Marriage Agreement?

[Amzizzle]

I''m not an LIW anymore,but I still love hanging around this forum...so here is what I just heard.

My DF''s sister had been dating this guy for a couple years,he is 24 years old and she is 30 years old (I''m 24 two,so don''t think

I''m judging ages I''m just trying to set the scene.) She has been on the baby and marriage track since I met her 5 years ago,it''s

all she wants and I get the feeling there is a lot of pressure involved in that.When I first met the boyfriend he said he didn''t

have his cell with him because he lost it drunk at a party and apparently this had happened a few times that year...So they have a

couple major breakups and then eventually move to Colorado together.What I just found out though is that she said to him "If we

live together in Colorado for a year,then we get married". So we all just visited them for a bit in Colorado and they were

fighting like cats and dogs,not just in private but in front of us

so after the trip we found out they were over,I guess

my concern was that she put this marriage agreement pressure on him.He obviously to me and everyone else who met him came off as

pretty immature,but she expected him to just POP! be ready for marriage?

What do you think about this? Would you do this? It seems different from just setting a timeline,but more like a deadline if that makes sense.

 

[FutureMrsMRS]

Sounds like my sister. At 30 (with 3 kids) she set her sights on a 25 year old irresponsible guy. Not a bad guy per se, but definitely not husband/father material.

She moved him in a few months later, and proceeded to take care of him. The next year they moved away and she "demanded" marriage. Then he cheated & fathered 2 kids (they''re 4 days apart). She then proceeded to try to get pregnant, which I love my handsome, mischievous 2 year old nephew!

But of course, the marriage didn''t work...it was a sham from the beginning.

It NEVER works to force someone into a position they''re not ready for. They may sit still temporarily but eventually its going to blow up.

 

[Indylady]

What do I think? It sounds awful.

Would I do this? I hope not.

If they had been dating for a few years, I see nothing wrong with her wanting to be married. Isn''t that what most of us LIW want? To be married? Of course we want to be married to the right guy, one we don''t have have to pressure to marry us. Its really unfortunate they were in totally different places and that she didn''t see it sooner. Lots of healing dust for those two!

 

[lilyfoot]

Date: 4/27/2010 2:22:04 PM
Author: IndyLady
What do I think? It sounds awful.

Would I do this? I hope not.

If they had been dating for a few years, I see nothing wrong with her wanting to be married. Isn''t that what most of us LIW want? To be married? Of course we want to be married to the right guy, one we don''t have have to pressure to marry us. Its really unfortunate they were in totally different places and that she didn''t see it sooner. Lots of healing dust for those two!

I agree with everything in this post! (except I''m not a LIW anymore ..

)

 

[PumpkinPie]

Date: 4/27/2010 7:52:10 PM
Author: lilyfoot

Date: 4/27/2010 2:22:04 PM

Author: IndyLady

What do I think? It sounds awful.


Would I do this? I hope not.


If they had been dating for a few years, I see nothing wrong with her wanting to be married. Isn''t that what most of us LIW want? To be married? Of course we want to be married to the right guy, one we don''t have have to pressure to marry us. Its really unfortunate they were in totally different places and that she didn''t see it sooner. Lots of healing dust for those two!

I agree with everything in this post! (except I''m not a LIW anymore ..

)

ditto! It sounds tragic in every way

 

[Amzizzle]

I know when I was an LIW I really wanted to get married as well.I didn''t mean to make it sound like she''s asking for to much.I just

think it was painfully obvious he wasn''t the guy,and he wasn''t going to magically be ready for marriage in a year.I just hate that

her want for children has made her just go a bit crazy for the moment.I love her,and think she is beautiful with a wonderful

personality,but from what I''ve heard from her family at this point she is willing to take anyone to have children.She''s only just

turned 30.I don''t know why it has to be like this ticking clock inside her.

 

[CatLady]

Sounds like she is better off.

 

[nkarma]

I am not sure it's the deadline that ruined them...it's her choice in men based on her life goals. I have met many girls like her. I have learned there is no way of getting them to understand that they pick the wrong guys.

I do however understand that if you are both moving to a different place and not engaged, there should be a very serious discussion about your future. To move to a different city with your SO and then not get married eventually if that is what you want would be very bad.