Insomnia

[ladyciel]

I've been having trouble falling asleep the last week or two and it's driving me nuts. I think it's a combination of school stress (research has been at an ugly standstill) and LIW anticipation, both of which have my head whirling. I can't seem to get it to quiet down. I lie in bed and start to stress about school, so I try to calm down by reminding myself of good stuff, like my FF. That gets me daydreaming about the proposal and telling my parents and the wedding planning, and soon enough I'm lying there practically twitching with excitement. All the tricks that have helped before (imagining a bedtime story, counting sheep, etc) aren't working. I really don't want to resort to pills.

So, here I am at 1:30 in the morning, wide awake. I might as well give a LIW update while I'm here. If I've read all the clues in my BF's behavior right (he can be pretty obvious) the ring is currently being made. I don't think it's done yet, but I also don't have any clue when he's expecting it. He has to present his research proposal for school on Sept 5, and he's said before he wanted all his big stress out of the way before he proposes, so I don't expect him to make his move until at least then. That is unless he told me all that to put me off track.

Gah, I don't know what to think or expect. Meanwhile, my parents are planning to visit in Sept, so I'm really hoping he proposes soon so I can celebrate with them in person. I haven't seen them since Christmas. I really wish I could just see my mom to gush to about all of this. I'm also really tempted to make an appt to go try on dresses while she's here so I can do that at least once with my mom there. Of course, I'd prefer to do so with the engagement being official. He'd better not make me wait too long just to try and make it more of a surprise. I'm already losing sleep and it's probably several weeks away still.

Sorry if I'm ranting or making zero sense. I suspect I'm not completely as awake as I feel.

 

[monarch64]

You''re making all kinds of sense, ladyciel! I''m a fellow insomniac, and need to drive home to my parents'' house later this morning with my puppy but still can''t go to sleep! I''ve been off work the last two months and my sleep schedule has been completely blown to bits, and add to that fact that I''m a night owl in general. Anywhoo, I understand your sleeplessness and frustration over the impending possiblity of a proposal! (wow, alliteration galore!)

Would my story be helpful?

 

[mimzy]

aww i''m sorry you are having trouble sleeping! have you tried writing/journaling before you try to sleep? it might sound sort of cheesy but sometimes getting it all out before you try to relax is enough to let you rest easy. if it doesn''t get better you could try melatonin. it''s not really a sleeping pill, but it''s one of the hormones involved in falling asleep - they are in the vitamin section at drugs stores (dont'' be scared by the word hormone! it''s just a natural supplement). they work for me!

i hope you sleep better tonight!

 

[Kayakqueen83]

haha. I have the SAME problem! As soon as a lay down, I start thinging of the work project I have due, or how I''m going to decorate for my friends bridal shower, or what it''s going to be like when my BF proposes. I recently started to get books on tape and I listen to them as I fall asleep. I guess it''s better to focus on a fictional story then analyse my own life while trying to go to sleep!

I hope he proposes before your parents come to town. How nice to spend that time with your family! I''ll be crossing my fingers for you!

 

[happilyeverafter]

Date: 8/17/2007 7:39:51 AM
Author: mimzy
aww i''m sorry you are having trouble sleeping! have you tried writing/journaling before you try to sleep? it might sound sort of cheesy but sometimes getting it all out before you try to relax is enough to let you rest easy.

I totally second this. Mine are usually to-do lists or sometimes from excitement - if I don''t get it out of my head and on paper before going to bed I''ll just think of it all night! I used to try to read books but then I would just keep reading cause they were so interesting!

Once in a while if i''m really having trouble i''ll pull out my old accounting text from university and start reading it. I can''t stand accounting so it works like a charm every time!

Sounds like ur boyfriend is pretty close to proposing, how exciting! I bet that he''ll wait until after his paper is due, but before ur parents come, especially if you don''t see them often. Just in case tho, make sure to remind him many times how exited you are that you get to see your parents, since you see them SO rarely hehe

Good luck with the insomnia!

 

[Pandora II]

I''m a terrible insomniac.

I take enough painkillers for my back to put a horse to sleep and I''m still awake at 4am most days.

The only thing that ever helps me is a relaxation cd I have where you have to do actions - like tensing and relaxing certain muscles. Because you have to concentrate, your mind doesn''t disappear off thinking other things - and so far I''ve always been asleep before the cd ends!

 

[ladyciel]

Thanks for all the support, everyone. I''m sure he''s gotten my hints about proposing before my parents get here. A couple of days ago I asked him if he could "handle entertaining my dad for a few hours if I went dress shopping with my mom...cuz I realllllly want to have that experience with her, especially if she can''t be present to help with most of the other planning, and this will be the ONE time I KNOW she''ll be here, and, and.....*sniffle sniffle, puppy dog eyes, sniffle*"

. He''s no dummy, he probably thought of doing it before they get here on his own anyway. It can''t hurt to be really sure, though, can it?

Let''s just hope the ring is actually ready by then and that he doesn''t come up with some crazy plan that would preclude a before-parents-arrive timeline. My fingers are crossed!

I haven''t tried any of those relaxation cds, so if this keeps up maybe I''ll look into those. I DO have TONS of old textbooks I could pull out. FF has some, too, if I wanted to drive myself mad reading about mass transfer or something (he was a chemical engineering undergrad). Unfortunately, making lists or journaling has never helped me in the past. I end up lying there feeling like I forgot to write something down. Last night I resorted to sleeping on the couch, because for some reason the change of location seems to help me break the cycle. In the end I think what finally worked was imagining I was at the driving range practicing my golf swing, thinking through all the key points and how it should feel. Thankfully that didn''t lead to me fixating on how BAD my golf swing is and how I really need to take live lessons (not just books/dvds) if I ever want to get on an actual course someday. That''s another issue for another time, though.

How long have you guys suffered from insomnia, Monarch and Pandora? Has it been a chronic issue or does it come and go for you? For the past few years I''ve gone through random bouts of it, usually lasting a few weeks. Thankfully it''s never gotten bad enough to drive me to the Dr.

 

[monarch64]

LC, I''ve had trouble sleeping since I was a child. I think it stems from my dad working very late hours and my brother and I wanting to at least see him when he came in around 1-2 a.m. from work because otherwise we didn''t see him at all except for the one day a week he took off from work... Also, Ive always noticed that during stressful times in my life (first day of school as a kid, nights before important tests, starting a new job, getting MARRIED, lol) I have trouble getting to sleep and staying asleep at all weeks beforehand. The most helpful thing my mother ever told me was "don''t worry about falling asleep, just lie down and rest." She told me that the night before I started at a new school in 4th grade, i think, and it worked...it''s stuck with me ever since, although sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn''t. If anything, it relaxes me a bit to think that I don''t HAVE to go to sleep and that I can just lie still and rest until either I fall asleep or I feel awake enough to get up and do something productive. 9 times out of 10 I end up falling asleep within an hour, though, after realizing that I don''t HAVE to sleep. Sort of a mental game I play with myself, I guess.

Honestly, I''ve never been diagnosed, but I suspect I have general anxiety disorder, because I get very apprehensive or even obsessive over changes in my life, or even when I''m faced with doing something different or when I know I''ll be attending an event such as a wedding where I don''t know many people. I''m an extrovert for the most part, but I hate suprises and I like to be uber prepared for things well in advance so I feel more secure going into situations I haven''t previously experienced. I think some people would just call me a worrywart, but it''s a lot more involved than that...sometimes I have difficulty just motivating myself to go to the grocery store or running other mundane errands. I don''t know if GAD is related to insomnia at all, but if I actually suffer from it then in my experience the two probably have something to do with each other.

Recently I read that one shouldn''t watch television or be on the computer ~2 hours before going to bed, as both of those activities really stimulate brain activity and can keep one from falling asleep in a reasonable length of time. I don''t like to fall asleep watching t.v., but I am guilty of "relaxing" on/to Pricescope directly before going to bed...I would blame my insomnia on PS, but I was an insomniac way before the internet was readily accessible!

 

[*RubyRN*]

Ladyciel,

Starting in high school I began having some sleep issues due to mild anxiety, etc., but it was never much of a problem until about a year ago. I graduated school and started working as a nurse and unfortunately have been paying the price health-wise ever since. Kind of hard to explain unless you are in the same job situation..but the kind of stress that you go through daily with the amount of things you are responsible for doing for so many people in so little time, and the way people often treat you (like a slave) can really destroy you if you let it. That being said, we all have different types of stressors that can keep us up at night. I was at the point a couple months ago where my mind just wouldn''t stop racing and I was sleeping 2-3 hours a night and then working 14-16 hours, then sleeping 2-3 hours and doing it again. BAD IDEA. Finally I realized it was a serious problem and started really trying to fix it, and here are some things that work for me:

1. Make sure you get some exercise daily (at least go for a walk)
2. Stop drinking caffeine!!! (hard at first but really makes a difference)
3. Take 2 TUMS or a calcium supplement about an hour before you go to bed
4. Melatonin from the drugstore (this one didn''t work that well for me, but works for a lot of people)
5. Relaxing music, or the sound of a fan or anything than kind of "lulls" you to sleep
6. Advil PM or Benadryl (pretty much the same thing) before bed ONLY on nights that you''re really having problems sleeping, don''t want to get stuck with it every night!

Hope something in there helps!

 

[Delster]

Date: 8/17/2007 3:21:17 PM
Author: Pandora II
I''m a terrible insomniac.


I take enough painkillers for my back to put a horse to sleep and I''m still awake at 4am most days.


The only thing that ever helps me is a relaxation cd I have where you have to do actions - like tensing and relaxing certain muscles. Because you have to concentrate, your mind doesn''t disappear off thinking other things - and so far I''ve always been asleep before the cd ends!

Pandora can you recommend ones you find good? I''d like to try them out!

 

[Delster]

Bump! - shamelessly hoping Pandora sees this!

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 8/24/2007 11:33:46 AM
Author: Delster
Bump! - shamelessly hoping Pandora sees this!

Pandora has a thread in hangout you might want to see if you can catch her there.


I am not sleeping. As I get older I suffer worse. I think working also helps.
To help me I drink sleepy time tea by Celestial Seasons. I try to keep a routine too.
Are you sleeping better? I hope so!!

 

[Delster]

Date: 9/4/2007 6:03:35 AM
Author: Skippy123
Pandora has a thread in hangout you might want to see if you can catch her there.



I am not sleeping. As I get older I suffer worse. I think working also helps.

To help me I drink sleepy time tea by Celestial Seasons. I try to keep a routine too.

Are you sleeping better? I hope so!!

Thanks Skippy, will do!

I am such a poor sleeper lately. I think it's cos I spend my days sitting still, thinking and staring at my computer screen (I'm a PhD student) so I don't use up enough physical energy. When I lie down at night I'm tired but I can't sleep. I don't know the tea you mentioned (I'm in Ireland) but I do drink chamomile tea some nights... it doesn't seem to make any difference.

Tonight I'm going to a dance class to try and burn off some energy, I hope that helps! Here's hoping for a good night's sleep for both of us tonight!

 

[Pandora II]

Sorry!

The cd I have was made by my painclinic - I''ll see if I can find something similar online - or if they''ll send it out if you emailed them.

I have been an insomniac for years. It''s a lot worse when I''m hypomanic (I''m bipolar), and can also trigger me into it - so I''m meant to try and control it. It''s also worse if I''m stressed or have a lot on my mind (which is rather often)

I don''t drink and I don''t have any caffeine either. I don''t have a tv in the bedroom and I only use my bedroom for sleeping - which is suppose to help.

Sometimes a hot bath with some nice essential oils in can help - but watch which ones you use as some are stimulating.

It is so horrible so I really sympathise. My FI is asleep seconds after turning out the lights. Grrrrr

 

[Delster]

Thank you for all the advice! I rarely drink and I don't have caffeine in the evenings (and oftentimes not at all). Unfortunately there is a TV in the bedroom here (shared house - BF uses the bedroom TV when housemate has his fiancee down and he wants to let them watch a romantic movie on the 'big screen'). There no TV in my bedroom at my parents' house and funnily enough I do sleep better there. Baths seem to wake me up - I don't relax in them. Don't really get the whole candlelit bath thing. Yes, I'm very odd.

BF is like your FI - I timed him last night, it took him three minutes to fall asleep! THREE MINUTES?!?!? Huh?!?!?

I was curious what kind of CD you used because it sounded really great with the specific instructions on it instead of just "your arms -- and now your hands -- are feeling more relaxed" kind of stuff. I need the specific instructions or my mind wanders and then it's game over! I had a tape like that years ago, back when I was doing the dreaded Leaving Cert, and it was great...

Hmmmm, must go check out amazon...