Just Want Some Opinions

[JennWit2Ns]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a bit over 2 years. He is 34 and I am 28. We talk about marriage all the time and he has said to me once he gets his job with the FDNY that it would be soon afterwards. He landed the job a month ago. He is usually the one that brings up the wedding topic, but the last 2 weeks or so he hasn''t and i''m certainly not. 2 weeks ago he was suppose to take me to NYC for the afternoon (south street seaport and empire state bldg), but at the last minute he changed his mind and when I say last minute, I mean we were walking out the door and he asked if we can go next weekend. Upset and disappointed I said fine. The next weekend (last weekened) came and went as he canceled on going again. Now he says we will go this sunday. at this point i''m not holding my breathe, but I find it weird cause he doesn''t cancel on me unless an emergency occurs. I''m thinking, or more along the lines of hoping that he keeps canceling because maybe the ring isn''t ready yet or he''s not finished paying it off. FYI-I know for a fact that he has the diamond and he''s had it since February. I know cause he told me. Any opinions, good or bad would be helpful and maybe ease my tension headache i''ve had for 2 days now.

 

[questionsRus]

maybe he realizes you know it's coming, and wants to suprise you so he's confusing you. I sometimes do things without thinking, having the best of intentions, but my gf takes them the wrong way.

 

[bar01]

You are probably going to get some differing opinions – but here is mine.

You two have been dating for two years. That’s a big investment in your time. You love each other – right? You have discussed getting married and he said he wanted to – even got a diamond. He said he wanted to wait until got his new job? He got it last month? Sounds to me like he maybe getting some jitters now that he has his job – and now he has to live up to his promise.

Since you have been together so long – I would cut him a little slack. Give him another month or two – maybe 3. Take it easy, don’t put any pressure on him for a little while. This is an important decision and worth waiting a little while longer.

Take Care.

 

[JennWit2Ns]

I hope he doesn't feel obligated to ask me now that he is settled in his job. I have never pushed him or said you better keep your promise. He said those things all on his own. That's why I haven't brought anything that has to do with marriage up in the longest time cause I don't want him to think I'm being pushy. I'm the farthest thing from being a pushy person. I don't mind if he waits 3 months, 6 months as long as we are together. I'm just anxious cause when he brings it up, I get excited. Like they say, out of sight, out of mind. He doesn't bring it up, I don't think about it.................as much..........LOL. Do you think I should ask him if he feels obligated now that he has his job? Or just leave it as is?

Thank you for your opinions. Makes me ease my thinking a lil more.

 

[questionsRus]

I am in the same situation as you, except i'm the guy Maybe 6 months ago we went and went "window shopping" so I could get a feel for what she liked, and talked about it with her for a while. Since, i've gotten a job, and have stopped mentioning it, because i want it to be a total suprise when it happens. She does sometimes think i've forgotten about it, but it's always in the back of my mind, as you can see by reading some of my threads I know it's easy to worry, but try not to - everything will work out.

 

[heart prongs]

Jenn -- I was in the exact situation you are in 1 year ago, and now here we are, getting married in just two weeks! I know what you're going through. There were times when I drove my almost-husband absolutely crazy; I just hated explaining to others why I didn't have a ring yet...
Trust me, he'll come around...He just wants to be, not so much in charge, but moreso he wants to be the man in the traditional sense. My FI wanted to wait til he was in a financial situation that he felt comfortable enough to take care of me, so to speak...In retrospect, I don't blame him...We've been together for four years and were in love enough to get married two years ago, but I can't imagine us having the ring, the wedding, and the honeymoon of dreams two years ago, at least not w/o a ton of stress...
As soon as you're engaged, I swear you'll forget about the time you spent waiting for a ring; in fact, the two of you will probably laugh about it! Try to be patient, it will all work out...kl

 

[Diamondsbybree]

JennWit2Ns, you say he has brought it up? Well, maybe he has ALREADY bought the ring, and he is afraid you will pick out the complete opposite of what you want?
A friend of mine has patiently waited for three years to shop for "the ring", little did she know, he already purchased it. He refused to take her ring shopping. They almost broke up over it. He was seriously afraid she wouldn't like it~! She ended up loving the ring

, 2.00ct solitaire.
Now they are happily married~!~!~!

 

[JennWit2Ns]

thanx for the stories. they were very uplifting. I have one myself. We had opened a joint account a lil over a month ago to save for the wedding. He had asked his mom something about a charge on our statement and she said "our statement". he said "yeah, me n jenn opened a joint account to save for the wedding". so she says "so there is a wedding in the future". he said yeah. she's just waiting for her ring. he told me this. i asked no questions, he voluntarily told me this. this is why i get so crazy at times. so, i asked him if he had an idea when. he told me that much thought he tell me a lil more. but he lauged and said he wasn't telling me. if he didn't bring ideas or things like what he was telling his mom, i wouldn't be so anxious. i know its gonna happen, just wish he would stop with the talking. i stopped bringing it up cause it was depressing me in a small way. I don't know if he's doing it on purpose to confuse me with talking about, then making a u-turn and saying not yet.

we still haven't gone to the city like in my original thread. as of today we are going saturday. the first 2 excuses, I was really upset, but last weekend, he started his 24 hour shift for the FDNY so we couldn't go. so now we are on to this saturday. so far its to be fairly nice. as long as it doesn't rain. but i won't be sad or disappointed if it doesn't happen saturday.

i'm so happy and so in love it doesn't matter (to much LOL) when it happens. as long as i have him in my life for all the years to come

thanks for the input, helps tons

 

[Diamondsbybree]

Chin up sweetie~! It is going to happen~~