If you see your best friend's husband with another woman...

[Dancing Fire]

would you tell her?

 

[mellowyellowgirl]

In what way? Like out to lunch?

My bestie's husband is friends with lots of women. I wouldn't be surprised to run into him and female friend.

 

[MaisOuiMadame]

Seconding @mellowyellowgirl. Nothing wrong with men and women working /talking /lunching ... Unless your besties are the Pences..


IF anything felt off in any way whatsoever, I'd be sure to go over, say Hi and ask him to give a big hug to his lovely wife. And ask her if he said HI from me the other day, 1.20.3 when I talk to her the next time.
(Heck, my best friend's dh is my friend also, so I'd probably go over to say hi anyways...)

 

[missy]

I'd for sure go over and say hello (he's my friend too right?) and ask how his wife is (and if I have any doubt whatsoever I would add please tell her I will call her to set up a double date).
Probably nothing untoward going on there at all.
I have 2 best friends who are men and my dh is 100% good with them.
He trusts me and I trust him.

But I have a feeling you're asking something else @Dancing Fire. You probably want to know would we tell our best friend if we knew her dh was cheating on her. And I would have to answer it depends. Does she really want to know and if so then yes. However if I thought she really does not want to know then I would mind my own business.

I would want to know but not everyone would. So depends on the individual.

 

[Missie1]

Of course I would inform my BFF if I see her DH with another woman. Nothing wrong with being honest doesn’t mean he was doing anything inappropriate.

 

[AV_]

No.

In a contentious conjuncture, I might imagine that another man could approach the man.

I do not want to know what you have seen, unless the scene involved the relevant kind of lawyer.

 

[tyty333]

I would mention it just like I would mention seeing another friend we had in common. I wouldnt jump to conclusion that something
untoward was going on. I have a single guy friend that I go to lunch with every few months. My DH has a girl friend that he used
to work with that he goes out to lunch. We're both good with it. Trust.

 

[hmr_mama]

Yes, I would tell her. But I would not infer anything. This can be a slippery slope.

I once had a friend tell me she saw my husband “out and about with a skinny blonde” in front of several other friends. The blonde hair was gray. He was “out and about” with his mom. Ya, we’re more like acquaintances now.

 

[Dancing Fire]

But I have a feeling you're asking something else @Dancing Fire. You probably want to know would we tell our best friend if we knew her dh was cheating on her. And I would have to answer it depends. Does she really want to know and if so then yes. However if I thought she really does not want to know then I would mind my own business.

I would want to know but not everyone would. So depends on the individual.

If my wife cheated on me I hope he buys her a bigger diamond.

 

[seaurchin]

I think "best friends" equals extra obligation to look out for each other. So I'd mention it to her, casually and privately, then let it drop unless she asks you anything else.

 

[LaylaR]

My best friends' husbands? Like the two women I consider sisters?

If I was the one to catch their husband's in a compromising situation? If there was room for interpretation then would go up and ask very frankly what was going on. They are my friend's too as Missy said. But, if I wasn't buying the answer.... they better start running. FAST. I would drop whatever the heck I was doing and tell my best friend in person if at all possible and in all due haste.

Fortunately, both of my best friends are married to exceptionally good men.

That said, if my best friends' confided in me about their partner's marital infidelities then I'd take their lead and support them in their struggle and empathize with them regardless of what they decided. It's not my place to judge and I'm not in their marriage. And they are well educated, strong, amazing women who know their minds and I trust their judgement.

So the violent reaction would only apply if I was the one who discovered the wrong doing directly.

And my answer is strictly restricted to only two people on this planet.

 

[Tekate]

hard to say, I like what @missy said, I'd walk over and say hi and where' Kath?

all my other besties are divorced.

 

[AV_]

If my wife cheated on me I hope he buys her a bigger diamond.

I go by the same.