Irrational fear/ phobia help

[Gussie]

I am deathly afraid of snakes. When I see one I literally feel paralyzed. My heart races and I panic. I HATE the spring because this is when I start seeing them in my yard. We live on a lake with lots of trees and snakes are pretty common. I have never seen a mouse here - wonder why? Today I was on my back patio enjoying the spring day and admiring the roses I planted over the weekend. Sure enough a huge gray monster slithered behind my shrubs next to my backdoor. After freezing for a few minutes I ran around to the front. Now my crazy fear will prevent me from venturing in my garden for weeks.

I can see snakes in a zoo, pictures of them, and decorate with plastic ones at Halloween. But when I see one in nature I just can't take it. These aren't poisonous snakes either (well except for the coral snakes) but they are BIG and I get that they just want away from me. Any ideas on how to get over this? Anyone have a phobia that they have conquered?

Or better yet, do you know a good snake repellent?

 

[the_mother_thing]

I feel your pain on this, and WISH I had a good suggestion for getting over snake phobia and/or preventing them. The best thing I’ve been able to manage is to get rid of their food source. If you have voles, moles, mice, etc. in your yard, get rid of them and the snakes will eventually find a new place to dine. I had a pest company come out to treat my yard for voles about a year and a half ago when I started seeing more snake activity than usual - including a couple of baby copperheads (which are the most deadly b/c they cannot control their venom when they bite). I haven’t seen any in about 8 months now, so I’m hoping that stays the case ... at least until I put the house on the market in a month or so.

 

[the_mother_thing]

Also, I can attest that - for the snakes I was seeing in my yard - neither ‘Snake Away’ nor moth balls were helpful in eradicating them from my property, though both seem to get a lot of recommendations in various online readings I stumbled upon. And I used a LOT of both!

All it did was make my property (and my neighbors) smell like moth balls.

 

[Gussie]

Also, I can attest that - for the snakes I was seeing in my yard - neither ‘Snake Away’ nor moth balls were helpful in eradicating them from my property, though both seem to get a lot of recommendations in various online readings I stumbled upon. And I used a LOT of both!

All it did was make my property (and my neighbors) smell like moth balls.

I just had my son put out moth balls. I know it doesn't work but I always try it. I don't know the source of food because I have never seen a mouse or small rodent here. Lol because of the snakes I am sure. I have a heavily landscaped yard with lots of dense shrubs. So sad that my hobby is gardening and I always quit for a few weeks.

 

[Arcadian]

I would not say fear of snakes is irrational. I don't exactly like them much either. What gets the hair up on my neck are big ass flying bugs, of which there are many in Florida....lol

I'm fine with honey bees, though I avoid them as much as I can (highly allergic!), but palmetto bugs? hissing big ass cockroaches? I about lose my mind and you can't get me back in that room with them thangs.

This is the time of year I'm ever vigilant.

 

[nala]

I’m sorry. No Advice except to say that I have the same fear. Luckily, I don’t have to worry about them in my home or region. I would move if I had to.

 

[missy]

I would not say fear of snakes is irrational. I don't exactly like them much either. What gets the hair up on my neck are big ass flying bugs, of which there are many in Florida....lol

I'm fine with honey bees, though I avoid them as much as I can (highly allergic!), but palmetto bugs? hissing big ass cockroaches? I about lose my mind and you can't get me back in that room with them thangs.

This is the time of year I'm ever vigilant.

Like @Arcadian I don't think it is an irrational fear but here are some suggestions that might help prevent it from paralyzing you.

http://www.anxietycoach.com/snakephobia.html

http://www.anxietycoach.com/support-files/overcoming-animal-phobias.pdf


And Like @Arcadian I have a fear of BIG A** BUGS esepcaily those that fly arghhhhhh
And you can bet I am not using a desensitizing method to lessen my fear. I am very very scared of roaches, palmettos and all those BIG A** scary bugs.

Good luck and hugs to everyone dealing with scary fears. Sometimes fear is a healthy way to keep us safe and sometimes it affects us to the degree it shouldn't.

 

[Gussie]

I have read about the exposure method to overcome a phobia. I think I would probably die of a heart attack. My poor dh has to walk the property looking for snakes all the time, lol. He thinks I am crazy! I really think their food source is frogs. Maybe I can figure a way to get rid of the frogs. Then the bugs will take over! Ugh!

 

[missy]

I have read about the exposure method to overcome a phobia. I think I would probably die of a heart attack. My poor dh has to walk the property looking for snakes all the time, lol. He thinks I am crazy! I really think their food source is frogs. Maybe I can figure a way to get rid of the frogs. Then the bugs will take over! Ugh!

How about start slow like with a stuffed snake? They can be sort of cute and cuddly. We have one we named Sssssssam.
And work your way up tp snake bling. That will ease the pain.
Baby steps. And should always end with bling... remember that as that is a very an important point.

 

[chemgirl]

Not any help with phobias, but checking in to say my office has a pet snake. Some people are less than thrilled.

 

[MissGotRocks]

I certainly don't consider it irrational either. We have seen a couple through the years and my reaction is pretty much the same as yours. Believe it or not, a mouse will make me even crazier. It think it is because the quickly dart and they just scare me to death - like having a motorized race car - you never know where they will pop out from and in which direction they will run. Thankfully, I have not had them in my house but have seen a couple in my garage. They literally make me crazy!!

Would a pest control company have any ideas or suggestions to at least try to keep them from around the house? Don't have experience with it but it might be worth a try?

 

[Gussie]

We have a bi-monthly pest
service for bugs. I think I will call them. Lol, @MissGotRocks, I an totally afraid of mice too! I guess I am pretty much a wuss when it comes to critters. And Texas is full of them!

P. S. Congrats on your wf trip!!! I look forward to meeting you!

 

[luv2sparkle]

ceg, I have always thought I could live in Texas-except for the snakes. I, too, am TERRIFIED of them.
California has a few non venomous ones but mostly rattlesnakes. When we lived in the mountains, I told my husband that if I ever saw a rattlesnake I was moving back down the hill. We lived there nine years and I never saw one. We now live in a valley surrounded by hills and there are lots of rattlers here. We have been here 14 years and I haven't seen one. Lots of my neighbors have, a few people get bit every year in my town. I think if I saw them in my yard I would pee my pants. I won't go hiking in the hills around my house for fear of seeing one. The only thing I can think of to alleviate my fear would be to become a crack shot so I could blow their stinking heads off. Maybe then, I wouldn't be afraid. But, I own no guns and wouldn't even know where to start on that plan. There are people in my town that get so upset if someone kills a snake and would prefer that they just be relocated. Personally, I think they all need to die.

 

[GliderPoss]

I don't think it's an irrational fear BUT it shouldn't stop you living your life and enjoying gardening. I think maybe look at ways to mentally overcome it, particularly if they aren't poisonous then you really have very little to fear. Honestly snakes are just trying to get out of your way... I don't know of any repellents but apparently cats will deter them.

Perhaps start with a toy snake? Spend some time watching snake videos? Next time you see one, just sit quietly (safely) and watch it, let it pass, do not remove yourself. Let the fear pass, heart slow down and peace resume. Similar to getting back on a horse after a fall - try not running away from the garden/scene. I've seen a lot of deadly snakes & had quite a few encounters (in Oz) but never come to any harm as truly they aren't seeking to engage with humans. Best of luck.

 

[MissGotRocks]

We have a bi-monthly pest
service for bugs. I think I will call them. Lol, @MissGotRocks, I an totally afraid of mice too! I guess I am pretty much a wuss when it comes to critters. And Texas is full of them!

P. S. Congrats on your wf trip!!! I look forward to meeting you!

Folks have told me all my life how afraid of me they are, how little they are, how cute they are - whatever!! They scare me silly and I can't stand them - lol!

Can't wait to meet you as well - I am really looking forward to the trip!!

 

[Gussie]

@missy I have this but it doesn't ward them off!

 

[MarionC]

I had a total spider phobia, could not even look at photos.
I ran a science lab in a school and the children voted to get a tarantula.
I had to go to the pet store to buy one. I won't go into the detail of how traumatic it was, but when the sales person was capturing it for us I saw how scared it was and felt compassion.
It changed my outlook. In time I was able to cope with spiders and even see the jumping spiders in my house as adorable.
I think it was a combination of compassion for another living being and exposure to the object of my phobia.
I wonder if you could find someone to help with the phobia, because I know from experience (spiders and and also air travel) that the phonic mindset can be overcome.

 

[missy]

I had a total spider phobia, could not even look at photos.
I ran a science lab in a school and the children voted to get a tarantula.
I had to go to the pet store to buy one. I won't go into the detail of how traumatic it was, but when the sales person was capturing it for us I saw how scared it was and felt compassion.
It changed my outlook. In time I was able to cope with spiders and even see the jumping spiders in my house as adorable.
I think it was a combination of compassion for another living being and exposure to the object of my phobia.
I wonder if you could find someone to help with the phobia, because I know from experience (spiders and and also air travel) that the phonic mindset can be overcome.

Gosh this is so true @Jimmianne and so wise of you. Yes I feel badly for any creature/thing that is scared and that does help one feel compassion and empathy for the other living being. Still terrified of cockroaches however as there is no way I can find it in my heart to feel compassion for them but yes to the spiders and rodents and snakes for sure. Something about those black huge indestructible beings that just make me go


but how can you be scared of this sweet little rodent...look at that face.

 

[stracci2000]

Ceg, maybe you can find someone with a pet snake and they can show you that they're not scary. Or maybe go to a nature center or pet store and talk to someone who can explain snake behavior and maybe let you touch one. Baby steps!
The scared tarantula story is sad, @Jimmianne!
I'm not afraid of spiders as long as I know they're not poisonous. Snakes don't bother me at all. I find them interesting. I'm with @missy---- Roaches do not get my sympathy!

 

[TooPatient]

I'm not much of a help. We had one in our yard last summer and I sent DH to bash it until dead and get rid of it. (We have no poisonous snakes here and this is only the third I have ever seen in my life...) He didn't bash it but it did leave.

Funny thing... I was in high school and had to do some project on where in the US I would move if I was going to live somewhere other than here. I took a printout of the US and crossed off anywhere with poisonous snakes, big spiders (we have one that gets big but pest control means I never see), yucky flying bugs, etc. That limited my options severely. Then I added in weather I couldn't imagine living in. Guess I'm meant to live here!

 

[Gussie]

I'm not much of a help. We had one in our yard last summer and I sent DH to bash it until dead and get rid of it. (We have no poisonous snakes here and this is only the third I have ever seen in my life...) He didn't bash it but it did leave.

Funny thing... I was in high school and had to do some project on where in the US I would move if I was going to live somewhere other than here. I took a printout of the US and crossed off anywhere with poisonous snakes, big spiders (we have one that gets big but pest control means I never see), yucky flying bugs, etc. That limited my options severely. Then I added in weather I couldn't imagine living in. Guess I'm meant to live here!

Where is this paradise with no big bugs or snakes?

 

[stracci2000]

Haha, Hawaii supposedly doesn't have snakes!
But they have big ass centipedes.

 

[rodentman]

I am not bothered by snakes, except venomous ones. I've run across only puny garter snakes in my yard. I am NOT a fan of insects especially swarming ones and stinging ones. Rodents are ok, unless they nest in my walls which happened once. Chipmunks are less cute when nesting in the walls.

 

[lissyflo]

I really think their food source is frogs. Maybe I can figure a way to get rid of the frogs. Then the bugs will take over! Ugh!

I have a complete phobia of frogs and especially toads, and would take snakes over frogs I think! Although that’s an academic point as I’m in the UK and so we’re highly unlikely to have a snake in our garden!

I’m also with the others on big, flying bugs - they petrify me. I get visions of them flying at my face of getting tangled in my hair.

And also I’m not good with things that are tight around my throat, like tight polo necks or ties (I’m glad I’m not male!). Loose scarves are okay but nothing that feels restrictive - they make me feel slightly panicky and claustrophobic.

Sorry I have no advice on getting over the snake phobia!

 

[daneshpastry]

I honestly HATE snakes. I was bitten by one as a child, and now I'm terrified of them.

Honestly though - why should I trust something that can move but has no feet????????

 

[TooPatient]

Where is this paradise with no big bugs or snakes?

Seattle area. Western Washington is great with no real snakes or big bugs. Not too hot. Not too cold. You can pick big city or super rural. Different areas get more or less snow. Pick the perfect combination for you! (Plus lots of food from around the world, great music, unbeatable medical facilities, and spectacular scenery.)

 

[luv2sparkle]

Seattle area. Western Washington is great with no real snakes or big bugs. Not too hot. Not too cold. You can pick big city or super rural. Different areas get more or less snow. Pick the perfect combination for you! (Plus lots of food from around the world, great music, unbeatable medical facilities, and spectacular scenery.)

This is where I need to move. That or Hawaii. I feel totally ok tromping through the forests there. While I don’t like big bugs, they are not as scary to me as snakes. I would be ok with non venomous ones if I knew for sure that they weren’t but I can’t get close enough to tell.

I have a friend who was just at a resort in Aruba this lizard jumped on her head while she was in the pool.

 

[Arcadian]

I'm not bothered by lizards....as long as they stay outside. Its when they decide they want to come in and hang out that we have problems.

Funny, the dog just dosen't care. Won't chase them, thats beneath her

 

[KristinTech]

I get it. I can barely search for Georgian rose cut diamonds because of my irrational fear of the hole thing. I don’t even know what it’s really called, since I can’t squint an eye big enough to read about it.

 

[737liz]

I am afraid of water. In a pool, a lake, an ocean. Any depth that is murky, even a few inches, or crystal clear water where I can't touch the bottom. I grew up with a pool, this fear developed in my teens. I can't be a in pool 'unaccompanied', I have to bully myself to get my feet wet in the ocean... It's bad. But I didn't want to be scared. So I took up scuba diving. And I love it, plan my vacations around it. Study up on all the weird wonderful creatures that live in those murky depths. I'm still scares of the unknown but having seen what is underwater has helped me immensely. There are no mythical monsters, no creatures waiting to drag me under. I had to lie to my dive school and say that I had no problem in the water. Had to lie to the instructor when he saw me hyperventilating in the pool, claiming it was due to cold. The lies were worth it.

All this to ask: have you ever touched or held a snake? I thought of them as simultaneously cold, scaly, rough, AND slimy. I thought I was scared of them. Then I touched one. It was smooth, warm, silky; one could almost call it a luxurious feel.

I have a feeling most fears stem from the unknown element. I'm guessing zoos are ok for you because there is a glass division that keeps them from touching you, and your garden doesn't have that separation. Would you be willing to try touching one? In a pet shop maybe? It may be the single worst moment of your life, or it may dampen the fear, and let you get back to your garden and the hobbies that you love just that little bit more quickly.

Either way, I comiserate, as I know that it's hard to admit, even if just to yourself, that a fear is holding you back from enjoying life to the fullest-even if it only pertains to a few weeks a year, or a moment now and again. Plus, snakes are a pretty standard fear, it's not an off-menu item like a fear of butterflies ( apologies to anyone on the forum with lepidopterophobia).