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maid or matron of honor?

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JR320

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Nov 9, 2008
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161
At the time I got engaged, I asked my sister to be my matron of honor and my best friend to be maid of honor. Well, shortly after that, my sister shared with me that she is getting divorced. I was devastated for her and told her that I understood if she didn''t want to be in the wedding if it was too hard. She said she would think about and then a few weeks later let me know that she did want to!

My question is should she still be considered Matron or will I now be having 2 Maids of Honor?

Thanks!
 

modernsparkler

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 26, 2008
Messages
650
I am not sure what etiquette would dictate but what about asking your sister? I would think that Maid of Honor would be appropriate since she will also be a "bridesmaid". These situations can always be touchy but might be easier for her to be listed as your Maid of Honor in the program so people don''t have to asking about her hubby all night...
 

KatyWI

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
755
Etiquette dictates that she would still be considered the Matron of Honor. A matron is a married, divorced, or widowed woman. Maid is short for maiden, which specifically means the woman has never been married.


If it is your/your sister''s own personal preference to refer to her as Maid of Honor, though, I don''t think too many people would take offense.
 

White Orchid

Shiny_Rock
Joined
May 4, 2008
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229
Date: 4/17/2009 6:12:41 PM
Author: KatyWI
Etiquette dictates that she would still be considered the Matron of Honor. A matron is a married, divorced, or widowed woman. Maid is short for maiden, which specifically means the woman has never been married.



If it is your/your sister''s own personal preference to refer to her as Maid of Honor, though, I don''t think too many people would take offense.
You''re absolutely right about the etiquette here. But etiquette also dictates that only virgin brides are to wear white... I think in this day and age you need to do what you is right, not what archaic traditions may dictate.

If it were up to me, I''d call her a maid of honour. The word matron conjures images of a 40+ year old woman, and I wouldn''t want to make my sister feel old on my happy day. On the other hand, your sister may love the special title - you won''t know unless you ask her.
 

Winslet

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
303
Let me give you another variation on this dilemma in case it might help: When I asked my best friend to be my matron of honor, she said that she would gladly accept, but only if I agreed to call her MAID of honor because she didn''t want to sound like an old lady!
I''m fine with it because it makes her happy, even though my FMIL just about had a heart attack over *such* a breach in wedding etiquette
I think you should ask your sister what she prefers (she might be afraid that one name might call more attention to her situation than the other). Personally, I think some people care way too much about the most ridiculous traditions when it comes to weddings, while most won''t even notice what you choose to call your sister on your day. Just do what makes you and her happy!
 

Octavia

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 28, 2007
Messages
2,660
Is it possible to just refer to the MOHs and the Best Man/Men as "Honor Attendants" and not give them a specific title, which would avoid the whole issue? I don't know if it would make a difference to how your programs are written, but I could see listing it kind of like this:

Honor Attendants:
JR's Sister _________ Best Man
JR's Best Friend

Attendants:
Bridesmaid #1 _______ Groomsman #1
Bridesmaid #2 _______ Groomsman #2
__________________ Groomsman #3
 

bee*

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 14, 2006
Messages
12,170
I''d go with whatever your sister would prefer. I don''t think that people will mind if she turns up as Maid of honour when she should be Matron.
 
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