must we lie to newbies even if they posted a badly cut stone?

[Dancing Fire]

and what if they paid too much for the stone?

 

[Gypsy]

On RT, and if they have a return policies: Gently tell the truth while suggesting further independant research, sources for that research, or alternative stones. On SMRT telling us how much they love their ring? If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

No lying necessary. Just a little tact.

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 1/7/2009 10:57:11 PM
Author: Gypsy
On RT, and if they have a return policies: Gently tell the truth while suggesting further independant research, sources for that research, or alternative stones. On SMRT telling us how much they love their ring? If you don''t have anything nice to say, don''t say anything at all.

No lying necessary. Just a little tact.

Ditto.

 

[movie zombie]

once the stone is set its too late...and beauty is always in the eye of the beholder.

movie zombie

 

[that_someone_special]

I agree with Gypsy. If I dont like a ring.. as in REALLY don''t like it.. I don''t say anything. I don''t want to rain on their parade. If they are happy with it.. I''m ok with that!

 

[AprilBaby]

No like, no comment.

 

[Munchkin]

In my opinion, it depends on the purpose of their post. If they are simply eager to show off a purchase, I think it is wise to either comment on an aspect of the piece that you do like, or abstain from commenting entirely.

If, however, people are seeking advice i.e. "How Did I Do?" "Is this a good buy?" "Did I get taken?" I think the wise people here can offer kind and helpful advice. It is very possible to offer suggestions or steer a person in a better direction without being rude. Generally, I think the community cut experts here are very good at that. Further, I feel that if people request opinions or advice and the responses (positive or negative) are courteous, a poster is unfounded in reacting negatively. Unfortunately people online often ask for "advice" without realizing that what they are truly seeking is a rewarding pat on the head.

I don't know enough about cut to help anyone and am a lousy poker player, so I avoid rings I find unappealing like the plague! Thus, I am rarely involved in any of the above scenarios.

 

[neatfreak]

I don''t lie if they ask, but if they don''t ask I won''t tell.

 

[MonkeyPie]

I actually haven''t seen many stones that are total rip-offs being posted here. Sure, you see an occasional over-priced one, but not an icky stone. If I don''t have an opinion that is helpful though I keep it to myself.

 

[jewelerman]

gently tell the truth...thats how newbies gain knowledge and power.

 

[musey]

Agreed on don't ask/don't tell and the great divide between SMTR and Rocky Talky.

I don't post if I really dislike the ring, but honestly, that rarely happens. I can almost always see something worth complimenting.

 

[Sabine]

Date: 1/7/2009 11:04:46 PM
Author: Munchkin
In my opinion, it depends on the purpose of their post. If they are simply eager to show off a purchase, I think it is wise to either comment on an aspect of the piece that you do like, or abstain from commenting entirely.


If, however, people are seeking advice i.e. ''How Did I Do?'' ''Is this a good buy?'' ''Did I get taken?'' I think the wise people here can offer kind and helpful advice. It is very possible to offer suggestions or steer a person in a better direction without being rude. Generally, I think the community cut experts here are very good at that. Further, I feel that if people request opinions or advice and the responses (positive or negative) are courteous, a poster is unfounded in reacting negatively. Unfortunately people online often ask for ''advice'' without realizing that what they are truly seeking is a rewarding pat on the head.


I don''t know enough about cut to help anyone and am a lousy poker player, so I avoid rings I find unappealing like the plague! Thus, I am rarely involved in any of the above scenarios.

I agree with this, it all depends on what the point of the post is.

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 1/8/2009 6:44:40 AM
Author: Sabine

Date: 1/7/2009 11:04:46 PM
Author: Munchkin
In my opinion, it depends on the purpose of their post. If they are simply eager to show off a purchase, I think it is wise to either comment on an aspect of the piece that you do like, or abstain from commenting entirely.


If, however, people are seeking advice i.e. 'How Did I Do?' 'Is this a good buy?' 'Did I get taken?' I think the wise people here can offer kind and helpful advice. It is very possible to offer suggestions or steer a person in a better direction without being rude. Generally, I think the community cut experts here are very good at that. Further, I feel that if people request opinions or advice and the responses (positive or negative) are courteous, a poster is unfounded in reacting negatively. Unfortunately people online often ask for 'advice' without realizing that what they are truly seeking is a rewarding pat on the head.


I don't know enough about cut to help anyone and am a lousy poker player, so I avoid rings I find unappealing like the plague! Thus, I am rarely involved in any of the above scenarios.

I agree with this, it all depends on what the point of the post is.

Thritto all of the above. Furthermore there is never any ' lying' involved when an opinion is sought from the veteran RT prosumers, also not everyone is looking for a top cut diamond. There are many levels of cut quality and it depends on what the poster is looking for. If it is a very badly cut diamond then there are ways to tactfully advise on that especially if the poster isn't happy with their purchase, some diamonds however fall into a middle range where they can be decently cut and attractive diamonds but not cut to the strictest standards and sometimes just a nice make of diamond will suit some posters. If the diamond is under consideration for purchase, it isn't a done deal and it is obviously poorly cut, then personally I feel that we best serve the poster in tactfully making them aware of that fact.


But we have to be careful in my opinion, as we don't want RT to become a place where new posters are scared to ask for help if they suspect their potential diamond might not meet ' certain standards.' I believe we need to strive to help anyone regardless of what they are looking for and to find out what they are looking for concerning cut quality and their priorities, then guide them towards meeting their goals as best we can. Also we need to keep in mind that we need to try to stay neutral when advising posters, where we prefer to purchase, or what we might buy or choose to buy might not be the best way for them.

I also think though if a poster makes it clear they want a pat on the head, is happy with their diamond and has no intention of changing it - yet it is a poorly cut diamond, then I don't see the point of piddling in their Cheerios ( to quote an esteemed friend

) to ruin their joy. After all if the diamond is beautiful to them, then that is all that matters.

 

[loriken214]

Date: 1/7/2009 10:57:11 PM
Author: Gypsy
On RT, and if they have a return policies: Gently tell the truth while suggesting further independant research, sources for that research, or alternative stones. On SMRT telling us how much they love their ring? If you don''t have anything nice to say, don''t say anything at all.

No lying necessary. Just a little tact.

AMEN!

Lori

 

[steph72276]

Date: 1/7/2009 10:57:11 PM
Author: Gypsy
On RT, and if they have a return policies: Gently tell the truth while suggesting further independant research, sources for that research, or alternative stones. On SMRT telling us how much they love their ring? If you don''t have anything nice to say, don''t say anything at all.


No lying necessary. Just a little tact.

Well said.

 

[Dancing Fire]

if they ask i tell them the truth.

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 1/7/2009 10:59:33 PM
Author: movie zombie
once the stone is set its too late...and beauty is always in the eye of the beholder.

movie zombie

I agree.

I think that if the person is asking opinions and hasn''t purchased yet, then be honest. If they ask for opinions and mention it isn''t too late to return and they''re open to returning, then be honest.

But if its a "come see what I got" post then either congratulate or don''t say anything at all because at that point it is too late.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

I rarely post on RT, but often I do on SMTR, and I only respond to threads where the ring is pretty. I''ve seen some pretty unsightly rings over the years (lol), not often but possibly about one every week or two! lol

 

[Kelli]

I totally agree with gypsy. If they''re asking because they have a chance to return it, they''ll get polite but honest answers from me. If they post it in SMTR saying "look at my beautiful ring!" that''s a totally different story. Many people don''t care at all about the cut of thier diamonds. If they love it and are never going to look into whether or not it''s the best cut, then they don''t need to hear anything about it. If it genuinely looks pretty I''ll comment and say congrats, if I really think it''s ugly, I won''t post.

 

[tlh]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Some shapes are just more appealing to some women more than others. (Or even UNSIGHTLY bad cut diamonds...) In the same regard, we are all beautiful... some of us may be poorly cut, but we are still beautiful. I think if someone shares a stone that they love- then I try to find something nice about it. They opened themselves up, and who wants to be the meanie to say... "yes you do look fat in those pants."

It is the curtesy we extend to our friends on PS to understand what it is from us they are really seeking. If indeed a friend, wants to know the truth- a simple....hmm pink capris may not be the best look- but perhaps these black flairs will do the trick! You aren't being cold about the honest truth that Pepto Pink doesn't look good on EVERYONE - but you aren't taking it out on her for trying the pink. It is the pants fault... not your booty's. Wink! But about the ring... if they want to know because they are trying to make a better decision... help guide them in nice direction.

IF they are really happy about those pink capris- don't be a meanie pants. Tell them you applaud their daring color choice, it may not be a choice you'd make but wow you love how confident they are to venture out of the black. Just my .02!

 

[Harriet]

If it''s a done deal, there''s no point in saying anything.

 

[Gypsy]

If they say "DF PLEASE TELL ME THE ABSOLUTE TRUTH!" Go ahead.

But if they say they want the truth from anyone who RESPONDS... then don't respond unless .. (refer to my first post).

Date: 1/8/2009 9:30:21 AM
Author: Dancing Fire
if they ask i tell them the truth.

 

[2Artists]

We joined PS to get help with an eBay purchase gone oh so wrong where the person sold us something not even close to what they said it was. Mr.2Artists first posted since I was kinda beside myself at the time. To us it was a lot of money and it was very upsetting at the time, plus no one likes getting ripped off.

Anyways we really needed honest opinions to help us figure out what to do and I am so glad people gave them to us. Everyone was tactful but honest. I am so glad people were willing to be honest and tell us the truth because that is just what we needed.

Sometimes a newbie really needs to know.

Mrs.2Artists

 

[Steel]

Date: 1/7/2009 10:57:11 PM
Author: Gypsy
On RT, and if they have a return policies: Gently tell the truth while suggesting further independant research, sources for that research, or alternative stones. On SMRT telling us how much they love their ring? If you don''t have anything nice to say, don''t say anything at all.

No lying necessary. Just a little tact.

I could not have said it better.

 

[coatimundi_org]

Date: 1/7/2009 11:01:56 PM
Author: AprilBaby
No like, no comment.

Yup.

 

[movie zombie]

i think this is more of a problem in the color stone forum.

movie zombie

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 1/7/2009 10:59:49 PM
Author: swedish bean
I agree with Gypsy. If I dont like a ring.. as in REALLY don''t like it.. I don''t say anything. I don''t want to rain on their parade. If they are happy with it.. I''m ok with that!

Ditto!

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 1/8/2009 1:16:28 PM
Author: Gypsy
If they say ''DF PLEASE TELL ME THE ABSOLUTE TRUTH!'' Go ahead.

But if they say they want the truth from anyone who RESPONDS... then don''t respond unless .. (refer to my first post).

Date: 1/8/2009 9:30:21 AM
Author: Dancing Fire
if they ask i tell them the truth.

i would only comment on the stone NEVER on the setting,b/c everybody has different taste.

 

[geckodani]

Date: 1/8/2009 2:50:16 AM
Author: musey
Agreed on don''t ask/don''t tell and the great divide between SMTR and Rocky Talky.

I don''t post if I really dislike the ring, but honestly, that rarely happens. I can almost always see something worth complimenting.

Ditto!

 

[movie zombie]

Date: 1/8/2009 6:45:06 PM
Author: Dancing Fire
i would only comment on the stone NEVER on the setting,b/c everybody has different taste.

+1.

movie zombie