Invitation Help round 2

[Morgie44]

Sorry for the repost, I accidentally posted the invitation with our full names visible. Here is my second attempt. I am looking for feedback about both the design and proofreading/editing help.

First the panel:

 

[Morgie44]

Reception Card

 

[Morgie44]

Response Card - Entree Descriptions are just place holders as our tasting is later this week.


Also, the flourish color on this is coming through very grey, when printed, it is much more green.

 

[luvthemstrawberries]

Hey Morgie, great job on the invitations!

For the editing, the only thing I notice is on the invitation and the reception card. Where you write oclock, you have the o with an accent mark over it. Instead, it needs to be a normal o with an apostrophe following it (o''clock).

I love the design. The only thing I might consider changing is adding a little more something to the left side of the invitation. The swirl looks a little lonesome, like it needs a little more with it. Not necessarily a mirror image of what you''ve got on the right side, but maybe a smaller version of the black part, or turn that image and add it on the left. But you''re saying all the swirls are actually a green shade? If that''s the case, it might look ok with just the swirl. But if it''s grey, I''d add a tiny bit more with it on the left.

HTH! I love your creativity!

 

[luvthemstrawberries]

One more thing with the editing - on the reception card you write the date with no hyphen (twenty ninth), but on the response card you do (twenty-ninth). I know different people will have different opinions on which one is the correct way, but just pick one way and be consistent among both.

 

[CNOS128]

Ditto the hyphenation comment (I would hyphenate both) -- also, on the reception card you write "Five o''clock in the evening" and may want to write "Two O''clock in the afternoon" on the invitation.

 

[Morgie44]

Thanks luvthemstrawberries and ThebigT I definitely don''t have the eye for punctuation and detail that you all have. I have already fixed those inconsistencies. One more grammer question came up as I was changing the ones you pointed out: Should it be Cocktails, Dinner, and Dancing with 2 commas or Cocktails, Dinner and Dancing with just the one comma? I feel like I have seen both, but am not sure if one is more proper than the other.

 

[lovinsparkles]

Morgie, I don''t know if there are special rules for invitations per se, but I have read that there is no consensus on the general use of the "serial comma", though my preference is to use it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serial_comma

 

[sunnyd]

I would say Cocktails, Dinner, and Dancing. Without the comma is a more journalistic style, but obviously people will know what you meant either way.

They look good, did you make them yourself?

 

[Lanie]

Also, if you are using "favour of your reply", you have to spell honor as "honour". You spelled it correctly on the main invite, but not on the RSVP where it says "we have reserved....."

Those look great!

 

[Morgie44]

Thanks for all the help! I really appreciate it! Unfortunately I cannot take credit for the design. I modeled them after this one I found somewhere online.

 

[luvthemstrawberries]

Ditto to the "in the afternoon" and the "honour" consistencies.

I have ALWAYS used 2 commas - Cocktails, Dinner, and Dancing. I realize some people phased it out, but I''m a fan of keeping the comma in there.

Also, after seeing your post with the model invitation with the green, I love the green color in them. I wouldn''t add anything else to the left of the invitation if you have that color on there - it looks great!!

 

[luvthemstrawberries]

Also, just a thought, have you thought about using a capital H at the top of the invitation that''s a little more of a swirly style, like the model invitation? After seeing the model, I think the swirly letter looks good with the other swirl designs on the invitation. Not that your block H doesn''t look good, but just wondering if you''ve considered it?

 

[Morgie44]

Thanks Luvthem - I did play around with a more flourish-y H. I want a capital one because the lowercase seems to informal to me. For some reason, it just looked lopsided.

 

[luvthemstrawberries]

Date: 1/21/2009 1:55:11 PM
Author: Morgie44
Thanks Luvthem - I did play around with a more flourish-y H. I want a capital one because the lowercase seems to informal to me. For some reason, it just looked lopsided.

Yes, I do agree. I think the top looks best centered and even.

Great job!

 

[brooklyngirl]

Hi Morgie,

One thing that popped out for was on the main invitation, the graphic on the right is too close to the text, and makes everything look a bit strained for space. I would probably make the invite wider to give more space, or move the graphic down a bit, and make the invite a little bit longer.

Otherwise, I love the design, and especially the green!