaining about it that I am sure is driving him nuts. I am sure he thinks you look fabulous...and when someone complains about something that *seems* so untrue, it sounds like they need to be reassured, which can get annoying in any context if you are constantly reassuring someone.

Think about it this way. What if your FI was constantly complaining to you about how small his package was? And you CONSTANTLY were having to tell him how big it actually is? How annoying would that become??? Just think about it...

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 9/3/2008 5:56:48 PM
Author: neatfreak

Date: 9/3/2008 5:54:10 PM
Author: jsm
IMO, it doesn't matter if you are obsessed with weight, diamonds, politics, global warming or cars. If you complain about it enough, the person you complain to is going to be sick of it!


So completely disregarding whether or not you need to loose weight, I think I agree with your fiance. Don't go overboard with anything and you (and he) will be much happier for it!

Agreed. It's the complaining about it that I am sure is driving him nuts. I am sure he thinks you look fabulous...and when someone complains about something that *seems* so untrue, it sounds like they need to be reassured, which can get annoying in any context if you are constantly reassuring someone.

Think about it this way. What if your FI was constantly complaining to you about how small his package was? And you CONSTANTLY were having to tell him how big it actually is? How annoying would that become??? Just think about it...

Ditto. Neatfreak you last few sentences are too funny

LOL I also think this has to do with the difference women and men communicate sometimes. With our girlfriends it is easier to complain, and men try to solve the problem but I am sure he thinks you look great so to him enough said! You did look great in that bride tv show I saw. Don't be so hard on yourself.

 

[decodelighted]

Somethings just become a HABIT. It''s one thing to ruminate non-stop about how much weight you want to lose -- but its another thing to constantly VOICE that. Or to criticize yourself OUT LOUD.

Think about it ... you''re slamming the woman he loves & implying that she''s less than ideal. Would YOU wanna hear such negative stuff about your FI from *anyone*? Much less *constantly*.

Don''t pollute the air with your unfounded insecurities. Give yourself consequences. If you say anything negative about your weight aloud you have to put a dollar in a jar & HE gets to spend it on a toy of choice. Make yourself accountable. Its the only way to change a habit. Which is what this has become. A negative habit that''s not just hurting your self-esteem. Its hurting your fiance & your relationship.

 

[blissfulbride]

You girls are all so awesome and neatfreak you have a great point and thank you !

I do think I have a problem seeing myself the way I should. My hunny tells me all the time that I dont see what he see. When I tell my friends I want to lose 10 pound they tell me all the time that I dont which I sometimes cant believe. I don''t know how to work on this problem, but its really getting to me and I think about it all the time. I really think it''s gotten worse because of the wedding.

 

[MMT]

You look beautiful. Try to focus on the weight you have already lost. Thats a huge accomplishment.

 

[marcy]

Don''t be hard on yourself. We all want to improve ourselves and it sounds like your FI thinks you are perfect and beautiful just the way you are.

 

[BeachRunner]

Are you the only woman to think about weight daily?? I''ve never heard anyone say that they are completely satisfied with the way they look. I think it''s just human nature to always want the next level, especially when it comes to the way we look. Like a fellow PS''er said previously, don''t dwell on what you HAVE NOT done, but be happy with what you have accomplished. IMO, weight is just a number, and has nothing to do with "how fit" one is. Muscle weighs more than fat of course, so eventually you are going to plateau and start turning fat into muscle which equals weight gain. I think a woman looks amazing with nice toned muscles rather than skin and bone.

Congrats on your 10 pounds ,or lack thereof!