I have to tell someone before I start crying...

[Italiahaircolor]

A couple of weeks ago I posted wondering if a certain outfit would be "okay" enough for a family photo (and by family photo, I mean 6 adults). The general concenus was that yes, I''d be fine. So, after getting the approval from everyone and feeling confident about my choice, I told my DH to tell his parents that what we were planning on wearing. My DH told his father that we''d be wearing black and white, I was in a dress...he''d be wearing dress pants and a button up....His father okay''d the whole thing at the time...

This all happened a minimum of 2 weeks ago.

In the past two days, I''ve recieved two e-mails from my MIL. The first e-mail I recieved was a forward from the "photographer" aka the lady setting up shop after her divorce who lives down the street from my MIL & FIL. The e-mail was excel style, and listed out several "rules" for taking a good photo--like, don''t get your hair cut upto 7 days before (which, is BS). The first e-mail actually made me laugh, and I completely dismissed it as the womans attempt at being professional. However, last night I get an e-mail from my MIL telling me that D & C have decided that they want to wear black shirts and khaki pants, so she hopes that DH and I will have time to get some before next Friday

. She also mentioned that she thinks my DH and I will "clash" with D & C...

Okay, this may seem small...but its final straw for me. She not only (once agained) bowed to D & C ignoring the fact that DH and I spoke up weeks ago...but, refered to us as "kids"...and that, in and of itself, spoke volumes!!!! We''re still kids...I know my DH will always be her son, her child...but we are NOT kids. We are adults, with a mortgage, and jobs, and educations, and a life that is just as important as theirs!!!!

I understand that C is almost my MIL''s age, and ergo will probably always be treated more like an equal than I will be...however, that doesn''t mean my DH and I have to always be the ones that bend, does it?

I''ve honestly been dreading this Christmas thing for months, and now the closer it gets the sadder I am becoming...I''m fighting a losing war, and the reality of that is setting in big time. My DH, God love him, is a people pleaser. He respects his parents, and he loves me...and although I know he''s on my side, his ways of tackling the issues is just to mention them politely, taking their answer or response at facing value, and then letting whatever it is that was bothering US drop. Nothing gets resolved. NOTHING, EVER!!!!!!

I was raised to respect my elders...and since my MIL is my elder, I feel this unending need to respect her, and show her respect...I''m never going to be the girl that screams at her, or tells her off, or even confronts her...that''s not me. I''ve depending on my DH, but he doesn''t get the point across....

I''m so upset, I''m sitting here at work on the brink of tears of frusteration, disappointment, and anger...

Thank you all for letting me vent...

 

[vespergirl]

I would just wear what you were originally planning to wear. Just tell them that you didn''t have time to brave the last minute holiday shoppers, and had already selected an outfit for the picture. I''m sure that it will be tasteful & lovely, and according to Coco Chanel, black & white goes with everything, so it''s not like you''re going to be wearing a color that will clash with everyone else.

It sounds like your in-laws are trying to be controlling, but they can only control you guys if you let them. I wouldn''t waste any more time on thinking about this or worrying about it - just do what you were originally going to do, and if MIL tries to make a big deal about it, then she''s the one who''s going to come off as a control freak with issues.

Don''t you just love the holidays?

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 12/19/2008 10:25:27 AM
Author: vespergirl
I would just wear what you were originally planning to wear. Just tell them that you didn''t have time to brave the last minute holiday shoppers, and had already selected an outfit for the picture. I''m sure that it will be tasteful & lovely, and according to Coco Chanel, black & white goes with everything, so it''s not like you''re going to be wearing a color that will clash with everyone else.

It sounds like your in-laws are trying to be controlling, but they can only control you guys if you let them. I wouldn''t waste any more time on thinking about this or worrying about it - just do what you were originally going to do, and if MIL tries to make a big deal about it, then she''s the one who''s going to come off as a control freak with issues.

Don''t you just love the holidays?

Ditto.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Thank you Vesper, and Lorelei...I think I will just wear what I have already planned for...even if I am over dressed by the standards of khaki pants...

I wish I was as confident as you all seem to be...I just hate the feeling of walking into something under prepared or over dressed...and my MIL makes me feel that way a fair amount.

 

[joflier]

Date: 12/19/2008 10:28:56 AM
Author: Lorelei

Date: 12/19/2008 10:25:27 AM
Author: vespergirl
I would just wear what you were originally planning to wear. Just tell them that you didn''t have time to brave the last minute holiday shoppers, and had already selected an outfit for the picture. I''m sure that it will be tasteful & lovely, and according to Coco Chanel, black & white goes with everything, so it''s not like you''re going to be wearing a color that will clash with everyone else.

It sounds like your in-laws are trying to be controlling, but they can only control you guys if you let them. I wouldn''t waste any more time on thinking about this or worrying about it - just do what you were originally going to do, and if MIL tries to make a big deal about it, then she''s the one who''s going to come off as a control freak with issues.

Don''t you just love the holidays?

Ditto.

Thritto

Christmas cheer = stress

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 12/19/2008 10:34:14 AM
Author: Italiahaircolor
Thank you Vesper, and Lorelei...I think I will just wear what I have already planned for...even if I am over dressed by the standards of khaki pants...

I wish I was as confident as you all seem to be...I just hate the feeling of walking into something under prepared or over dressed...and my MIL makes me feel that way a fair amount.

I understand. But for whatever my opinion is worth, it seems this lady has control issues and really there is no pleasing her. If I were in your situation, I would wear what you had originally planned and prove to her that you will not be beholden to her everchanging whims. Do your best to put a stop to it now or she will continue to make your life a misery, especially if there are ever children involved.

Hugs!

 

[EricaR]

(((italia)))

What a pain in the tush families can be. We have a bit of that going on with my FI''s family too. His oldest sister is more than 20 years older than he is, so she gets treated like an adult while the rest of us are still kids. We just roll our eyes at it and try not to let it bother us.

 

[Skippy123]

Hugs!!!

 

[Steel]

I am sorry you feel upset.

I agree with the other posters; wear what you had chosen weeks ago.

 

[swingirl]

I have a different opinion. It seems like a lot of drama over an outfit. I gather the FIL and MIL are in charge of the photography and have made all the arrangements. They get to call the shots and no matter how old you are, you still have been with the family the least amount of time--least seniority, youngest kid.

So you can fight this thing and wear what you want and stand out in the photo as the one''s who were disagreeable OR you can give MIL a call and say, "Spell out to a T what you want us to wear since the first outfit you approved got nixed." Then politely tell her with such short notice you''ll do your best.

Bottom line -- going with the flow (in situations where the outcome doesn''t matter) is less stressful than fighting a losing battle. These people are who they are and you have a whole lifetime ahead of you to deal with them. You don''t want to battle over something like outfits.

 

[AmberGretchen]

Ditto Vesper and Lorelei.

And I think that the confidence will come in time - what you said is true - you and your DH have made a wonderful life together and are caring, responsible, educated adults. As such, you can still be respectful whilst maintaining boundaries. It doesn''t matter if your MIL or anyone else thinks you are overdressed - as long as you are appropriate and well-groomed (which I have no doubt whatsoever that you will be), it doesn''t matter.

I''ve had some similar issues with my MIL, so I feel for you. But ever since DH and I both realized that she was never going to fully understand or agree with our (and especially my) choices, we''ve been a lot happier. Did I stand out at Thanksgiving last year in a cute, casual but tailored wool sheath dress and tights and riding boots compared to the relatives in X-Mas sweaters and elastic-waist cords? Sure I did. But that is my style, and that is their style, and neither of us should have to change it to be around the other (within reason and good taste of course - obviously I wouldn''t show up in a ballgown or something else similarly inappropriate

).

You just keep remembering who you are and what got you to where you are today - you are a successful, educated and accomplished woman and you have every right to walk confidently into that photo wearing the sweater dress you picked out.

 

[Haven]

Date: 12/19/2008 1:00:07 PM
Author: swingirl
I have a different opinion. It seems like a lot of drama over an outfit. I gather the FIL and MIL are in charge of the photography and have made all the arrangements. They get to call the shots and no matter how old you are, you still have been with the family the least amount of time--least seniority, youngest kid.


So you can fight this thing and wear what you want and stand out in the photo as the one''s who were disagreeable OR you can give MIL a call and say, ''Spell out to a T what you want us to wear since the first outfit you approved got nixed.'' Then politely tell her with such short notice you''ll do your best.


Bottom line -- going with the flow (in situations where the outcome doesn''t matter) is less stressful than fighting a losing battle. These people are who they are and you have a whole lifetime ahead of you to deal with them. You don''t want to battle over something like outfits.

I agree with swingirl. It''s not that I think your MIL is right to do this to you, but perhaps it would be best in the future to just ask your MIL what her expectations are instead of telling your FIL what you plan to do. It sounds like the MIL is the one in charge, so maybe the FIL shouldn''t have said okay to your outfits in the first place, and if you find yourself in a similar situation in the future, I''d talk with the MIL only.

While I agree that you are adults and your MIL is being incredibly difficult, if it were me, I''d just want to keep stressors like this out of my life. That''s not to say I''m a people-pleaser and I''d just do what was told, it means I would choose my battles wisely, and an outfit just isn''t worth all of this stress.

I''m sorry, Italia. I''ll never have a MIL because DH''s mom died shortly before we met, but I do have an extremely difficult FIL and it took me quite a while to learn how to keep him from causing me anxiety and stress. I know it''s hard, but once you learn to manage difficult people, it makes life much lovelier.

 

[elrohwen]

I don''t have any advice, but I''m so sorry your in-laws are so difficult

All of the things you''ve posted lately make me feel so bad that you have to deal with such thoughtless people. I hope your DH is able to stand up for you, though I definitely understand his people pleaser personality that makes it so hard for him to stand up to his parents.

 

[vespergirl]

Hey there, all of my aunts work in the fashion industry, and they always tell me that it''s better to be overdressed than underdressed, so you should be fine. You can never go wrong in a little black dress, for any occasion.

I do see the point that swingirl made, and sometimes it is worth it to just go with the flow to avoid conflict, so maybe if you have the outfit on hand that they want you to wear, you could do that, but I totally wouldn''t run out to go shopping Xmas week to spend more money on new clothes you''re going to wear once just because they all changed their minds.

The other thing is, though, that I have a real problem with control freaks (in my family, it''s my mom that''s the total control freak, she drives me nuts, and my poor husband ...) So, with my mom, I just do what I want when I think she''s being unreasonable, and let her deal with her own crazy issues. I see the way that she treats other people who follow her instructions to keep the peace (my dad) and she just keeps walking all over him, because he lets her. After years of just ignoring her ridiculous demands, she is finally starting to mellow out, and she knows that she can''t control me, so she doesn''t even try any more. It got bad again for a little while when I had my first kid 2 years ago, so I had to nip her bossiness in the bud, and now things are much better. With people like that, you just have to take a firm stand, and not waver. I love her and all, but she literally orders people around non-stop, and it''s unbearable unless I just tell her to cut it out.

I do sympathize with your situation, though, because it''s different if it''s your own parents or your in-laws. Generally, it''s better to let your husband deal with any confrontations with the in-laws. Good luck!

 

[vespergirl]

Date: 12/19/2008 1:13:45 PM
Author: AmberGretchen
Ditto Vesper and Lorelei.

And I think that the confidence will come in time - what you said is true - you and your DH have made a wonderful life together and are caring, responsible, educated adults. As such, you can still be respectful whilst maintaining boundaries. It doesn''t matter if your MIL or anyone else thinks you are overdressed - as long as you are appropriate and well-groomed (which I have no doubt whatsoever that you will be), it doesn''t matter.

I''ve had some similar issues with my MIL, so I feel for you. But ever since DH and I both realized that she was never going to fully understand or agree with our (and especially my) choices, we''ve been a lot happier. Did I stand out at Thanksgiving last year in a cute, casual but tailored wool sheath dress and tights and riding boots compared to the relatives in X-Mas sweaters and elastic-waist cords? Sure I did. But that is my style, and that is their style, and neither of us should have to change it to be around the other (within reason and good taste of course - obviously I wouldn''t show up in a ballgown or something else similarly inappropriate

).

You just keep remembering who you are and what got you to where you are today - you are a successful, educated and accomplished woman and you have every right to walk confidently into that photo wearing the sweater dress you picked out.

I don''t know why, but that cracked me up. I am not a fan of Xmas sweaters

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Thank you Lorelie, Skippy, and EricaR...I so appreciate your kindness...I''m just so depressed and sad and thinking about it makes tear up badly....I''m feeling *nervous* about going, like serious anxiety about this trip...I have a knot in my stomache over the whole darn thing...

I''ve felt like the blacksheep in that family since the very beginning, which is no secret...and its been a constant battlewith myself between what I willingly put up with, and what I know I don''t deserve. I''m not a weak person, really, anyone else would NOT get away with treating me like this over and over. Anyone else, and I would remove that person from my life--period. I was just sitting here honestly trying to think about the number of warm moments I''ve had with my MIL througout our relationship and I can honestly think of only one. Thats sad...really, really sad. I have a million bad memories...I could tell you from the very start every single time shes cut me down...but when it comes to a nice moment shared between us, I''m at a complete loss.

 

[Haven]

Date: 12/19/2008 1:42:27 PM
Author: vespergirl
Hey there, all of my aunts work in the fashion industry, and they always tell me that it''s better to be overdressed than underdressed, so you should be fine. You can never go wrong in a little black dress, for any occasion.

Your aunts are absolutely correct, vesper. I''m a bit of a clotheshorse, and I typically dress up more than down. I''m never uncomfortable overdressed, but underdressed is a different story.

And I do hear what you''re saying about being walked all over by control freaks if you constantly bend to their will. I think the key is to a walk the line between being controlled vs. refusing to allow another person''s issues affect your mood. Italia''s MIL has been vexing her for so long, I hope she can figure out how to disallow her from affecting her mood in the future. I know it''s not easy.

 

[laurel25]

Date: 12/19/2008 1:48:01 PM
Author: Italiahaircolor
Thank you Lorelie, Skippy, and EricaR...I so appreciate your kindness...I''m just so depressed and sad and thinking about it makes tear up badly....I''m feeling *nervous* about going, like serious anxiety about this trip...I have a knot in my stomache over the whole darn thing...

I''ve felt like the blacksheep in that family since the very beginning, which is no secret...and its been a constant battlewith myself between what I willingly put up with, and what I know I don''t deserve. I''m not a weak person, really, anyone else would NOT get away with treating me like this over and over. Anyone else, and I would remove that person from my life--period. I was just sitting here honestly trying to think about the number of warm moments I''ve had with my MIL througout our relationship and I can honestly think of only one. Thats sad...really, really sad. I have a million bad memories...I could tell you from the very start every single time shes cut me down...but when it comes to a nice moment shared between us, I''m at a complete loss.

Oh man, I really feel for you because that''s exactly how I always felt with my ex-MIL. I never felt like I fit in to their family, even though my ex loved me dearly, and his mother seemed like she was always trying to make snide comments at my expense. She was so nasty at times that at my ex-SIL''s wedding one of the bridesmaids locked her out of the room where ex-SIL was getting ready. Anyway, I never figured out exactly how to deal with all the stress that this caused me other than to just try to ignore her. But it did hurt - a LOT - to always feel like nothing I did was right or good enough or whatever. I think that swingirl had a good point about just going with the flow - otherwise your MIL will just have more ammunition to use against you, which will cause you more stress in the long run.

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 12/19/2008 1:48:01 PM
Author: Italiahaircolor
Thank you Lorelie, Skippy, and EricaR...I so appreciate your kindness...I''m just so depressed and sad and thinking about it makes tear up badly....I''m feeling *nervous* about going, like serious anxiety about this trip...I have a knot in my stomache over the whole darn thing...

I''ve felt like the blacksheep in that family since the very beginning, which is no secret...and its been a constant battlewith myself between what I willingly put up with, and what I know I don''t deserve. I''m not a weak person, really, anyone else would NOT get away with treating me like this over and over. Anyone else, and I would remove that person from my life--period. I was just sitting here honestly trying to think about the number of warm moments I''ve had with my MIL througout our relationship and I can honestly think of only one. Thats sad...really, really sad. I have a million bad memories...I could tell you from the very start every single time shes cut me down...but when it comes to a nice moment shared between us, I''m at a complete loss.

You are welcome Italia. I so feel for you as I can tell how much anguish your MIL can cause.

 

[honey22]

Ditto Lorelei - it''s crazy to expect you to both run out the week before Christmas and get new outfits. If the colours clash, then a good photog should be able to photoshop you into different colours and voila - family war averted. Good luck!

 

[VRBeauty]

Date: 12/19/2008 1:00:07 PM
Author: swingirl
I have a different opinion. It seems like a lot of drama over an outfit. I gather the FIL and MIL are in charge of the photography and have made all the arrangements. They get to call the shots and no matter how old you are, you still have been with the family the least amount of time--least seniority, youngest kid.

So you can fight this thing and wear what you want and stand out in the photo as the one's who were disagreeable OR you can give MIL a call and say, 'Spell out to a T what you want us to wear since the first outfit you approved got nixed.' Then politely tell her with such short notice you'll do your best.

Bottom line -- going with the flow (in situations where the outcome doesn't matter) is less stressful than fighting a losing battle. These people are who they are and you have a whole lifetime ahead of you to deal with them. You don't want to battle over something like outfits.

Italia: I really feel for you on the control and respect issues, but in this specific situation I agree with Swinggirl. The way this happened is not fair, but since it sounds like your in-laws are apparently paying for the session, they do have the right determine the overall look they want for the photo, as long as they're not asking for anything extreme. (I say that in part as one who has organized family photo shoots in the past.) So I'd go with their decision and find whatever you already have in your wardrobes that best fits the bill. I'm sure you'll look terrific no matter what!

But I also think you need to start addressing some of the other things that are bothering you about this relationship -- such as their referring to you as "kids," -- since your husband apparently can't do so. If you haven't already done so, you might say something about it (gently) when you're alone with your MIL, or at least when the brother and his wife aren't there, so she knows that it bothers you. Your DH's people-pleasing has probably contributed to your in-laws' behavior towards the two of you. Your in-laws need to know that when it comes to your family, the whole is greater than the parts.

(ETA: HI Swingirl!

)

 

[movie zombie]

if you haven''t read this yet, please do: http://www.amazon.com/Toxic-Laws-Strategies-Protecting-Marriage/dp/0060507853/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1229734617&sr=1-4

and then this one for your hubby: http://www.amazon.com/Toxic-Parents-Overcoming-Hurtful-Reclaiming/dp/0553381407/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1229734617&sr=1-2

i cannot recommend them enough.

i''m sorry you''re going through this. wear what you were planning to wear. if that''s an issue for them, then offer that the two of you will not be participating in the photoshoot. until you make it clear for you yourself where the line in the sand is re enough is enough, you will always be feeling hurt and angry....and this will bleed into your relationship with your husband. it is important that he also understand his part in the script and understand how his inaction and people pleasing can effect your marriage. i wish you both luck in deciding how to participate as a couple with his toxic parents.

movie zombie

ps my husband and i found both books to be very useful in our relationship with his parents.

 

[coatimundi_org]

hugs Italia!

Ditto the posters who say wear what you were planning to wear.

Sorry you have to deal with a difficult MIL.

 

[crystalheart1]

I am so sorry you have to deal with this , right around the holidays.. I feel for you. I have some of my own MIL issues... the kind that says one thing to your face, and talks about you behind your back

I would just say that you will try your best with an outfit, and then wear what you plan. It really sounds lovely.

You are a beautiful women, maybe your MIL is a bit intimated by you ??

Big hugs

 

[AmberGretchen]

Date: 12/19/2008 1:45:03 PM
Author: vespergirl

Date: 12/19/2008 1:13:45 PM

Author: AmberGretchen

Ditto Vesper and Lorelei.


And I think that the confidence will come in time - what you said is true - you and your DH have made a wonderful life together and are caring, responsible, educated adults. As such, you can still be respectful whilst maintaining boundaries. It doesn''t matter if your MIL or anyone else thinks you are overdressed - as long as you are appropriate and well-groomed (which I have no doubt whatsoever that you will be), it doesn''t matter.


I''ve had some similar issues with my MIL, so I feel for you. But ever since DH and I both realized that she was never going to fully understand or agree with our (and especially my) choices, we''ve been a lot happier. Did I stand out at Thanksgiving last year in a cute, casual but tailored wool sheath dress and tights and riding boots compared to the relatives in X-Mas sweaters and elastic-waist cords? Sure I did. But that is my style, and that is their style, and neither of us should have to change it to be around the other (within reason and good taste of course - obviously I wouldn''t show up in a ballgown or something else similarly inappropriate

).


You just keep remembering who you are and what got you to where you are today - you are a successful, educated and accomplished woman and you have every right to walk confidently into that photo wearing the sweater dress you picked out.

I don''t know why, but that cracked me up. I am not a fan of Xmas sweaters

Hehe Vesper - believe me, DH and I have occasionally gotten the giggles about some of the more outrageously tacky X-Mas stuff - we always feel a bit bad, but we kind of can''t help ourselves

 

[Elmorton]

I agree with the other posters in that the outfit isn''t really the big issue here - it''s that you feel like your MIL is treating you and your DH like children.

Is it possible for you to bring this up with not only MIL, but with SIL also? I don''t know if it would open a whole can of worms, but maybe SIL could be an advocate on your side. She obviously has a different relationship with your inlaws, but she may be a little more detached than your MIL so she can see how this really hurts you. I think going in from the perspective of "I know you both have a close relationship, and I would love to have share the adult friendship you have" or something like that.

But...remembering this is the lady who sent you the crazy "praying for you" e-mail, who knows...it may be best to just suck it, grin and bear it, and enjoy the time you have with your family even more

 

[violet3]

Date: 12/19/2008 10:50:06 AM
Author: Lorelei

Date: 12/19/2008 10:34:14 AM
Author: Italiahaircolor
Thank you Vesper, and Lorelei...I think I will just wear what I have already planned for...even if I am over dressed by the standards of khaki pants...

I wish I was as confident as you all seem to be...I just hate the feeling of walking into something under prepared or over dressed...and my MIL makes me feel that way a fair amount.

I understand. But for whatever my opinion is worth, it seems this lady has control issues and really there is no pleasing her. If I were in your situation, I would wear what you had originally planned and prove to her that you will not be beholden to her everchanging whims. Do your best to put a stop to it now or she will continue to make your life a misery, especially if there are ever children involved.

Hugs!

I completely agree with the above statement - at some point you''ve got to stand up for yourself. You can do this and still have respect for your elders, while also maintaining and requiring some repsect for you in return.

holidays just drive me nuts too - hugs.

 

[that_someone_special]

Anyone that gets that weird over a family photo needs to re-evaluate their lives (MIL, not You).

I mean, it''s a PICTURE! You''re not solving AIDS, or CANCER.. and, not to mention it''s not like you''re the president or anything and the picture will be circulated... blah. Your MIL needs to get a grip and start respecting you.

 

[LaraOnline]

I guess if she''s organising the photo shoot and everyone else will be matchy matchy, you''ll kinda stick out like sore thumbs if you wear something different. Perhaps you can call her and tell her you can''t find anything khaki to wear, and that if it''s really important to her, she''ll have to find you something, cause it''s the last minute. She can brave the crowds! Revenge might be a little sweet, perhaps! Cheeky ey!

 

[Italiahaircolor]

haven, Laurel, lorelie, honey 22, VRbeauty, movie zombie, coatimundi, crystal heart, Ambergretchen, Elmorton, Violet3, Swedishbean, and Lara...thank you all so much for taking time to weigh in on my issue...it means a lot. Although I must admit, this weekend I was sitting around feeling pretty stupid and foolish for overreacting about a dumb family photo. I mean, there are people on this site with real problems and I keep going on and on and on about my MIL and these little issues that occasionally pop up. So, thank you for baring with me...I feel silly, but your understanding, suggestions, and support do make me feel better.

However, I do have an interesting update...

Saturday I started to feel nothing short of "foolish" over the way I was behaving when it comes to this family photo. I stepped outside of my "box" for a moment and was able to see how I was being this stick in the mud, and although the relationship with my MIL needs work (clearly) I was picking a very inappropriate time to put my foot down--since being told what to wear is really the least of our problems...

But, Saturday night, my frusteration reared its ugly head once again when my DH was put in the middle between my MIL and I (once again!!!).

My DH called me Saturday night from the ice rink to tell me an e-mail had just come through from his Mother about the picture. He warned me to "just delete" the e-mail because he was planning on handling this, as it had gone on long enough. I, of course, opened my e-mail and found that reading it was not an option for me since my MIL hadn''t sent it to me at all...

Apparently, my MIL had e-mail only my SIL, BIL and my DH once again about the stupid outfits...saying the "photographer" was worried about our color choices...and that "as a family" they need to come together and make these outfits go together. Totally excluding me. Nice, real nice.

I told my DH to forget it (IRL, I used a few choice words), that I didn''t want to be in the effing picture anyway...that I figured we''d all look like the cover of "Step Brothers" and it was absurd to begin with. We''re all adults, not children, and we don''t need "family photos" of 6 adults. My DH actually agreed with me...and called his mother and told her as much. He shared with her that we would be wearing what we wanted and had previously selected...and that if she didn''t like it (or valued this joke of a photographers) then we''d skip the whole thing.

I''ve never heard him speak that way to her before...and it was turn on (LMAO...just kidding, kind of). She gave in...and now we have the "all clear" to wear what we want...

Maybe we''ll turn the page now...who knows.