Ladies, would you ever propose to a man?

[skypie]

Please also state if you believe in "traditional gender roles" for men and women.

 

[nazs]

I don't believe in gender roles, in fact I asked my boyfriend out.

However, my boyfriend is very traditional. And, he's been very adamant in the past that he would say no if I proposed to him and he would love to see me take his last name. That last one is strange for me since I'm Korean and none of the women in my family have EVER done that. But, he's also Korean and his mom took his dad's name.

 

[LJsapphire]

I proposed to my fiancé first, on leap year day. He wasn’t happy because he wanted to do the proposal so he said yes but then he made me wait so he could do it. I think I posted about it in another thread.
Gender roles: I’m the main breadwinner, he currently stays at home and does the house work. I drive, he doesn’t. He is better with the diy jobs, he cooks, he cleans and he irons. He helps with childcare (he will be my son’s step father).

I don’t think I will change my name again. I went back to my maiden name officially this year although I have been using it for 7 years. His name sounds strange with mine, can’t get used to it. Will have to see.

 

[dk168]

If I like someone, I'll let him know, and shall not hold back from making the first move.
DK

 

[Sunstorm]

While I am somewhat traditional and would love a romantic proposal and a private but romantic wedding this time, I would in a way propose too. Gender roles are very mixed today anyhow and in our case while OTOH we are both very traditional in some ways, in others we are very unconventional, also not young, not first marriage. So I think it depends on the situation. I like the idea of both proposing to each other and I do think that if I get a ring, he should get a gift, which he would probably not want. I also made my own ring already.)

 

[missy]

If you asked me this question 20 years ago when I first met my dh I would have said ummm no way for 2 reasons. One because I was NEVER getting married EVER (haha how time changes things). And reason two is because I am more shy that way and would have been afraid to put myself in such a vulnerable position of proposing unless I knew with complete certainty he would have said yes.

However now the answer would be HECK yeah I would if I was crazy in love with the guy and he wasn't proposing to me. However I don't think I would propose unless we had talked about getting married beforehand otherwise you wouldn't know if he was on the same page. And a very wise person once told me never ask a question you don't know the answer to...

And honestly a part of me still would have wanted the guy to get down on one knee and propose in the most romantic way saying beautiful romantic things like it happened IRL for me. But the modern current day me thinks the most important thing is that you are with the love of your life no matter who proposes.

 

[Sunstorm]

Missy I agree with everything you said above!

 

[missy]

Missy I agree with everything you said above!

I was just saying to greg yesterday how similar you and I are. Different sure but so similar in other ways and our minds work very much in sync I think. I read and responded to your nirdi post. Hugs.

 

[Sunstorm]

Awww...., that´s a huge compliment! You made my day dear friend.

 

[Loveletter_to_Algaea]

I think if I knew we were both sure and ready, I would be willing to ask. After all, a girl gets impatient. I think what I've mostly seen in my friend groups, though, is that the woman is ready first and the man will say that he wants a little more time to prepare himself. In the end, the reason the men in my friend group are the ones asking is because they're the last one's to decide that they're ready.

 

[partgypsy]

I've been married once, been with the person for 25 years, now divorced. For us the big question was, were we going to move to another part of the country together and live together. The marriage part was more of a secondary consideration and happened later. In both cases we discussed it, rather than it being some kind of surprise. So I guess I would say, while I am up for bringing up the subject, I am traditional enough that if there is a marriage proposal involved, the guy does it (and hopefully it is not a complete surprise at that point!).