Who Mikesgirl

[Mikesgirl]

I''ve enjoyed reading everyone''s who''s who and figured I ought to take a few minutes to tell you who I am. I don''t want to start at the beginning, being 48 years old, or this could take hours, but the basics are that I am the second of 4 kids (3 girls and 1 boy) raised in a traditional middle class family in central New Jersey on the shore, the Rumson Penninsula for those of you who know Jersey. Totally idyllic lifestyle, with no hint of trouble until I was out of high school.
I was premed at the University of Rochester and, at the age of 18 (1973), convinced I knew exactly how the world worked and how to make it my own little oyster. Raised a baptist, I had made a decision at the age of 16 to convert to Judaism and became very actively involved with the Hillel (Jewish Youth on Campus) where I met my first husband, an orthodox jew. He went to law school in Washington DC, I dropped out and followed, we got married, you get the picture.
Fast forward to 1989 - two adopted children (aged 10 and 6)and a house in the suburbs, hubby is a workaholic (my son once asked if Daddy was coming home to visit this weekend). I''m a fulltime homemaker, hubby has a midlife crisis. He quits his job. He puts all the money in his name. He buys a townhouse, takes the kids and says goodbye. Goodbye little oyster. $150,000 in lawyers bills and a custody battle later I am no longer distressed but relieved that he is gone. I went back to school and finished a degree in architecture.
1993 - I met my engineer husband with the help of computers (like several others, I see), and he was also the first one I met through the service. It was like deja vu when Canadagrrl shared her internet dating story. I feel exactly the same - he is truly the best friend I have ever had and a wonderful sane, stabilizing force in my life. Though he must be a little unbalanced to take on a divorcee five years his senior with two children. Gotta love him.
With the help of modern medicine we have a beautiful 7 year old daughter (born in 1995) and G-d had fun with us where she is concerned. You see, I am Jewish, Michael is Methodist and we had some debate over how to raise children before she came into being. We agreed that, if it was a girl, she would be raised Jewish. She was conceived through In Vitro Fertilization on April Fool''s Day, the positive pregnancy test was on Easter weekend/Passover and she was born on the last day of Hanukkah/Christmas Eve. If ever there was a message that how you connect with G-d is unimportant as long as you do connect with G-d, she is it. In 2003 my older daughter gave me my first grandchild and he is a blessing too.
So life comes full circle, and after realizing that practicing Architecture would require that I become the workaholic, I decided to spend a couple of years backtracking to medicine, but this time as a nurse. I will be finishing my second degree in May, and will be working as a Neonatal Intensive Care Nurse when I graduate.
Losing my engagement ring, a traumatic experience at the time, led me to Pricescope and all of you wonderful people. I really enjoy visiting this site each night and reading about you all. It''s great reliving the joy of becoming engaged and beginning a new life with all of the hopes and plans you have. It''s also nice having peers like Fire & Ice, Richard and others. I''m so glad to be part of this forum.

 

[Colored Gemstone Nut]

Marty,




That is a very inspiring passage...Your sense of direction and sincerity show throughout your writing and sharing your experiences..

 

[Hest88]

Marty, thank you for the wonderful story. We're glad to have you!

 

[winyan]

Hiya Marty!




I know Rumson *grin* ... have a cousin in law w/house in Monmouth Beach, right on Ocean Ave. Great story, especially about the in vitro, I wish I had been a bit younger when that became an option, but I wasn't.




I probably would have to have gone surrogate anyway. Ah well. Anyway, it's nice to 'meet' you!




win

 

[Mikesgirl]

Thanks for the nice feedback, you guys. I do feel welcome here.

So Win, you have family in New Jersey - I actually grew up in Fair Haven. We went to the regional High School so we "rubbed elbows", so to speak, with the Rumsonites. My parents came from working class backgrounds, so they worked hard at keeping us grounded - carefully differentiating between want and need.
When people ask what it's like to live there, I like to tell a story about one of my younger sister's friends from Rumson. She said one afternoon she overheard his father say to him in frustration "Son, if you don't want me to know you're drinking so much Coke, stop leaving the cans all over the tennis court. And if the pool isn't clean before dinner, you can't have the Continental this evening." Kind of blows my mind when I think back. I never learned to play tennis and the family station wagon was shared by all drivers in my family.
I've read your comments and replies to threads with interest because my middle child is part Native American. She identifies very strongly and I struggle sometimes with how to be supportive and sensitive to her. It seems sad, somehow, that you didn't have the opportunity to pass your Lakota heritage on genetically. I know IVF was just in time for me, and people just a year or two older weren't so blessed. Still, I'm sure you share it with many people and will keep it alive in other ways.

The broad range of people, ages and backgrounds here make this forum even more interesting - especially with the Who's Who thread filling in the gap.