invitation wording: adult reception?

[mimzy]

i want to do everything i can do avoid the awkwardness of telling family friends that their little ones aren''t invited, so on my invitation at the bottom i currently have "adult reception to follow". i thought about doing the ''#'' of seats have been reserved in your honor, but it was nixed by my parents.

do you think that ''adult reception'' will get too many giggles (of the

variety)? or do you think it''s pretty clear in it''s meaning?

thanks!

 

[Izzy03]

Good question!! It sounds fine to me, but I was planning to put "adult ceremony and reception" on my invitations. Is that too direct?

Any advice ladies?

 

[marchswallowbird]

I think it may raise some eyebrows and cause questions/confusion if you call it "adult" reception. Not sure what I would recommend as an alternative.

 

[ChargerGrrl]

we didn''t mention it on the invite. we opted to feature this blurb on our wedding website:

Adult Reception
Due to the late hour of the ceremony and reception, we are respectfully requesting that parents arrange babysitting for their children ages 15 and younger. We are also happy to assist in arranging professional babysitting services for out-of-town guests. Please contact us for more information if this service is needed.

we did do the "Two seats have been reserved in your honor" thing on the RSVP postcard, and that worked really well.

 

[misspinky]

We wrote "we invite our adult guests to join us for ....(reception details)...." on the reception info card. Haven''t sent them out yet though.

 

[purrfectpear]

"Breeders, please leave your progeny at home. We''re afraid it could be contagious"

 

[Izzy03]

Date: 8/25/2008 7:47:20 PM
Author: purrfectpear
''Breeders, please leave your progeny at home. We''re afraid it could be contagious''

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! WOW, my exact feelings about some of them. I really don''t mind having a few of the cute little bugers! But you can''t invite one if you don''t invite them all! This is the classic case a couple bratty kids ruining things for the rest of the kids.

 

[Angeleyez]

FI and I had the same problem, we didn''t want any gray lines as to who was or wasn''t invited. Our solution was to specifically write in our invites names, as we printed our own invitations.

"Bride and Groom

invite you

Guest one and Guest two

to celebrate blah blah"

We also opted for less formal wording, but so far, this seems to have worked. Invites went out last Monday, so I''ll let you know how it really does go.

 

[dutchflowers]

Date: 8/25/2008 7:25:40 PM
Author: ChargerGrrl
we didn''t mention it on the invite. we opted to feature this blurb on our wedding website:

We did this too. The mention on the website and word of mouth worked like a charm

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 8/25/2008 7:47:20 PM
Author: purrfectpear
''Breeders, please leave your progeny at home. We''re afraid it could be contagious''

Okay. That''s funny.

I think people who haven''t planned weddings recently would be confused. Plus, people don''t read anyway. Or listen. Or think. Or reply.

Sorry, feeling a bit jaded.

 

[mjso]

Well on the topic of "adult reception to follow". I honestly think people will understand what you mean. I''ve never really associated "adult reception" to mean something well...dirty.

The only thing that I think might still be ambiguous would be if you are inviting a single person with no guest. Saying "adult reception" obviously doesn''t cover that, so that confusion might still be up in the air but I think people would realize "And family" isn''t invited with the wording you are currently thinking of.

 

[swimmer]

How about "Adults Only Reception" on the reception card, or just "Adults Only" if it is clear that you are discussing the reception? Yes, DH and I would totally giggle at "Adult Reception" on an invite. So sorry, it just conjures up ideas of exotic dancers. But the "only" breaks that up.

I just did a PS search and there are tons of threads discussing this, a very hot topic. Very interesting discussions.

ETA Yes, people will know what you mean by "adult reception", but if you are wanting to avoid snarky folks like us to not giggle...and from what I know about you and your hipster FI, you have friends like us, so you might want to word it differently.

 

[galvana]

This is such a great post and im also curious what to put - my fiance and I went to three wedding this summer, two of which had kids.
The ceremonies were both invaded by screaming fussy children. We have since decided NO children at the ceremony or reception.

For those of you that recently got married, what did you put? we are doing the word of mouth thing now but i definitly dont want to offend anyone
on the invite. Also, if we write adults only reception to follow, do you think they''ll bring the kids to the church (because we didn''t specify, adults only ceremony?)???

 

[mintve]

I have another challenge to this. We have young nieces and nephews who we would like at the wedding and a few will also be in the wedding. However, we would prefer for guests (who are not our siblings) to not bring their children. Do you think they will be offended since their kids are not invited, but there are other kids there? We have a few guests who are not the sharpest tools in the shed and I don''t know if they would get it. So, I need to be as blunt, but polite as possible.

Is it best to say "XX seats have been reserved in your honor", or do you suggest something else?

 

[galvana]

so would you say XX seats have been reserved in your honor.........regarding the reception? or the ceremony ? or both?
do you need to indicate them seperately or will people know?

 

[mintve]

Date: 8/26/2008 9:42:49 AM
Author: galvana
so would you say XX seats have been reserved in your honor.........regarding the reception? or the ceremony ? or both?
do you need to indicate them seperately or will people know?

that is a good point. Man, its so tricky. We should all just send tickets and have a bouncer scan them at the door of the church/reception. We can set up velvet ropes and everything.

 

[galvana]

I want to copy what perfectpear said to be honest

"Breeders, please leave your progeny at home. We''re afraid it could be contagious"

Im kind of fresh sometimes, so im going to ask my fiance if we can do it! HEHHEHEHE ...............................why not? i think its funny! LOL

 

[Cleopatra]

We had the same problem - we ended up doing the following:

Reception immediately following the ceremony at
___
Adults only, please.

Not a single kid came

 

[mimzy]

girls thank you all so much for your input! i haven''t made a decision yet, but i feel like i have a few more viable options to play around with now! thanks again!

 

[Haven]

Won''t they know the kiddos aren''t invited when their names are not on the inner envelope? I don''t think you need to mention anything on the invite about an adult reception; that wording always brings down the graciousness of the invite, in my opinion.

If you must, though, I''d totally use Purrfectpear''s suggestion. It''s perfect. And it made me snort root beer through my nose when I read it. (Now THAT''S grace, right?)

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 8/26/2008 11:07:08 PM
Author: Haven
Won''t they know the kiddos aren''t invited when their names are not on the inner envelope? I don''t think you need to mention anything on the invite about an adult reception; that wording always brings down the graciousness of the invite, in my opinion.

If everyone was up on their etiquette, yes they should know. But as we all know, most people have NO idea about etiquette when it comes to weddings. That being said, you could say nothing regarding "adult reception" (which I do think sounds odd), just put the names/XX seats have been reserved lines, and make phone calls if you have to...

 

[noelwr]

I would love to write "Leave your brats at home."

I am just not inviting anyone who has kids. lucky for us none of our close friends do so that''s not a problem. of course the nephews and nieces will be there, but that''s all I''m willing to put up with. it''s my wedding so I don''t care if I insult anyone else. I already have to come up with a plan how to keep the wedding cake out of my niece''s reach to stuff her hands in and I''m not really happy about it.

 

[mimzy]

Date: 8/26/2008 11:19:41 PM
Author: neatfreak

Date: 8/26/2008 11:07:08 PM

Author: Haven

Won''t they know the kiddos aren''t invited when their names are not on the inner envelope? I don''t think you need to mention anything on the invite about an adult reception; that wording always brings down the graciousness of the invite, in my opinion.

If everyone was up on their etiquette, yes they should know. But as we all know, most people have NO idea about etiquette when it comes to weddings. That being said, you could say nothing regarding ''adult reception'' (which I do think sounds odd), just put the names/XX seats have been reserved lines, and make phone calls if you have to...

ditto that everyone "should" know, but i''m not confident enough to bank on it....you know?

and yeah, the ''we have reserved ____ seats in your honor" has been thrown back into the mix..... so many decisions!

 

[Haven]

We did not invite the children of a few friends, and of course we only listed the names of the parents on the inner envelopes.

We did not need to state anything explicitly, they all understood that their children were not invited. One couple called to ask if they could bring their children, but that was the only snag.

 

[mimzy]

Date: 8/27/2008 2:09:42 PM
Author: Haven
We did not invite the children of a few friends, and of course we only listed the names of the parents on the inner envelopes.


We did not need to state anything explicitly, they all understood that their children were not invited. One couple called to ask if they could bring their children, but that was the only snag.

i think that the inner envelope thing would definitely help! unfortunately we''re only doing the single envelope. there are really only three or four families that i''m worried about....maybe it would be best to just call them (or enlist a beloved parent to!)

the one stronghold that we do have is if people choose to rsvp online after they enter their name another screen comes up with the number of slots that that particlar person/couple/family was allotted (as in, my uncle would type in his name and four ''name'' slots would appear for him to fill in his, my aunts and my two cousins). if only i could count on everyone rsvping online!

 

[Gwyn]

I think the ettiquette sites say the only "acceptable" thing to do for the invites is to be a line in (usually at the bottom of the RSVP or invite) "Adults Only Reception" or "Adult Reception" .

The fact that is says "reception" implies that it is applicable to reception only. I assume if you dont want kids at one, you dont want them at either. Though I can see how some people wouldnt mind if they were at the ceremony, just not the reception. Honesly though, how many parents will bring their kids and then take them home and come back for the reception? I suppose people who have children in the wedding.

We used the "XX seats have been reserved in your honor" line on our RSVPs. Instead of going with "___ seats have been reserved in your honor" and filling in, by hand, the number of people we were inviting, we had we had the person who did our invites printed them all individually.

We felt that hand writing in how many people were invites implied that other guests got invited with more or less people. With them printed, it looks like all the invites were the same and that everyone got the same number of seats reserved for them and their family.

We didnt want to use the adult only line because we didnt want to emphasize that someone''s beloved rugrat wasnt welcome. Also, if someone didnt understand it and brought their child anyway OR if we had to make an exception (like a newborn) then we could do so and people wouldnt be all mad at us that someone got to bring kids when they were told adult only.

SO far I have gotten all but two RSVPS back and there has beeen no complaints, no calls to see if so and so is invited, no asking for an extra guest, and no write ins. We will see what happens the day of

Really I think it is just personal taste which is influenced by how you perceive what the lines are saying. Put it however you like. People will get the message. If someone is going to get mad or be offended by it, then they were probably going to react that way regardless of how you worded it.

Good Luck!

Oh here is a site that gives some ettiquette assistance. Though, in my opinion, using proper ettiquette doesnt ensure the avoidance of akwardness...then again...what does?

http://www.superweddings.com/etiquette.html