Le sigh. All these 3+ ct diamonds on PS...

[rainydaze]

are making it VERY hard to visualize how to reset my 1.36 OEC!! Anyone else having this problem?!

It seems like PS has largely gone the way of larger stones. Every time I spot a setting and think 'that's it!!' I check the stats and sure enough, it's holding a 2.5ct or greater diamond. So then I wonder, do I love it because the diamond is large and it's the proportions of the setting for that size stone that I am loving? Enter DSS...

I've got an itch and I want to scratch it, but I can't seem to figure out how! My OEC is a G, has VS1 clarity to boot, is cut beautifully, and throws off crazy fire (it scored 1.something on the HCA and came out as an FIC, and usually OECs aren't suited for the HCA if I recall correctly). AND it's been hanging out in a James Meyer setting which has spoiled me for craftsmanship and artistry It is even harder to part with since he's now officially retired.

But that itch.... do I reset? Stick with bezel (love the security and full view, but don't love the dull patina right next to the diamond) or try out six prongs (more for my OCD eyes to be picky about, might catch and pull which is a headache I don't currently have to deal with but I want something different and love a lot of six prong styles) or go octagonal faux bezel with tab prongs? Stick with plat (love the weight) or try out rose gold shank with plat basket (afraid it will feel too lightweight for my taste, but LOVE the look on me)? Go with the inexpensive Stuller crown which ALWAYS grabs me (but when it does, it's always holding a 2.5+ stone, might feel like a downgrade after having a James Meyer) or go with another designer (whose quality I will appreciate but I can't seem to find examples with stones my size so it may not translate the way I hope)?

Or do I upgrade? I would stick with an OEC between 2-2.5ct, but I would have to go lower in color because there just aren't higher colors, plus budget. I could maybe swing an I color, don't seem drawn to Js, but oddly like Ks though DH says no way in heck you will be happy with that (have not viewed these colors in person, have only seen them online!). If I went this route, I think I would be happy with the Stuller because I upgraded the diamond so I'm getting the real fix there. But... then I have given up a G OEC, one that I love except for some DSS.... But then there is the whole process of selling/trading in and I just don't seem to be good with that kind of thing, it scares me, despite how long I have been on PS.

Basically, I want a change. But I have something special already and am hesitant to give it up. BUT I am not sure what reset will effectively scratch the itch. (I have also gone up in ring size and it's hard to get my ering off now, and I am leery to have anyone besides JM resize since the execution of his shank is so unique in a subtle way.)

WWYD??

 

[House Cat]

I like big stones and I cannot lie...

I upgraded to a 1.97 ct stone this summer and put it into a two tone rose gold/white gold Stuller crown setting. There are some quality issues with this setting. I sent it back to the vendor. He sent it back to Stuller to have it remade several times. The issues are still present. I gave up.

Let me see if I can find a photo for you... and if I can’t, at some point, I will take a photo so that you can see what I’m talking about.

I didn’t want to start a whole thread about this issue, but since you are contemplating buying this setting, I want to warn you so that you can make an informed decision.

 

[rainydaze]

Wow, HC I'm sorry you've had so many issues. Thank you so much for posting about it even though I'm sure that brings up all the aggravation again. I really appreciate your insight because, yeah, sounds like you did exactly what I am considering doing!

 

[missy]

Hi @rainydaze ahh the age old question. WWYD. It’s such an individual decision.

You have an OEC you love but for the size. Would resetting it adding to the diameter be sufficient to make you content with the ring? Or would that change the look you love and perhaps upgrading to a larger OEC would quench your thirst. But then you’d have to go lower in color and perhaps clarity. That might make you unhappy with the stone and then what good is the additional size?

As with everything there’s always some compromise. What is the compromise that would make you happy? Only you can answer that question and you might not be able to determine that answer yet.

So to answer what would I do (not that it may but since you asked) I would do just what I did do...sell your OEC *when* you find the HG OEC of your dreams and not before then. So take your time and search or your “perfect” for you stone and then take action.

I don’t know if a reset would make you happy because while halos are pretty they might not scratch your itch for a larger OEC. Or maybe it will. Again only you can determine that. But this is what I would do. Keep looking and hold onto the OEC you have until you find something you love more.

My advice is to try on as many rings and see as many OECs (of different color grades and facet patterns) as possible to see what you would love on your hand. Sometimes the thought of what we want doesn’t match with the reality.

Please also remember comparison is the thief of joy. Food for thought.

And enjoy the search.

 

[Austina]

I upgraded from zero to 4.56cts, and before PS I wasn’t aware of OECs or OMCs. This place is dangerous

Bella is an L , and honestly I would say you really need to see as many OECs as you can, because I’ve been amazed at how white they face up (although I’m not terribly colour sensitive). I saw a gorgeous M coloured OMC that I’d have been very happy with if I hadn’t been lucky enough to get Bella.

If someone had told me 12 months ago, that I’d be sporting this beauty, I wouldn’t have believed it, but I’m totally smitten with not just the cut, but the softer colour.

 

[AV_]

Last week I found myself re-reading your old posts just for the sake of the ring in your avatar. Elsewhere there is talk of a <.5cts F. Green-Yellow and the size reminded me your ring!

James Meyer did beautiful work...

Perhaps you might like a Faint - Light yellow? They are still not priced their due.

Thinking out loud

 

[wildcatz]

Based on what you have said, I don't think you will be happy with a reset alone. Bite the bullet and get a larger, lower color stone. The OEC's look great in lower colors. I recently got one of Victor Canera's CER stones in a K and when it was set, I just don't notice the color at all. It is blindingly white face up because it is so well cut. It is the same size as my other ring, approximately 1.7 carats and the other ring is an H in color and a radiant cut. I notice the color more in my radiant due to the cut.

 

[Dee*Jay]

Rainy, I can't help you at all, but I will say I feel your pain! I just got a new 3 ct diamond and the thing looks like a mere speck to me! I'm hoping somewhere in the setting process a little Miracle Grow gets sprinkled on that poor tiny thing!

That being said, a setting can make a HUGE difference. So if you love the stone go for a setting that will plump it up a big. But if you think you'll still be jonesing for a bigger stone anyway, no matter what the setting, well, save the setting $ and put it toward an upgrade.

#TheMostUnhelpfulPostEver

 

[Dee*Jay]

Oh wait -- maybe I do have a useful thought!

What about getting a faux ring with your size stone in a setting similar to what you think you might want? Perhaps that will tell you it the reset along is going to be enough before you spend a lot of money in either direction.

 

[OoohShiny]

If budget and 4Cs preferences don't align, perhaps the laboratory grown offerings from August Vintage could be an option!

 

[MakingTheGrade]

I fought my DSS by changing my solitaire to a 5 stone. When I wear it next to 2-3ct solitaires it still ends up more eye catching.

I also recently got a 2.2 fancy light yellow marquise and agree with the above that they are beautiful and well priced! I could not afford a 2.2 G colored stone for a rhr!

 

[junebug17]

@rainydaze, I think I agree with wildcatz, going by what you've said I don't think resetting alone is going to scratch the itch for you. I think upgrading to a larger lower colored stone would probably be the way to go. It would be helpful if you could see some lower colored old cuts in person.

That said, is a vintage style halo completely out of the question? My diamond is 8 mm. I reset into a vintage style halo a few years ago and it cured my dss. I considered upgrading but it would have been thousands of dollars to get the size I wanted so I thought I'd give a halo a try and it ended up doing the trick for me. I know halos aren't everybody's cup of tea but just thought I'd share my experience.

 

[Calliecake]

@rainydaze , I’ve seen @junebug17 ring in person and it it stunning. The picture shows how great her finger coverage is as well. Have you considered getting a fake halo ring to wear and see how you like it on your hand? It’s a good idea to figure out what will make you happiest before spending a lot of money.

The ring I get the most compliments on is the halo. You can’t beat the sparkle factor. I’ve had many strangers stop and ask to see my ring.

I hope you end up getting a ring that makes your heart sing. At the end of the day what makes you happiest in a ring is all that is matters.

 

[tkyasx78]

Save your money on a reset. Get the larger center stone. I have learned there is no cure for DSS. Resets are just very expensive and non refundable bridges to the larger diamond you actually wanted instead of the new setting.

 

[lyra]

I've been here 11 years. I went bigger, I went smaller, I went designer, I went preloved and next I hope to go OEC. I'm at the end of my buying days though. You seem to be at the beginning or middle. Go bigger! Bigger should always be the first thing to try if it's within your budget.

 

[JPie]

DSS is real! You could buy a big rock from Berricle and see if that’s the cure you need before you bite the bullet and upgrade.

 

[AprilBaby]

Rainy, I can't help you at all, but I will say I feel your pain! I just got a new 3 ct diamond and the thing looks like a mere speck to me! I'm hoping somewhere in the setting process a little Miracle Grow gets sprinkled on that poor tiny thing!

That being said, a setting can make a HUGE difference. So if you love the stone go for a setting that will plump it up a big. But if you think you'll still be jonesing for a bigger stone anyway, no matter what the setting, well, save the setting $ and put it toward an upgrade.

#TheMostUnhelpfulPostEver

Ooo! What are you going to do with it? This is not the one I saw in July?

 

[AprilBaby]

I feel like the only person on here who can’t upgrade. Le sigh. Where does everyone get so much spare money? I need to plant a money tree.

 

[MeowMeow]

I feel like the only person on here who can’t upgrade. Le sigh. Where does everyone get so much spare money? I need to plant a money tree.

Definitely not the only one lol! If you figure out that money tree thing let me know lmao.

 

[foxinsox]

Definitely not the only one lol! If you figure out that money tree thing let me know lmao.

You're not alone - it'll be years before I could contemplate upgrading because I'm shopping with NZD and also we have a bunch of things we want to do with our current house and then plan to build too as well as setting up for retirement

 

[lyra]

I feel like the only person on here who can’t upgrade. Le sigh. Where does everyone get so much spare money? I need to plant a money tree.

Oh, I'm definitely at the end of the line here. I don't have anything that compares to the gorgeous things I see here, but I guess I've still been influenced. It's just that my renditions are all quite small in scale. I still like seeing what others find though. I get happiness from that too.

 

[MeowMeow]

Oh, I'm definitely at the end of the line here. I don't have anything that compares to the gorgeous things I see here, but I guess I've still been influenced. It's just that my renditions are all quite small in scale. I still like seeing what others find though. I get happiness from that too.

Me too. Its definitely fun to look at the stuff that comes up here. It's all so beautiful! And I figure by the time i am ready for my turn I will know what I want!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Well, first I wanna see the current OEC in JM setting! It sounds like a great stone, and if you could keep it and get another larger one, that would be the easiest choice!

I will say this, we PSers are very bad about changing settings multiple times and are still not happy because something about the diamond wasn't right...size, shape, cut, or color. So I'd really decide if it is really wanting a larger diamond before spending any more money resetting this stone.

I agree it is extremely hard being around PS and seeing all these stones from 2-5+ cts all the time!!! It took me several years to be able to go over 2 cts because I am size-sensitive in my local world. I know no one locally who has ever changed to a new, larger e-ring, so everyone I know wears their original .75-1.25 ct diamond rings!!! So while I'd love to rock a 3 ct ring, I'd be extremely uncomfortable doing so (at least in a round...some shapes, maybe). I don't even wear all my rings as it is!!! All that it to say, think hard about your family and social circle and whether you'd feel funny if you had the largest diamond. Many here say to not care and do what pleases you, but others like me will say be sure what your comfort level is, too!

 

[mrs-b]

Hi @rainydaze -

Firstly, let me say how much I love your avatar ring. I think it's one of the most beautiful rings DKJ has ever made and it looks AWESOME on you.

So, re size - I went right up to a 5.3ct + solitaire - and it was stunning - gorgeous cut, glorious warm, yellowy-lime color. But it was just too big. I've been bouncing around in the 3's ever since. I had a 4.01ct stone for a matter of weeks - but it really is the 3's that do it for me.

Given that my setting is a 3-stone, it makes for an ugly ring to go much larger than my current center stone in that style of setting, and next year I'm planning to get something in the low 1 ct's to set in platinum and wear as a soli with all my platinum bands. I love all the different sizes - and it doesn't need to be huge to be perfect. No ring scratches every itch - and I think it's not knowing that, which leads to feelings of disappointment when one gets a new ring and it doesn't hit all bases.

I think the size of your stone is absolutely lovely and terribly elegant. Don't be tempted to trade this beautiful diamond away; there is no stone that does it all, and there are plenty of people - like me - who have larger stones, yet still lust after stones in the 1ct range.

PS On the other hand - do whatever suits you! This is my opinion only.

 

[House Cat]

My ring is the first ring. The other rings are PS’ers rings. You can see that with the little donut, the “teeth” are messy. This was the best attempt, as they were much worse on the first ring I received and the vendor actually had his jeweler engrave this ring to make them look better. Also, the “crown” isn’t as precise as everyone else’s rings. The vendor said the mold for this ring is bad. With the first ring, there was white gold bleeding over onto the shank.

I had the thought that maybe if I had gone with one color of metal, instead of a two-tone ring, I wouldn’t have seen all of these problems. When you order two-tone from Stuller, it is a custom order.

In the end, it was such an inexpensive ring that I figured it was good enough for now and I would find a more suitable solitaire later.

You might have to zoom in to see what I’m talking about with the little teeth on the donut.

 

[rainydaze]

Thank you *everyone* for offering your thoughts!! Your insights are really helping me sort through my craziness!

I should probably add that this all came about for two reasons. 1) I like change and 2) when I got the ring in my avatar (18k rose gold shank, plat head) I wore it every day as my RHR. Then one day I tried it out on my left and was really loving the effect. Some days I just kept wearing it without switching it to my right and putting on my wedding set. That got me thinking..... I want a reset for my ering, to rose gold and plat. Now enter PS where every time I found a potential setting, it was holding a 2.5+ stone so I started thinking maybe what I want is a bigger diamond... and at that point my diamond, which I had been content with up to that point, promptly shrank.

missy - right off you hit on one of my concerns. I currently have a bezel which adds to it's diameter and I've been told, actually makes diamonds look bigger because your eye can take in the whole diamond unobstructed. I want to try prongs but I am afraid my diamond will SHRINK so I'm leery of this. But another bezel might not scratch the itch because it's the same, and I'm not sure I am a halo gal. I don't necessarily want a bigger diamond, but that seems like the solution to the quandry of getting prongs without losing perceived size. You are so right to slow down and enjoy this... I have been thinking on it for nearly a year now and am getting to that 'do something already' point but that's when I'm likely to make a mistake!

Austina - Damn right it is! Bella is so amazing and you are so lucky to be sporting her! I'm glad to hear that you are enjoying the softer color as much as everything else about her. I feel like I might too, but DH (and Adam at OWD when I bought my OEC) keep telling me that I am a higher color girl. I keep watching videos, but you're right, the only way to know for sure is to see some for myself. It's tricky, but doable.

AV - interesting idea! No harm in checking some out. And quite the compliment, thank you! I absolutely adore this ring (avatar), DKJ nailed it!

wildcatz - Good to know! You're ring is gorgeous and blinding in the last photo!

Dee - You're such a riot! If only Miracle Grow worked... course I need it to grow mine to the size of your, ahem, 'speck'! #Offtolookforideas because #thatisagoodidea

OoohShiny - Thanks for chiming in! I have checked those out and while they are gorgeous, for whatever reason I think I would be happier keeping my smaller but mined diamond over a non-mined.

MTG - Your collection is amazing, and your marquis ring is yet another gorgeous addition! Interesting about the five stone, and good to know! I actually didn't mention yet another idea which was to add a blingier band. I have a plain plat which I love for it's sleek simple look, and a tiny but powerful eternity for a little more. But I also covet a bar set diamond band and wonder if that route would satisfy me (along with a Van Craeynest band I also covet). I'd still need to do something about my ering though as it's too small and resizing is scary since it's a JM... which brings me back to may as well reset.

junebug - gotta say, I haven't been sure a halo is the answer *for me* but your ring is giving me serious pause. I do especially love what you can do with the baskets by having a halo, so maybe I have been too quick to dismiss them!! Your ring is spectacular!

Callie - Ok, yeah, I have to try out a halo. I'm not wondering why I dismissed them. I had a princess eons ago and I reset that into a halo (and loved it) but that particular ring was just too heavy and too much for my lifestyle and I ended up trading in for my OEC. I have only ever tried the Ritani Endless Love halo for a round, and come to think of it, I died every time I put it on.

tkyasx78 - wise words! That was one benefit of the Stuller setting, I could try it out for little $$ and see if it would scratch the itch. Then if it does but it's just the quality of the setting that's a problem, I know I can now shell out the $$ for a designer setting. OR it doesn't scratch the itch, I know I need to upgrade, and I'm only out a few hundred on top of the upgrade amount.

lyra - I love it! Straight up just get to the point and do it woman! It's within budget, it just means giving up color and that's what stops me. However, there are two I-color OECs out there that are options (if going K just won't cut it for me) but then they really are a huge jump in cost from what I have, and I am not quite sure if I am comfortable with that. But sometimes avoiding that option to begin with means you just end up in the same place with it costing even MORE.

JPie - off to find Berricle!

AprilBaby, MeowMeow, foxinsox - I hear you. Part of wanting to keep my current OEC is where does it end. I like practicing being happy with what I have. It's enough. Heck, it's more than enough. Sometimes having options is not always better, it breeds the discontent that leads to obsessing over what to do which takes away from enjoying what I already have.

DS - that was one of the first things my DH brought up when I mentioned an upgrade! Will I feel comfortable. He seems to think not, but he is extremely modest and non-materialistic. My 1ct princess in an Eli Jewels halo with engraving and graduation side diamonds (12g) made me VERY self-conscious. But I really don't think a 2.5 will. If it's a solitaire it won't stand out. My closest friend wears a three-stone with a 3ct center, and there are others like that in my circle, along with fancy cars and such, but there are many .5-1ct and even just bands, too. I have some wiggle room to wear what I want. Which doesn't help!! I absolutely fall into the category of people who are good at still not being happy, and since everything about my diamond makes me happy except *maybe* the size and the setting (wanting a change, not that something is wrong with it), that's where I think I am leaning at this point.

I want to post a pic of the ring in question but my camera is acting up and taking fuzzy shots. Will keep trying!

mrs-b - thank you mrs-b!! "No ring scratches every itch" This was SO good for me to read! That's what I am doing, trying to find a setting/ring that will be perfect and tick EVERY box (and I currently have a lot of boxes!!). Your journey with your 4ct ring was inspiring (and made for awesome eye-candy!!) as you had the courage to make the changes needed to make you happy. And the end result is PERFECT!

 

[rainydaze]

My ring is the first ring. The other rings are PS’ers rings. You can see that with the little donut, the “teeth” are messy. This was the best attempt, as they were much worse on the first ring I received and the vendor actually had his jeweler engrave this ring to make them look better. Also, the “crown” isn’t as precise as everyone else’s rings. The vendor said the mold for this ring is bad. With the first ring, there was white gold bleeding over onto the shank.

I had the thought that maybe if I had gone with one color of metal, instead of a two-tone ring, I wouldn’t have seen all of these problems. When you order two-tone from Stuller, it is a custom order.

In the end, it was such an inexpensive ring that I figured it was good enough for now and I would find a more suitable solitaire later.

You might have to zoom in to see what I’m talking about with the little teeth on the donut.

Whoa, yeah I can see the difference, and it's especially apparent next to the other versions. That's exactly what my fear is in with going with the Stuller. I can't believe that's the best they could do even after a few tries! You have saved me from the same grief, as I was leaning heavily to that option.

Thank you so much for sharing your experience and pics. I'm so sorry it went that way for you and I hope it all works out to something great for you in the end!

 

[carbonfan]

I just wanted to chime in, as I have been as guilty as anyone about going back and forth between stones and settings! I totally agree with what others have posted, and what @mrs-b so eloquently said particularly resonated with me. It is difficult (if not impossible) to find one stone and setting that do it all, but the key is tuning into what feels most true to you (that one took me a while but I am happy to say that I finally figured it out!). If you want to keep your stone but enhance the overall finger coverage, perhaps something like CvB's Casablanca would be just the thing (I think @soxfan has this, and that is one gorgeous setting!!). But if a larger stone is truly what your heart desires, the wonderful thing is that antique cuts are so beautiful in lower colors! So you could probably go down several steps in color without feeling like you had given anything up visually. I would also suggest that you try to view as many sizes and colors in real life and see what you like on your hand. In my personal experience, there are setting styles that I absolutely love, but when I try them on they do not look right on me (to my eyes, anyway!). And there are definitely stones that would look ridiculously big on me as well. So it really is beneficial to try as much as you can before making a firm decision. And given that you love your current stone, I love what @diamondseeker2006 suggested... if it is possible to keep your current stone and perhaps also get a larger OEC in a lower color, that could potentially be the best of both worlds! And try not to be too enamored by the sizes of stones we see on PS... there is obviously a wide range on this board, but the truth is that gorgeous stones come in every size, and there are intangibles that go far beyond the specs. Of course, all of this is just my opinion, but regardless of which way you decide to go, please keep us posted and most of all, try to take pleasure in the journey!

 

[rainydaze]

but the key is tuning into what feels most true to you (that one took me a while but I am happy to say that I finally figured it out!).

carbonfan what a great post! The part above particularly hit home... I am going to mull on that for a bit.

Yeah as I sit here contemplating my response, the voices telling me why six prongs and a lower color OEC won't ultimately work for me are now screaming, and the voices telling me that I am a bezel girl and higher color girl are also screaming. That's what I know, so far, is true to me, now that you have brought that into focus!

One setting is now flashing in neon lights in my mind saying this is the way to go, idiot! You know it and have always known it! But you are ignoring it because it's a little similar to what you already have. Yet it makes the improvements you are looking for (little more oomph, rose gold and plat, creates a gap with bands) and maintains the quality you are accustomed to.

 

[mrs-b]

carbonfan what a great post! The part above particularly hit home... I am going to mull on that for a bit.

Yeah as I sit here contemplating my response, the voices telling me why six prongs and a lower color OEC won't ultimately work for me are now screaming, and the voices telling me that I am a bezel girl and higher color girl are also screaming. That's what I know, so far, is true to me, now that you have brought that into focus!

One setting is now flashing in neon lights in my mind saying this is the way to go, idiot! You know it and have always known it! But you are ignoring it because it's a little similar to what you already have. Yet it makes the improvements you are looking for (little more oomph, rose gold and plat, creates a gap with bands) and maintains the quality you are accustomed to.

I love the whole 'high color, bezel' combo for you. And as for getting similar settings...3 stones are my favorite. I have one - and am contemplating 2 more! They work for me, and none of them are identical. You obviously have a certain aesthetic, too; it's no surprise that runs through your jewelry, making it look similar and coherent. This is no bad thing; 'similar' is not 'the same' - don't be afraid of it. Once you've found the look you love - go with it!