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Introducing him as ''Boyfriend''

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EveryWakingMoment

Rough_Rock
Joined
Oct 24, 2008
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Does it drive you nuts, also?

I took FF home for Thanksgiving (first time bringing a man home EVER i should add!) and just felt a little weird telling everyone that he''s my boyfriend. It feels like that title isn''t significant enough. I so badly want to tell everyone that he''s my fiancé, but i''m pretty sure that the proposal isnt coming til summer. We''ve talked about engagement, even the wedding, what our preferences are, how he''d prefer to see my hair (down/up, curly/straight) etc. Hes absolutely the man for me and i have no doubt whatsoever that we''ll have a long and happy marriage.

I talked to him about it, and he quite likes the idea of being introduced as ''The Man I Have Always Dreamed Of, Hisname!'' But seriously, I''m really having an odd problem calling him ''boyfriend''. I slipped once and introduced him as just ''Hisname''...needless to say, ''Hisname'' wasn''t too happy with that.

So what do you ladies think? Do you get frustrated too? I feel a bit silly, but i really have some sort of blockage in the brain to calling him a boyfriend. He''s finding it amusing. Am i just impatient? I mean, I''ve called all sorts of guys ''boyfriends'', guys i didnt have chemistry with, guys who were borderline abusive...
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you get the picture. I just want him to have a special transitional title
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I feel the same way. It sucks.
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I mean, we''ve already decided we''re going to marry, yet I still call him boyfriend?

I called guys I date in 9th grade "boyfriend" and they''re hardly on the same level! Thats one of the parts I hate most about being an LIW.

Guess we just have to wait it out, eh?
 
I get what you're saying. Sometime BF doesn't feel significant enough. Although, "fiancé" isn't appropriate either, even if we have had every single discussion on marriage, kids, family and our lives together in general. So I'll just stick with "bf" until the times comes. Although, to be honest, I don't love the word fiancé--I mean, its okay. I might just stick with "boyfriend" until he becomes "hubby."
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I'll cross that bridge when I get the RING
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I actually found that ''boyfriend'' is easier than ''fiance''...i am more excited to call him ''husband'' than any name..it took me awhile to get used to saying "this is my fiance" and i have heard that from many different people.

soon you will be able to call him fiance...in due time!!!
 
I felt the same way for the longest time. My husband and I dated for 8 years before marrying - and every time I''d mention "boyfriend" in those eight years, it made me cringe.

Boyfriend is a pretty insignificant title, in my mind - It bothered me when my husband''s grandmother passed away and I had to tell my boss at work that we''re going to my boyfriend''s grandmother''s funeral - my boss seemed to think I didn''t need to be there - despite dating him for 7 years at the time - strictly because he was a boyfriend, and nothing more in her mind.

I don''t have any advice - just another person in agreement - the term "boyfriend" sucks
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It does feel weird sometimes but I know what he means to me so I don''t really dwell. As long as we are happy.
 
I agree - it feels almost juvenile and temporary to use the term boyfriend, and I agree, not significant enough at all - hopefully those titles will change soon for all of us
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I don''t ever introduce him as anythiing except hisname. I''m not a fan of boyfriend, girlfriend generally. I think people can usually tell that we are together. I think fiance will be fun to say for a while and then I''ll go back to hisname again.
 
I don''t have a problem with ''boyfriend'', but then again, I get called ''fiance'' too, and Mrs. HisLastName. Those don''t quite seem to fit, and I always correct people and say, ''no, I''m just the GF''. So I guess I am okay with it. What I DO have a problem with is the word break-up. If we break up after 5+yrs, it will be closer to a divorce than a break up, so I feel like there needs to be a stronger term that is not quite divorce, and not exactly a break up.
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I agree, boyfriend doesn''t really sound too good when your in a good, healthy, stable, mature relationship. Especially when you know you are going to marry him!!
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It''s annoying but as long as you two both know where each other stands in the relationship it doesn''t matter what you call each other or what others think.

I have been with my "boyfriend" for 7 years and I think I am so used to saying boyfriend that when we actually are engaged, its going to take a while to say "fiance" ya know? I''ll be like "and this is my boyfriend.. I MEAN FIANCE!" hehe
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Too funny. But thats why we are all here, LIW. waiting, waiting wating....
 
Nothing really to add expect I agree..."boyfriend" just sounds silly....and "girlfriend" does too!
 
Date: 12/10/2008 2:18:47 PM
Author: cbs102
I actually found that ''boyfriend'' is easier than ''fiance''...i am more excited to call him ''husband'' than any name..it took me awhile to get used to saying ''this is my fiance'' and i have heard that from many different people.


soon you will be able to call him fiance...in due time!!!
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My fiance is still my fiance, and I still have trouble with remembering hes the fiance, and not my BF. It''s still a little odd for me to hear him call me his fiance to others! It''s still exciting!!
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I didn''t really have a problem with it until recently. We''re about to move in together, and I''m a little bit nervous about my extended family''s reaction when they find out (and meet him) at Christmas. My parents are happy for us, but my grandpa tends to be somewhat tactless sometimes, and I''m worried he''ll say something really harsh to SO.
 
You want to know what I think is funny?

I had the same issue before. We''re in our late 20s, dating 6 years (before engagement) and I was still calling him BF. It felt so weird and so high school.

Now that he''s "FI" I feel weird calling him that. The term doesn''t translate well in Spanish so he''s still my "novio" which is the same as boyfriend. And for some reason in English I just can''t bring myself to say "fiance."

While in the Keys someone commented on my necklace and I said "thank you. My..um..my..partner gave it to me."

If you know anything about the Keys, "partner" has a whole other meaning
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As in the words of Carrie...just call him your "manfriend" LOL
 
I can''t relate so I probably shouldn''t be posting. I never introduce my DH as my husband. I like the all inclusive "partner" or just using his name.
 
Not exactly the same scenario, but my MIL did not like introducing me to people as her son''s GF since he was in his 30s and she thought it too juvenile. We were REALLY close to being engaged, but NOT engaged yet, when we attended an event where she introduced me to everyone as her son''s "future bride". So everyone assumed we were engaged. And then someone made an announcemnt thanking DH and his "fiance" for attending. To the crowd. Did I mention it was Super Bowl Sunday and we were off to another party after this event? And that people that were at the event were also at the Super Bowl Party? Engagement news travels FAST. Rather than tell people we were NOT engaged to have to tell them in a couple of weeks that we were, I got proposed to the next night. Basically my MIL ruined any and all proposal plans my husband had. We recently talked about it and I got all mad again. Sigh, such is life.
 
I''m glad we''re past the needing to introduce each other all that often. I totally agree that ''boyfriend'' makes me cringe. We own a home together, and live together. I wish that society would catch up with the changing times and recognize something outside of marriage. I often use "my partner" but this gets confusing sometimes as I own my own buisness...and on occasion people have responded with "so, you''re gay?" Not keen on drawing attention to sexual preferences.
 
Before I was engaged I felt that way, but I think it was less objection to the term "boyfriend" than the desire to be engaged.

Now, though - I think I agree with Bia. My fiance and I both feel kind of weird and self-conscious about using the term fiance(e) when referring to each other. He''s told me he just refers to me as his wife (mostly around people who don''t know me), and I refer to him as my boyfriend (to acquaintances), and my husband to the plumber and retail salespeople.
 
Date: 12/10/2008 2:52:39 PM
Author: TheBigT
Before I was engaged I felt that way, but I think it was less objection to the term ''boyfriend'' than the desire to be engaged.

Now, though - I think I agree with Bia. My fiance and I both feel kind of weird and self-conscious about using the term fiance(e) when referring to each other. He''s told me he just refers to me as his wife (mostly around people who don''t know me), and I refer to him as my boyfriend (to acquaintances), and my husband to the plumber and retail salespeople.
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BF will also call me "wife" when we meet random people. Like the other day BF and I went grocery shopping and he referred to me as "his wife" with the cashier. I just raised an eyebrow and as we left, reminded him that I wasn''t his wife YET (translation, "Get to work on that proposal buddy!").

I also hate the term "wifey" which a lot of men from my generation use...at least in NY. BF called me that once back in the day and I put a stop to that really quick!
 
Date: 12/10/2008 3:10:22 PM
Author: Bia

BF will also call me ''wife'' when we meet random people. Like the other day BF and I went grocery shopping and he referred to me as ''his wife'' with the cashier. I just raised an eyebrow and as we left, reminded him that I wasn''t his wife YET (translation, ''Get to work on that proposal buddy!'').

I also hate the term ''wifey'' which a lot of men from my generation use...at least in NY. BF called me that once back in the day and I put a stop to that really quick!
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I hate that word, for personal reasons. Your thread angered me because of it.
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LOL.

I should start making FF refer to me as his wife. Then he''ll look like an ass for not having a ring on my finger.
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Hmmmm. I''m recently engaged and my FI and I are both grappling with calling each other fiance to others. Using the word fiance (fiancee) feels uncomfortable and somewhat... pretentious? Since being engaged several co-workers have corrected us when we "slip up" and call the other one boyfriend/girlfriend. I am eager to call him husband.
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Using the word boyfriend really has never bothered me because that title, from my perspective, actually means a lot. In my adult life (I''m 29), I''ve only had 2 boyfriends... other guys I merely "dated." So in my case a guy has to be pretty damn special for me to refer to him as boyfriend.

If a guy is so great that you''re bringing him home for the holidays, I''m sure your family is taking note that this relationship is serious and something to be celebrated, regardless of what title you use to introduce him.
 
I actually don''t mind referring to him as my boyfriend. What is really weird is refering to my mom''s boyfriend as my mom''s boyfriend--they are in their 50s and have been together for years and years!

Sometimes my married friends refer to my BF as my husband as a joke...and then when I correct them they always say "he''s practically your husband!"

The other day at the grocery store, I was by myself, I used my BF''s clubcard and the woman read the receipt and said "Thank You Mrs. HisLastName." I laughed--she asked if she mispronounced it--I said "No, that''s my boyfriend''s last name, it''s his clubcard." She said "Well, hopefully yours soon too."

My BF hates the word fiance--he says it sounds pretentious....I hate the sound of the word "wife"...it sounds so blaah--like a rag you use to dry the dishes...and "wifey" is even worse!! Other languages have such nicer sounding words for wife.
 
Date: 12/10/2008 2:18:04 PM
Author: Bia
I get what you''re saying. Sometime BF doesn''t feel significant enough. Although, ''fiancé'' isn''t appropriate either, even if we have had every single discussion on marriage, kids, family and our lives together in general. So I''ll just stick with ''bf'' until the times comes. Although, to be honest, I don''t love the word fiancé--I mean, its okay. I might just stick with ''boyfriend'' until he becomes ''hubby.''
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I''ll cross that bridge when I get the RING
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I''m with you on that! "Fiance" just is a little weird to me. I don''t know why, but it always has. I''ll probably skip it too, until I can call him "husband".
 
Oh! This was so stressful for me before we got engaged, especially because we travel so much. Do you know how frustrating it is to be at a resort and not be able to charge anything back to "my boyfriend''s room"? It got to the point that I would always call for messages or room service or whatever and say, "My husband, Mr. HisLastName..." and then he would raise his eyebrow or flat out laugh at me! But how ridiculous does boyfriend sound?

So I started calling him my partner. And I would leave messages for him to return his partner''s calls. hahahaha! So he would turn around and say, "Oh, I have to call my wife, please excuse me." hahahaha!

Others I used in public were: "This is my...Lover, Beau, SoulMate" once even said: Oh! Have you met my Significant Other, HisName?" He just about died. He did LOVE me calling him my lover and that one has stuck...

Gotta have a sense of humor sometimes to get your point across...He has slipped up now several times and called me his wife. Granted it has been to silly people like the paperboy, the electric company, etc...but we will get there eventually!
 
I also agree that ''boyfriend'' sounds juvenile and insignificant, but at the same time, calling him ''fiance'' will feel very strange! (not that it''s coming anytime soon!)
On top of that, ''husband'' will be even weirder. This thread reminded me of something that happened at the dentist last week. My BF and I had back to back appointments with a new dentist and he referred to my BF as my husband. I immediately said "He''s not my husband. You can talk to him about that."

Either way, I don''t find that I personally have to introduce my BF as a bf...I think I just end up saying his name and people assume we''re together. I definitely like fiery''s idea of using ''manfriend'' though!
 
Date: 12/10/2008 3:44:44 PM
Author: sammyj
I also agree that ''boyfriend'' sounds juvenile and insignificant, but at the same time, calling him ''fiance'' will feel very strange! (not that it''s coming anytime soon!)
On top of that, ''husband'' will be even weirder. This thread reminded me of something that happened at the dentist last week. My BF and I had back to back appointments with a new dentist and he referred to my BF as my husband. I immediately said ''He''s not my husband. You can talk to him about that.''

Either way, I don''t find that I personally have to introduce my BF as a bf...I think I just end up saying his name and people assume we''re together. I definitely like fiery''s idea of using ''manfriend'' though!
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LOL.

Love it!
 
Date: 12/10/2008 3:16:54 PM
Author: elledizzy5
Date: 12/10/2008 3:10:22 PM

Author: Bia


BF will also call me ''wife'' when we meet random people. Like the other day BF and I went grocery shopping and he referred to me as ''his wife'' with the cashier. I just raised an eyebrow and as we left, reminded him that I wasn''t his wife YET (translation, ''Get to work on that proposal buddy!'').


I also hate the term ''wifey'' which a lot of men from my generation use...at least in NY. BF called me that once back in the day and I put a stop to that really quick!
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I hate that word, for personal reasons. Your thread angered me because of it.
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LOL.


I should start making FF refer to me as his wife. Then he''ll look like an ass for not having a ring on my finger.
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Sorry elle! LOL But yea, that word just doesn''t sit well.
 
bia, I''ve never been called "wifey," (yet) but you can bet it would only be that one time and then I''d put a stop to it!
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tessari, it must be weird to refer to your mom''s guy as a "boyfriend." My grandfather is over 90 years old, and in the last couple years he''s had two "girlfriends." I think of them as girlfriends because they definitely aren''t partners, and significant other sounds weird to me... I believe he calls the current one his "lady friend."
"Hi, have you met my grandfather''s lady friend, Debbie?" Don''t think I could do it with a straight face.


When we were on vacation in Hawaii (recently engaged at the time), EVERYONE kept asking us if we were on our honeymoon, and calling me Mrs. HisLastName. Which is a weird assumption, anyway, considering so many people don''t change their names! I just went with it. But if we hadn''t been engaged I certainly would have corrected them - even if it had to happen 2 - 3 times a day!
 
Sigh, I''ve also had a small number of boyfriends, but still... I''m not so keen on ''fiance'' either, but at least he''d be the only ''fiance'' i''ve had in my life! He deserves the novelty of it as Ive never called anyone that :) Hes happy with me as ''girlfriend'' for now, hes been single quite a while and was headed happily into bachelorhood. So the novelty of ''girlfriend'' hasnt worn off yet for him.

Lol at ''wifey''! When I lived in NYC, one of my friends from jersey (seriously a guido) would call his girlfriend that. I don''t like it.

I think my issue with it is that I am just dying to tell someone what our plans are! So Pricescope is a great outlet ;) You see, most of our friends are mutual, and we met through them. So I feel like we''re holding out on them! I also have the fact that he and our friends are at least 10 years my senior...so i wonder if I''m dealing with insecurities about being taken as seriously as the wives of our friends, you know? He is the last single guy of his friends, so its a bit of a letdown to be known as his ''gf'' to our friends and their wives. Especially as I''m younger than all of them. Idk.

But with more thought, thats silly of me. These people have been my friends for years and I know that I''m good with them. Its just my newfound and unexpected impatience since he brought up marrying me.
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I need to make an introduction thread later today!

Thanks for the great responses. I''m glad that I''m not alone! And gosh, trillionaire! I hope we never have to call a breakup a divorce, but i know exactly what you mean.
 
I hate the word fiance so I still call D my bf. Everyone that''s important to me knows we''re engaged and I don''t care whether others know or not.
 
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