just receive my daughter''s CC statement...

[Dancing Fire]

$804 bucks !!

how can i tell her to stop spending so much $$$''s ?

 

[neatfreak]

Stop spending so much money or else I will take away your credit card?

 

[Kismet]

"Stop spending so much money." And if that doesn''t work tell her she''ll be responsible for paying everything over X amount and if that doesn''t work talk to the credit card company and reduce her limit to something you''re comfortable paying.

 

[Erin]

Ahhhhh - there is a point to all of this.
When I read that you paid their credit cards I raised an eyebrow. That teaches them nothing.
Find out what you think is an appropriate amount each month. $300? $500? If it goes one dollar above that - you are through paying for it and they will be left to pay it off forever.

 

[Loves Vintage]

Huh? How old is your daughter?

I would start by canceling the card, then the next time she goes shopping, I''m sure she''ll get the message.

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 1/13/2009 11:18:13 AM
Author: Starset Princess
Ahhhhh - there is a point to all of this.
When I read that you paid their credit cards I raised an eyebrow. That teaches them nothing.
Find out what you think is an appropriate amount each month. $300? $500? If it goes one dollar above that - you are through paying for it and they will be left to pay it off forever.

exactly!

 

[sklingem]

???? More info needed ... age, what expenses etc ... ????

 

[orbaya]

Why does she need a credit card?

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Tell her to grow up and stop paying her credit card! This one is a no brainer

 

[Dancing Fire]

we open a CC for her when she went to college,but she''s back home now. she bought X-mas gifts for her friends

and i have to pick up the tab ??

i need to go back to

maybe this is only a dream. i told her to keep it under $300 per month, but $804 ???

 

[fieryred33143]

Tell her to come up with the $504 to pay the bill. If you don''t, then next month and months after may be even more.

 

[Aloros]

How old is she? Does she need a credit card? It''s so easy to go over a planned budget on a CC since you CAN.

When I was in college, my parents paid tuition, books, rent and then deposited enough $$ for a $10/day budget into my account. Obviously that was about the bare minimum for me to live on (for bills too!), so I did some extra work on the side and during the summer for my "fun" money.

I think it helps to learn money management when you have only a set amount per month - an amount that can be broken into a day-to-day budget.

It takes a little learning and some stumbles on the way (I think I got down to $0 a couple times and overdrafted a few times), but now I know where every $.01 is going, and I still keep a daily budget - extra goes into savings! I didn''t get a CC until I was in the workforce for 1.5 yrs.

 

[BlueSki231]

What! How old is she?! Wait, age doesn''t even matter...

I never had a credit card that my dad paid for growing up, must be nice...
He''d hand me a $20 once in a while, which was nice too...

How to get her to stop spending? Make her responsible for paying for it. I bet she''ll stop spending reallllly quick.

 

[orbaya]

How about a prepaid CC? This way she can''t spend more than what you are willing to pay? If she runs out of money before the month is up, then it will be a learning experience on spending money. Perhaps you could sit down with her and teach her how to budget the money appropriately so she doesn''t run out?

 

[meresal]

My parents took my CC away after I graduated and was home for a month. This is a no brainer... if she has a job then she should be paying for everything herself. If she doesn't have a job, then she needs to get one and stop spending your money.

ETA: I NEVER ran my CC bill up to $800. Mine was for gas and food only, and I knew not to cross that line. I think the $300 max limit on the CC is a good idea, if you are going to let her keep it.

 

[fieryred33143]

Also, if you really want her to keep the card and are serious about the $300 limit, call the cc company and ask to reduce the card limit to $300

 

[scarleta]

She used her 3 months allowance already so how about nothing put on her card for 3 months? She thinks your money belongs to her just let her know she has nothing until she starts making her own money and she needs to stick to your rules.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

huh? Why does she have a CC if you''re paying the bill? Her CC charges should be her responsibility. Not only should you take away the card, you should also have her work to pay you back the $804.

 

[steph72276]

How old is she? Does she have a job? Why not use a debit card instead of a cc? I would make her get a babysitting job or something else to pay off the additional amount and I would cancel the card TODAY!!!! This is not teaching her to be responsible, just how to run up credit card debt! If you want to teach her responsibility, have her open a checking account with a debit card, get her signed up for a money management program on the computer (such as Microsoft Money) and have her balance what she has coming in/going out. Paying for her friends' Christmas gifts on your dime is not showing the maturity one should have before having a credit card.

 

[Pandora II]

Sorry, but I have no sympathy. Why are you enabling her?

Why does she have a credit card that you are paying for?????

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 1/13/2009 11:35:16 AM
Author: Dancing Fire
we open a CC for her when she went to college,but she's back home now. she bought X-mas gifts for her friends

and i have to pick up the tab ??

i need to go back to

maybe this is only a dream. i told her to keep it under $300 per month, but $804 ???

Well, a long time ago when I was in college I had something similar and carried a balance for a little while until I paid it off. My parents left me to figure out how to pay it on my own which meant working extra hours. I learned my lesson and never let that happen again. Good luck DF, that is a bummer, but here is your moment to show her you won't be bailing her out which will be a very good life lesson!!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 1/13/2009 11:57:23 AM
Author: steph72276
How old is she? Does she have a job? Why not use a debit card instead of a cc? I would make her get a babysitting job or something else to pay off the additional amount and I would cancel the card TODAY!!!! This is not teaching her to be responsible, just how to run up credit card debt! If you want to teach her responsibility, have her open a checking account with a debit card, get her signed up for a money management program on the computer (such as Microsoft Money) and have her balance what has coming in/going out. Paying for her friends' Christmas gifts on your dime is not showing the maturity one should have before having a credit card.

It's beyond immature into the realm of taking advantage! Even if she does have a job, that doesn't permit her to charge items on CC. That's how that vicious cycle of debt begins. If SHE cannot pay the bill off, on her own, at the end of the month and isn't learning how to budget her money, she's going to end up being one of those individuals with huge debt hanging over her head for years.

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 1/13/2009 11:37:56 AM
Author: fieryred33143
Tell her to come up with the $504 to pay the bill. If you don't, then next month and months after may be even more.

" huh? Why does she have a CC if you're paying the bill? Her CC charges should be her responsibility. Not only should you take away the card, you should also have her work to pay you back the $804."

Ditto

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 1/13/2009 12:00:27 PM
Author: Lorelei

Date: 1/13/2009 11:37:56 AM
Author: fieryred33143
Tell her to come up with the $504 to pay the bill. If you don''t, then next month and months after may be even more.

{QUOTE}huh? Why does she have a CC if you''re paying the bill? Her CC charges should be her responsibility. Not only should you take away the card, you should also have her work to pay you back the $804./QUOTE

I didn''t want to judge his choice as a parent to provide a certain amount of money/benefits to his daughter. While I personally wouldn''t pay for a child''s cc, or I guess in this case an adult, he may have his reasons for doing so. And if that''s the case and the rule was set at $300 and he is still ok with paying the $300, then she should come up with the difference.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 1/13/2009 12:02:33 PM
Author: fieryred33143

Date: 1/13/2009 12:00:27 PM
Author: Lorelei

Date: 1/13/2009 11:37:56 AM
Author: fieryred33143
Tell her to come up with the $504 to pay the bill. If you don''t, then next month and months after may be even more.

{QUOTE}huh? Why does she have a CC if you''re paying the bill? Her CC charges should be her responsibility. Not only should you take away the card, you should also have her work to pay you back the $804./QUOTE

I didn''t want to judge his choice as a parent to provide a certain amount of money/benefits to his daughter. While I personally wouldn''t pay for a child''s cc, or I guess in this case an adult, he may have his reasons for doing so. And if that''s the case and the rule was set at $300 and he is still ok with paying the $300, then she should come up with the difference.

Nope, the daughter broke the deal. The rule was set at $300 per month and she went over that by $500 she had to have known that. If it were my child, after such a situation, I''d change the entire program, ESPECIALLY the majority of the charges (more than the extra $500) was spent on holiday gifts.

 

[snlee]

DF, I agree with the others who have said the CC should be her responsibility. If you want to continue to be generous and help pay $300 of her CC a month, anything beyond that should be her responsibility. I had a CC when I was around 18 and took care of it from day 1. I never expected my parents to pay for any of it. How else will your daughter learn to be responsible for her money?

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 1/13/2009 12:09:35 PM
Author: MC

Date: 1/13/2009 12:02:33 PM
Author: fieryred33143

Date: 1/13/2009 12:00:27 PM
Author: Lorelei

Date: 1/13/2009 11:37:56 AM
Author: fieryred33143
Tell her to come up with the $504 to pay the bill. If you don''t, then next month and months after may be even more.

{QUOTE}huh? Why does she have a CC if you''re paying the bill? Her CC charges should be her responsibility. Not only should you take away the card, you should also have her work to pay you back the $804./QUOTE

I didn''t want to judge his choice as a parent to provide a certain amount of money/benefits to his daughter. While I personally wouldn''t pay for a child''s cc, or I guess in this case an adult, he may have his reasons for doing so. And if that''s the case and the rule was set at $300 and he is still ok with paying the $300, then she should come up with the difference.

Nope, the daughter broke the deal. The rule was set at $300 per month and she went over that by $500 she had to have known that. If it were my child, after such a situation, I''d change the entire program, ESPECIALLY the majority of the charges (more than the extra $500) was spent on holiday gifts.

And I agree with your method and if it were my child I''d probably do the same (although still wouldn''t give a child a cc). But in this case as I mentioned maybe DF is ok with paying the $300 and if that''s the case, anything above that should be her responsibility.

I also think that if you are going to give your child/adult a cc and it bothers you to pay for certain items, such as gifts to friends, then you should specify that the cc should only be used for specific items...like school books or supplies or meals, etc. and have that child/adult responsible for any items purchased outside of what was agreed to.

Or you can just take away the credit card as suggested by others.

 

[geckodani]

Date: 1/13/2009 12:13:54 PM
Author: snlee
DF, I agree with the others who have said the CC should be her responsibility. If you want to continue to be generous and help pay $300 of her CC a month, anything beyond that should be her responsibility. I had a CC when I was around 18 and took care of it from day 1. I never expected my parents to pay for any of it. How else will your daughter learn to be responsible for her money?

Ditto.

 

[movie zombie]

its simple: she broke your rule, you cut up the card and cancel it with the company. what''s so hard to understand about that?

movie zombie

 

[sklingem]

Date: 1/13/2009 11:35:16 AM
Author: Dancing Fire
we open a CC for her when she went to college,but she''s back home now. she bought X-mas gifts for her friends

and i have to pick up the tab ??

i need to go back to

maybe this is only a dream. i told her to keep it under $300 per month, but $804 ???

Assuming that she has graduated - your daughter is an adult! I am not here to judge living arrangements (some people make their children contribute to rent/food if they move back in) but I would expect my child out of college to earn her own money and to pay her own bills (imagine that!). If my child did not have ANY job for some reason (I know, even part-time jobs are hard to get) I would LEND her/him a maximum amount per month to spend and make her/him pay me back later. Pre-paid CC/debit card sounds like a smart idea. Now is the time to clamp down and not let this get out of control and set a bad precedent/form bad habits!!!
R.