My BM''s horrible birthday surprise...

[meresal]

One of my BM''s is a friend/teammate from college. She and her FF have been dating for 4 years, and other than about 3 months in college it has been long distance, by that I mean they live about an hour and a half apart. However, due to his school and her work, they only see eachother about 1 or 2 weekends a month.

Well, yesterday was her birthday. Her FF came into town on Thrusday, and has been staying at her parents house like he usually does when he comes in. They went to dinner last night with her family, and when I got to her house afterwards they were opening presents. She pulled me into her room and told me that her FF was acting very strange, which I had already noticed because he hadn''t said a word.

Well, to cut to the point. We go to the bar, he still doesn''t talk, and really isn''t being his social self at all. Well, she finally pulled him outside, and demanded she tell him what was wrong... and he gave in.

Earlier that night, he asked her dad for his blessing, and he said, "I''ll think about it."

I felt so bad for her, she couldn''t stop crying the rest of the night. Anyone had to deal with this? When I think back to how bad I wanted to get engaged, I just can''t imagine my dad getting in the way of what makes me happy. I''m just in awe that the whole thing happened, and on her birthday none the less. She is Daddy''s little girl, just like I am, but to put your own personal feelings ahead of your child, I just can''t understand.

Just to clarify, her FF is one of the nicest guys I have ever met, and her family loves him. Her dad has never admitted to liking him, but he has never said anything bad out loud... other than the random sarchastic comments. He''s just one of those hard headed dad''s, if that makes sense. I don''t think any of us thought this was actually how he felt... It''s was just so hard to see.

Thanks for letting me share.

 

[princesss]

Oh, your poor friend! I''d be gutted if I found out my dad had said that.

I have no idea what I''d do, but give your friend an extra big hug from us, okay?

 

[purselover]

I am so sorry for your friend! This should''ve been such a happy occasion to find out a proposals on the way, plus it''s her birthday. If her dad really does have no good reason to say I''ll think about it, that is too mean. Her and her FF are obviously devastated, he shouldn''t put them through that. If I were her I''d would tell my dad FF was asking to be polite and his answer doesn''t really matter.

 

[Kaleigh]

Oh that''s rough. I hope he comes around and gives his blessing. Sounds like your friends FF is a great guy. Maybe her Mom can have a nice chat with her hubby.

 

[ckrickett]

that would break my heart.

I hope her dad realizes it''s what makes HER happy, not what makes HIM happy. Altho if you can please both that''s the best.

 

[honey22]

What an a-hole. If he loved his daughter and wanted her to be happy, surely he could give his blessing. That craps me off, some people just don't get it when other people are happy!

ETA - Sorry, still fuming! If this were my father (bear in mind, my Daddy cried and hugged FI!) I would tell him to jam it, that the only thing he could think about is apologising and hope that we would invite him to the wedding. How incredibly selfish!!

 

[neatfreak]

Ohh geez, that poor girl. I agree with Kaleigh, have her mom give her dad a good talking to and a thwack on the head!

 

[audball]

That''s horrible, how rude seeing as how there is obviously no reason to say that. Give her hugs from PS.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Ouch.

Well, it sounds like Dad is having nothing more than a hard time letting go of his little girl...and thats not unusual for Dad''s I guess. But, it''s still not right for her father to take his "stuff" out on this guy...unless, there is something going on no one knows about...

I hope, for everyones sake, that the Dad''s shock wears off and they can move forward...

 

[MissDimity]

Geez.. i''ve re-read this post now 4 times because I''m still so shocked. Poor guy and that''s so bad for your friend.
I don''t know what to think, other than there may be a practical reason behind her dad''s response, i.e. is she too young?, finishing off a degree/ school?

Feel bad for her partner too, it takes a lot of guts to ask for a blessing in the first place and even so it''s an old courtesy tradition.. he need not have asked for a blessing.

 

[SailorsSweet<3]

maybe he caught her dad off guard? was there talk of them getting engaged - or rumor amongst the family, etc. I feel so bad for her boyfriend, the poor guy seemed shell shocked afterwards from what you described. I hope everything works out for them.

 

[meresal]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and hugs, I passed them along. I wanted to wait until I talked to her, to come back and reply to you all...

I called her a few minutes ago to see how she was doing, and she's Engaged!! It happened about 10 minutes ago, on the way to see The Nutcracker. From what it sounds like her FI really wanted to do it last night when we were all there, but when her dad didn't say yes, he was completely thrown off guard.

I haven't gotten all the info about why her dad did that, but I'll be sure to find out later. I'm not sure if her FI ever got the "ok" from her dad, but she's over the moon right now with excitement, and I'm really happy for her. I have a feeling he wouldn't have done it without his blessing though.

Thanks again everyone!!

 

[purselover]

Date: 12/7/2008 6:56:47 PM
Author: meresal
Thanks everyone for your thoughts and hugs, I passed them along. I wanted to wait until I talked to her, to come back and reply to you all...


I called her a few minutes ago to see how she was doing, and she's Engaged!! It happened about 10 minutes ago, on the way to see The Nutcracker. From what it sounds like her FI really wanted to do it last night when we were all there, but when her dad didn't say yes, he was completely thrown off guard.


I haven't gotten all the info about why her dad did that, but I'll be sure to find out later. I'm not sure if her FI ever got the 'ok' from her dad, but she's over the moon right now with excitement, and I'm really happy for her. I have a feeling he wouldn't have done it without his blessing though.


Thanks again everyone!!

yay I'm so excited for her

please send along our congratulations and well wishes

 

[AprilD]

Thats very exciting that shes engaged! Im glad everything worked out and hopefully everything worked out with her father.

I was thinking about her situation today and how devastating that would be for that to happen, so Im glad that everything seemed to work out!!!!

 

[Tuckins1]

I don''t know how "docile"/"extroverted"/"assertive" your friend is, but if that were me... My dad would have had an earful and then some!!! She should speak to him about it if it''s bothering her.

 

[ckrickett]

Date: 12/7/2008 6:56:47 PM
Author: meresal
Thanks everyone for your thoughts and hugs, I passed them along. I wanted to wait until I talked to her, to come back and reply to you all...

I called her a few minutes ago to see how she was doing, and she''s Engaged!! It happened about 10 minutes ago, on the way to see The Nutcracker. From what it sounds like her FI really wanted to do it last night when we were all there, but when her dad didn''t say yes, he was completely thrown off guard.

I haven''t gotten all the info about why her dad did that, but I''ll be sure to find out later. I''m not sure if her FI ever got the ''ok'' from her dad, but she''s over the moon right now with excitement, and I''m really happy for her. I have a feeling he wouldn''t have done it without his blessing though.

Thanks again everyone!!

Oh that''s terrific!
Congrats for your friend!