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Let your husband pick the upgrade?

PierreBear

Brilliant_Rock
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Hey PSers,

I know a lot of people on this website are particular about their beautiful fine jewelry. We drool, research, compare and contrast because we know what our preferences are on rings. I'm no exception and picked out our first engagement ring together. However with a future upgrade, I'm thinking about just giving general guidelines and letting him run with it so it can be a complete surprise? Good idea or bad idea? If I mentioned a specific carat range, color, and specific setting with multiple pictures, it can't really go wrong right? I'm not sure if he's the type of guy to create an account and ask everyone for input on PS though... haha. Any thoughts? Does anyone wish their husband picked out their ring completely or you are glad to do the whole process yourself?

Thanks in advance!
 

chrono

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He doesn't know a thing about cut and that matters a lot to me. He is excellent at picking beautiful settings though, so I let him do that.
 

PierreBear

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Chrono|1478811048|4096529 said:
He doesn't know a thing about cut and that matters a lot to me. He is excellent at picking beautiful settings though, so I let him do that.
What if I put in the guidelines... Whiteflash ACA?! Problem solved?
 

PintoBean

Ideal_Rock
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No way Josefina!

If it's an unnecessary in life (which I find bling to be), my money, my search parameters, my baubles. He does offer to pay, but I turn him down and am just happy he wants to contribute. He doesn't get why I am "collecting" bling, but if it makes me happy, whatevs.
 

YadaYadaYada

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I was glad I picked out my own rings for my upgrade because I don't think my husband was really into doing all the research to get a great stone. Basically he gave me a budget range and I picked what I wanted. His only concern was that I was happy and I was! :appl:
 

PintoBean

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StephanieLynn|1478813402|4096546 said:
I was glad I picked out my own rings for my upgrade because I don't think my husband was really into doing all the research to get a great stone. Basically he gave me a budget range and I picked what I wanted. His only concern was that I was happy and I was! :appl:
Yay, StephanieLynn! I also find that the research and the hunt for a great stone is part of the fun and road to happiness for me, too!
 

Elizabeth35

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I guess I am maybe not so particular---but then again I trust my DH and he pays attention to what I like/want and would do anything in his power to pick something he knows I will like.
When we were getting engaged---he asked what carat size I wanted. I told him that was his choice and that I only ask that it was well cut.
He asked about settings and we looked at a couple and I told him 4 prong, classic, white metal solitaire. I felt uncomfortable demanding a certain size or saying I wanted platinum.

He got me a beautiful AGS 000 set in platinum. I would never upgrade---it would hurt his feelings and this is the stone that he chose for me and proposed with.

For our 5 year anniversary he got me a custom made platinum 5 stone--I don't know the size but probably .30 each? Color looks slightly higher than my "I" engagement stone. And they sparkle as much as my AGS 000.
I have never asked the specs or size and I never will. It was a gift and he obviously chose it with care and made sure it was beautiful--that is what means the most to me.

I'm weird huh?
 

YadaYadaYada

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Elizabeth35|1478816768|4096565 said:
I guess I am maybe not so particular---but then again I trust my DH and he pays attention to what I like/want and would do anything in his power to pick something he knows I will like.
When we were getting engaged---he asked what carat size I wanted. I told him that was his choice and that I only ask that it was well cut.
He asked about settings and we looked at a couple and I told him 4 prong, classic, white metal solitaire. I felt uncomfortable demanding a certain size or saying I wanted platinum.

He got me a beautiful AGS 000 set in platinum. I would never upgrade---it would hurt his feelings and this is the stone that he chose for me and proposed with.

For our 5 year anniversary he got me a custom made platinum 5 stone--I don't know the size but probably .30 each? Color looks slightly higher than my "I" engagement stone. And they sparkle as much as my AGS 000.
I have never asked the specs or size and I never will. It was a gift and he obviously chose it with care and made sure it was beautiful--that is what means the most to me.

I'm weird huh?
Not weird at all. I think that's great that he puts so much effort in AND that you enjoy what he picks. Some guys, like mine just aren't as into it. So I would say you are lucky not weird ;-)
 

momhappy

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For me, it would be a bad idea, but I could see how it might work for others.
For something I wear every day, I just need control :lol:
 

madelise

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I wouldn't mind my husband picking my stone under the guidance of a trusted jeweler. He did a fabulous job the first time around with the help of a few PSers and Grace from JBG. I would trust JBG to do me another solid should he ever want to upgrade without my input.



I wouldn't want him to do the setting though, haha.



I also wouldn't trust him to do it on his own at a random jeweler. It would have to be with one I trust.
 

Scandinavian

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Yes :) DH did a really good job :bigsmile: As long as he can read (as in find out what he needs to know, lol) and he knows that you are "a bit difficult" ( :lol: ) my guess is that it will be just fine :)
 

foxinsox

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I had zero idea what I wanted for an engagement ring and had we gone with my first thoughts, I'd be unhappy with my ring now.
I think if you like MRB where you can specify ACA or CBI and get a very consistently cut product, it could work. But if you like any specific flavour of faceting or fancy shape, it seems like it could be a disaster waiting to happen
 

missy

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NO way in heck would I let my dh choose my diamond upgrade for me.
Don't get me wrong my dh has amazing taste (he's with me isn't he? :cheeky: ) but no no no don't let your dh choose your upgrade.

I don't think most PSers would be pleased with the choice their dh makes on their own.

There are too many nuances,details and factors that go into choosing just the right diamond. Unless all you want is an ideal cut of a specific color, clarity in a round MRB diamond of a specific diameter. Then maybe it is safer but if you want something that is not cookie cutter formula then you should not only be involved you should do the actual choosing.

So unless you know exactly what you want as in MRB color, clarity, AGS 0 and size well then NO I would do my own choosing and bring him along so he can feel part of the process. Then you both win. You get exactly what you want and he can enjoy the excitement of the search and thrill of the purchase. OK maybe I am just projecting but hey the search is part of the thrill IMO so why take that away from yourself? Share the enjoyment and excitement and remember you are the one who will be wearing it so you should be the one to have the final say. Or else it could be an expensive mistake...


Good luck and ENJOY!
 

chrono

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PierreBear|1478811352|4096532 said:
Chrono|1478811048|4096529 said:
He doesn't know a thing about cut and that matters a lot to me. He is excellent at picking beautiful settings though, so I let him do that.
What if I put in the guidelines... Whiteflash ACA?! Problem solved?
Yup, a small colour, and clarity range included. The problem is that I don't like RBs, which will make it very difficult for him to choose. I like ECs and old cuts. :lol:
 

PierreBear

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OK I'll ask more specifically... I think I'm going to let husband try... but I am worried about an expensive mistake.

If I wanted to go with a 2 to 2.5 round brilliant in the Vitache setting or a production of that classic look, are there any concerns or pointers? Allow Whiteflash to guide him on clarity? Stick to color range above I and above? Thanks PS friends!
 

chrono

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I would give a small range of colour (F to I as an example), and small range of clarity (VS2 to eye clean SI1 from 6 inches away).
The size range of 2 to 2.5 ct RB is good too.
You are fine with ALL the Vatche settings (because you never know what's he going to pick)? :bigsmile:
 

diamondseeker2006

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PierreBear|1478876177|4096953 said:
OK I'll ask more specifically... I think I'm going to let husband try... but I am worried about an expensive mistake.

If I wanted to go with a 2 to 2.5 round brilliant in the Vitache setting or a production of that classic look, are there any concerns or pointers? Allow Whiteflash to guide him on clarity? Stick to color range above I and above? Thanks PS friends!
Listen, you obviously have preferences. In order to get what you want, you have to tell him exactly what you want.

Tell him you want an ACA, over 2 cts, H-I color, VS1-VS2 clarity (or whatever specs you want), in the Vatche U-113 (or whatever setting) made with 90% platinum and 10% iridium, and size 5. That way, he is at least choosing the diamond, but it will have the exact specs you want.

Not specifying what you want results in you not being happy and then he is not happy. In no way does my choosing my jewelry diminish the fact that my husband wants me to have things I love, and in my case currently, provides the funds to do so. When I pick it out, we are both happy. I do see women who care nothing about jewelry or jewelry quality being happy with surprise jewelry gifts, but absolutely not for 99% of regular PS members!
 

diamondseeker2006

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In addition, if I wanted a semi-surprise, I could call the jeweler and say I want you to keep a wish list for me. I like your 6 ct diamond bracelet in the 3 prong platinum setting, diamond studs 1.0 each (with the specs and settings specified), a solitaire pendant (with exact specs), etc.

I had that idea in the past, but in actuality, I have an order I want things and even gave up on that idea long ago! :lol: My husband is really happy when I am happy!
 

Calliecake

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Put me in the camp of not wanting my husband to pick out an upgrade. Its probably a silly on my part. If he was going to a jeweler I knew and trusted and this jeweler knew what I was looking for, I would probably be better off letting him pick out the stone. My husband would probably tell the jeweler to find him what I want but to increase the size. He never forgot a jeweler telling him years ago that you need to be able to see the diamond at least five tables away when your out having dinner, and it better look big that far away. I knew right then and there that this particular jeweler was the one I wanted my husband going to for gifts.
 

partgypsy

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Calliecake|1478880143|4096993 said:
Put me in the camp of not wanting my husband to pick out an upgrade. Its probably a silly on my part. If he was going to a jeweler I knew and trusted and this jeweler knew what I was looking for, I would probably be better off letting him pick out the stone. My husband would probably tell the jeweler to find him what I want but to increase the size. He never forgot a jeweler telling him years ago that you need to be able to see the diamond at least five tables away when your out having dinner, and it better look big that far away. I knew right then and there that this particular jeweler was the one I wanted my husband going to for gifts.

:lol:
 

baby monster

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DH bought one piece of jewelry on his own at the start of our relationship. He hasn't made that mistake in the past 18 years :naughty:

I wouldn't dream of buying his next flashlight either :wink2:
 
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