Ladies in waiting, how and when did you know he was "the one

[april4]

"?

How long after you met and started dating? And what made you know?

 

[amc80]

Re: Ladies in waiting, how and when did you know he was "the

I knew within a few weeks that he could possibly be the one. And I knew for sure by 4-5 months.

How did I know? I loved (and still love) being around him. I never need a break from him. We can be together for several days straight and I'm still sad when he leaves. We also think the exact same way...as in he will randomly say something and it will be something I was about to say. We jokingly get mad at each other for stealing thoughts

 

[Grlsbestfrnd]

Re: Ladies in waiting, how and when did you know he was "the

I knew he was someone I could see myself marrying within the first month of dating (I knew him for over a year before we started dating though). After about 6 months I knew for sure he was "the one" and that I could never be without him

 

[blacksand]

Re: Ladies in waiting, how and when did you know he was "the

For me, it was definitely within the first few months. The funny thing was, it wasn't like I had a "wow!" moment where I realized he was the one (not that he didn't do lots of things to wow me!). For me, it was more like I realized that all the stress, drama, and worrying that I had honestly believed was a part of every relationship, since I had experienced it to some degree in every relationship I had been in before, just wasn't there with him. Everything was good. I never wondered "why isn't he calling me?" or "what will he think of me if I do _____?" I never went through the drama of wondering whether my feelings for him were unrequited, never felt embarrassed being myself around him. There was no "why hasn't he introduced me to his family or friends yet?" like in my previous relationships. I met them early on and I like them! That was really important to me. I had been in too many relationships where I loved the guy but hated his mother/father/best friend and just constantly battled that stress. I had always thought that that just kind of came with the territory. With him, I learned that you actually can have it all. An amazing guy, great family, great friends, he likes my friends and family too, I can completely relax and be myself and we just love being together. Even if we're doing dishes, changing sheets or shoveling snow together (we both despise all of those things, by the way), we work together and it works. And if we need time apart, that's not stressful, either. I'm not afraid he'll be mad if I schedule a night out with my girlfriends, and I don't worry if he goes out with his friends. I think I felt really grown up all of a sudden. It was probably the first time I wasn't at all nervous or awkward when telling my family and friends about him and introducing him to them. It seemed perfectly natural and healthy that we should be together, and everyone seemed happy for us. It was the first time that moving in together, getting engaged, and getting married didn't seem like abstract things I wanted to do someday. They seemed like concrete, logical things that we both wanted and would be doing in the near future.

None of this sounds terribly romantic, I'm afraid, but for me, that was exactly it. I've been with guys who serenaded me, wrote me poetry, bought me beautiful gifts. and told me everything I wanted to hear every day. Romantic? Yes. A solid foundation for a relationship? No. Then I met a guy who was willing to clean my bunnies' stinky litterbox for me when I was sick in bed. Not so romantic, but what a guy. I finally have a relationship that works in the real world, and not just a romantic fantasy.

 

[davidsbfly]

Re: Ladies in waiting, how and when did you know he was "the

We had been dating for maybe a month, and he had already told me he loved me We have known each other since grade primary (we were in the same class) and went all through school together, but never hung around the same crowd. We have also both been married before, so I wanted to be sure he was the one (or I guess the second?..lol), especially before I told him that I loved him. Anyway, we were at his parents place at lunch time to pick something up, and no one was home, and we were in his basement and he showed me his old room, etc. When we were out in the hallway, he just looked at me and kissed me, and then wouldn't stop looking into my eyes. It was the way he looked at me I could see the love in his eyes, and I knew then and there that he was the one, and that is the day I first told him that I loved him back. I will never forget that day! It was two years ago and he still looks at me the same way and I hope that never changes! Being in love like this is so amazing...*sigh*

PS- We had been talking online everyday for a year before we got together, so even though we had been dating at that time for roughly a month, it seemed longer because we had got to know each other so well for the year leading up to that point.

 

[kagordo4]

Re: Ladies in waiting, how and when did you know he was "the

I knew within a few weeks that he could possibly be the one. And I knew for sure by 4-5 months.

How did I know? I loved (and still love) being around him. I never need a break from him. We can be together for several days straight and I'm still sad when he leaves. We also think the exact same way...as in he will randomly say something and it will be something I was about to say. We jokingly get mad at each other for stealing thoughts

This. AMC said it so perfectly that I had to quote her. I'm one of those people that needs alone time, I can't stand being around someone 24/7. SO is totally different. Two years and I haven't gotten sick of him yet Actually I'm totally bummbed every morning when he leaves. I can't imagine my life without him.

But seriously, one day I just realized "whooa, I think I love this tiny man... whooa." It all just sort of happened from that moment.

 

[Anonymous]

Re: Ladies in waiting, how and when did you know he was "the

Not a LIW, but I love these threads so I hope it's ok to chime in!

My FI and I started out as long distance. We met in August of 2007. Our relationship started out very slowly, since neither of us were actually looking for a romantic relationship, especially long distance and with all of the baggage that we would have to overcome (beyond LD, I was in the process of ending a very bad relationship, had two kids, he had a terrible job that had him moving every 6 months, etc.). Anyhow, we started having feelings for each other in December of 2007, undeniable and painful need to be with each other by March of 2008, and FINALLY met for the first time in person in August of 2008.

I knew he was "the one" the first night. We were incredibly nervous for the first few hours when I was showing him around town, driving around aimlessly thinking "OMG HE'S HERE...NEXT TO ME...AHHHHH!!!!!" while trying to play it cool. Once we got to his hotel room and finally alone together, he hugged me tight and said some very sweet things, then we shared our first kiss. Yep, I knew it then. Over the last 2+ years there have been many affirmations of that through less (and more!) romantic times. We have the strongest, healthiest relationship that I've ever seen (granted my examples aren't exactly the highest caliber, but still). In the beginning I kept holding my breath, skeptical that it was too good to be true. I've (for the most part) outgrown that now and have settled into just being ridiculously thankful.

Blacksand - I remember your bunny thread and that eventful weekend. That was so sweet!!

 

[amc80]

Re: Ladies in waiting, how and when did you know he was "the

This. AMC said it so perfectly that I had to quote her. I'm one of those people that needs alone time, I can't stand being around someone 24/7. SO is totally different. Two years and I haven't gotten sick of him yet Actually I'm totally bummbed every morning when he leaves. I can't imagine my life without him.

But seriously, one day I just realized "whooa, I think I love this tiny man... whooa." It all just sort of happened from that moment.

Yep...as soon as the BF leaves I'm sad.

And...how small is your tiny man? ::Visions of someone you can fit in your pocket::

 

[ksmyheart]

Re: Ladies in waiting, how and when did you know he was "the

It was not even instant attraction for me , but he grew on me and then when we started dating and he would leave to go back home which was 2 hours away i would always cry. Being with my SO is being with my best friend watching him with our son is so amazing , we have had rough patches and there was a time after our son was born i moved and got an apartment in my home state. But we have always come back together.

I just adore him .... everything about him not to mention when ever i go to visit my family for the week i still cry when i say goodbye to him. I am a little uptight and he is very him ying to my yang.

 

[kagordo4]

Re: Ladies in waiting, how and when did you know he was "the

This. AMC said it so perfectly that I had to quote her. I'm one of those people that needs alone time, I can't stand being around someone 24/7. SO is totally different. Two years and I haven't gotten sick of him yet Actually I'm totally bummbed every morning when he leaves. I can't imagine my life without him.

But seriously, one day I just realized "whooa, I think I love this tiny man... whooa." It all just sort of happened from that moment.

Yep...as soon as the BF leaves I'm sad.

And...how small is your tiny man? ::Visions of someone you can fit in your pocket::

Lol I call him my pocket Marine : P Shortest man in his unit, by a lot. BF is just around 5'3". So he's half an inch shorter than me. He's not crazy tiny, but he's shorter than me, and I had never dated someone even close to my own height before.

Pocket Marine... Do"mini'can...

 

[amc80]

Re: Ladies in waiting, how and when did you know he was "the

This. AMC said it so perfectly that I had to quote her. I'm one of those people that needs alone time, I can't stand being around someone 24/7. SO is totally different. Two years and I haven't gotten sick of him yet Actually I'm totally bummbed every morning when he leaves. I can't imagine my life without him.

But seriously, one day I just realized "whooa, I think I love this tiny man... whooa." It all just sort of happened from that moment.

Yep...as soon as the BF leaves I'm sad.

And...how small is your tiny man? ::Visions of someone you can fit in your pocket::

Lol I call him my pocket Marine : P Shortest man in his unit, by a lot. BF is just around 5'3". So he's half an inch shorter than me. He's not crazy tiny, but he's shorter than me, and I had never dated someone even close to my own height before.

Pocket Marine... Do"mini'can...

Ha! I'm with a former Marine. But he's 6'7". I call him my giant. He insists he's normal and that everyone else is mini.

 

[vintagelover229]

Re: Ladies in waiting, how and when did you know he was "the

I had been though a divorce that year and was back in the dating scene, but it wasn't going very well. I had tried one other LD relationship and it hadn't gone very well and was thinking about taking a break from dating all together when I met my SO. When we met I could tell he wasn't interested (not just in me, but wasn't interested in a relationship with anyone AT ALL) and he lived IN CANADA (I was in Houston at the time). Because of his co-workers we ended up hanging out the day after we met, and then one on one for the last 2 days he was in town. I knew on our first "date" (I cooked him dinner at my place the first night we hung out alone, but our 2nd night he took me to a very nice restaurant in downtown Houston). It was the day after I cooked him dinner and he had picked out an amazing bottle of wine (among many other common interests) and I just loved being around him. I thought to myself I really REALLY could like this guy. Too bad he lives in another COUNTRY! As the date went on I had a quick flash of a thought....THIS IS THE MAN I AM GOING TO MARRY. I said WHOA out loud and he looked at me kinda funny. I hadn't even been divorced a year, and the moment that thought came into my head I thought to myself, I do NOT want anything to do with thinking about marriage.

Well, the date went amazing. I was sad to see him leave and when he called me when he got back to Canada I knew I needed to do whatever it takes to keep that man. They just don't make them like him anymore and I knew God had plans for us (found out later he had the feelings I did). I can't explain it, but I just knew that we were supposed to be together. Something bigger was driving it, and I didn't understand it, but boy I sure liked it! It took a lot of work (and still does, international relationships are hard).

Since we've met we've only spent about 2 months total apart. I flew to Canada 2 weeks after he left to visit for 8 days. After I went home I realized I had NOTHING in Houston but an ex husband and a crappy job. We talked and 4 days later I was in Canada for 3 months (until my apt lease was up). Came home and packed up all my stuff and shipped it to Canada. I've been here ever since. Ring was bought 2 months after we met and we are just waiting for the right time for us to get engaged.

Wow! I realize I wrote a novel! Short version is I knew on our 2nd date!

I'm in the same boat as AMC: I like to be alone, have my alone time, as does my SO. But everything is just SO MUCH better when he's around! We never get sick of each other and we've gone MONTHS seeing each other every day without a break. I explain it to my friends like this: I am happy when SO is not around and I can have fun wo my SO but I'd much prefer to be with my SO over other people and doing other things. However I know a healthy relationship has friends, time alone, etc. so we do a mix of both to keep the balance

 

[kittybean]

Re: Ladies in waiting, how and when did you know he was "the

Like Tammy, I am not an LIW (was one not all that long ago), but I love reading and participating in these threads!

I knew about three months after our first date that he was something really, really special. There was so little drama with him. He was ceaselessly kind to me, and when I had a scary health incident while with him one evening, he took me to the hospital, sat there with me the entire night, and took care of me until he had to go to work the next morning (and my dad could take over). Although I was worried he might not want to deal wtih some of my health issues, he checked up on me almost every day and invited me to go back to his hometown and meet his parents and friends.

One evening, on that trip where I met his family, we were at a gorgeous park at sunset. It was fall, and no one else was at the beach there. I was taking pictures, and as I took one of him silhouetted against the sunset, the water, and the mountains, I had this rush of feeling that he was it for me. At that point, I felt like I was going to marry him one day. It was a crazy and intense feeling--not something I had ever experienced, despite having a few long-term relationships before I met him.

A little less than two years after that, he proposed to me at that same park on the water.

 

[kateydid05]

Re: Ladies in waiting, how and when did you know he was "the

Things were always different with my current boyfriend. It was almost effortless and we realized that we just fit together. It wasn't until about a year and a half into dating (we started dating in Oct of 2004) in February of 2006 I was hospitalized. I suffer from Crohn's and my health went into a fast decline. I had no quality of life and could barely stand up straight. I was pretty much laying down in bed most of the time. I had to withdraw from school and I was miserable. I was hospitalized from a flare and it turned out I had an absess and almost a blockage. I was in the hospital for a week. During that week he stayed with me at the hospital every night so I would not be lonely. He was by my side constantly, especially fighting for me when I did not have the energy. I ended up in complete awe of how selfless he was. If I had him, I would make it through. I came home with a PICC line and he made sure he could help me infuse my meds. The decision came to have a bowel resection and that occurred in April of 2006. He stayed with me that week too. After the surgery, I was in a tremendous amount of pain and he would help lift me out of bed so I could use the restroom. He was always near me (despite 6 days without a shower, haha) and...TMI...he even adjusted my foley catheter because I was uncomfortable. He was better than the nurses! He was (and still is) my rock. I knew after this experience, especially so early on, that if we can get through this, we can get through a lot more. I just knew that he was "it" for me. He puts me before himself and he will always take care of me and never complain. I would do the same for him in a heartbeat. It still gives me butterflies to think about those events. We celebrate 6 years together tomorrow

 

[gemma.in.waiting]

Re: Ladies in waiting, how and when did you know he was "the

I don't think there was a specific time where I just knew he was it for me, but from the very start of our relationship I knew he was different than anyone else I had dated in the past. He was/is such a gentleman and so kindhearted. He's the type of person that will do anything for you, even if he doesn't know you, and that just amazed me. Since we started out dating LD, we had a few months of nothing but talking and really got to know each other. By the time we became an official couple, we knew each other so well that we felt like best friends.

 

[HappyNewLife]

Re: Ladies in waiting, how and when did you know he was "the

swap out "he" for "she" and I knew within a couple months. I had been married before and obviously had previous relationships (all with men), but I had never had this emotional connection with anyone before. I didn't even know that it was something I could feel. Never felt it with my ex-husband, but I just didn't know it was possible. With her, I am home. I am me. I feel like my heart could burst sometimes when I look at her, even 1.5 years later. I sometimes cry just thinking about her. It's intense. And not to say that our relationship has all been lollipops and rainbows, it has been a LOT of work and counseling (mostly due to my past demons, one being my ex), but 100000% worth it because she is absolutely THE ONE for me. And despite all my demons she still wants me. Amazing.

 

[Glitz]

Re: Ladies in waiting, how and when did you know he was "the

We also think the exact same way...as in he will randomly say something and it will be something I was about to say. We jokingly get mad at each other for stealing thoughts

We do this too! It will be the most random out of the blue comment, it's so crazy! We joke around and say "get out of my brain!". When we first started dating we would always call each other at the exact same time, like when I would open my phone to call him he would be there or vice versa, it still happens now but it would happen weekly for the first year.

We talked online for about 4 months before meeting so I had a good sense of what he was all about, since day one we both didn't hide anything from each other. I was done playing hard to get, and mind games, and he was also at that point. After our first date I was totally smitten with him, but I don't think I knew right then that he was the one. 1.5 years into our relationship our apartment had a fire and everything that we owned was lost. Sometime before that point I already knew that he was the one, but the way we helped each other cope with the loss confirmed everything. We both worked hard to get back on our feet (with the help of family & friends too), everything that we own now is ours where as before things were mine (bedroom set, kitchen stuff etc.) and other things were his. That whole loss is far behind us now (2007), we just bought a house and we're looking forward to spending our lives together. Our journey has been a wild one, and our lives are both not typical of a 24 or 25 year old. I think our experience has brought us more down to earth and matured us.

So I knew sometime within the first 1.5 years (probably after our first vacation together 6 months into the relationship) and knew 100% by new years of 2008.

 

[Jessie702]

Re: Ladies in waiting, how and when did you know he was "the

C and i are along the same wavelength when it comes to thoughts its scary, we also tend to not feel well together at the same time. Like ill have a restless night and cant sleep and he cant either, but we arent sleeping in the same bed. He has a headache, ill have a headache or toothache. Its convient as fas as doing thing, but sucks because its rare one of us can take care of the other because we are both feeling bad. LoL....

I knew C was the one during Christmas of 2007 we were about 3 months into the relationship. It was when his mother got ill and passed away. I remeber the night she passed, i went to him to be with him, and we were sitting on the floor holding each other, we got a phone call that his mother was out of surgery and could have visitors, by the time we got to the hosiptal she had passed, it was no more than a 10 minute car ride. He had to sign some papers and i waited in the hallway for him, and when he came out, all i could do was cry with him. I was crying for him, and with him. We drove back to his mothers house, and sat on the floor and we both cried. We shared all of his fears with me, and all i did was listen. I think it was that day we got into each others rythems. I stayed with him that night, in his moms house and just held him. In the morning i had to drop my sister off to the airport, and rushed back to him. I think i didnt sleep for like 48 hours, because i was watching him. I didnt tell him i loved him that month, i waited , but i knew than. When its close to christmas we both get really sad, and Christmas is hell for us both, but i just hold him and let him know, im not going anywhere. ( Its really hard to type this, been 3 years, but still very fresh. I never thought i would see C cry but when i did, i felt his pain).I remeber driving over to his house, freezing my butt off, praying as hard as i could. I dont know what made me realize he was the one, i dont know if it was the helplessness, or the tears, but something moved in both our worlds that night. I know that sometimes when i look over at him, my world moves a little bit more, and my heart speeds up. Its been 3 years this Oct, and my world still moves, and im caught off guard. Ive never felt that with anyone or any ex's, so thats how i know. I hope, as silly as it sounds, that 5 , 10, 15 years down the road, when i look at him, my world moves a little bit.

 

[Miss Sparkly]

Re: Ladies in waiting, how and when did you know he was "the

Around our 5 year marriage anniversary I looked at marriage as a logical decision. He was good me, we got along well and I had no reason to let him go or not to marry him. I never realized how much I loved DH until he didn't buy anything for our anniversary and I didn't care. As long as I had him, I was happy. I feel that my heart always knew he was the one and it just took my head a long time to let go and feel it.

 

[PrincessNatalie]

Re: Ladies in waiting, how and when did you know he was "the

I always knew, he is just such a great, loving smart and perfect man, I have known the entire time. Its always been me wondering if he feels the same way. He is a more well rounded person than me and really out of my league, I feel sometimes anyhow. I am a very lucky girl.

 

[AdanaEsq]

Re: Ladies in waiting, how and when did you know he was "the

I feel similarly to PrincessNatalie. I've always thought he was amazing and since I was married before and got divorced (10 year relationship), I knew what I wanted. He's such an amazing person in general and he treats everyone so well. I can't imagine life without him now.