Is a bird in the hand really better?

katamari · Dec 1, 2009

I am in the negotiation stage of the job hunt with currently entails contacting other places I have applied to get any information I can on the status of my application. This sucks because either 1) I find out I would likely be rejected anyways and the job was never mine to turn down or 2) that I still have a chance and have to weigh what is against what might be. The second, for me, is the worst of the two. And it still happens despite knowing that the offer I have is for one that I would find incredible happiness and thriving success in, were I to take it.

I also see other PSers struggle with this--especially in BWW (the dress that is versus the dress that might be, the wedding that you can have now versus the wedding you might be able to save up for, . . .)--so I know I am not the only person who struggles with this.

Are you one of those luck people who can find calming peace with the bird in the hand? If not, and you are like me, what strategies do you have for making the right decision and then convincing yourself that you have, in fact, done so properly?

ETA: I should probably add here, since not all PSers are from the same culture or share the same expressions, I am referring to the saying "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush."

yssie · Dec 1, 2009

I can totally relate to this. I've always had trouble making decisions and being happy about them - even once I've committed to something I constantly second-guess myself, and wonder what-if..

The only thing I've found that really helps me, which may or may not be appropriate in your situation, is to commit to one course of action and then remove the rest from consideration - take it entirely out of my hands, so to speak. WRT to jobs, then, I'd sign on the dotted line and politely inform the others that I've accepted an offer that same day. Of course, this is only prudent if you're quite sure you're choosing correctly, and you're not closing too many doors in doing so.

Sorry I'm not much help, I just wanted to let you know that someone gets it! Good luck

4ever · Dec 1, 2009

I''m like this too; huge issues making a desision and big issues being happy with it and not thinking about the "what if" factor.

What helps me most is just to put the desision into perspective and think about the bigger picture. The desision is not likely to be life and death, maybe you''ll make a good choice, maybe it wont work out so well but it rearly means you can''t do anything to change it. Usually, the things people stress about are not THAT bit a deal in the long run, they just seem like it at the time.