Find your diamond
Find your jewelry
shape
carat
color
clarity

Just need some comforting words

autumngems

Brilliant_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 24, 2003
Messages
1,696
My teen daughter suffers from depression as I do, though her is more seasonal. She is seeing a counselor and counselor says she has anxiety. She's having a rough time right now (senior year HS, lots of stress). No medication prescribed yet.
She is constantly texting me/calling me from school, this hurts, that hurts, I need to talk to you. and I am at my wits end. I know she's hurting, but I can't let her miss anymore school for fear she will not pass her class, and I know it will pass. She says she needs her mom and feels like I just leave her and I know she says this to make me feel guilty and let her come home.
Her moodiness I fear will begin to affect her relationship with her boyfriend and if they break up it will be a full on meltdown.

I feel guilty I have passed this on to her (runs in my family). I've cried my eyes out lately. I just need some reassuring words that this will pass.
 

Marquise_Madness

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Feb 28, 2016
Messages
294
autumngems said:
My teen daughter suffers from depression as I do, though her is more seasonal. She is seeing a counselor and counselor says she has anxiety. She's having a rough time right now (senior year HS, lots of stress). No medication prescribed yet.
She is constantly texting me/calling me from school, this hurts, that hurts, I need to talk to you. and I am at my wits end. I know she's hurting, but I can't let her miss anymore school for fear she will not pass her class, and I know it will pass. She says she needs her mom and feels like I just leave her and I know she says this to make me feel guilty and let her come home.
Her moodiness I fear will begin to affect her relationship with her boyfriend and if they break up it will be a full on meltdown.

I feel guilty I have passed this on to her (runs in my family). I've cried my eyes out lately. I just need some reassuring words that this will pass.
It's not your fault for "passing it on to her" because there can be stressors such as school, the election, her relationship, and other things.

She needs to see a new counselor outside of school and see a doctor who can medicate her. Is she doing college? Maybe she shouldn't go immediately and take a year off to focus on her mental health.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

telephone89

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Aug 29, 2014
Messages
3,883
Hugs to you autumngem! You sound like a wonderful parent, please don't feel guilty! Have you discussed with her what she would like to do? IE get a tutor, switch to online schooling, etc.
 

distracts

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Oct 11, 2011
Messages
5,529
Is there any particular reason she's not medicated? Getting on a SSRI was the only thing that saved me emotionally. It may not pass without that. I went to therapy for years and years because my parents thought it would pass and was just some sort of teenage phase and as a result I didn't get properly medicated until my early twenties, by which time not only did I have a wake of destruction in my past but plenty of bad coping habits that it took years to unravel.
 

ruby59

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 5, 2004
Messages
3,553
Yes, what telephone said.

Maybe a different school with smaller classes.

Or even just a year with a tutor until you can find a medication that will help her.

Anxiety runs in our family. Some inherited it, other did not.

My mother in law was very nervous, my husband is as calm as can be.

Please do not blame yourself. Others factors can influence it.

And even if you did, it is an illness like anything else.

My father had a bad heart. I do not blame him because those are the genes I inherited.
 

autumngems

Brilliant_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 24, 2003
Messages
1,696
She is in HS and here they have a senior project that makes up most of their grade in English and she is really stressing about it, (she struggles with school as well). She is supposed to start college next summer for Dental Hygiene and I am afraid if I suggest she wait that she will think I don't believe in her or that she can do it.

She started seeing her counselor (outside of school) last week.

Depression runs in my family (myself, sister, father and grandfather) and in my spouses (father).

I am afraid to have her get meds as I know how they can change you. Mine made me so quiet and zombie like and she is only 18, I don't want to see her lose herself as she can be so lively and funny and don't want to see her become a zombie.
I'm just lost as to what to do...........
 

ruby59

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 5, 2004
Messages
3,553
There are many new meds out there and she may have to experiment a bit with type and dosage.

If it were seasonal or hormonal I would say wait and see.

But if she cannot cope and is miserable then I would take her to a good pediatric psychiatrist and learn about your options.
 

lovedogs

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 31, 2014
Messages
11,379
autumngems|1479151589|4098324 said:
She is in HS and here they have a senior project that makes up most of their grade in English and she is really stressing about it, (she struggles with school as well). She is supposed to start college next summer for Dental Hygiene and I am afraid if I suggest she wait that she will think I don't believe in her or that she can do it.

She started seeing her counselor (outside of school) last week.

Depression runs in my family (myself, sister, father and grandfather) and in my spouses (father).

I am afraid to have her get meds as I know how they can change you. Mine made me so quiet and zombie like and she is only 18, I don't want to see her lose herself as she can be so lively and funny and don't want to see her become a zombie.
I'm just lost as to what to do...........

The bolded is a 100% valid concern, and I get where you are coming from. However, I tend to think of it as a cost benefit type thing. For may, depression/anxiety makes them turn into someone else and be far less lively, joyful, outgoing, etc, as they were before the disorder. So it may be important to recognize that if she's already changed (e.g. she's acting different because depression/anxiety) it might be worth considering medication. There are SO many medications these days...sometimes it takes trial and error, which can be frustrating, but it might be worth a try if things are getting to an unmanageable point for her. I tried 3 medications before finding the one I'm on now (and have been taking it for 7 years now), and my only regret is that my parents were against medications so I didn't try them until I was in college. I'm definitely not trying to compare you to them, just giving a perspective of someone who was struggling with this in HS and looking back now I desperately wish I had realized how much better things could be. I also found that therapy was 100% more useful once I was on medication, and I think of it like this: Before I was on meds, therapy was like learning to walk with 2 broken legs. I conceptually understood the things I was being told to work on, and it was certainly better than no therapy, but I never really felt like I was making huge progress. Once I was on the meds it felt like finally someone re-set the bones in my legs, so I could finally ACUTALLY learn to walk. Sorry for the long post and silly analogy, but just something to consider.

Either way you seem like a wonderful parent, and you have NOTHING to feel bad about. Genetics aren't anyone's fault--these things run in families and you are doing exactly the right thing by supporting her and reaching out for help/opinions.


EDIT: this is a ROUGH time of year for someone with seasonal depression. I also suffer from this a bit (although much much better now) and find myself getting anxious and sad when it begins getting dark so early. I would consider getting one of those light boxes--they really helped me. The ones from "alaska northern lights" is seriously great (http://www.alaskanorthernlights.com) and helped me feel significantly better. It always used to help me to mark the day on the calendar that was the shortest day of the year (Dec 21st this year), and just count down to it, because after that each day gets a bit longer. I still find it helpful for myself to remember that Dec 21st isn't that far away, and when I know the days are getting longer I start to feel significantly better.
 

distracts

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Oct 11, 2011
Messages
5,529
autumngems|1479151589|4098324 said:
She is in HS and here they have a senior project that makes up most of their grade in English and she is really stressing about it, (she struggles with school as well). She is supposed to start college next summer for Dental Hygiene and I am afraid if I suggest she wait that she will think I don't believe in her or that she can do it.

She started seeing her counselor (outside of school) last week.

Depression runs in my family (myself, sister, father and grandfather) and in my spouses (father).

I am afraid to have her get meds as I know how they can change you. Mine made me so quiet and zombie like and she is only 18, I don't want to see her lose herself as she can be so lively and funny and don't want to see her become a zombie.
I'm just lost as to what to do...........
There are many medications that WON'T make you feel that way. Sometimes you have to go through a wrong one (or several, unfortunately) until you get on the right one. I am on Lexapro and I feel more like myself than I do when I am depressed. When I am depressed I am a zombie emotionally and all I could feel regularly were anxiety and despair, punctuated with brief bits of amusement. Once I was solidly on the SSRI, I started being interested in things again, was able to talk to my friends again, enjoy my hobbies again, feel things OTHER than depression. With the antidepressant, I have a "normal" emotional balance - I feel sad when it is appropriate, instead of all the time. If she is put on a medication and after a couple months she is not being her lively and funny self anymore - that is the wrong medication and you need to try something different.

And just because she looks happy or lively and funny to you doesn't mean she IS happy - if she's a senior in high school and calling/texting you all the time, that is a HUGE cry for help. She wants you to fix her feelings because she can't do it on her own. I know what it is like because this was MY story in high school. A lot of people were shocked that I was depressed because I seemed so outgoing and joyful to them when in reality I felt only pain and was wildly suicidal. Even my parents didn't realize how bad it was despite me telling them until I had an incident that made them realize.

I also agree with lovedogs that therapy was 100% useful once I was on medication. Before I was on medication, I was ONLY made up of despair and pain. I couldn't focus on anything other than keeping myself one step into the light so I wouldn't kill myself - asking me to focus on study habits or anxiety-reducing techniques or whatever was waaaaay more than I could handle because I was literally in survival mode. Once the depression receded, I had enough emotional ability to do other things.

And like Lovedogs, I also have a lightbox. I have several from http://www.sunbox.com/ I find that for me they do not improve my mood on their own - when used without antidepressants they just stabilized any mood swings. With antidepressants they seem to reduce anxiety. Since you're supposed to look into it for about 20 minutes in the morning, I put it on my vanity and use it as my makeup light (NOTE: do NOT have anyone who is self-conscious do this as it makes every pore stand out in sharp relief).

That depression runs in your family is to me even more of a reason to get her on medication as it is clearly a chemical imbalance rather than a situational issue.
 

Bonfire

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Feb 22, 2014
Messages
3,420
As if high school isn't already stressful enough! Would seeing a different therapist and more often possibly help? As a mother it's hard not to blame ourselves for everything. Comes with the territory. Try to stop that thinking. God only knows what we pass on to our children in our DNA. Hugs!
 

CJ2008

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Dec 31, 2006
Messages
4,750
autumn I'm not a mom nor do I know enough about depression or anxiety to give you any advice.

But I still wanted to stop in and give you a (((hug))).

I hope this passes soon.
 

tyty333

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Dec 17, 2008
Messages
22,712
Hugs autumngems...

autumngems|1479151589|4098324 said:
She is in HS and here they have a senior project that makes up most of their grade in English and she is really stressing about it, (she struggles with school as well). She is supposed to start college next summer for Dental Hygiene and I am afraid if I suggest she wait that she will think I don't believe in her or that she can do it.

She started seeing her counselor (outside of school) last week.

Depression runs in my family (myself, sister, father and grandfather) and in my spouses (father).

I am afraid to have her get meds as I know how they can change you. Mine made me so quiet and zombie like and she is only 18, I don't want to see her lose herself as she can be so lively and funny and don't want to see her become a zombie.
I'm just lost as to what to do...........
With respect to the drugs...sometimes you have to attack anxiety with something that will work quick. If it renders her emotionless,
then the docs can cut back or try another drug. Sometimes it takes a while to hit on the right drug for a certain person. Find a good
psychiatrist that is willing to work with you/her. I'm not sure if she is over 18 or not.

Dental Hygiene school...to be honest, depending on how she is doing I would suggest that she postpone starting anything that is
going to cause more stress until she is in a situation where she is on an even keel with her meds and doing well for a while. I would
hate for her to have to drop out...but you still have 6 months before it begins. I would get her started on some kind of meds to
help her now. My son sufferered with anxiety for a semester and now his grade point average is so low I'm not sure what its going
to take to get it back up. I know how anxious I started to feel knowing that he was dealing with anxiety. It was really tough.
I had to keep reminding myself it would do him no good if I started feeling anxious for him. It couldnt be helped to some extent.
We were able to get him on some meds that he responded to and he is back to his good ole self...he is still not sure what he is going
to do about school :(.

Dont forget to take care of yourself.
 

AGBF

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 26, 2003
Messages
21,849
autumngems|1479148308|4098290 said:
My teen daughter suffers from depression as I do, though her is more seasonal. She is seeing a counselor and counselor says she has anxiety. She's having a rough time right now (senior year HS, lots of stress). No medication prescribed yet.
She is constantly texting me/calling me from school, this hurts, that hurts, I need to talk to you. and I am at my wits end. I know she's hurting, but I can't let her miss anymore school for fear she will not pass her class, and I know it will pass. She says she needs her mom and feels like I just leave her and I know she says this to make me feel guilty and let her come home.
Her moodiness I fear will begin to affect her relationship with her boyfriend and if they break up it will be a full on meltdown.

I feel guilty I have passed this on to her (runs in my family). I've cried my eyes out lately. I just need some reassuring words that this will pass.
autumngems-

When I read this I wondered if you might not benefit from another thread which has been ongoing on Pricescope, one that provides support for parents of mentally ill young people (and other relatives of mentally ill people).

Your daughter is certainly not chronically mentally ill, but I think that you might find the people in this group helpful to you.

I have gone through what you are going through. It helps to talk.

Hugs,
Deb

Link...[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/when-enough-is-enough-mental-illness.218645/page-11#post-4084326#p4084326']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/when-enough-is-enough-mental-illness.218645/page-11#post-4084326#p4084326[/URL]
 

ecf8503

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Feb 14, 2005
Messages
3,810
Depression / anxiety / bipolar disorder run in my family too, and I am also afraid I "passed it on" to my daughter. She's only 13 now, but has struggled with mood swings her entire life. We agreed to start her on Zoloft about 2 years ago, after years and years of counseling. I can say she is a completely different person now, but in a very good way! I take meds too, and I know how much better I feel with them than without. The correct med is out there - anxiety, depression, etc are biochemical imbalances, and if a med can help restore normalcy and make life easier and more enjoyable, I'm all for it. I didn't *want* to medicate my daughter, no one does, but I can say it is the best thing we ever did for her.
 

Bron357

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 22, 2014
Messages
4,717
I'm sorry you and your daughter are having a difficult time. I too suffer from anxiety and continue to take a low dose as I find it helps just enough. My other stress reducing activities are colouring in books, walking and, don't laugh, a fur pillow which I can stroke. I also use lavender scented candles or aroma sticks and will play relaxation music in the background. From my own experience it takes quite some time to recognise the escalation of symptoms but I found the trick is to divert to one of my relaxation techniques as I'm feeling overwhelmed. Your daughter will benefit from counselling and probably medication as she learns to manage her symptoms. And please don't blame yourself,it won't help you or her. And I'll add, people who suffer from anxiety tend to be aware, sensitive and caring people, these are fantastic traits to have but come with the downside. Encourage your daughter to see the good aspects of her personality as she learns to manage the more difficult aspects of being who she is. She will make an excellent Dental Hygenist but my need to step back a bit for the time being. And anxeity is a critical part of being human, it helps us perform to our best, but when it comes on too fast or too often it becomes very difficult to live with. Sending both you and your daughter a big hug.
 

azstonie

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 1, 2014
Messages
3,758
I'd like to share some books with you that my students/parents have gotten a lot of help from, and a book that helped me personally after decades of misdiagnosis from caring and well-intentioned professionals. Don't get hung up on the titles---"bipolar, etc."; titles are usually drummed up by book editors/staff to sell books, they don't represent the actual content or thrust of the book frequently. Bipolar was 'big' after Catherine Zeta Jones came out as having bipolar II and book titles capitalized on that.

The middle book, by Jim Phelps, has the BEST material on medication that I've read and its a book I was referred to by a psychiatrist at Mayo Clinic. I'm not bipolar I or II but I was feeling terrible and I was willing to consider ANYTHING that might help me out of the hole I was in. I'm glad I read this book prior to considering medication. I'm not arguing for/against medication but psychiatric medications are not well understood by those who prescribe them, and are typically not well explained to patients who then don't know the real risk profile or how to evaluate efficacy/side effects.

img_20161114_154009_kindlephoto-33583263.jpg
 

azstonie

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 1, 2014
Messages
3,758
Autumngems, the pic with the 3 books in it, the Phelps book please get (Amazon) before your daughter starts medication/s. Read the section on medication.

The books that flank it have excellent how-to-live advice and tips for anyone at any age who is trying to move their lives forward while dealing with some tough emotions, moods or thoughts. Self-care. In your case, autumn, as your daughter matures she is going to want to be able to self-comfort and problem solve, deal with her uncomfortable feelings. Feelings and thoughts LIE and until a person understands this, they are at the mercy of them. The titles don't matter; in fact, rip off the covers if you think they might distract your DD or be too "diagnose-y." Diagnoses are narrow and are labels made for insurance companies to approve the prescription of medications and procedures/surgeries; they are just very limited labels.
 

momhappy

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 3, 2013
Messages
4,660
Oh, autumngems, I'm very sorry you're dealing with that. It sounds so tough. I wish that I had more to offer, but I don't. I do hope that things get better for your family. Hugs to you.
 

nala

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Oct 23, 2011
Messages
4,916
Since you asked for reassuring words, I can share a story with you. My neice who is now 21, went through extreme bouts of depression. They started her sophomore year in high school. My sister allowed her to do independent studies and didn't pressure her academically. In fact, all she wanted was for her to skein through the day. And then she attempted suicide. At that point, she put her on meds and it took an while for hermit find the right ones. This and therapy helped. She finally graduated from high school and entered a vocational program and has a full time job! We are so proud of her. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Forgot to add that she is happy now and still on medication.
 

Tacori E-ring

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 15, 2005
Messages
20,039
It is not your fault. I understand you have hesitation about medication but I think you have to weigh the pros and cons. I would suggest taking her to a psychiatrist that specializes in treating young adults. They are harder to find but would have more insight and knowledge on how to treat her. The right medication should not make her zombie like.
 

distracts

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Oct 11, 2011
Messages
5,529
Tacori E-ring|1479176440|4098595 said:
It is not your fault. I understand you have hesitation about medication but I think you have to weigh the pros and cons. I would suggest taking her to a psychiatrist that specializes in treating young adults. They are harder to find but would have more insight and knowledge on how to treat her. The right medication should not make her zombie like.
Yeah I would say if you can find someone who treats young adults, rather than a pediatric psychiatrist, that would be better. I had only horrible experiences with pediatric psychiatrists and after multiple of those I am firmly of the belief that they are not appropriate for anyone in high school.
 

Gypsy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 8, 2005
Messages
40,198
I know you asked for words of comfort.

I am going to give you those. But I am also going to give you a little advice.

I know I am not a mother. But please do not discard this advice based on that. I am a daughter and an aunt and I suffer from depression and anxiety.

Depression and anxiety are serious conditions, especially in teens. And I imagine you feel helpless and overwhelmed yourself. And guilty. Very guilty from the sound of your post. Also you are stuck on your own experiences with medication and they are coloring your ability to help her and to get her help.

You know when you are on a plane and they tell you that in the event of a problem put the your own mask on first?

Well this is the same thing. Your judgement right now is compromised.

I am going to say that again: your judgement in compromised.

You are reacting from a place of guilt. It is coloring everything you are doing with your daughter. You blame yourself for her condition. You feel helpless. You are ANGRY at yourself. You blame yourself.

YOU have to get to healthy place YOURSELF. You cannot help a person suffering from depression and anxiety if you are drowning yourself.

I am not trying to add to your guilt and self recrimination.

But I have seen this... several times. And parents who are dealing with issues like this that feel responsible for their children's condition tend to go one of two ways, in my experience. One they get overwhelmed from the guilt and they give into that. And in doing that stop parenting, stop setting boundaries, and let the children have their way. Which goes poorly. Or they get angry at their failure and start taking it out on the kids in passive aggressive ways. Which goes poorly as well.

YOU need to get YOUR head on straight. YOU need the support from a CBT therapy, from medications possibly, and YOU need the tools to cope with this as a parent.

This isn't just happening to your daughter. It is happening to both of you. And you will both drown if you don't get the help you need.

There is hope. Lots of it. Your daughter CAN get through this. If your daughter's therapist isn't a CBT therapist switch her to one as well. And she CAN he healthy. But she can't get there alone. She needs you. And she needs you to work through YOUR guilt and YOUR recriminations so that you can be the parent she needs.

((HUGS)) this is terribly hard on you. But there is a LOT of hope. BUT YOU HAVE TO GET YOURSELF HELP.

And also, consider joining a support group for parents of children going through this. Validation and support are important for you too.

Also you need a psychopharmacologist for medication management. No pediatric anything. You need someone who specializes in TEEN medication management. Teens have different physiology than we do.
 

Dancing Fire

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 3, 2004
Messages
32,447
Hugs autumngems :!:
 

AGBF

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 26, 2003
Messages
21,849
When I first visited this thread, I was having trouble with my computer and typing was difficult. It limited how much I could say. My daughter, who had had no problems at all except separation anxiety when she first went to school, right up until sixth grade suddenly developed problems at around age 12. It was not due to the onset of puberty; menarche had started at age 10.

My daughter had always been a very average child. I said that I never got a call from the school (which was true). I was never called because she was behaving badly and I was never called to be told she was being placed in a gifted class. She was highly musical, played every instrument that was ever put in front of her; could focus like no one else on earth; got excellent grades through hard work, not brilliance; and was a nice kid.

Then in the sixth grade, something started to change. She started paying boys to open her locker. She started to do homework for boys. She came home every day and went right to her room and did homework for two hours or more. She had straight A's except for a "C" in an advanced math class. (She had been put into an advanced math class, pre-algebra, instead of sixth grade math). (I later found out she "had" to get straight A's because if she made any errors in her homework, the boys would get mad at her! She was supposed to earn them perfect grades!) At the end of the school year there was a bus trip to the town beach and no one wanted to sit with her. She realized she no friends. She had been happy all year, she said, because didn't realize it. Then when she did realize it, she felt bad. In short, she was a mess. That summer we moved from Connecticut to Virginia, totally changing her life.

To shorten the story a bit, things did not improve. Something had come over her. But I thought it was adolescence. Or that it might be. Nonetheless, I brought her from Virginia back up to Connecticut to see a psychiatrist I knew and trusted. (I am a social worker.) (He was an adult psychiatrist and usually did not see people under 18, but agreed to see her as a favor to me.)

He is a psychiatric pharmacologist and really specializes in medication, but he did not push drugs onto my daughter. He saw her as mildly depressed, but thought it was a borderline situation.

When she was 15, however, she made a serious suicide attempt that led to her first psychiatric hospitalization.

In my daughter's case it took years for her real problem to become clear, that she was bi-polar (bi-polar I). I had not seen it at all. There were no clear manic episodes I had noticed, just a lot of rage, which I had taken as adolescent aggression.

I will not go into our whole story, but even with a diagnosis like my daughter's, there is hope. As children age, the brain matures. I cannot tell you how much that helps. My daughter's psychiatrist predicted a great deal of progress over time, and he was right. In the meantime, the right medication can do wonders, even if it isn't a complete cure. And sometimes it is a complete cure. Try to find a good psychiatrist. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

Hugs,
Deb
 

jaaron

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 1, 2016
Messages
837
I want to add my hugs for you.

I have three, and one of the three has struggled with bouts of anxiety and depression. One thing to keep in mind is that in addition to any seasonal issues, times of transition (out of high school) can be very difficult. I know this is easier said than done, but I do think it would be good if you can find a firm but loving way not to let her guilt you into allowing her to come home-- my own experience and belief is that for kids who struggle with this, routine and boundaries help in the long run.


Our doctor was also very helpful in explaining to my daughter that the mid-teens to early twenties are years where people are physiologically more prone to anxiety and depression and that it often wanes a few years down the road. I know it doesn't change things in the moment, but my daughter found comfort in the idea that things wouldn't always feel this way. She (the doctor) is a big proponent of medication, and while it was something that was always on the table, we resisted for a long time and white knuckled it with talking therapy and CBT. As she was going off to college, everything ratcheted up and we decided to try medication. It did take a few tries, but with the help of a psychiatrist who specialised in adolescents, she did eventually find the right combination. She stayed on it for about two years and then tapered off. Not only did the meds help in the short term, I think knowing that there is help out there if this hits again has been a very valuable thing for her.

As far as the dental hygiene program goes, I think only you guys can make that decision. In my daughter's case, I know that having something that kept her out and about and engaged was both stressful and helpful, with the helpful outweighing the other. She does thrive on routine and business and flounders with too much free time on her hands.

Best of thought to you both.
 

Bayek

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
May 11, 2013
Messages
7,374
Hi Autumn, I saw this when I was reading my usual news. It seems you are not alone.

http://www.nbcnews.com/health/mental-health/depression-worsening-teens-especially-girls-n683716

I have sons, but my younger son is almost anorexic, how he went handled being chubby from middle school was to shrink.. he's still very very thin at 25. So he is not a kid or a high schooler anymore. But the pressure of high school and the high school he attended was very very competitive, and he put pressure on himself. But I never detected any depression per se, but I did worry (and still do).

I wish I had pulled him out of Westwood and either home schooled him or placed in a small school, the pressure is enormous. When I was young we had Twiggy and Cher.. today God, the thinness the constant barrage of pix of 'perfect girls' is enormous, the push to succeed is huge. I truly send you hugs and truly caring thoughts. You are a wonderful mother.

much love.
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
42,001
autumngems, I am so sorry you and your DD are dealing with this and you have received some excellent advice and comfort here.
I am sending good thoughts and big hugs your way and with your love and support and medical (psychiatric and counseling) help your DD will be OK. (((HUGS))).
 

azstonie

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 1, 2014
Messages
3,758
Autumn, I get absolutely 0 guilt from your post. Zero.

I've worked with high school students and parents for many years. (What I thought might be your situation was caregiver fatigue, but only you know what your experience is.)

People may project their own struggles and issues on to you, has nothing to do with your reality.
 
Be a part of the community It's free, join today!
    Something Blue
    Something Blue
    November’s Jewels Of The Weeks
    November’s Jewels Of The Weeks
    Upgrade to Five-Stone
    Upgrade to Five-Stone

Need Something Special?

Get a quote from multiple trusted and vetted jewelers.

Holloway Cut Advisor



Diamond Eye Candy

Click to view full-size image.

New posts

Top