Is this ''passing gas'' etiquette?

[Elegant]

So, I apologize for being so blunt, but this post comes after having had a conversation with my friend.

Now, I am not sure if she has had etiquette training or this is just something that wealthy women do or are taught in like debutant training, but she told me that she does not pass gas in front of her husband. She says she goes to the bathroom and lets it rip there (those are my words, not hers...

) and has not let her husband hear her do it.

I don't think this is cultural. She is Caucasian and lives in Orange County, CA. She also has a 2 ct. diamond engagement ring...is that what I am doing wrong?

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 7/2/2009 11:02:54 PM
Author:Elegant
farSo, I apologize for being so blunt, but this post comes after having had a conversation with my friend.

Now, I am not sure if she has had etiquette training or this is just something that wealthy women do or are taught in like debutant training, but she told me that she does not pass gas in front of her husband. She says she goes to the bathroom and lets it rip there (those are my words, not hers...

) and has not let her husband hear her do it.

I don't think this is cultural. She is Caucasian and lives in Orange County, CA. She also has a 2 ct. diamond engagement ring...is that what I am doing wrong?

Um, not to offend anyone, but I thought that is what all polite people did. At least go away from other people. That is what my SO does, and what I do as well. I would be mortified if he heard me pass gas. I mean, only my brother still thinks it's funny to let 'er rip anywhere he is, regardless of company...

Well, him and the dog...

And I'm black, with no ring, and have lived in Baltimore, LA, Kansas City and Raleigh, so I'm going to agree that it's probably not cultural...

 

[*Danielle*]

I am also Caucasian and living in Orange County, CA and the SO has heard it. It depends on the person and the people.

 

[neatfreak]

Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.

Therefore-private is the way to go.

 

[luckystar112]

We don''t have any qualms about this. I was embarrassed when we first started dating, but one wrestling match got ''er outta me. If you had any idea how much of a role gas plays in our relationship you''d think we were weird, so I''ll stop there. lol.
I have a little over one carat, so I guess you can throw that in the mix.

 

[Lauren8211]

SO has never heard me fart. I was just raised that you don't do that in front of people, you go to the bathroom.

He farts in front of me, but I've kind of trained him that if he can help it, to leave the room. I don't want to sit in the room and smell it if I don't have to.

If something slipped out on accident.. no big deal... but I just don't like the idea of just farting all the time in front of one another if it can be helped. Romance killer, IMO.

ETA: Caucasian, Lived in Michigan all of my life, and with my Fiance for 4 years. 2.2 ct diamond.

 

[KimberlyH]

DH has only passed gas in front of me once, and he was embarrassed. I am less shy about it, but it''s never intentional. It''s not a cultural thing for me, it''s a raised by parents who found social graces imperative thing for him.

 

[HollyS]

". . . is that what I am doing wrong? "

No.

At some point, there will be a pfreet that you cannot help. Normal people fart. As you get older (yes, I''m referring to myself), we have more frequent issues in this area. They don''t call us old farts for nothing!

Of course everyone attempts to remove themselves from close range and be as discreet as possible. But it happens; it certainly isn''t humiliating when you are close to/living with/married to the other person. You excuse yourself, maybe have a giggle over it, and move on.

And I''ll tell you a story to illustrate why it''s no big whoop:

When DH and I were dating, early on really, I was trying to get him out the door after a date . . . but he kept talking. He had his coat on, ready to go, we were standing at the door . . . and he just wouldn''t go. Meanwhile, I''m contorting my legs and squeezing the cheeks to keep from, you know. I needed him to go! And then he made me laugh. And as I laughed, the pent up air started escaping like someone letting the air out of a balloon. Pfreet. . pfreet. . .pfreet. . .pfreet. . . until there was no more. By the end we were on the floor, laughing our heads off. And we never again worried, either of us, about nature''s little release valve causing us embarrassment.

I''m just sayin''. There are better things to get angsty over.

 

[BlueSki231]

ummm.. I''ve always said that if I''m not comfortable enough to fart in front of my boyfriend, it''s just NOT going to work out between us.

Initially when we first start dating, of course, it''s avoided and embarrassing.. but come on! eventually you spend so much time together how can you hold it?!

 

[TravelingGal]

TGuy and I met in Europe while backpacking. We were together 24/7 and it wouldn''t have mattered if I or he saved it for the bathroom, all was audible. We lost the shyness pretty quick because I wasn''t about run around with a 25 pound pack and a stomachache.

Honestly, I kind of feel sorry for women who are so mortified to be human in front of their mates. I''m not advocating starting fart wars or anything, but geez, just be real. I have "perfect" gal pals that won''t take a dump with their man in the house and if it''s an emergency will go to a different room and turn on the shower while doing the deed.

Plus when I was pregnant, I wasn''t about to hoist my fat a** off the couch to go to the loo every time I needed to cut the cheese...I would have been living in the bathroom.

 

[Linda W]

Date: 7/2/2009 11:43:35 PM
Author: HollyS
''. . . is that what I am doing wrong? ''

No.

At some point, there will be a pfreet that you cannot help. Normal people fart. As you get older (yes, I''m referring to myself), we have more frequent issues in this area. They don''t call us old farts for nothing!

Of course everyone attempts to remove themselves from close range and be as discreet as possible. But it happens; it certainly isn''t humiliating when you are close to/living with/married to the other person. You excuse yourself, maybe have a giggle over it, and move on.


And I''ll tell you a story to illustrate why it''s no big whoop:


When DH and I were dating, early on really, I was trying to get him out the door after a date . . . but he kept talking. He had his coat on, ready to go, we were standing at the door . . . and he just wouldn''t go. Meanwhile, I''m contorting my legs and squeezing the cheeks to keep from, you know. I needed him to go! And then he made me laugh. And as I laughed, the pent up air started escaping like someone letting the air out of a balloon. Pfreet. . pfreet. . .pfreet. . .pfreet. . . until there was no more. By the end we were on the floor, laughing our heads off. And we never again worried, either of us, about nature''s little release valve causing us embarrassment.


I''m just sayin''. There are better things to get angsty over.

Holly this is too funny. When my hubby and I were first together "as friends" I tried to hold it in too. Sometimes you just can''t.

 

[luckystar112]

Date: 7/2/2009 11:55:10 PM
Author: Namaste
ummm.. I''ve always said that if I''m not comfortable enough to fart in front of my boyfriend, it''s just NOT going to work out between us.

Initially when we first start dating, of course, it''s avoided and embarrassing.. but come on! eventually you spend so much time together how can you hold it?!

That''s how I feel too. I can''t imagine excusing myself to go to the bathroom every time or feeling ashamed. It''s a fart! Do people excuse themselves to the bathroom when they have to burp? A little toot never hurt anyone.

 

[Linda W]

Date: 7/3/2009 12:02:24 AM
Author: luckystar112

Date: 7/2/2009 11:55:10 PM

Author: Namaste

ummm.. I''ve always said that if I''m not comfortable enough to fart in front of my boyfriend, it''s just NOT going to work out between us.


Initially when we first start dating, of course, it''s avoided and embarrassing.. but come on! eventually you spend so much time together how can you hold it?!

That''s how I feel too. I can''t imagine excusing myself to go to the bathroom every time or feeling ashamed. It''s a fart! Do people excuse themselves to the bathroom when they have to burp? A little toot never hurt anyone.

Ummmm unless it is a nasty old smelly one, like my brother does.

 

[zhuzhu]

When one of us farted, we said "Tisha (our cat)! why did you do it???"

 

[Haven]

I call 'em "poots" and I try to keep my poots to myself, thankyouverymuch.
In the five years that I've been with my husband, he has never heard me poot. He has heard me burp, though, because sometimes I just can't hold those in.

I will do the "running water" thing when I'm in the loo, too, if he's nearby.

I don't feel ashamed about doing any of these things, but I don't want *anyone* to hear me doing them, either.

It's kind of like singing--I do a lot of it when nobody else is in earshot, but for an audience? Never!

 

[Linda W]

My hubby and I have been married for almost 28 and a half years, but together for 30 years. We have done everything in front of each other. I guess we are like old shoes together.

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 7/3/2009 12:01:38 AM
Author: TravelingGal
Honestly, I kind of feel sorry for women who are so mortified to be human in front of their mates. I''m not advocating starting fart wars or anything, but geez, just be real. I have ''perfect'' gal pals that won''t take a dump with their man in the house and if it''s an emergency will go to a different room and turn on the shower while doing the deed.

Plus when I was pregnant, I wasn''t about to hoist my fat a** off the couch to go to the loo every time I needed to cut the cheese...I would have been living in the bathroom.

Hahaha ditto! I am surprised that so many people don''t let ''em rip in front of their SO/fiance/husband! Let''s just say my fiance and I do NOT leave the room when we need to toot! We might give each other fair warning or go to the other room if it''s really bad, but we have no problem ripping one in front of each other!

 

[purrfectpear]

What the hell do you peeps eat that causes all this gas

In 56 years I''ve probably passed audible gas in front of anyone less than 4 or 5 times (completely by accident). Now I live alone, and if it''s gonna rip...fine. But at work, in public, dating, or whatever - no way. It''s just not done. No burping, farting, or chewing with your mouth open. Don''t people have any manners? Maybe I just had a repressive childhood, but I learned to hold all of that in, and I''m no worse for the wear.

 

[jstarfireb]

Date: 7/3/2009 12:54:54 AM
Author: thing2of2

Date: 7/3/2009 12:01:38 AM

Author: TravelingGal

Honestly, I kind of feel sorry for women who are so mortified to be human in front of their mates. I''m not advocating starting fart wars or anything, but geez, just be real. I have ''perfect'' gal pals that won''t take a dump with their man in the house and if it''s an emergency will go to a different room and turn on the shower while doing the deed.

Plus when I was pregnant, I wasn''t about to hoist my fat a** off the couch to go to the loo every time I needed to cut the cheese...I would have been living in the bathroom.

Hahaha ditto! I am surprised that so many people don''t let ''em rip in front of their SO/fiance/husband! Let''s just say my fiance and I do NOT leave the room when we need to toot! We might give each other fair warning or go to the other room if it''s really bad, but we have no problem ripping one in front of each other!

Big fat smelly ditto! We just see it as part of being comfortable with each other. It actually started by accident...I was entering the room where husband was, and he said "I need a minute." I came in anyway, and the stench was horrifying. But we had a good laugh about it, and I actually think it brought us closer. We do give each other a courtesy warning if it''s gonna be a stinker...usually by saying "I need a minute!"

PP, my husband has an onion addiction. ''Nuff said.

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 7/3/2009 1:47:07 AM
Author: jstarfireb

Date: 7/3/2009 12:54:54 AM
Author: thing2of2

Date: 7/3/2009 12:01:38 AM

Author: TravelingGal

Honestly, I kind of feel sorry for women who are so mortified to be human in front of their mates. I'm not advocating starting fart wars or anything, but geez, just be real. I have 'perfect' gal pals that won't take a dump with their man in the house and if it's an emergency will go to a different room and turn on the shower while doing the deed.

Plus when I was pregnant, I wasn't about to hoist my fat a** off the couch to go to the loo every time I needed to cut the cheese...I would have been living in the bathroom.

Hahaha ditto! I am surprised that so many people don't let 'em rip in front of their SO/fiance/husband! Let's just say my fiance and I do NOT leave the room when we need to toot! We might give each other fair warning or go to the other room if it's really bad, but we have no problem ripping one in front of each other!

Big fat smelly ditto! We just see it as part of being comfortable with each other. It actually started by accident...I was entering the room where husband was, and he said 'I need a minute.' I came in anyway, and the stench was horrifying. But we had a good laugh about it, and I actually think it brought us closer. We do give each other a courtesy warning if it's gonna be a stinker...usually by saying 'I need a minute!'

PP, my husband has an onion addiction. 'Nuff said.

ITA with PP on this one!

Though I tell my SO that he does not have to excuse himself to 'poot', and he tells me the same. I love that we are comfortable and caring enough about each other that we would not hold such things against each other, but I love MORE that he loves and respects me enough NOT to do it near me intentionally. We all clearly understand biology, and if it happens it happens, but I like that he treats me special and chooses not to do crude things in front of me. It is not a burden for us, IMO, even when we go through great lengths to achieve it, lol.

He calls me his beautiful flower... and I ain't no stinky flower!

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 7/3/2009 1:31:41 AM
Author: purrfectpear
What the hell do you peeps eat that causes all this gas

In 56 years I've probably passed audible gas in front of anyone less than 4 or 5 times (completely by accident). Now I live alone, and if it's gonna rip...fine. But at work, in public, dating, or whatever - no way. It's just not done. No burping, farting, or chewing with your mouth open. Don't people have any manners? Maybe I just had a repressive childhood, but I learned to hold all of that in, and I'm no worse for the wear.

+1

Totally unacceptable, unless you are dating a cow!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 7/3/2009 1:31:41 AM
Author: purrfectpear
What the hell do you peeps eat that causes all this gas

In 56 years I''ve probably passed audible gas in front of anyone less than 4 or 5 times (completely by accident). Now I live alone, and if it''s gonna rip...fine. But at work, in public, dating, or whatever - no way. It''s just not done. No burping, farting, or chewing with your mouth open. Don''t people have any manners? Maybe I just had a repressive childhood, but I learned to hold all of that in, and I''m no worse for the wear.

Yes, I have manners. I don''t burp, fart, or chew with my mouth open in public. At home, I will fart and burp, although I still chew with my mouth closed.

Who farts at work or in public? I''m talking about in front of your spouse at home! And no, we don''t start it up at the dinner table. But in bed at night if I am gassy? Yup! I''m not going to keep running off to the loo in the middle of the night to pass gas. That''s ridiculous!

Some people are less gassy than others. I had really bad gas as a kid (I think I was lactose intolerant and didn''t know it then) and held it in all the time. It resulted in me having crippling stomach pains that I still remember.

Now I don''t drink too much milk, so I am fine, but I won''t hold it in at home if I get that kind of gas. Going to the bathroom once doesn''t give any pain relief!

Nope, a beautiful flower I am not. I am mother, a wife, and a career woman. Last I checked, all of those are human and I am glad that TGuy is fine with me being one.

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 7/3/2009 2:40:19 AM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 7/3/2009 1:31:41 AM
Author: purrfectpear
What the hell do you peeps eat that causes all this gas

In 56 years I''ve probably passed audible gas in front of anyone less than 4 or 5 times (completely by accident). Now I live alone, and if it''s gonna rip...fine. But at work, in public, dating, or whatever - no way. It''s just not done. No burping, farting, or chewing with your mouth open. Don''t people have any manners? Maybe I just had a repressive childhood, but I learned to hold all of that in, and I''m no worse for the wear.

Yes, I have manners. I don''t burp, fart, or chew with my mouth open in public. At home, I will fart and burp, although I still chew with my mouth closed.

Who farts at work or in public? I''m talking about in front of your spouse at home! And no, we don''t start it up at the dinner table. But in bed at night if I am gassy? Yup! I''m not going to keep running off to the loo in the middle of the night to pass gas. That''s ridiculous!

Some people are less gassy than others. I had really bad gas as a kid (I think I was lactose intolerant and didn''t know it then) and held it in all the time. It resulted in me having crippling stomach pains that I still remember.

Now I don''t drink too much milk, so I am fine, but I won''t hold it in at home if I get that kind of gas. Going to the bathroom once doesn''t give any pain relief!

Nope, a beautiful flower I am not. I am mother, a wife, and a career woman. Last I checked, all of those are human and I am glad that TGuy is fine with me being one.

hehe, this reminded me of a song... ''Roses'' by Outkast

 

[pinkstars]

Date: 7/3/2009 12:02:24 AM
Author: luckystar112

Date: 7/2/2009 11:55:10 PM

Author: Namaste

ummm.. I''ve always said that if I''m not comfortable enough to fart in front of my boyfriend, it''s just NOT going to work out between us.


Initially when we first start dating, of course, it''s avoided and embarrassing.. but come on! eventually you spend so much time together how can you hold it?!

That''s how I feel too. I can''t imagine excusing myself to go to the bathroom every time or feeling ashamed. It''s a fart! Do people excuse themselves to the bathroom when they have to burp? A little toot never hurt anyone.

Ditto. Ditto.
BF and I are not shy about this with each other. I don''t see the point in "hiding" farting from your SO.
BF and I made a road trip through Canada within the first month of us being together, it would have been nice for him not to know everything that was going on with me, but it''s not really something that''s worth worrying about.
Then later BF had stomach issues and that definitely made us not be shy about any bodily functions.

Now it''s a bit of a game with us. In the morning, in the evening it''s just what''s going on...oh well.

I don''t think it''s cultural either, and I don''t think it has anything to do with manners. I think it has a lot to do with just being comfortable, which I am.

 

[LilyKat]

It grosses me out when other people do it, so I try not to do it in front of other people (anyone, not just my boyfriend). Accidents are fine, but it''s just common courtesy! I think the exception would be if you were sick, or pregnant, or for any other reason windy and less able to move out of earshot (and smell-shot).

If you really have to do it, at least be discreet

 

[Hera]

I''m not sure I''m seeing the connection between diamond size and passing gas.....

 

[Lynnie]

DH and I are fine w/passing gas around each other. If we know it''s coming, we''ll excuse ourselves to another room (DH swears he can "feel" if it''s gonna be stinky or not

). If they slip out accidentally, so be it. No biggie.

I know girls that absolutely refuse to fart/poop near their SO''s. To each his own. Maybe it''s ''cause I''m a nurse, and have seen/smelled/heard WAY worse than a fart, so I don''t see the big deal with tooting. I ask at least 3 people per shift if they''ve been passing gas or have had a BM (NOT Bridesmaid!).

In PUBLIC, yeah, hold it in. A friend of mine complained to me that her BF likes to fart-bomb her... fart in bed and hold her under the covers so she''s forced to smell it... I think that is just nasty

I''d kill my DH if he did that!
At WORK... some of the gals joke that we are fortunate, we can just go near a "stinky" room and let ''er rip!

BTW, isn''t it possible to poop/fart while giving birth?? Wouldn''t that pose a problem for those that aren''t comfortable with doing said things in front of their SO''s? I guess that''s the last thing on your mind at that time, though.

Funny stories, people!
jstar... HAHA farts bringing people closer!!!!!!!!! ROFL

 

[atroop711]

Date: 7/2/2009 11:21:52 PM
Author: neatfreak
Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.

Therefore-private is the way to go.

LOL...this gave me my morning chuckle..thanks for that

 

[Maisie]

Farts are in abundance in my house. I am a farter extraordinaire. I am the unbeaten champion. I guess I have no class. I can live with that.

 

[atroop711]

I've been with my husband for a total of 17 yrs (today is our dating anniversary

) and we aren't shy at all with each other. It's a level of comfort we have. He initiated me (that what he called it) within a few days of meeting. I thought to myself this guy is a SLOB! Then I thought to myself if that's his biggest fault I could live with that. Eventually I grew comfortable enough to pass gas in front of him about a year later and it was by accident. He didn't seem to blink...so I thought it's ok..didn't feel to bad. Eventually with 3 pregnancies there was no holding the gas in at all. It just pushes itself out

.

Someone mentioned about them being raised to think that polite ppl don't pass gas in front of others...well I'm very polite but when it comes to my home and dh...anything goes!