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Isn''t this supposed to be about us? haha

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firstbase32

Shiny_Rock
Joined
May 12, 2006
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366
So I def. was extremely niave when the minister marrying us told us that not matter what people say...the wedding is not about us. He said that during his wedding he noticed everyone would say "do what you want this is your guys day," but in reality if they did something not everyone agreed with...they def. would hear it from them

I''ve noticed this lately...i''ve had relatives complain about us not inviting their ex-cousin-in-law...i''m just like WHAT DO I CARE IF THEY''RE THERE OR NOT!?!? And by them complaining I could almost careless if they showed up. We''ve also had people complain about stuff we''ve registered for. My fiancee''s g-ma complained that we registered for a total of 24 towels (in reality it''s 28 but what''s it to her?) We registered for enough towels for us and then enough incase we have guests come and stay just so it would be convinient for them. They don''t have to buy every single towel...so why do they care?

Also I''m getting sick and tired of people talking to me and making an issue out of something when it''s not. My mom tried telling me that I needed to talk to my bro about why he''s not my bestman. She for some reason belived that he thought he may be the bestman...when I asked him to be a groomsmen and never specified him being the bestman. It is not an issue and she made a big deal about it...my mom''s the most calm person in the world and for her to go crazy and act like that surprised me a ton....



WHY DO PEOPLE LOSE THEIR FREAKIN'' MINDS WHEN WEDDINGS COME UP!?!?!
ok...i''m done venting :)
 

Jas12

Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 16, 2006
Messages
2,330
You make me laugh...and I have to agree that that whole "do what makes you happy" thing is a bunch of rubbish. Not that it isn''t possible (i am making up 90% of the plans for my wedding) but don''t expect the people around you to subscribe to this adage! Everyone is a critic, everyone gives their annoying 2-cents and people even give their strong opinion while in the middle of stating why you ''shouldn''t'' listen to peoples demands!?!

Take a deep breath, pick your battles and known that it''s par for the course!
 

sumbride

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 17, 2006
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3,867
Weddings can truly bring out the worst in people. I''m trying my best to ignore it but your vent was well placed! We all understand!

My FMIL doesn''t like the dress that my jr. bridesmaid picked out. I let the 10 year old girl pick it out with her mother, and I approved the choice. But the mother is the ex-daughter-in-law and thus WRONG in everything she does, so FMIL hates the dress. She doesn''t have to wear it... her granddaugher does... and her granddaughter is so flippin excited about the dress that I''m trying, TRYING, to ignore FMIL. If the Bride and the wearer of the dress (AND her mother) like the dress, what''s the problem? If it were for anything but a wedding, it never would have come up.

The towels thing was hilarious! I don''t think you can ever have enough towels! I think we maybe registered for 10 sets, but we have limited storage space and only 2 bathrooms. If you get all your towels, you can always put some away and bring them out later when you need fresh ones. Of all the things to complain about, right? At least it wasn''t 28 place settings!
 

Gypsy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 8, 2005
Messages
40,198
Well, let me tell you that everytime I''ve heard, "do what makes you happy" It''s usually, implied that the statement REALLY means, "You''re going to do whatever makes you happy, since you obviously don''t CARE what I think." Do whatever makes you happy does not mean, just that. There''s a whole LOT of other implied junk in there.

As for weddings making people crazy... they just do. Dwelling on the why is just going to drive you batty. Accept, ignore, and move forward.
 

firstbase32

Shiny_Rock
Joined
May 12, 2006
Messages
366
Well and the thing with the registry that ticks me off is people ask about stuff we registered for...like we just randomly ran around with the gun thing and scanned things. To them...it may not make sense...but we registered for stuff for a reason. And what about the people who buy crap off the registry but don''t scan it to get it so that you don''t get 2 of the same thing? Or.....even better....the people who buy you crap that you registered for in one thing...but buy you a different style or color.....I just want to be like BUY US WHAT WE ASKED FOR BECUASE YOU''RE MAKING IT MORE TROUBLE FOR US!!! lol...i mean i should be appreciative of the gifts...but it''s just crazy haha


My last thing.....people not RSVPing for my fiancee''s bridal showers....only 5 people have RSVP''d but through word of mouth over 20 are going to show up and already bought a gift....i mean C''MON YOU JUST CHECK YES OR NO!! Also with the wedding....we were going to do names for the seats...but since no one is deciding to RSVP we just said forget it because we''re not going to cram it in whenever the last week and fifty people RSVP lol
 

ladyciel

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 24, 2007
Messages
1,769
I think mothers going insane over weddings is genetically decided or something. I had a friend whose mom SWORE in TEARS to her daughters that when they got married she wouldn''t be psycho mom. "My mother decided almost everything for my wedding, and I hated it. Girls, your weddings will be your own, I promise you." *insert huge hugs and tears here* This episode occured shortly after my friend''s engagement; she was the first of the 4 sisters to get married.

Predictable end of story: Mom was pyscho. She had an opinion about everything, the bride''s dress, her shoes, her hair, the food - the bride was screwing all of it up and just couldn''t see! (HAHA)

Oh, and then pyscho (divorced) mom apparently told dad that she was dying of cancer because she thought he wasn''t putting enough money/attention towards the wedding.Ohhhhhhh buddy.
 

San Diego Bride

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 9, 2006
Messages
392
ah yes, the wedding craziness. i remember it well....

i actually got a lot of crap about NOT having a registry among many other things. but since you mentioned the registry... my husband and i are in our 30's and we had everything we needed. we very specifically told people that their presence at the wedding or their well wishes from afar (we only had ~45 guests) would be their gift to us. for those that insisted on more, we provided the names of our favorite charities on our wedding website. i thought this was very clear, relatively simple, and perhaps even a nice gesture. i thought people might like it. i was quite wrong. i could not believe the amount of CRAP i got for this!!! and we're not even talking about from people who wanted to buy a gift! i got crap from people that weren't even directly involved.... "why did you pick THOSE charities", "you NEED a registry", "who does THAT", etc. well, you know who does that? US, that's who! i hesitate to even mention the fact that yes, we still consider ourselves married despite the lack of a formal wedding cake, a garter toss, a church, formal favors, fancy invitations with vellum (apparently a serious requirement), a veil (GASP!) and all of the other random things i'm forgetting.

ok, deep breaths.... clearly i'm not over this yet. our friends were wonderful with the planning and beyond, but i guess that's why their our friends. family members, aquaintances, people who overhear your conversations at the grocery store... they're a different story.

you just can't win. my advice... give up. succumb now. tell people you take 12 showers a day and therefore need 28 towels. tell them you had one too many beers prior to picking your registry items. hell, just tell them you made whatever decision it is that's being questions purposely and specifically to irk them personally! have fun with it. then get married. live happily ever after. and be prepared to stand in long return lines whereever you've registered.
 

anchor31

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 18, 2005
Messages
7,074
firstbase - My sympathies. It seems like weddings do bring out out worst in people, and I''m not sure what we can do except grin and bow, and try to ignore them.

Just like ladyciel''s friend, my mother promised she wouldn''t be a motherzilla because her own mother was... But she''s upset about my dress because it''s strapless and obviously it can''t be comfortable (um, who''s wearing it?), she''s upset because I''m letting my girls pick their dresses and they probably won''t match (so?), she''s upset because we''re paying for an open bar and apparently everyone will get drunk and drive home drunk and have accidents (what, because it''s a wedding people lose all common sense?), she''s upset that we''re not having a High Table (I just don''t want one, get over it)... And I''ve just begun planning, so the worst is probably to come. Sometimes I just want to tell her that I''m sorry there were some aspects of her wedding that wasn''t like she would have wanted because of her mom, but could she please let us have our own? We don''t really care if it''s not what she would do or like.

And then there''s my sister who''s being horrible because she''s completely freaked out that I''m getting married and doesn''t want to hear about it, and she''s supposed to be my MOH (thanks, sis'', I really appreciate the support). And my FMIL hates me because I''m "taking her son away from her" (he''s 25, woman, get a grip), is trying to guilt us into inviting our cousins (did I ever mention we have huge families? No thanks, I''ll stick to the 90 we have without the cousins), is trying to convince us that we should ask our guests to pay their way in to save money (excuse me?) and instead of contributing to the wedding costs wants to give us a fridge that we. Don''t. Need. GAH!

Sorry to have turned this into a personal rant... But you''re not alone. I don''t know why weddings do that, but your minister is right. It often is about everybody else but the married couple. I mean, why do they even care that you registered for 28 towels? What does it matter to them? They''re not the ones who are asking for it! Why can''t them just buy something off your registery and be happy with the fact that it''s what you want and it''ll make you happy? I''m afraid I can''t help you there!

On a side note, I find it quite refreshing to see a groom vent.
 
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