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Who Mara...

Mara

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 30, 2002
Messages
31,003
Hmm I didn't even know this forum had been created, I am so out of the loop.




Well lets see..I hate things like this, I feel like we are going around the room in class taking our turn to talk about what we did this summer...hee hee. I may ramble a bit but here's the jist of who I am and how I came to be....




I'm a born-and-raised Northern California girl who just turned 29 two weeks ago. Never lived anywhere else other than about 10 miles from my parents...boy do I live a sheltered life. I am half Mexican and half Persian...my father left us when I was 1 years old so my mom raised me all by herself. I was a rambunctious and hyper child, my poor mother was never allowed to rest while I was around. My childhood antics consisted of things like feeding my mom's plant some milk in order to help it grow...and asking random men in the supermarket if they were my father to the red-cheeked embarassment of my mother. Of course I don't recall ANY of this!
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All I remember is that I had alot of love from my mom and grandmother and they were my two most favorite people in my little world. My mom worked two jobs to support us and ypay the mortgage on our first home, she was 25 when she had me...surprise!! I've always been so proud that she was able to make things work, working in the day as a teacher on a very modest salary and in the evenings at the local hospital. My grandmother helped raise me, staying with me in the evenings as my mom used to work. What I remember about these times is that I would get to eat HungryMan's TV dinners when my mom went to her second job. It was something I looked forward to. Oh and getting to watch all sorts of fun TV with grandma, who let me do whatever I want basically since I was her 'little girl'.
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I was a handful as a child and even into older years. I recall when my mom first introduced me to my future stepfather at age 8...he had setup this whole elaborate thing with my favorite ice cream and a cool game for us all to play...and made us homemade spaghetti. I was a true brat...saying I didn't like ice cream or the spaghetti and pouting the entire evening because I felt as though he was stealing my mother away from me. I am still to this day SHOCKED that he even wanted to see my mother after that, much less marry her and commit to a lifetime of having to deal with me.
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And I continued to be a pain in his ass for many years....of course now we joke about it all, but I really put him through his paces way back when! I have always been spoiled (first by grandma..then by stepdad) and to this day Greg jokingly curses my stepdad for making me so demanding...I think he calls it 'high-maintenance'. He always threatens to 'have a talk with' my dad but somehow that never seems to happen.
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Got through the awkward early teenage years...went to high school and college (closeby to family!), and then went into a career of Marketing. It had always intrigued me and I figured I'd see what it was all about. Six years later, I've run the gamut in types of marketing...from database marketing to direct marketing to brand marketing to online marketing which is where I am right now. When I was in college I worked a bunch of temp jobs as an admin to pay my bills and tuition....so I worked at Cisco back when they only had 2 dinky buildings (now they have about 30!)...worked for Oracle, Adobe and Intuit for a while. Since then I have worked for Palm in eCommerce and continued along in that same vein...am currently working in eCommerce/Internet Marketing for a large consumer hardware company. I always joke about if I had bought stock way back when in the companies I worked for while in college..I'd be rich now. Oh well..20/20 hindsight.




Met my fiance Greg about 3.5 years ago...was just getting out of a serious 3 year relationship and was looking to have some big fun!! Dated a few frogs, then along comes Prince Charming...but wait..I wasn't ready for PC yet!! We met through mutual friends...and we were both intrigued....but didn't really do anything about it at the time. There was alot of miscommunication (e.g. he has a girlfriend...oh no wait he doesn't) and we joke that it's a miracle that we even managed to get together to go out at all through our friends being uninformed! I fought against being serious for a little bit...just wanted to keep things simple and have a good time esp after my 3 year relationship/jail-time...but eventually his persistence won me over and now we are engaged. Well of course there was alot of stuff that happened between then and now...but that's the jist of it.






Some of the things I love about Greg are related to the fact that he is not from around here...so he's very different from anyone I know. His job does not define him...nowhere close. He is incredibly intelligent, got his MBA in one year from the top MBA school--Kellogg...works in an office during the day wearing SUITS (unheard of here in the Bayarea)...and then on the weekends is in his grubby gear playing around with our cars--taking them apart and putting them back together. In his *other* spare time he takes bio-technology classes (straight A student) because he is thinking of switching careers at some point...and plays the tuba, saxaphone and trombone in about 4 symphonies around the Bayarea. When do I get to see him you ask? I don't know!!!




While looking for the engagement ring, found Pricescope and all the great people here. Learned alot about diamonds and then became OBSESSED. Greg finally had to take the reins and say ..'woaah...I'm buying you THIS stone..end of story'. So that's the stone I wear quite happily. We had our setting custom made and we love it. He'll be getting a superideal cut H&A stone for a tension set titanium ring for the wedding next year...can't wait to start working on that. So even though we purchased our stone last November (a year ago!), I stick around on Pricescope to help others and basically because once you are obsessed with diamonds, you can't go back. Plus it's so much fun to see what everyone else is buying and how I can help them out. For every person who doesn't shop at the maul who finds Pricescope...I feel the warm fuzzies inside. /idealbb/images/smilies/rodent.gif




We are getting married in Hawaii next May which most of you already know, and are also in the midst of buying a brand-new townhouse which we will move into next January. We are so excited...we will finally have a place to call our own and lots of room! A new house and a new marriage all in 2004....it promises to be a HUGE year for us. Almost all of my birthday wishes this year had to do with 2004 and happiness. Hopefully they all come true.
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Oh and here is a picture of Greg and I in Lake Tahoe this last 4th of July....quality is much better in person...and Greg looks a little pink from the sun...hee hee.
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Ever seen pics of Clint Eastwood's wife? Her name is Dina Ruiz, and you're a younger version. I envy your dark exotic looks - we could be polar opposites.
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Great story, too. Sounds like you have a terrific family.
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Interesting Mara. Your cup is always 1/2 full.

BTW, when I saw your pic on the other thread (engagement party pic), I nearly fell out of my chair. I know *exactly* what you will look like at 40. I have a dear friend (I am older) that I met when she was 29. She turned 40 this year. You are the spitting image of her. And, from your posts at PS, you and she are quite alike. And, she still looks great.
 
Oooh F&I ...sounds promising. I always wanted to look good at 40. I am sure Greg will be happy to hear that I will look good at 40 as well...hehe.




CG...while most of the time I like being dark and exotic (I hear that often!) looking..sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be a wholesome American blonde with straight long hair. Hmm... but then I wouldn't have Greg...because he ditched his history of dating short blonde girls to hook up with what he calls 'a tall, dark hottie'...which is what he says he has always dreamed of...hahaha. Oh and when I first met him...he told me that he had always told his friends that he'd end up with a tall, strong girl who could 'throw him across the room' when he was bad. Funny..when I met his friends..they told me the same thing!
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It was nice reading about your history Mara.
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As for looking like others. I was in Starbucks yesterday and the woman helping me asks "Do you know who Punky Brewster is?" I respond with "yup, I grew up in the 80's." She then announces VERY loudly "Well, you look just like Punky Brewster! Has anyone ever said that you look EXACTLY like Punky Brewster?" I let her know that yes, I have been told I have, but it's been a few years.

When my latte' was ready she screams "Hey Punky, your latte' is ready!" While it is flattering that she thinks I resemble Punky Brewster, it is a bit embarassing to be referred to as "Punky" when one is almost 40 years old!

I think I am going to have to find another Starbucks...
 
Dear Mara:
Very nice story and heritage! How could anyone have genes more directed to discerning art and beauty than Mexico and things Persian (Islamic art and jewelry are fantastic)?

But, my real questions is this: you said your man provided some "guidance" on what stone you ended up with....OK, what did you *really* want??! Be honest, now...

Goldenringlets
 
Wonderful bio, Mara. You and your sweetie are a gorgeous couple!
 
GoldenRinglets...well let me clarify...we had been looking for about a month and I had been on Pscope hanging out like a little squishy sponge, absorbing everything that the experts had to tell me for about a month and a half. I was saturated and going quite mad with all the knowledge I had gathered in such a short time (note to future seekers, give yourself at least 3 months!)...plus I was getting itchy to have a stone on my hot little finger. Every night my better half had to listen to what I'd learned and his eyes would slowly glaze over and sometimes he'd pass out. No just kidding...but anyway...you get the jist. He was ready to be DONE.




We were looking at some stones online seriously through DCD but they couldn't get me a picture of the actual stone and it was an SI1 so I was uncomfortable with us buying it and not knowing if it was eye-clean. We called our local jeweler and told him what we were doing, and gave him the opp (if he wanted it...he could have said no!) to match the internet pricing for what we were looking at and see what he said. He said yes...and brought in two stones. We went into Aptos to look at them...and since my better half felt more comfortable with seeing a stone in person than shopping online (and at that point I guess I did too though that has now hugely changed!), and since I had run both the #'s through the HCA and they had both scored under 2.0 (at the time...my stone now scores a 2.8 due to changes made by Garry), at some point during a workday while I was seeking more advice on the stones....he said..'Enough is enough, we both really like stone X right? (me in small voice..'yes')...Well I'm getting it. I'm calling them right now and getting it. Okay?' I of course had a mini freakout
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and then finally agreed. So he did it!





20/20 hindsight...we were not ready to buy the stone yet; I hadn't really done all the research though at the time it seemed like alot. There is just so much to know about buying a stone if you want to do it the right way (or just listen to the advice from those of us who have been around and done it all!) . I really love my stone, and he does too..so much in fact that he has made me promise that while in the future he will happily get me a new larger stone and other baubles, he wants me to keep this original stone because of what it represents...but in the end I realize that we had only begun to tap into the beauty of what Pscope is all about. I didn't ask people for help on Pscope on what to look at. What I should have done is come on here, said here is our budget, here's what I want...help! Like so many people do now. But at that time...not many people seemed to be doing that..and I was just posting asking specific questions, not really asking for general advice on where to go, what to look for. So I felt kind of on my own.




We could have used a few more months of research and I probably would have ended with something from GOG or SuperbCert or WF or NiceIce ..a H&A...something like an I color and SI1 clarity and it would have been more like 1.75c. But oh well!! We made the best decision we could at the time--and because we didn't go NUTS on the stone $$...we had our band custom made which was pricey and probably wouldn't have happened with a bigger stone--and in the end we both adore my ring. He likes to wear it too.
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Plus to be honest...while I wish my stone was bigger (!) and sometimes wish it was H&A...I really do love the uniqueness of it. It's a shallow stone and it looks different, very white brilliant. So I guess it worked out the way it was supposed to.





As Kayla says in her sig..there's always something bigger or better..you just gotta be happy with what you have (for now)...hee hee. So that's the story...my better half was just trying to save what was left of my sanity by making the executive decision and I'm happy he did!
 
Hi Mara,
I think you and Greg make a great couple. When you guys have kids, they are going to be beautiful!!! How tall are you?
You are so right about the eyes glazing over thing. When I first started looking, my husband wouldn't pay attention. It finally got to the point where I picked out the stone and setting. The one thing he actually did pick out was the anniversary band, but it didn't involve picking out the diamonds, etc.
I guess it's better that way. In the end, I got what I wanted. If I had left it up to him, he would have gone to a maul store and picked out something really gaudy.
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That's why I think it's so great that we have so many men on DT shopping for their significant others. I wish my husband was like that, but he's not and probably won't change.
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Oh well.
How are the wedding plans coming along? May 2004 right? Have you started looking into a wedding band for yourself?
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Mara, what a beauty you are! It's nice to see someone so sweet, articulate & smart with looks to match.
 
We are waffling on the wedding band for me...because it will be like my e-ring, eternity style...essentially my e-ring but without the center stone
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However, it's pricey and we are going to be a few months into the new house come the wedding day so I don't know if we can spring for the wedding band that matches my ring at that point in time.





Greg thinks that we should just get me a plain plat wed ring for the wedding and then next fall when things have settled down a bit from the house/move/wedding then we can have the real wedding ring commissioned. While I am fine with this in principle, and I am not a sentimental person by any means...part of me is kind of sad that we will get married with a plain plat band that I won't wear again after fall. Seems like the rings we exchange during the ceremony are the ones that really mean something. Not the one that is made after to match. But then I do want the one to match my e-ring at all? (yes) So do I get the plain plat band..get married with it...get my other band commissioned and then wear all 3 rings? How will that look? I don't know if I am a three ring person. Or should we just spring for the expensive diamond band and just eat potatoes for a few months, hehehe. Or should I have the plat wed band melted down and use the plat to commission the new diamond ring (is this even feasible?).




He also said that I could forgo getting him his tension but I said no way! I don't mind springing for that up front and in fact, want to...because I know it would make him really happy. Plus again..the whole wedding ring thing...should be the one you keep and I really want him to have an awesome ring.




So who knows what we are going to do about my ring..but he is definitely getting his band and diamond!
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Thanks for all the lovely thoughts, guys!!
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You mean you think I'm not just 'another pretty face'? To use some famous PScope words...hehee...
 
You're so darn REAL, Mara!

I envy you this period in your life. Linda and I had such a blast in those years.

Not that it's dull and boring now, but there's just something magical about that period.

Live it with gusto!
 
Scary real or good real, Rich?
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Gusto requires energy which requires more sleep than the two of us get right about now...hee hee. I reserve all my gusto for my kickboxing classes so that I can fit into my wedding dress next year!
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Ewwww Mara! What a beauty you are!
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No stalker here. Just an envious old broad fondly remembering that magical period in my life as well!
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Life was great and all was well with the world!
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Don't even give a second thought to being a blonde! Enjoy being your gorgeous self. "Blondes" tend to sunburn and us Red Heads just flat out FRY!
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You're so lively, Mara. You remind me of one of my best friends.
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-----Seems like the rings we exchange during the ceremony are the ones that really mean something. Not the one that is made after to match. But then I do want the one to match my e-ring at all? (yes) So do I get the plain plat band..get married with it...get my other band commissioned and then wear all 3 rings? How will that look? I don't know if I am a three ring person. ----------------


There is a Romanian custon which might help: according to it I'd have to get the metal in my wedding 'gear' from my family's jewelry. Would you consider persuading the jeweler who will make your definitive band to use the material of the one that went through the wedding with you? Ok, this might be a bit too exotic... but could not help jotting it down. Best of Luck!
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Best of Everything !
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Ok: 'Best of Diamonds to you too!
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Mara, I'd personally go the "eat potato" route so that I have my *real* w-ring to exchange during the ceremony. There's no ring in my possession more important than my w-ring--even my more expensive e-ring. The fact that is was the ring that was blessed and slipped on my finger during the ceremony imbues it with a symbolism that an "after the fact" ring wouldn't really have for me.
 
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On 11/10/2003 11:27:19 AM Hest88 wrote:

Mara, I'd personally go the 'eat potato' route so that I have my *real* w-ring to exchange during the ceremony. There's no ring in my possession more important than my w-ring--even my more expensive e-ring. The fact that is was the ring that was blessed and slipped on my finger during the ceremony imbues it with a symbolism that an 'after the fact' ring wouldn't really have for me.----------------


I'm with Hest on this one. Kraft Macaroni & cheese is cheap & filling. Skip a haircut. Skip the Starbucks. Little things can add up to one big thing w/o sacrificing too much. Good luck. Maybe you should do a poll. Mara's diamond wedding ring two thumbs up here.
 
Make it three thumbs; I know you're not horribly sentimental about the e-ring, but the wedding ring is given when you pledge your commitment in front of everyone.




Melting down a temp ring would be an okay secondary solution, but I just don't see this as a substitute. I'd rather go without something else and make sure I had the w-ring up front.
 
Mara, 4 thumbs, definitely! Don't you have a bit of a slush fund? Can you sell a no-longer-beloved peice of jewelry on Ebay? That's what I do occasionally, and it does work. Hmmm, how about that Christmas bonus that you are going to be getting? I'll bet you forgot about that!
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Mara,

You truely are a unique and fabulous person. Congrats on the engagement and landing the man of your dreams. I am extremely jealous of your fabulous bone structure...sigh,,being unblonde is cool Mara,,blondes like myself get tired of the old stereotypes after all these years. Still hard for most people to believe that yes, blondes actually do come with a brain! LOL!
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Now, as far as the wedding ring goes. I personally had just a small gold ring made for my first wedding, but rarely wore it because my original e-ring was a wide setting. This time around with the wedding vow renewal I used the new ring as the one I exchanged since I have yet to decide if I could fit a matching band on my finger. A suggestion to you on your dilema,,,,why not use your e-ring at the wedding, but to make it more "special" have fiance take it the week before wedding and have a special something engraved on the inside,,,that way it is something "new" again. Just a thought. Good luck!
 
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On 11/10/2003 5:17:56 PM daboyzmomi wrote:

Mara,

why not use your e-ring at the wedding, but to make it more 'special' have fiance take it the week before wedding and have a special something engraved on the inside,,,that way it is something 'new' again. Just a thought. Good luck!----------------


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Greg will be drawing back a numb if he tries to take that ring off Mara's finger. What a blood bath.
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Nice thought though.
 
Haha so true F&I....I would feel NAKED. Now if he put something else on my finger in the meantime like a big 2c..that'd be okay. Haha. But yes, great idea in principle, DBM!
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Thanks for the kind words on my bone structure...grass is always greener on the other side eh??





Actually we will probably be able to swing the wedding ring...hopefully...the way I want it for May. AL suggested we forgo a few of the new plantation shutters for the house order to get my ring (I like how you think girl!!) and it was something we were kind of already thinking about (or I was--heehee). We can do without shutters in the guest bedroom and random spots like master bath etc for a few months in order to get me my diamonds. Priorities yanno!!
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Hi Mara

I was just interested in where you are getting married in Hawaii? Since that is where Ilive I was just curious
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Justine
 
Hey Justine...we are getting married in Kauai (you can see my other more detailed posts in the Bride WorldWide forum) on the West side in Waimea...next May.
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Can't wait...!
 
Just caught up to your wedding band saga. I really dunno what to tell you kiddo.

So let me pass on a bit of info I've learned recently.

I've got a massive invisible set, plat ring that I don't wear. I had in mind to harvest the diamonds, design a new setting for my ACA from WF, remanufacture the plat, and make a new ring. I've spoken with several platinum smiths now, and none will use the existing plat to make a new ring. I've been told by every one that I will either have to sell the ring myself (then I'd loose the diamonds I want to use for accents), or let them remove the diamonds, and scrap the plat. They all want to use new plat for the new ring.

Maybe mac and cheese and potatoes is the way to go on this one. That is, if you don't have so much on your plate right now that you won't have time for the ring design.
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Bit of an update...one of the reasons why I was unsure about the w-ring I want is because we are in the middle of buying the house and spending any money sounds scary right now. But come Feb we'll be in the house and we should have a better handle on our finances then. There's only a slim chance we wouldn't be able to swing the w-ring...it's just because the timing of the wedding and the time needed to make the ring cut so close to when we move in...e.g. we move in in early Feb, ring would need to be commissioned in middle-late March for the early May wedding. So we don't have alot of time once we move in to re-accumulate that slush fund that we *normally* would have. I definitely am looking into hawking some stuff on eBay just because...we're moving and I have ALOT of stuff in general!!
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Don't know that I want to take it all with me--could make a few bucks on eBay.





But anyway that said...the other night I told Greg that even if it meant we had to sacrifice on something in the new house...or we had to put the w-ring on a credit card to pay it off after the wedding in a month or two (basically after the wedding we are free and clear with expenses and we save alot per month, even with the new house payment) that I wanted that ring! He balked a little and said he was willing to forgot HIS ring so that I felt in better company etc, but I said NO that I was getting him his ring no matter what, and that I wanted the same thing, went through the 'woe is me' with having to give up my new wedding ring to get another one right after etc. So he said yes, he agreed (after a bit of teasing and playing hard to get from him and kicking from me) and we'd have our rings. Plus he agreed it doesn't make sense to get other rings and then exchange them say a month or two after the wedding--seems ridiculous!




I think right now we are just both paranoid because of all the $$ that is flying out the door and we aren't even in the house yet (had to put down a huge deposit to HOLD the house with builder, and today we go into put down more $ for 50% of our options upgrades). We get it all back at closing minus closing costs, but in the meantime, we don't have the slush fund we ARE accustomed to. Plus we are looking at the shutters and a new couch and various other fun things for the house. So it pays to know all the choices and what our priorities are. Originally I had told him I would be okay with a temp ring to save $, but later decided I wasn't...so from what it sounds like, we are in sync now on having the w-rings be a top priority...yay!! Though DAMN I wish mine was cheaper!!!!
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That could be a beautiful RB ACA pendant around my little neck...hee hee.





Thanks for chiming in girls!! I appreciate all the great suggestions and thoughts....
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I'm glad you've come to a decision. It definitely isn't a bad thing to be a bit paranoid about money--especially in this economy. I created a new budget recently, then BLAM! our car was totaled and now we have car payments. We can easily afford them, but just having my carefully thought-out budget destroyed really makes me frugal right now until I can re-work my budget. So, the long off-topic ramble is just to let you know that I understand where you're coming from, and I *don't* think it's a bad thing at all!
 
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