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If you got divorced, would you keep wearing your e-ring?

MissStepcut

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I know a lot of PSers are so totally in control over their e-ring that their husband or FI can't really be said to have much ownership of the way it looks. Personally, I picked out the stone and the setting, and my future-FI pretty much just rubber-stamped each stage (well, and paid).

If you got divorced, would you keep your e-ring as a RHR? Would you re-set the center stone? Would you sell it? Give it to him? Something else?
 

ChloeTheGreat

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My future husband helped me answer this question, although he was confused why I was asking...I just explained it was a PriceScope thing and he happily gave feedback.

The answer depends on if it was a bad breakup.
If it was a bad breakup, I would put the ring in my jewelry box and not want to ever see it again. Maybe until I decided I hate the SOB enough to sell it.
If it was a mutual breakup, I would keep it and maybe wear it as a RHR, maybe reset.

I sure hope we don't get divorced! ...I love my man, but I L :love: VE my ring
 

MissStepcut

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Lest anyone think I'm just being morbid, this is inspired by my step-mom, who was engaged, bought a dress with her mother by her side, then didn't marry. She eventually wore the dress at her wedding to my father, because she felt the dress wasn't too attached to that relationship; it was just a dress she and her mother loved and selected together.

I can imagine a few pricescopers feel similarly about their rings or re-sets, and was wondering if I was right.
 

AGBF

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MissStepcut|1318301075|3037462 said:
I know a lot of PSers are so totally in control over their e-ring that their husband or FI can't really be said to have much ownership of the way it looks. Personally, I picked out the stone and the setting, and my future-FI pretty much just rubber-stamped each stage (well, and paid).

If you got divorced, would you keep your e-ring as a RHR? Would you re-set the center stone? Would you sell it? Give it to him? Something else?
I love this question and especially love the first sentence you wrote in your posting!!! In my case, I may be getting a divorce and I have, actually, taken off my wedding band. Since I never thought I'd take that off, and it was the only ring I wore regularly, I am going bare handed most of the time. However, when I went to my godson's wedding, I put on some jewelry, including my solitaire. Ever since I took off my wedding band, I developed some sort pf bone deposit on my left hand ring finger and I can no longer fit my size six rings over that knuckle! (It must be a sign!!!) So I wore it on my right hand. That ring wasn't really my engagement ring, anyway, but I would wear my engagement ring if it fit! (It may be a 5 1/2 and is a tiny gold ring with two one point diamonds inside a gold oval nest.) I got that ring 34 1/2 years ago. It's mine. By golly, why would I do anything but keep it? I was married my whole life!!!

Deb/AGBF
:read:
 

slg47

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I can't imagine I would want to keep wearing it after a divorce. I would probably give it back but I don't think he would accept it...so not sure if I would sell it or reset it.
 

AGBF

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I think there is a huge difference in an engagement ring one received for a brief marriage versus a long marriage; for a marriage with no children versus one with children; for one with the usual problems versus one with hideous abuse.

If one really considers all the extreme ends of the spectrum, it is obvious that no one size fits all!

Deb/AGBF
:read:
 

monarch64

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I was married for 6 years, total (left after 5, took a year to finalize the divorce) and kept wearing my e-ring and wedding band on my right hand for about a year. I loved my rings although my ex designed my e-ring and I had a completely different concept for my wedding band than the one I ended up with. I finally sold my e-ring shortly before my divorce was final, and I recently traded my wedding band in for some other jewelry goodies that I am much happier with. Sometimes the jewelry is tougher to part with than the relationship, I suppose. ;))
 

MissStepcut

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I was engaged before, and whenever a friend (or busybody) hears about it for the first time, they always ask: "did you keep the ring?!"

Well, as a matter of fact, I did. It's mine. He gave it to me and didn't ask for it back... and I didn't offer.
 

slg47

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MissStepcut|1318303644|3037496 said:
I was engaged before, and whenever a friend (or busybody) hears about it for the first time, they always ask: "did you keep the ring?!"

Well, as a matter of fact, I did. It's mine. He gave it to me and didn't ask for it back... and I didn't offer.
do you wear it?
 

MissStepcut

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slg47|1318304302|3037503 said:
MissStepcut|1318303644|3037496 said:
I was engaged before, and whenever a friend (or busybody) hears about it for the first time, they always ask: "did you keep the ring?!"

Well, as a matter of fact, I did. It's mine. He gave it to me and didn't ask for it back... and I didn't offer.
do you wear it?
I don't. I had the stone un-set, since it was my family's to start with, and wear that in a RHR. The setting from the original e-ring is something I would wear, but it's just always been at the bottom of my "project pile." Probably because of the negative emotions I still have attached to it.
 

Hera

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I don't think so because it would probably get a negative association. I would sell it and get a fabulous right hand ring that would represent my new life.
 

Gypsy

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No clue. I don't have kids so... I'd either re-sell it or turn it into a pendant. As it's a well cut asscher-- I'd be most inclined to see if any PS vendor would give me credit toward a different stone. I'd get a custom gemstone for the setting and sell it as a ring.
 

texaskj

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I traded in the first one and I'm going to try to sell the second one. Neither ring was anything to write home about.
 

Jennifer W

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I would keep the ring if we divorced and probably wear it as a rhr, as a reminder of happier days. We got engaged 9 years ago today actually.

My ring is really precious as a symbol of our relationship, but it's also just a ring I love. I'd always wear it, I think. It would remind me of the best time in my life, even if that time was over.
 

Lottie

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A friend of mine's father used to work for a now very famous celebrity jeweller many years ago, when her father asked her mother to marry him it was with a ring he had made himself with advice from this jeweller boss. They split very bitterly when the friend and siblings were small - her mother upped sticks and left as she was bored (although its always worth remembering there are two sides to every story!), although her mother kept the engagement ring she purposely ruined it.

This was a long time ago, her mother and father now have an amicable relationship as parents and she has offered my friend the ring. She has told me that she would have loved the ring as an amazing piece of jewellery, and also a symbol of how things were for her parents at the beginning but because her mother damaged it knowing it was made by her father, she feels it has been contaminated and sees it now as very negative object.

I would definately keep my engagement ring, but I don't know what I would do with it. If we didn't have children I would reset/remake it into something else but I think for me personally I would keep it for our daughter - I hope that if we ever were to split we would do our best to co parent with as little negativity as possible and as such think I would give her the option of having it.

I don't think you can ever really know what you would do until you are actually going through it.
 

zoebartlett

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I wouldn't continue wearing my engagement ring as a RHR. I'd probably just keep it until I decided if I wanted to reset it or sell it.
 

AGBF

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MissStepcut|1318301075|3037462 said:
I know a lot of PSers are so totally in control over their e-ring that their husband or FI can't really be said to have much ownership of the way it looks. Personally, I picked out the stone and the setting, and my future-FI pretty much just rubber-stamped each stage (well, and paid).

If you got divorced, would you keep your e-ring as a RHR? Would you re-set the center stone? Would you sell it? Give it to him? Something else?
I have started to wonder how many women responding that they would sell or otherwise get rid of this engagement ring have children. The reason I have begun to wonder about this is that the more I ponder this issue, the more I think that one does not simply get rid of the ring with which a child's parents were married.

I may feel differently from the parents of boys since I have a girl, but as the mother of a girl, I can't imagine giving away the ring my daughter's father gave me when he proposed.

Deb/AGBF
:read:
 

Mayk

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I did get divorced and I didn't wear my ring afterwards... for a couple of reasons.. one... bad divorce, bad memories; two.. it was a smaller graduated five stone bezel set band, I am not sure it's 1 ctw. It certainly doesn't have a certificate. Since it wasn't really an e-ring I didn't even consider resetting. I put it away, maybe my daughter would like to have it one day for something...
 

Jennifer W

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AGBF|1318327654|3037626 said:
MissStepcut|1318301075|3037462 said:
I know a lot of PSers are so totally in control over their e-ring that their husband or FI can't really be said to have much ownership of the way it looks. Personally, I picked out the stone and the setting, and my future-FI pretty much just rubber-stamped each stage (well, and paid).

If you got divorced, would you keep your e-ring as a RHR? Would you re-set the center stone? Would you sell it? Give it to him? Something else?
I have started to wonder how many women responding that they would sell or otherwise get rid of this engagement ring have children. The reason I have begun to wonder about this is that the more I ponder this issue, the more I think that one does not simply get rid of the ring with which a child's parents were married.

I may feel differently from the parents of boys since I have a girl, but as the mother of a girl, I can't imagine giving away the ring my daughter's father gave me when he proposed.

Deb/AGBF
:read:
It doesn't come into the equation for me at all. As I see it, it's my engagement, marriage and ring, nothing to do with the kid.We got a 5 stone band when our daughter was born, to celebrate and mark the occasion - that's the one I could never sell or re-set and will pass to her intact, because that's the one that is about the child. The wedding set, that's about me and J and that particular chapter in our lives. We lived together for three years and were married for 5 years before having a child though, so it really is a chapter. We did a lot in that time.
 

yennyfire

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I have both a son and a daughter. I have to be honest, if DH and I divorced (even amicably), I don't know that I'd want my son to use it to propose to his future wife. I'd want him to get a new ring with no history and let it and them make their own history. As for my daughter, I don't know that I'd want her wearing it as a RHR. Seeing it all of the time would just remind me of our failure. I don't think I'd have as much of an issue with her taking the stone and setting it into a pendant or something.

It's certainly something I hope never to have to contemplate seriously.
 

bee*

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I don't think I would continue wearing it if we divorced. I am in love with my ring but I also love that it symbolises our engagement and subsequent marriage. So I think I'd keep it and decide what to do with it afterwards.
 

luv2sparkle

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My daughter ended up selling her ring. I think she would have liked to keep wearing it, because she really loved it, but she just felt to
weird about it, even on her right hand.

I don't think I would keep wearing mine. If DH and I have an argument (which is not very often thankfully) I don't even wear my rings.
I have a few I switch around and wear as a wedding ring, and I don't wear anything. It's all really connected for me. I don't know why,
but if things aren't right between us, I can't wear the symbol. Is that Freudian or what?


Deb, can I just say, I am really sorry about what you are going through. I wish I could give you a hug.
 

ame

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MissStepcut|1318301075|3037462 said:
I know a lot of PSers are so totally in control over their e-ring that their husband or FI can't really be said to have much ownership of the way it looks. Personally, I picked out the stone and the setting, and my future-FI pretty much just rubber-stamped each stage (well, and paid).

If you got divorced, would you keep your e-ring as a RHR? Would you re-set the center stone? Would you sell it? Give it to him? Something else?
It would depend on the circumstances I think. I'd probably set it aside or sell it back to GOG or give it to my sister for a lower price to use in her ring.
 

JillyC

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I took my rings off after something occurred in my marriage that caused me to contemplate divorce. At that point I had been married for 26 years and my girls grew up admiring my rings and often asking to try them on.
Although it's now five years later and we have since reconciled, I never put the rings back on and I never will. The rings have no more meaning to me, but I will keep them for my daughters, to whom they do have meaning.

I know several people who have kept wearing their rings throughout their divorce. I guess the meaning of the rings, or rather the meaning each of us attaches to the rings themselves varies.
 

Octavia

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Jennifer W|1318320555|3037593 said:
I would keep the ring if we divorced and probably wear it as a rhr, as a reminder of happier days. We got engaged 9 years ago today actually.

My ring is really precious as a symbol of our relationship, but it's also just a ring I love. I'd always wear it, I think. It would remind me of the best time in my life, even if that time was over.
Jen, I feel the same way, but about my wedding ring. I would probably stack it with some other bands on my right hand, but I suppose a lot would depend on the circumstances. I would consign my e-ring or trade it in toward some other piece of jewelry, though. Incidentally, today is our second anniversary. :))
 

diamondseeker2006

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I have two daughters and have a granddaughter on the way next month (!) so I certainly would keep my original 1 ct. diamond for them. I would reset my upgrade diamond into some other setting because I wouldn't wear a solitaire. It was for an anniversary, but since I picked it out, it wouldn't hold any kind of negative feelings for me. But after being married 34 years, I hope I don't have to worry about this!
 

maplefemme

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I am divorced, he never asked for it back, I had no reason to keep it. I bought a helium balloon from the dollar store, tied my engagement ring and wedding band to it and let it fly off... It's probably wrapped around a pine tree in the Rockies!
No regrets about it either, felt good.
 

stargurl78

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I think if it were me, I wouldn't be able to wear the e-ring as it is but I would have no problem re-setting the stone into a pendant or buying another diamond and making studs. However, if he asked for it back I'm not sure how I would react. On the one hand, he paid for it, but on the other hand, it was a gift to me...
 

TooPatient

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Even if my mother had kept her rings from her marriage to my father, I would NOT want to have anything to do with them. The feelings over that relationship are just too negative and I don't care to have a reminder around. (this would be true for a re-set also)
 
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