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Mother of the Groom duties?

Vera W

Shiny_Rock
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Apr 7, 2005
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190

Hello Wonderful PS Community,

My younger son is getting married on Saturday, Nov 7th. They were very fortunate to get to keep their wedding date/ plans. My question is, as the Mother of the Groom, do I have any specific duties? I have never really thought about it but now I am feeling a bit anxious.

I am a Widow of 4 years and I am paying for the Rehearsal dinner. Would you be so kind as to share any input, suggestions, or proper etiquette that you have in mind? I was thinking of doing a sweet toast to the happy couple. It is not a fancy wedding at all, the Groomsman are wearing jeans and white shirts with Camo vests.

When I asked my Son what he thought I should wear, he promptly said, something you will be comfortable in and if you want add a little Camo pattern to it. LOL I had a pantsuit made in brown with a brown lacey top and Camo trim on the jacket. Talk about Redneck!! I don't care as long as it makes my babyboy happy.


Thanks in advance!!

Mighty Blessings to you all.
 

MissGotRocks

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Congratulations to you and your family Vera! I think so many of the old traditions have gone out the window but the groom’s side did traditionally pay for the rehearsal dinner. I think it would be very special for you to propose a toast to your son and his new wife. It sounds like the wedding will be relaxed and fun so just do what seems appropriate to you.
You are a beautiful soul and the clothes you wear will only accent your inner beauty. It is their day and you are right - as long as they are happy that is all that matters!
 

OoohShiny

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Congratulations! :))

Isn't your job as a new Mother-in-Law to act crazy and drive his partner totally mad? ;-) :lol: lol

There are books out there that say how a wedding 'should' apparently run, but as above, do what you want and will make you all happy - I'm sure your family will be proud of whatever you do :))
 

FL_runner

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You’re hosting the rehearsal dinner, which is the traditional gesture from the parents of the groom, and is very generous. I agree that giving a toast would be lovely, and if there’s dancing maybe a mother-son dance? Otherwise just ask if there’s anything they need and have fun!
 

Dancing Fire

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My question is, as the Mother of the Groom, do I have any specific duties?
Yes, give your son a big discount on a ACA, and according to old Chinese tradition you must pick up all the wedding bills... :bigsmile:

Vera, Congrats to you and your family. :clap:
 

tyty333

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Just wanted to say, Congratulations to you and your family Vera! I'm no help as far as Mother of the Groom. My eldest is 27 and
still single...but may be getting close???
 

marymm

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Generally speaking, in addition to hosting/paying for the rehearsal dinner, traditionally the groom's parents have often paid for:

- the marriage license fee
- officiant fee
- bridal bouquet, boutonnierres, corsages
- contribute towards the alcohol at reception (if applicable)

Often the bridge and groom have their parents join them in the receiving line at the reception (if there is one).

Often there is a Mother-Groom dance at the reception.

All that said, it really depends on your own family traditions, the bride's family traditions, the choices of your son and his fiance, budgets, and your own sense of what is appropriate - hopefully you all have had discussions about expectations and contributions and participation at what I am sure will be a joyful marriage and reception.
 

missy

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There are no rules anymore as I see it. Do what your heart wants to do. And many congratulations to the happy couple and to you @Vera W. Mazel Tov.

FYI some things one shouldn't do. But you wouldn't do any of these Vera.

So nice to have something happy to celebrate now. Enjoy and have a wonderful joyous time. :appl:
 

Bonfire

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Congratulations Vera! What a special time in your life. I love your ensemble idea!
Hosting a rehearsal dinner is *traditional* for the groom’s side as you already are planning. I think it will be lovely and beautiful to make a toast to the lucky couple. As far as some of the other traditional contributions, I would talk to the couple about their expectations. Enjoy this happy time!
 

yssie

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Vera so many CONGRATULATIONS to your expanding family!!

You will be stunning in your outfut - please share photos!! :love: :appl:
 

Calliecake

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Congratulations Vera! Have a wonderful time at the wedding. Enjoy this happy time in your life. This is life’s good stuff. Have fun Vera.

Please tell your daughter in law to take moments during the day and soak it all in.
 

kgizo

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Congratulations to you and your son! So glad they could keep their wedding plans during these chaotic times. Love the idea of your pantsuit, it sounds fun, comfortable and totally appropriate.
This can be a touchy subject, but perhaps check in with your son to see if he would like to include his father’s memory somehow. It could be a candle ceremony, mention on the program, or wearing a watch/tie/etc that reminds him of his father.
 

yennyfire

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Congrats to you and your son Vera! A happy occasion is just what we need in 2020! Your outfit sounds perfect and the wedding sounds like it will be a lot of fun!
 

Vera W

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@MissGotRocks @OoohShiny @FL_runner @Dancing Fire @tyty333 @marymm @missy @Bonfire @yssie @Calliecake @kgizo @123ducklings @yennyfire

Howdy y'all!! Thank you SO Much for your kind reply, input, and congratulatory messages. It is for sure something to be happy about for 2020! I forgot about a Mother /Groom dance, will have to ask the son about it. He is planning on having a special table in memory of Big Daddy and the Bride's Grandfather. He asked me for a good picture of Bobby so I pulled out the big one from the memorial service we had. It is perfect!! I do have something special from WF but can't say until after the ceremony. It is a big surprise. Hee Hee. Tomorrow I pick up my outfit, I am super excited. For sure I will post some pictures, probably that Sunday. Thank you for sharing in our joy. Now just gotta get the older son engaged to his gal and both will be off my hands for sure. LOL Have a great day you wonderful peeps.
 

Bayek

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our son was married in 17 and we hosted the dinner (amongst OTHER things we paid for) we didn't toast him or maybe my husband did, it was a loud, huge affair at a barbecue restaurant in Dripping Springs TX.. enjoy yourself, he sounds like a great son!
 

lyra

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I'm MOB postponed to next year. You are so kind. Our MOG isn't doing anything at all in any way. At least we know where we stand I guess. My MIL and FIL were very generous to us for our wedding.
 

Snowdrop13

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Good luck for Saturday! I also have 2 sons (still teens, though), and I’ve often thought what a shame it is that no one gets up to make a speech about how wonderful the groom is! I think if my 2 ever get married I’m going to insist on being allowed to speak! I also hope they don’t have fancy weddings, this one sounds perfect. We‘ll be expecting pictures..........
 

luv2sparkle

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Can't wait to see your pics, Vera! Congratulations, and I am sure it will be a lovely day! Many blessing to the happy couple. Please come back with all the details.
 

AprilBaby

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Best wishes! I’ve been mother of the groom 3 times. Relax and enjoy the day! Don’t forget the dance with your son. We did a rehearsal dinner, paid for flowers, minister and church. Wonderful day each one!
 

kipari

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@MissGotRocks @OoohShiny @FL_runner @Dancing Fire @tyty333 @marymm @missy @Bonfire @yssie @Calliecake @kgizo @123ducklings @yennyfire

Howdy y'all!! Thank you SO Much for your kind reply, input, and congratulatory messages. It is for sure something to be happy about for 2020! I forgot about a Mother /Groom dance, will have to ask the son about it. He is planning on having a special table in memory of Big Daddy and the Bride's Grandfather. He asked me for a good picture of Bobby so I pulled out the big one from the memorial service we had. It is perfect!! I do have something special from WF but can't say until after the ceremony. It is a big surprise. Hee Hee. Tomorrow I pick up my outfit, I am super excited. For sure I will post some pictures, probably that Sunday. Thank you for sharing in our joy. Now just gotta get the older son engaged to his gal and both will be off my hands for sure. LOL Have a great day you wonderful peeps.
Congratulations to your son and to you! Your dil is a lucky gal to marry your son and to have such a warm hearted and wonderful mother in law!!



I'll be watching this space! I'm sure you'll look wonderful!!
 

missy

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Congratulations to your son and to you! Your dil is a lucky gal to marry your son and to have such a warm hearted and wonderful mother in law!!



I'll be watching this space! I'm sure you'll look wonderful!!
Yes! Ditto! Such a lucky young lady to be marrying into your family @Vera W! All the best to your son and his wife and all of your family! I cannot wait to see your photos. :love:
 
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