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Well, that is if we are doing things the traditional Chinese way...that is what happens when my parents and their friends go out. Everyone fights to pay
If I ask you and your SO to join my wife and I for dinner at a restaurant.
- Thread starter Dancing Fire
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Bring your dad...
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Bring your dad...
I’ll bring my dad if you bring your diamond!
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I'm in town and free tomorrow if you're asking. DH is at home. Just kidding. I would pay or split it with you if you asked. I am the sneaky pay when you're not looking kind of person. But I'd let you catch it next time.
Edit - I'd be fully amenable to talking politics.
DH is at home. Just kidding. I would pay or split it with you if you asked. I am the sneaky pay when you're not looking kind of person. But I'd let you catch it next time.Edit - I'd be fully amenable to talking politics.
Last edited:
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No. We'd pay our share.
If you invited us to a party at your house (not a pot luck party, an actual party you are hosting) I'd expect you to provide the food though. I have had people invite me to parties and then ask me what dish I plan to bring! Rude!
If you invited us to a party at your house (not a pot luck party, an actual party you are hosting) I'd expect you to provide the food though. I have had people invite me to parties and then ask me what dish I plan to bring! Rude!
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With my parents (and my husband’s parents) it goes like this:
If we suggest we eat out, we pay. If they suggest we eat out... we also pay.
If we suggest we eat out, we pay. If they suggest we eat out... we also pay.
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Haha!
Usually if I’m asking my friend to go somewhere specific that I really want to eat at which is somewhat expensive, I’ll pay since I don’t want to assume they have the financial liquidity to do it comfortably. Otherwise we will split or more likely order and pay for our fast food lol. I’m in my 30s and my friends range from well off to constantly broke so a lot of it also depends on who I’m going to eat with. Recently my friend who is a criminally underpaid teacher was in town and I told them they were not allowed to pay for food.
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It depends! If you said to let you take us to dinner, I would expect you would be paying. If it was just to meet up for dinner, then I would figure either we would argue over who would pay (let me, no let me!) or we would get separate checks. Restaurants around here usually ask and are good about keeping separate checks so each person/couple pays for what they ordered.
We have some friends who do one way and others who do the other. We mostly go out with those who do separate checks. That is partially because that group gets together every month and partially because of the separate checks. One couple in particular makes the arguing over who is paying a lose-lose sort of situation for us. We always end up at places where it is easily $100/person excluding wine/tax/tip. Then she likes to order everything (okay, not quite) on the menu and several bottles of $$$ wine (remember this is for just 4 people). A meal is usually well over $600 with them. (Usually DH and I have had the equivalent of maybe $200 of food/wine out of that) She won't hear of separate checks. I always make sure we can cover $800+ if we go out with them. I have managed to get the check once. (That one was $1,200 after tax and tip!) I always hate when she grabs the check before it even gets to the table (her husband seems annoyed that they almost always pay and has told her to let me have the check sometimes as I am trying to treat them). That said, the amounts are so high that we almost never get together anymore!
We have some friends who do one way and others who do the other. We mostly go out with those who do separate checks. That is partially because that group gets together every month and partially because of the separate checks. One couple in particular makes the arguing over who is paying a lose-lose sort of situation for us. We always end up at places where it is easily $100/person excluding wine/tax/tip. Then she likes to order everything (okay, not quite) on the menu and several bottles of $$$ wine (remember this is for just 4 people). A meal is usually well over $600 with them. (Usually DH and I have had the equivalent of maybe $200 of food/wine out of that) She won't hear of separate checks. I always make sure we can cover $800+ if we go out with them. I have managed to get the check once. (That one was $1,200 after tax and tip!) I always hate when she grabs the check before it even gets to the table (her husband seems annoyed that they almost always pay and has told her to let me have the check sometimes as I am trying to treat them). That said, the amounts are so high that we almost never get together anymore!
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When can I come to visit you?
We typically split the bill. If we are going to treat we would let the couple know in advance. (i.e. We want to take you out for your anniversary, a good bye dinner , a congrats meal or a thank you, etc) If they are out of town guests we pick up the tab.
It's funny how things must be a little different in the US. Here, we just let the server know how to divide the bill (they usually ask, one bill or two? and then you say "two - we are together, and they are together," and the server brings back two separate bills for each couple, neatly dividing according to who ordered what). Saves resentment if someone doesn't drink, or someone orders expensive stuff.
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''
i think that varies by region. when i lived in CA, servers would not divide checks....now in TX it is never an issue no matter how many people are in your party....
Rubymal
Shiny_Rock
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My SIL once invited me to her home for Thanksgiving dinner. Little did I know, this meant planning and ordering all the food for her and making extra dishes to bring while she prepared bags of premixed salad. She didnt even have enough silverware prepared!
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Normally with close friends we split the bill. We have one friend who only orders salads so we tell her to give us less for her portion.
If it’s a close friend and/or special occasion then I will offer to pay for everything.
It’s when I go out with acquaintances that I find it gets tricky. I find in general I always pay more to cover everyone else or to cover the tip better. It just always seems to work out this way.
For example the last time I went out with co-workers I really got stiffed with the bill so I’m trying to learn my lesson now. Long story short we went out for happy hour ($5 drinks and apps), there were 6 of us. I ordered two drinks and three apps (which everyone shared with me) which should have been $25 plus tip. We were in De so no tax.
The bill was $150, which amounted to $180 with the tip. Someone handed me $20 to cover their cost, another person gave me $10 and someone else gave me $40. Two other people left even before we asked for the bill.
I ate the rest of the bill. So not fair since I got there an hour late and I had no idea what everyone ordered.
The problem is when you go out with a few people you just don’t know what was ordered and there’s no clear distinction of how it’s all going to go down when the bill comes. And you don’t want to look like a moron asking for separate bills when there are so many of you. And I’m also not comfortable asking for money or more money. You’re an adult and should know what you’re supposed to give.
But for now on I think I will have to keep my own tab or just figure out my portion and carry cash.
It’s happened to me too many times now and even my husband gets upset about it.
If it’s a close friend and/or special occasion then I will offer to pay for everything.
It’s when I go out with acquaintances that I find it gets tricky. I find in general I always pay more to cover everyone else or to cover the tip better. It just always seems to work out this way.
For example the last time I went out with co-workers I really got stiffed with the bill so I’m trying to learn my lesson now. Long story short we went out for happy hour ($5 drinks and apps), there were 6 of us. I ordered two drinks and three apps (which everyone shared with me) which should have been $25 plus tip. We were in De so no tax.
The bill was $150, which amounted to $180 with the tip. Someone handed me $20 to cover their cost, another person gave me $10 and someone else gave me $40. Two other people left even before we asked for the bill.
I ate the rest of the bill. So not fair since I got there an hour late and I had no idea what everyone ordered.
The problem is when you go out with a few people you just don’t know what was ordered and there’s no clear distinction of how it’s all going to go down when the bill comes. And you don’t want to look like a moron asking for separate bills when there are so many of you. And I’m also not comfortable asking for money or more money. You’re an adult and should know what you’re supposed to give.
But for now on I think I will have to keep my own tab or just figure out my portion and carry cash.
It’s happened to me too many times now and even my husband gets upset about it.
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:O so what do you do!
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If it's good friends we take turns to pay, if it's a group everyone just leaves money on the table or pays back one person via something like Paypal....
My husband's parents usually pay if the whole family eats out, if it's his sister (who has 5 kids that are now grown up with partners) they seem to automatically expect him to pay for them all.... we all don't live near each other any more so it's a rare occasion anyway these days.
They actually have signs up in a lot of places here that say we do not split bills or one bill per table.
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