I just sent a rather scathing letter to my wedding venue

[doodle]

I know after our wedding, I posted a decent amount of pictures and a small amount of details, but I was pretty vague about all the problems we had with our wedding venue. We even had over a dozen wedding guests complain to us later about the day-of coordinator assigned by our venue being rude to people! I was going to leave it alone since the wedding''s over and done with, until I got a phone call from my sister''s grandmother the other day, whose niece is soon getting married at the same venue. I really don''t know why I''m even posting this--I guess I figured if anyone would understand where I''m coming from, it''d be a forum full of brides-- past, present, and future--who know how a bride SHOULD be treated on her wedding day! I''m just feeling really sad and disappointed right now because we had such a great experience with the rest of our vendors, and I really don''t like conflict, so I feel bad that I didn''t get to write a letter thanking them for the stellar execution of our wedding.

Maybe me detailing to them examples of things they messed up royally will make them pay better attention to their business practices in the future and not taint another bride''s wedding day...here''s hoping!

If your wedding venue totally dropped the ball with your wedding, how would you handle it after the fact?

 

[oobiecoo]

I just sent a letter to our reception venue about how upset I was with the mistakes... this is 6 months after my wedding. I don''t know why it took me so long or why I decided to do it now... but I did. So I feel ya!

 

[oobiecoo]

Wanted to add... it was actually an email, not a snail mail. Its been about a week and the lady hasn''t responded...

 

[doodle]

mine was an email, too...if they hadn''t screwed us on charges for so many things, i might''ve been able to afford a stamp...

i try to comfort myself with the knowledge that, so far, i''ve deterred four other brides from booking that venue, so that''s a loss of $20,000 for them. wow, that makes me a little happy every time i think about it!

 

[Gypsy]

A letter, like you said. Bad reviews Yelp, the knot, project wedding, all bridal boards period and IF it were bad enough, local radio station (it would have to be pretty bad for that though) or local news station.

 

[musey]

Date: 11/14/2008 6:00:04 PM
Author: Gypsy
A letter, like you said. Bad reviews Yelp, the knot, project wedding, all bridal boards period and IF it were bad enough, local radio station (it would have to be pretty bad for that though) or local news station.

Full ditto.

I would (and did, though none were very negative) give REALLY detailed reviews on every planning resource I could think of.

 

[bee*]

Date: 11/14/2008 6:00:04 PM
Author: Gypsy
A letter, like you said. Bad reviews Yelp, the knot, project wedding, all bridal boards period and IF it were bad enough, local radio station (it would have to be pretty bad for that though) or local news station.

I''d be the exact same. I hate conflict and although it my wedding would have been done and dusted I think that they charge so much money so they should provide the goods that they promise, which includes staff being friendly to your guests.

 

[Nocturnius]

You shouldn''t feel bad. If you were disappointed, you were disappointed, and you have every right in the world to express that disappointment. If there were things you loved about the venue, then sure, mention those, too. But you need to express your concerns because A) it will make you feel better that you got it off your chest, B) the venue won''t straighten up if you don''t tell them what was wrong.

Working in the service industry, I know firsthand it sucks to get bad reviews. But it''s so much worse when it''s a MAJOR problem that could have been avoided if someone had complained back when it was only a minor one.

Be glad you gave them a heads up, and just try to smile back on your wedding now. Those issues are officially resolved now that you''ve expressed them.

 

[Mediterranean]

I am SO SORRY that this has happened to you! I get upset at the disconnect that there seems to be between vendors and brides, as well. I have my own little nit-picky issues (for instance, when I was interviewing vendors, I crossed off every single vendor who neglected to congratulate us on our engagement. In my mind, people who didn''t congratulate us and weren''t genuinely happy for us, are not people who are happy working on weddings. They''re jaded, and to them Brides & Grooms = $$$, and nothing more).

I agree that the best way to send a message is by not recommending the vendor to anyone else. I don''t know what each wedding website''s policy is, but I do believe that The Knot and Wedding Channel remove negative reviews of vendors (in, like, 20 seconds or less if the vendor advertises on their site).

I would probably write a physical letter and snail-mail it. I would outline each and every single item which you felt was mishandled, in order of importance. Also, make a list of remedies that would make you feel satisfied as a customer (even if the only remedy you want is 10% cash back for the distress).

If I were you, I would let the venue know that you are acquainted with couples who are newly engaged and that they''re asking you for recommendations. I''d say, if i were you, that although it makes your heart heavy to do so, you cannot, in good conscience, recommend their services due to your level of dissatisfaction.

I would say nothing in that letter which would allude to the fact that you''ll be speaking negatively about them. That could be construed as slander, and you don''t want to open yourself up for a lawsuit. It''s enough to say that you''re so unhappy with your experience that you fall silent when friends ask you about your venue, and that it breaks your heart that the memories of your wedding are permanently marred by the coordinator''s lack of professionalism, etc., etc.

Unfortunately, many vendors view brides as one-time-only customers. They feels as though they can treat you as poorly as they choose to, because you will not bring them any repeat business. Those vendors don''t understand the concept of an establishment''s reputation in the community, nor do they fully comprehend the power of a recommendation.

If you''re treated very well by a business, you''ll tell some of your friends. If you''re treated in an acceptable (not outstanding) manner, you probably won''t mention it at all to anyone. But when a customer is treated with outrageously poor service, that customer tells EVERYONE for MILES.

Think about this very board: we know by HEART who all of the fabulous, go-that-extra-mile jewelers are. We know whose product and service are outstanding, we know who stretches themselves for their customers. We also know the horrifically AWFUL vendors. We can name THEM by heart, too. The middle of the road vendors? Eh. Not so much.

I would write a letter mentioning to your venue the strength and importance of word-of-mouth, and the many, many choices (besides them) that a bride and groom have.

 

[doodle]

thanks for the advice and the support--i really appreciate it, and sometimes it''s nice to hear something other than "it''s over with now, so don''t worry about it." the thing that really got to me about the whole thing is that the woman who runs the place is a sweet little old lady, and i feel like she genuinely wants to do well, but she has ZERO business savvy, and the place is a family-run operation with the older couple and their two daughters, plus some hired staff. at any given point, you''re answering to four or five different people, all of whom give you conflicting information, and it''s really disorganized. i told them this in the email (I say "them" because i have no clue which of them will actually receive the email!), and i told them that i very much hoped my disappointment would lead them to a better business and a brighter future. the outside lady that they assigned us as a day-of coordinator was just horrific, though.

i did also tell them that they had already lost business as a result of how our guests were treated. there were three other brides-to-be at our wedding who had been considering that venue until they were treated rudely by the DOC, and there was a fourth who asked me, "If you knew what you know now, would you still book the same vendors?" and i told her i wouldn''t book the same venue ig i got a redo. i''m hoping that isn''t saying enough to get me in any trouble.

as for the sites where you can review vendors, i did one with projectwedding because they sent me a form to fill out, but i''m confused about some of the others, like theknot.com. the knot doesn''t have a local board for my town (the city closest to us with a locals board is almost 2 hours away)--would i still be able to do a review of our vendors? how does that work exactly if you don''t have a local board to post to? would i just post on the one for atlanta or what?

again, thank you all so much. i feel a lot more peace with my decision after hearing that the cheese doesn''t stand alone, if you know what i mean!

 

[DiamondsforDee]

Definitely post on the Knot local board for the city closest to your reception venue. I live in NC and we have 1 local board for the entire state.

But it is still really helpful and I have gotten a ton of good recommendations for vendors. It has made a huge difference in my vendor search, so even if you only help a small number of brides to be with your negative review, you''re still helping them!

 

[swimmer]

Ditto on the knot and yelp reviews. I wanted to praise some of my vendors who went above and beyond so posted both places and two vendors figure out who I was and emailed TYs. I nixed a vendor b/c of yelp reviews that were clear about strengths and weaknesses; your post will be helpful to future brides. The family owned venue situation is difficult, it doesn''t sound like they went out of their way to be awful but they need to know about their day of outside lady, and brides should know that it is not a well oiled machine over there. Hey, its all Karma you know.