Just need to vent about co-workers!

[chiapet]

I feel like I''m being so petty but I''m so frustrated with 2 of my co-workers. I''m the newbie in the group and they''ve all been working together for 7-8 years. I feel like they give me a hard time about everything. Today is the last day of school and I decided to take my old spot in our classroom (which they had forced me to give up last year). Since that corner will be empty in the fall, I plan to take back that spot. One of my co-workers is super bossy and have been arguing with me about this issue for the last 2 months. I started moving some of books and supplies to that corner today and she went on and on about how I can''t take that spot. She annoyed me so much that I just started bawling because I was so frustrated. So we ended the school year on a really bad note and I feel terrible about it. But at the same time, I don''t think I did anything wrong by taking an EMPTY space that I occupied last year anyway. I just don''t get it. I feel like my co-workers are pushing me out and acting like those girls in Mean Girls. ARGH!!!
Sorry, I just needed to vent! I''m not going to let this ruin my summer vacation ... but I don''t know how I''ll be able to work alongside those girls next year. Ugh.
Thanks for "listening"

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Bottom line: stand your ground.

If you''re a push over, they will continue to push. But letting them know that you''re not going to be bullied by them is first step towards getting them to leave you alone and let you be. If they say mean things or harrass you, tune them out, find something to keep you busy--or pop in your earbuds and listen to some music (if that''s allowed)...I know that''s harder than it sounds, but it''s the only option unless you''re willing to verbally engage them (and if you are, I''d be happy to help you with that, too

).

Sometimes b*tches go up against someone simply to get a reaction, because they are bored or jealous or miserable old wenches...so if you''re just numb to them eventually they''ll get bored and move on because you aren''t playing into to their nonsense. Or better yet, they''ll stop seeing you as an easy target and gain respect for you in process. Either way, keeping out of their drama as it pretains to you is going to serve you best in the long run (unless, of course, you''re up for telling them off--which might not get you as far, but will be satsifying in it''s own right

).

Ultimately, all you can do is be yourself. If they don''t like you...oh well, you''re not there to make new best friends, you''re there for a paycheck.

 

[chiapet]

[/quote]

Italia, I''ve been repeating that to myself for the last 2 years and have been toughing it out but I just hit my limit today. But you''re right, it''s a job and I''m not there to make new best friends. I think I need lessons on how to toughen up my skin and be less sensitive. It doesn''t help that I''m not a confrontation kind of person and most of the time I let things slide just so I can keep things peaceful. Is there a course on How to be a Bitch?

 

[Barcelona]

I agree with Italia. If you stand your ground, they will lose interest since they won''t get their way. I have a coworker who tries to engage me in a fight all the time and I refuse. It drives her crazy!

 

[monarch64]

I''m not a teacher and I don''t claim to understand classroom politics such as you''re describing, but I''m with the other posters who advise you to stand your ground. It seems to me that it''s not you who''s being petty, but them. Good luck!

 

[Sabine]

I agree that you should stand your ground, and if you feel comfortable, maybe say something to them?

I was the new teacher in a group of teachers who had been friends for a LONG time. Luckily, they were all very nice to me, but there were times where they would all go out or hang out together after school and just wouldn''t think to include me and I felt incredibly left out. Eventually, I started inviting myself if I heard them talking about stuff, and once I went to one thing, they started including me a lot more. Made life a ton easier! Good luck! Teacher cliques can be hard to crack!

 

[phoenixgirl]

You''re right to stand your ground. I''d say something like, "The school is contractually obligated to give me a workspace, and this is the only available space. I understand that you would prefer to have this space open, but that''s not possible. A corner is the best place from a pedagogical standpoint to place my workspace; it disrupts the flow of the classroom as little as possible and I can observe the students better from here." Then I''d walk away/keep moving my stuff.

Is there any chance she''ll move your stuff herself while you''re not there or complain to an administrator? I''d try to think of all the possible options and cut her off at the pass. You might want to document these encounters and/or conduct them over email (so you can print them out if they ever complain about you). If there is a trusted administrator who wouldn''t think you were wasting his/her time with personality conflicts, I might drop by quickly to say, "I wanted to let you know that X and Y and I are having a disagreement about my workspace. There is only one available corner in the room, but they don''t want me to take it, but neither are they offering me an alternative. I wanted to let you know since it''s become a really big headache and I obviously am guaranteed a workspace in the classroom. I think it''s more a personal thing, but that doesn''t mean I can just not have a place for my teaching things."

I sometimes have a problem with bullies at school (sad that we''re talking about teachers here, not students); I think it''s because I am stoic and reserved, which that type of person can mistake for being a pushover. As I am not a pushover, however, and am actually more stubborn than the average person, these encounters often end quickly and, in my opinion, humorously. I just firmly refuse to do/change whatever they ask, they look surprised, and they leave. This works from the janitor who tries to get us to do his job for him (doesn''t "like" to clean chalk trays, among other things), the teacher who wants me to give up my free period to watch his/her class, or the truly unstable teacher who tries to tell me what to teach. "That''s not my job, and I''m not going to do that." Then walk away. There''s no discussion when the other person''s request is ridiculous.

 

[chiapet]

Sabine, you''re absolutely right. Teacher cliques are definitely very hard to break. Sometimes I feel like I''m back in middle school when I have to deal with these girls. But I''m not the only one they pick on. It''s just bad luck that I have to share a room with them.

Phoenixgirl, I don''t think she''ll move my stuff or complain to the admin. Another teacher agreed to take my old spot and the mean girl wasn''t very happy about it but she couldn''t say anything else since we worked out the arrangements already. I don''t understand why people find such pleasure in bullying other people. I''m usually pretty calm and stay out the school drama but it''s hard to stay out when someone directly attacks you.

I''ve never been happier about summer vacation!

 

[Mannequin]

Sorry your coworker is being obnoxious, chia! Phoenix gave you great advice on documenting encounters with this person. Do you have a union or union rep who could get involved if needed in addition to administration?

Try to enjoy your wench-free summer break!

 

[Diamond*Dana]

I am sorry that you are dealing with this, I cannot stand clique-y people. I agree with Italiahaircolor, stand your ground! Eventually they will get bored if they are not getting a reaction out of you. Good luck!