teebee
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2004
- Messages
- 812
Okay, so, Bryan & I were officially engaged this last Wednesday, January 12th. We started looking at rings March of 2003.
When we met, in August of 2002, we were introduced by a mutual friend ~ my friend Michelle who I had previously worked with and Bryan had very briefly dated. Now, I love this girl, she is so much fun, smart, good-hearted, etc. When we worked together we would go eat Thai food together (we have a mutual obsession with Asian food) at least 2x a week. When she left the company for another job, we still talked often, had lunch together, played hookie from work and went to see matinee movies together. And she was always so excited that it had worked out between me & Bryan. She has a terrific husband and he and Bryan have hit it off as well. So, everything is great... The four of us went on vacation to Mexico last May and had such a blast, fun fun fun!!! And, although she has always been somewhat of a free-spirit sort of scatterbrained individual, she''s never really been thoroughly neglectful or cold.
Like, sometimes I would call her and leave a message or two, and she''d not get around to calling me back for a week or few ~ usually there was a completely legitimate and valid excuse (she travels a lot for her job, as does her husband so sometimes their schedules can get pretty manic). And after that sort of thing would occurr she would apologize profusely and she''d make sure to find time within a few days to get together for lunch or dinner or invite me over to their house, etc.
So, last summer she and her husband bought a new home and we went over for their housewarming get together. In the meantime I was completing the remodel on my house and getting ready to put it on the market & making all the preparations to move to Oklahoma City to be w/ Bryan. Once I moved to OKC, she and I talked several times, and when she was in town we met for wine and appetizers, had a good time and joked about my not having a ring yet and that whether there was an engagement or not, she and her husband were headed back to Mexico in May for our wedding... Then I was back in Tulsa a couple of weeks later to accept the offer on my house, she and I had lunch again, everything is fine...
Then a month later I was back in Tulsa to go to the closing on my house, this was late October, so I called her, left a message. She didn''t call back, not too unusual, so a couple of weeks later I left another message just saying hi, wanted to catch up... Never called me back... I called her a week or so after Thanksgiving, never called me back. But, since she''s a scatterbrain (but not stupid, she''s smart and her job requires a pretty high degree of organizationall skills...) and it''s the holidays, I figure she''s really busy and I give her the benefit of the doubt.
So, ever since Bryan and I started talking marriage, I had of course considered her for one of my bridesmaids, especially since she was responsible for us meeting in the first place. And, I just don''t have a lot of girl friends... I''m just one of those people that is kind of a homebody and I enjoy my time alone. I just don''t have a lot of life-long close friends, it seems that I often have friends for a few years, but we drift apart, and I''ve always felt that sometimes, we have friends in our lives that are there for a reason or for a specific time in our lives, not necessarily forever. But I always thought Michelle would be one of the exceptions to that. One of the reasons I was so sad to move from Tulsa was that she and I had talked about how fun it would be to live in the same neighborhood, raise our babies together, etc.
And now I''m engaged and waiting to surprise my family w/ it until we see them at the end of this month... But, I''m just bursting at the seems to tell someone!!! So, I call Michelle Saturday and her husband answers the phone, says she''s out running errands, I tell him that I''ve had trouble getting a hold of her, so just tell her I called. Then I leave a message on her cell to please call me back.... She hasn''t called me back... And I''m so upset and hurt... I just don''t understand what happened???? I haven''t talked to her since September & that is obviously way beyond the scope of "oops, I got so busy I haven''t had a chance to call you back"...
I''m not sure what to do, because some part of me wants to confront her about just completely dropping me. Another problem is that her husband and my fiance exchange emails periodically and so, essentially, they are now better friends than I am with Michelle. I will still invite them to the wedding, that won''t bother me at all. But, I''m also tempted to never call her again, just send them an invitation in about a year and call it good. I would guess at that point she would call and congratulate me and ask me when we got engaged, to which I would respond "oh, a year ago, I tried calling to tell you, but you never called back." Is that completely petty of me? Bryan has offered to email her husband, just be straight and honest and tell him that we''re engaged, Michelle won''t return my calls, and I''m really hurt, what''s the deal? Or, I considered just leaving another message, saying hey, we''re engaged, really wanted to tell you voice to voice...
Oh good grief, I don''t know... Part of me just wants to call it a loss and write her off, and initially, that''s what Bryan advised me to do ~ I''ve made my effort, plenty of it, if she can''t even reciprocate a phone call, so be it. But even Bryan agrees that she''s just not a bad person, she''s not mean, and he''s a little curious about what the deal is too... Anyhow, I have no idea how to handle this, and I was just really really excited to share this excitement with her even though we hadn''t talked in a while. And I''m disappointed that it doesn''t appear that I have even one close friend to call and be happy for me.
I''ve met several of Bryan''s friends wives, and they''re great and I''m sure in time, they will be close friends as well, but... you know, for right now, it''s just not the same. I''m going to ask my cousin to be my maid of honor and I guess the other 3 bridesmaids will be wives of Bryan''s friends.
Okay, thanks for listening, or reading...? and letting me vent... sometimes, people suck...
When we met, in August of 2002, we were introduced by a mutual friend ~ my friend Michelle who I had previously worked with and Bryan had very briefly dated. Now, I love this girl, she is so much fun, smart, good-hearted, etc. When we worked together we would go eat Thai food together (we have a mutual obsession with Asian food) at least 2x a week. When she left the company for another job, we still talked often, had lunch together, played hookie from work and went to see matinee movies together. And she was always so excited that it had worked out between me & Bryan. She has a terrific husband and he and Bryan have hit it off as well. So, everything is great... The four of us went on vacation to Mexico last May and had such a blast, fun fun fun!!! And, although she has always been somewhat of a free-spirit sort of scatterbrained individual, she''s never really been thoroughly neglectful or cold.
Like, sometimes I would call her and leave a message or two, and she''d not get around to calling me back for a week or few ~ usually there was a completely legitimate and valid excuse (she travels a lot for her job, as does her husband so sometimes their schedules can get pretty manic). And after that sort of thing would occurr she would apologize profusely and she''d make sure to find time within a few days to get together for lunch or dinner or invite me over to their house, etc.
So, last summer she and her husband bought a new home and we went over for their housewarming get together. In the meantime I was completing the remodel on my house and getting ready to put it on the market & making all the preparations to move to Oklahoma City to be w/ Bryan. Once I moved to OKC, she and I talked several times, and when she was in town we met for wine and appetizers, had a good time and joked about my not having a ring yet and that whether there was an engagement or not, she and her husband were headed back to Mexico in May for our wedding... Then I was back in Tulsa a couple of weeks later to accept the offer on my house, she and I had lunch again, everything is fine...
Then a month later I was back in Tulsa to go to the closing on my house, this was late October, so I called her, left a message. She didn''t call back, not too unusual, so a couple of weeks later I left another message just saying hi, wanted to catch up... Never called me back... I called her a week or so after Thanksgiving, never called me back. But, since she''s a scatterbrain (but not stupid, she''s smart and her job requires a pretty high degree of organizationall skills...) and it''s the holidays, I figure she''s really busy and I give her the benefit of the doubt.
So, ever since Bryan and I started talking marriage, I had of course considered her for one of my bridesmaids, especially since she was responsible for us meeting in the first place. And, I just don''t have a lot of girl friends... I''m just one of those people that is kind of a homebody and I enjoy my time alone. I just don''t have a lot of life-long close friends, it seems that I often have friends for a few years, but we drift apart, and I''ve always felt that sometimes, we have friends in our lives that are there for a reason or for a specific time in our lives, not necessarily forever. But I always thought Michelle would be one of the exceptions to that. One of the reasons I was so sad to move from Tulsa was that she and I had talked about how fun it would be to live in the same neighborhood, raise our babies together, etc.
And now I''m engaged and waiting to surprise my family w/ it until we see them at the end of this month... But, I''m just bursting at the seems to tell someone!!! So, I call Michelle Saturday and her husband answers the phone, says she''s out running errands, I tell him that I''ve had trouble getting a hold of her, so just tell her I called. Then I leave a message on her cell to please call me back.... She hasn''t called me back... And I''m so upset and hurt... I just don''t understand what happened???? I haven''t talked to her since September & that is obviously way beyond the scope of "oops, I got so busy I haven''t had a chance to call you back"...
I''m not sure what to do, because some part of me wants to confront her about just completely dropping me. Another problem is that her husband and my fiance exchange emails periodically and so, essentially, they are now better friends than I am with Michelle. I will still invite them to the wedding, that won''t bother me at all. But, I''m also tempted to never call her again, just send them an invitation in about a year and call it good. I would guess at that point she would call and congratulate me and ask me when we got engaged, to which I would respond "oh, a year ago, I tried calling to tell you, but you never called back." Is that completely petty of me? Bryan has offered to email her husband, just be straight and honest and tell him that we''re engaged, Michelle won''t return my calls, and I''m really hurt, what''s the deal? Or, I considered just leaving another message, saying hey, we''re engaged, really wanted to tell you voice to voice...
Oh good grief, I don''t know... Part of me just wants to call it a loss and write her off, and initially, that''s what Bryan advised me to do ~ I''ve made my effort, plenty of it, if she can''t even reciprocate a phone call, so be it. But even Bryan agrees that she''s just not a bad person, she''s not mean, and he''s a little curious about what the deal is too... Anyhow, I have no idea how to handle this, and I was just really really excited to share this excitement with her even though we hadn''t talked in a while. And I''m disappointed that it doesn''t appear that I have even one close friend to call and be happy for me.
I''ve met several of Bryan''s friends wives, and they''re great and I''m sure in time, they will be close friends as well, but... you know, for right now, it''s just not the same. I''m going to ask my cousin to be my maid of honor and I guess the other 3 bridesmaids will be wives of Bryan''s friends.
Okay, thanks for listening, or reading...? and letting me vent... sometimes, people suck...
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