Invitations - how early is truly TOO early? and why?

[Independent Gal]

So, I''ve read that you''re supposed to send invitations out 6-8 weeks in advance. But I''m a little worried about this, particularly because we can anticipate at least a week of mail-travel time for many of our invites, and then the same for the RSVP to return. And OK, I confess, I''m excited and impatient for those little envelopes to start coming back to us!

So, if we time the mailing so that the invitations should arrive a little over 2 months before the wedding, is that reasonable? (So, send the overseas ones about 10 weeks in advance, the few domestic ones 9 weeks). That way we can still give people a couple of weeks to reply and have a sense of numbers.

How early is too early? And WHY? Is it because peoples'' plans change? Or something else? Why is early rude? For me I always think it''s HELPFUL!

 

[musey]

6-8 weeks? Really?

I thought it was something like 6-8 months... shows what I know!!

Anyway, I think that early is helpful, too. Most of our guests are OOT so I was planning to get ours out in Feb/March for an October wedding. I hope other people will reply ASAP because now I think I''m majorly jumping the gun!!

 

[misysu2]

I''d like to know this too-- all of my FI''s family are coming in from OOT-- some have to fly in from Hawaii and the Phillipines! You think 3-4 months would be a safe time? Also, can you give people a deadline to respond? I don''t want to be receiving responses 2 days before...

 

[musey]

misysu, most people include on the invitation or rsvp card "Please respond by _______ (date)". I''ve forgotten the more polite wording of that inclusion, though...

 

[laine]

I think its not good to send them out too early because a lot of people just can't think that far in advance/aren't sure if they can make something that far in the future/etc, so they set the invitation aside till later, lose it, forget about it, forget to RSVP, etc, etc.

I think 2 to 2.5 months in advance is good because people's schedules don't tend to be very booked up that far out, but they can look ahead and make a decision. For people who have significant travel, especially travel that include planes, its nice to give them a little more of a heads up, either with a mailed save the date, an email, a phone call a few months before you send the invitation.

ETA: You can probably send the invitations that are going abroad a little sooner, like 3 months in advance. If you expect people to come that far, they're probably close friends and family who are going to make it no matter what, and not people like second cousin Bob or Mom's old neighbor who are more likely to forget about the wedding, or who will decide if they can come two weeks before the wedding depending on little Jimmy's little league schedule or something.

 

[karasue91]

I wondered the same thing, which is why we are sending STDs. Our wedding is next August - we went to a family reunion of his this past August and people were upset that they hadn''t gotten a STD already!! We still haven''t gotten them made yet so I''m sure they are irritated with us but oh well. Stuff came up.

Our families will be travelling from all over the US and Canada so I think we''ll send out our invites around 2 months before. Did you send out STDs? If not, I would say you could def send invites out earlier.

 

[robbie3982]

I would do at least 8 weeks in advance and make sure that your RSVP date gives you time to call all the people who don''t send RSVPs. 8 weeks before the wedding date doesn''t mean they have 8 weeks to respond. You definitely want to give yourself padding between the RSVP date and the date you have to give numbers to the caterer. We had a bunch of people who didn''t RSVP.

I agree that the longer people have to respond the more likely they are to forget/lose them.

 

[musey]

Ooh okay. Save the dates allow for later invitations, which is fabulous

 

[Independent Gal]

Well, we e-mailed informal 'save the date!' notes to most people who would have to travel. So, most people have a sense of the date.

LaineIn terms of people coming from abroad, we'll actually be going to THEM instead of them coming to us. We're getting married abroad (twice) so that no one but us has to travel too far. There will still be a lot of border crossing, but no ocean crossing, and mostly short, inexpensive plane rides or train trips.

I think we will mail them in the first half of January. That should do it! 2-3 months in advance.

It occurs to me, a 'Don't forget to make sure your passport hasn't expired!' e-mail would be a good idea around the same time! I can just see the problems...

 

[Pandora II]

My wedding is on July 26th 2008.

My STD''s are going out beginning of December with the xmas cards.

The official invitations are going out at the beginning of May - so 12 weeks in advance, which is what Debretts advises.

 

[laine]

Author: Independent Gal
In terms of people coming from abroad, we''ll actually be going to THEM instead of them coming to us. We''re getting married abroad (twice) so that no one but us has to travel too far. There will still be a lot of border crossing, but no ocean crossing, and mostly short, inexpensive plane rides or train trips.

Ah, that makes it a bit easier!

Author: Independent Gal
It occurs to me, a ''Don''t forget to make sure your passport hasn''t expired!'' e-mail would be a good idea around the same time! I can just see the problems...

Yeah, that might be a good idea

 

[anchor31]

We''re sending the STDs 8 months in advance... The invites 12-ish weeks in advance, I guess, and give them 8 weeks to RSVP.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I sent ours our 8 weeks, with a 4 week rsvp date. I figured it gave them a month to fill out the card. Funny on how many we STILL didn''t get

I never knew it was considered rude to send them earlier. I don''t think it really matters.

 

[zoebartlett]

We're getting married on July 12th and our save the dates just went out. The first line mentioned that because we're getting married in the summer in a beach resort town, we strongly recommend that people make their hotel/travel arrangements by May 1st. We provided the name of the hotel and their phone number, so if people want to start booking their rooms now they can. My FI's entire side is fairly local so it's just a bunch of my relatives and a few friends who are traveling from some distance. We're planning on sending out our invitations in March or April I think.

ETA: I agree with others who have said that if invitations are sent out too early, people lose them or tend to forget about them. Many people can't (or don't want to) plan that far in advance.