- Joined
- Apr 30, 2005
- Messages
- 33,703
I saw this somewhere ...
None of these questions can be answered acceptably, so why ask them?
1. "Does this ______ make me look fat?"
Whether it's a dress, shirt, or something else we don't give a crap about, there's obviously no "Yes" answer possible.
However, "no" is an equally-futile misstep, since it confirms that you do in fact look fat.
Why do you do this to us?
2. "If I died right now, which of my friends would you want to hook up with?"
There's no possible way that you want to hear our answer.
3. "Do you notice anything different?"
We notice nothing different about you. Ever. Unless it has to do with your boobs.
However, "no" is obviously the wrong choice and your insistence will force us to choose something that you haven't changed for 10 years.
4. "How old do I look?"
Picking your real age or above is relationship kryptonite.
Although most of us are smart enough to avoid that trap, a younger age means that we're lying and you can't trust us to be honest with you.
5. "Do you want to come shopping with me?"
The answer is always no. Always.
However, men who are with you fewer than 10 years will say "yes," at least the first time, and you will interpret their resentment as not wanting to be with you.
6. "Should I change my hair color?"
"No" means that we only like you for your hair.
"Yes" means that we've never liked it and want to sleep with someone else.
7. "How do you know her?"
Do you really need to know why not to ask this?
8. "Do you think she's pretty?
"Yes" leads to an even bigger bear trap, "Prettier than me?"
But "no" means we're lying again, since cars crash when this babe walks.
9. "You know why I'm mad at you, right?"
Not only do we have no idea, we would have apologized if we did, but we probably didn't even notice you were mad.
Of course, whatever answer we pull out of our butts will be just as unacceptable to you as a "no."
10. Whose panties are these?
Again, no explanation necessary.
None of these questions can be answered acceptably, so why ask them?
1. "Does this ______ make me look fat?"
Whether it's a dress, shirt, or something else we don't give a crap about, there's obviously no "Yes" answer possible.
However, "no" is an equally-futile misstep, since it confirms that you do in fact look fat.
Why do you do this to us?
2. "If I died right now, which of my friends would you want to hook up with?"
There's no possible way that you want to hear our answer.
3. "Do you notice anything different?"
We notice nothing different about you. Ever. Unless it has to do with your boobs.
However, "no" is obviously the wrong choice and your insistence will force us to choose something that you haven't changed for 10 years.
4. "How old do I look?"
Picking your real age or above is relationship kryptonite.
Although most of us are smart enough to avoid that trap, a younger age means that we're lying and you can't trust us to be honest with you.
5. "Do you want to come shopping with me?"
The answer is always no. Always.
However, men who are with you fewer than 10 years will say "yes," at least the first time, and you will interpret their resentment as not wanting to be with you.
6. "Should I change my hair color?"
"No" means that we only like you for your hair.
"Yes" means that we've never liked it and want to sleep with someone else.
7. "How do you know her?"
Do you really need to know why not to ask this?
8. "Do you think she's pretty?
"Yes" leads to an even bigger bear trap, "Prettier than me?"
But "no" means we're lying again, since cars crash when this babe walks.
9. "You know why I'm mad at you, right?"
Not only do we have no idea, we would have apologized if we did, but we probably didn't even notice you were mad.
Of course, whatever answer we pull out of our butts will be just as unacceptable to you as a "no."
10. Whose panties are these?
Again, no explanation necessary.
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