Jewelry and bugeting (yes, I'm a nerd)

[rubybeth]

I'm looking for some insight into how PSers budget for or fund their diamond/jewelry obsession.

I'm the budget guru/financial nerd between me and my DH, keeping track of every last penny and playing with my spreadsheets for fun. We have a comfortable amount in the savings account and are working to pay off our student loan debt, which is our only debt. We are renting until we've settled into our jobs (both been in our positions about a year). I also have a wishlist of jewelry I'd love to have (some more modest items like small diamond studs and bigger things like an anniversary ring, etc.) but feel kind of ridiculous saying, "Honey, we have to stick to the budget, BUT I really want this $700 sparkly thing that doesn't do anything useful!"

We do have 'fun money' that we each get each month, in cash, to blow on whatever we want without any explanation to each other, but that is usually nickel and dimed away on going out with friends, movies, etc.

So, what do you do? Put aside a set amount each month that you can use on whatever you want? Have separate accounts and just spend how you please? Something else entirely? And do you have to justify your purchases or is it just understood that you can get what you want as long as it's not too crazy? Any thoughts welcome!!

 

[elrohwen]

I'm in a similar position to you - our only debt at the moment is DH's student loans, but we're looking at houses and will soon have a mortgage to pay off. If we were going to continue renting long term I wouldn't have a problem with saying, "Hey, can I take some money and buy studs?" but as it is we're saving every penny we can. When I think about having diamond studs now or having extra money to put towards our down-payment, I just go with the down-payment.

It's kind of pain, but in this stage of life I think it's necessary. Once the house is purchased and any initial repairs/remodeling are completed I can start stashing money away for diamonds.

eta: I guess I wasn't any help! Haha. You could always put a small amount away every month that you and DH agree to - maybe $50 or something. It would take quite a while to build up enough for what you want, depending on price, but at least you'll be working towards it instead of waiting around.

 

[rubybeth]

That does help, Elrohwen, thanks! It does sound like we are in very similar situations. I could definitely raise that idea with DH and see what he thinks. He may want an XBox fund to match my bling fund, but I'd be okay with that.

 

[Lula]

That does help, Elrohwen, thanks! It does sound like we are in very similar situations. I could definitely raise that idea with DH and see what he thinks. He may want an XBox fund to match my bling fund, but I'd be okay with that.

Yes, that's how my husband and I worked it out. Jewelry is where my luxury item and "hobby" money goes now. DH has his share of hobby money to spend as he likes. And the stuff he spends it on...well, we just agree not to give the other grief about our choices, ha-ha.

 

[jewelerman]

Ive posted this story before on the site...when i decided i wanted a larger diamond in my collection and would have to save and plan for it(i decided i wanted a three- six carat brilliant cut of high color and clarity)i opened up a diamond savings account and put $100 from each weekly pay check towards the stone. to acculturate the savings i would add to the account by denying myself other things like going out to dinner or full price movies or buying junk food and candy at the store ect.all the extra saved from not indulging myself went to the diamond fund. i saved for 5 years and at the end of that time i had found the stone i wanted...even though i was smaller then the six carat(2.54)and not as high a quality as i wanted((si-1,k color) it had an above average cut and was a lot less money then expected...i had enough left in the account to pay cash for a 6 month old Toyota and buy a one carat princess cut diamond(si-1,I color) besides...i also did this with a Rolex watch and had enough left over to go to Hawaii.When im focused on saving for a goal i don't spend on spur of the moment things.

 

[tyty333]

We have no debt...except we still have 3 kids to get through college (they have pre-paid college funds) and retirement for
us so still plenty to save for. I basically only get jewelry on big dates. 2 years ago I got my 5 stone wedding band on
our 10th anniversary. Later this year I have a bit birthday coming up and I'm shopping for something big (well, big by
my standards, maybe not PS standards ).

We dont buy anything big for each other for Valentines, anniversarys, birthdays or Xmas. Only small gifts. That way
I sort of save up the money from all those events and sometime during the year I can buy myself something a little
nicer than if I had a gift for every event. BTW, I am in my upper 40's...pretty much have everything I need (with the
exception of jewelry) and dont work so dont need a lot of "extras" that a job may require.

 

[Lady_Disdain]

Jewelry comes out of my fun money, competing with dinners out, movies, books etc. So, if I want to buy a nice piece, then I cut back on other fun things and save up. If I would rather have dinners and books, then I will have to forgo jewelry.

I hate having to choose between travel, jewelry and books.

 

[JewelFreak]

I hate having to choose among anything instead of jewels! I want to do my usual stuff and STILL buy them, but life didn't provide me with a trust fund, pity.

Every single time I go to gem sites I see something I'm just itching to have. DH is retired & I'm not working either; the only debt we have is my car payment, so I can buy a stone here & there. To keep things under control, I try to remember 2 things:

1) What am I gonna do with it? Not working, I get dressed up much less often than I used to. I can only wear so many rings. Earrings, yes, but that means finding pairs, which eliminates a lot of the gems I fall for. Bracelets are expensive to have made at current gold prices, don't wear necklaces much. Having stones unset is still fun but not as much fun as wearing them in all kinds of lights, etc.

2) There will ALWAYS be the next irresistable jewel, no matter how many I have. We've all had the experience of buying one, then soon seeing one that's better color, bigger, nicer cut, and thinking, Gee, I wish I had that one! With difficulty that helps me pass on many I'd love to get. Then I don't feel guilty when I do spend money.

Currently I'm dying for the 32+ct Morganite asscher on Roger Dery's site; holy cow, it's SO BEAUTIFUL, clean, gorgeous cut, I adore the color. I don't know his price for it but at around $450/ct for Morganite in general, I doubt it's gonna find its way to my house. I know I'll continue to survive without it, but it's touch & go!

--- Laurie

 

[missy]

I save up my gift fund by skipping Christmas/Hanukkah, Anniversary and Valentine Day gifts and then my dh gets me one big jewelry gift when I fall in love with a piece of jewelry. I am currently looking for a pair of diamond earring drops but no success. I have been looking for months but am confident the right piece of jewelry will come my way. I am in no rush. One year I found my holiday/anniversary/Valentine's gift in June

 

[Circe]

We tend to be sort of intuitive about the budgets - like, if we're making X and we have Y saved, Z is how much we're spending on presents. That said, I'm sort of the Empress of Cheapness in other categories: I don't think I've bought clothing that isn't vintage or off the sale rack of a discount store in, oh, a decade. Knowing I got the smashing wool trousers that make me look like a million bucks for $5 makes me feel somehow less guilty about getting the bling that underscores the impression ....

 

[Octavia]

Rubybeth, I'm in a similar situation. I graduated from law school in May and have a fair amount of debt from that, plus a little from undergrad. I've had my eye on a pair of diamond studs for ages now (I was hoping to get them as a graduation/passing the bar gift to myself) but there always seems to be something more important to put the money toward. I really want to build up savings, since I completely wiped mine out when I was in law school. We already have this summer's vacation planned. And I really feel like any extra money I have should be put toward aggressively paying down my student loans. So it doesn't really leave much in the budget for the earrings...Basically, what I've decided is that I need to reach a certain amount in savings and pay off a certain amount of my loans before I can start putting money aside for jewelry. Once I reach those "bottom-line" goals, I will divert some of the savings money into a jewelry fund, but that probably won't be for several more months. Oh well, it's what I'm comfortable with, it's just not much fun.

 

[marcy]

I used to teach as an adjunct at a community college (until last May). That money was used for 2/3 fun money and 1/3 bills (like license plates, golf for a year, RV insurance, taxes). DH likes watches as much as I like jewelry and gemstones so he'd get one check, I'd get the next one, etc. It's been rough adjusting to that loss of income. I am going to have to work on a saving fund now.

 

[that_someone_special]

I'm in the camp that if anyone has student loans, pay those off and worry about stuff later.

 

[rubybeth]

Thanks for all the input! I did bring up the topic with DH last night and just asked him to think about what he'd be comfortable with and not to decide anything right now. He has taken up winter camping again recently and bought a bunch of needed gear (which was fine with me, I wouldn't want him to freeze!). So, I just asked him what he thought was a reasonable amount to spend each year on a hobby like camping, supplies for which I will never have need of. That got him thinking...

Ty and Missy, I like the idea of foregoing other gifts for holidays and just getting one big gift when you find the perfect thing. That could definitely work for us.

Circe and LadyDisdain, I'm a cheap-o when it comes to clothes and other things. I work at a library and never buy books or DVDs, which helps, too. My main budgeting vice is eating out, but even that is about once a week or less at someplace like Chipotle. We're also skipping vacations/travel until the debt is gone.

Marcy, I've thought about picking up an adjunct librarian position at the nearby university! Not sure I could convince DH that the money earned should be for fun things...

JewelFreak, I do a similar thing. If it's something I keep going back to or admiring repeatedly on PS, then I add it to my wishlist. So many pieces are so beautiful, but I do have a definite idea of what I'd do with a loose gemstone when I buy it, or how often I'd wear something.

Octavia and Bean, student loans are the worst, especially right now when we could get a mortgage at a better interest rate! Ugh. We have nearly paid off all of DH's loans and then we'll tackle mine. By conservative estimates, we should have them paid off in less than 2 years' time, which will save us something like $25K in interest vs. taking the full 20 years. I just don't think we should be totally deprived of fun things while we pay them off, otherwise we'd get bitter and angry.

 

[that_someone_special]

rubybeth! yay! That is good news. I also have student loan debt and between that, our mortgage, and and a few other things, I am just pouring almost every last cent that we have into home projects and debt/ savings. It's so hard. I am a shopper/ spender. lol

 

[4ever]

We each have our own seperate accounts and then a joint spending and savings account.
Wages go into our personal accounts and we put most of it strieght into the joint spendings and keep a bit in our personal accounts which is for our fun money and/or personal savings. The joint spending account pays for rent and food and petrol etc and then we put what is left over (which is alot of it) into the joint savings account which we don't take money out of.

We are saving for the wedding and then a house, and I am saving for some sparkly earrings

I think having a set amount as personal spending money is a great idea, it means I don't care one bit if he buys a lightsaber or lots of dvds or computor stuff, and he dosn't care if I buy clothing and sparklies.

 

[Pandora II]

DH and I still have separate accounts. Our only debts are our mortgages, so when I was working I had a standing order at the bank which paid him my half of mortage & bills each month.

Whatever was left in my account was my money to do with as I pleased. I am a master at bargain hunting and rarely buy anything in the way of clothes unless they are 70% off in a sale, on eBay or at a retail outlet. I have no interest in brand labels unless it also means quality in the sense of great fabrics, great cut and a classic piece that will last.

I have an allowance each year for gemstones and try to stay within it - luckily I'm very picky and I also collect garnets which are more affordable than if I was collecting something like rubies! I also don't set my gemstones so I don't have to worry about that cost.

 

[rubybeth]

Bean, I am so excited to not have student loans anymore, it's ridiculous

4ever and Pandora, I like the idea of a yearly allowance for bigger fun purchases. DH and I used to have separate accounts but it got complicated for larger bills so we now have a joint account into which our paychecks are deposited, all bills are automatically paid, savings is deducted, etc. Taking out cash each month for 'fun money' helps to keep that spending in line and fair between the two of us. I have a professional administrative position, whereas DH gets to save the world working for a non-profit part-time, so our wage disparity is pretty significant. But, I still think we work equally hard (he moreso probably some weeks when he gets overtime) and should enjoy being fully employed after our 2nd degrees.

 

[partgypsy]

I totally agree about somehow budgeting it, because it makes it more enjoyable and less guilt-tripping.

When I changed jobs (made more) and became obsessed with jewelry, I worked out with my husband a 1K a year budget for jewelry. This worked out because I don't spend much money on such thing as haircuts, clothes, bags, or other such maintenance, so he was fine with it, as he said some women spend that much on manicures and haircuts in a year! It meant for example, I had to save up a couple years to get my anniversary ring (the diamond 1 year, the setting the next).

However while I made the same, we ran into a few years where we had medical, other expenses come up, so I voluntarily gave up my jewelry spending during that time. Now that we are (hopefully) through that, I find my focus has changed and would rather have say a new bathroom than a new piece of jewelry. And we are talking about for our 15th anniversary it would be nice to go on a trip just the 2 of us, which we haven't done since the babies came 8 years ago. Of course it would be nice to have it all but just being realistic.

My husband has a similar but smaller budget for comics. He either has to save up for them, or sell other comics to fund the spending.

 

[partgypsy]

Also while I was "saving" for my purchase which was going to be a demantoid from Linton, it got sold
So waiting/delayed gratification can also reduce the amount of purchases made...