Matron AND Maid of Honor?

[maple2012]

Hi Ladies!!

I have decided to ask four of my friends to be with me at my side during my wedding. My best friend was asked yesterday... and she said YES! My cousin and childhood friend was asked today... and she said YES! I just have one friend left to ask and also my sister in law.

Thing is... I need to decide whom I will ask to be my maid of honor. I wanted to ask my best friend whom I've known for 8 years (she's the one i asked yesterday to be a bridesmaid)... but I've known my sister in law since for 12 years. My sister in law, just because of her role in my family, will also be involved with my dress shopping etc. She's really the only "sister" I've ever known.

I feel like I really should ask my sister in law to be my maid of honor because of history and family... and because she'll likely be involved regardless in planning. BUT my best friend is my BFF! And I love her too. What would you do?

A friend at work suggested I make my SIL my matron of honor and my good friend my maid of honor. I didn't have this planned and I worried this might offend one or the other. What would you do?


Maple

 

[gatorblue]

I asked both my step-sister and my BFF to be my matrons of honor, as they're both married. I'm guessing your best friend is not married - so I think it'd be perfect to call one "maid of honor" and the other "matron of honor" -- with them both having the same role. In the same vein, there's nothing wrong with choosing one over the other - I am sure they will both be honored just to stand with you as you marry your love. Do what you think is right and what makes you most comfortable.
Congrats on choosing your bridal party!! So exciting!

 

[msop04]

Since you only have four BM's, I would just pick one. However, if you want two, go for it -- this is your show!! Do exactly what would make you happiest!

 

[audball]

I think you should go with your gut. It sounds like you want your BFF to be the MOH, but you're feeling like you should ask your SIL. Don't do it. Most who have asked people to stand in roles for the sake of feeling obligated to usually regret it. Ask your BFF, have SIL stand 2nd, and let it be!

If you want them both to do it, I think that's an okay solution too -- but don't choose your SIL over your BFF, it sounds like you don't want to and your BFF would probably be hurt.

 

[blingyjules]

I think you should do what you WANT to do not what you feel you SHOULD do. It's your day. You get to pick whoever you like as bridesmaid. I dont think it should be based on who you have known the longest or who happened to marry into the family. For me personally I would go with my bff as maid of honour and have sis-in-law as the next in line. but if you want both, have both.

If you do decide to go with a matron and a maid of honour you might just have to clarify who is doing what tasks. Do they both give speeches? Which one organises the hens night? both? if so, would they get along and have similar ideas to do that or would they clash if they both have totally different ideas?

 

[pandabee]

One of my friend's wedding that I attended, she has two sisters and one is married so made one Maid of Honor and one Matron of Honor. She had 4 BM total as well. I say, it's your wedding you should do what you want to!!

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

I had both a maid and matron of honor and it was perfect! I had 7 bridesmaids total and I loved having my closest girls doing the planning of events and such. Plus, having two takes the pressure off the one girl who would have to be in charge of everything herself.