Is this really bad luck?

[pichuchy21]

My fiance and I are having a Thursday wedding and a very small wedding at that. It''s at 6 so that will give our working friends who are in town enough time to make it there after work. My fiance friends just called and asked if they can stay at our house the night before. I asked them to call my fiance after 10pm tonight when he gets home from work and I told them that we really don''t have room for them to stay here, but that they shoudl talk it over with him. I reminded them that I emailed everyone a list of local hotels and pointed out which was the cheapest one 40$ a night. So his friend goes on to ask me where am I staying the night before so I said in my bed where else. He goes on to say that it is Bad Luck for he to see my future hubby before the actual ceremony. Is this true? That day I was planning on running all my errands...makeup, hair, etc. by myself and then meeting Fiance at ceremony location. Should I stay at a friends house the night before? UGH I am so confused. Someone please tell me what I should do. Thank you.

 

[Dreamgirl]

Well, I consider it bad luck. I thought it was sort of a tradition that the groom doesn''t see his bride after rehearsal up until the wedding, but times have changed and it seems like so many couples just do whatever they want to do. I guess it depends on how you feel about it. But for me, Id stay somewhere else or make him stay somewhere else.

(I think it also builds the excitement to see each other for the wedding as well.)

 

[robbie3982]

Your FI''s friend is correct that it''s a common superstition that it''s bad luck for the bride and groom to see eachother before the wedding, but I guess whether or not it''s actually true has to be determined by whether or not you believe in superstitions.

 

[brazen_irish_hussy]

Nope. My parents saw ech other and have been happily married for 24 years. My FI and I are going to spend the night before together and we aren''t worried at all. Frankly, seeing each other that night or not is not going to make or break the wedding, that''s silly.

 

[Dreamgirl]

This reminds me of how photographers seem to think its great to have a "bride and groom see each other before the ceremony on the wedding day" photo shoot. I don''t like that idea. Its not the actual "wedding" itself and I even think thats even bad luck. Id rather him see me walking down the isle the first time in my gown. I think the photographers are trying to convince people that they can take more pictures of you, makeup wont be messed up..etc...but I still don''t even like that idea.

 

[pichuchy21]

Thanks you guys. I am a very superstitious person, but I really wouldn''t have anywhere to stay. I can''t stay at my one friends house because she works and my other friend will not even be in town that day. I really only have like 2 friends in this town we just moved here like 7 months ago. The only other thing would be to rent a hotel room, but we are on a TIGHT budget especially now that my position got cut 2 weeks ago and I have no income. I guess I will try my best to avoid him that day maybe sleep in seperate rooms or something. IDK I will run it by him and see how he feels. Gosh I swear I can''t wait till this is over with it is too stressful.

 

[goldenstar]

Its totally your call. Yes that''s a common superstition but do I think that seeing the groom before the wedding will GUARANTEE a horrible outcome? NO WAY!

Its up to your preference, you should do what you feel comfortable doing.

 

[Rhea]

It is a superstition but I really don''t understand it''s place in modern society. What could possibly be better than waking up next to the person that you love the most, that you choose to be with, on the day you get married?

 

[pichuchy21]

I am going to talk it over with him and see what he thinks we should do. I personally don''t mind seeing him that day, but I gotta see what he thinks.

 

[purrfectpear]

Date: 6/18/2008 3:35:46 PM
Author: robbie3982
Your FI''s friend is correct that it''s a common superstition that it''s bad luck for the bride and groom to see eachother before the wedding, but I guess whether or not it''s actually true has to be determined by whether or not you believe in superstitions.

Yes, well, let''s talk about the circumstances under which that superstition was born shall we?

Young ladies were not living with their FI''s, they were living with mom and dad (with the exception of some older bride to be''s who had their own apartment). It was a LOT easier to say "don''t let him see you before the wedding day" when you lived in completely different houses.

I say do what makes sense for you logistically, not some silly old fashioned "rule" a bunch of women from the early 1900''s cooked up. Just don''t walk under any ladders, or let any black kitties cross your path, OK

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I guess it depends on how traditional you are---I told D that I''d been waking up next to him every day for several years and I would be waking up next to him the day we were married. We woke up together and had a nice walk along the beach and said mushy things--then we parted ways in the same spot where we were to be married a few hours later. I think I said something like "I''ll see you back at this spot at 4--I''ll be a in dress! Then you''re stuck with me forever!". It was lovely

So it really just depends on what YOU want!

 

[bee*]

I don''t believe in superstitions so I''d do whatever you''re happy with.

 

[trillionaire]

LOL, now, if you were staying with him AND sleeping in your gown, and he in a tux, I would say, probably not a good idea... Otherwise, carry on! I can''t imagine how excited I would be to spend our last night together before being married, I would be positively buzzing, and probably unable to sleep. What an exciting time. When I am stressed, SO balances me and makes me calm. I imagine I would need that more than ever before wedding hoopla!

 

[pichuchy21]

NEL-that was so romantic!!! I am not a traditional person and really am not even having a traditional wedding. To be fair I will tell him about the folk tale and we will decide together.

Purrfectpear-Thanks for the history lesson.

 

[absolut_blonde]

Superstition aside, I want the first time SO and I see each other on the ''big day'' to be when I''m walking down the aisle. I just really like that tradition. And I know he does as well.

I do want some quiet alone time for a few mins right after the ceremony, mind you. I guess some people might get that out of seeing each other beforehand.

 

[sumbride]

I''ll tell you one reason why it''s a good idea to be apart... one of my friends was SO STRESSED the day before her wedding that she and her FI had a big fight, picking and picking and picking at each other, the day before. When he dropped her off at my apartment to spend the night with me he asked her if she was sure she''d be at the church the next day! I spent the night calming her down, feeding her wine and telling her it was all going to be ok. She went to the church the next day completely calm. But I think the main cause of her stress had to do with her PARENTS staying with them the week before the wedding! Talk about stress!!! If this is your situation, definitely don''t spend the night together. If not, it''s up to you!

I spent the last night at my parents'' house because the wedding was in my hometown. My mom loved it because it was "one last night together" even though I moved out 12 years before. DH was at the hotel with all his friends, having a BLAST while I tried to relax, destress, and sleep. It was good. I definitely appreciated being able to stretch out.

We did see each other before the ceremony and I''m so glad we did! We had a gigantic wedding and there were so many people that I would not have been able to see his face for quite a bit and would have missed that "first moment" look. Instead he came into the room with just me and the photographer, we turned around and saw each other, and the pictures are fantastic. The moment was private, beautiful and special. I wouldn''t have missed that for the world. We kissed a bit and talked about how excited we were about the wedding and how we were so glad it was finally here. Then I said "I''ll see you in a bit... over there." and he went back to his area. Nobody else saw us together, just the photographer. It was such a great moment.

 

[pichuchy21]

Thank all of your for your advice. Fiance and I talked it over during his lunch break and we are going to do it how I was planning. Spend our last single night together and then the morning of we part ways so that I can got get ready hair, nails, make up, etc. and he will do the same and then we will meet at the ceremony location. This way is more practical for us and if it''s meant to be it will be. Thanks again.

 

[tenfour]

it''s only bad luck if you believe in that sort of thing. on my wedding day i could break a mirror while opening an umbrella indoors as a black cat crosses my path and still have a fantastic marriage. that said, the only time i won''t be with my guy on the wedding day is the time it takes me to get ready.

 

[Gwyn]

As said above, it is considered "bad luck" to see your fiance the day before the weddding. HOWEVER, so isn''t.....

An itch inside your nose
Getting out of bed left foot first
Singing before breakfast
Red and white flowers together
Putting a shirt on inside out
A picture falling
Black cats
Spilling salt
A bat flying into the house
An owl hooting 3 times
3 butterflies together
Looking at the new moon over your left shoulder
A 5-leaf clover
Seeing an owl in the sunlight
Changing a horse''s name
Unless you were born in October, the wearing of an Opal will be ill-fated....


The list goes ON and ON! I think you should do what you plan to do, and not worry about it! There are enough things that could cause you stress that day, dont let this be one of them
Hearing a rooster crow at night

 

[pichuchy21]

Thanks Gwyn. I am def. not going to stress about this. A decision has been made and we are sticking to it. Life is too short for me to be worrying about the little things. If his friends are so concerned with it being bad luck....well when they get married they can make sure they follow this "tradition" He will not see me all dressed up until the ceremony so he wil be just as surprised as if I would have not seen him at all that day.

 

[choro72]

Date: 6/18/2008 4:50:22 PM
Author: NewEnglandLady
I guess it depends on how traditional you are---I told D that I''d been waking up next to him every day for several years and I would be waking up next to him the day we were married. We woke up together and had a nice walk along the beach and said mushy things--then we parted ways in the same spot where we were to be married a few hours later. I think I said something like ''I''ll see you back at this spot at 4--I''ll be a in dress! Then you''re stuck with me forever!''. It was lovely

So it really just depends on what YOU want!

Huh...I always thought that it''s most romantic to stay away from FI for the night and shock him in my dress walking down the isle. But this post is giving me a new perspective. It sounds so sweet!