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I have the ring but am thinking of proposing without it - Please Help!!

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kanedale2

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The story

-- Ring CHECK! (Antique tacori-type style with trapezoidal and princess channel set diamonds)
-- Stone CHECK (2.18ct AGS 000 round)
-- Girl CHECK (she''s perfect)
-- Custom Ring Box CHECK (Thanks ebay :)
-- Proposal CHECK (Beach proposal followed by penthouse suite with private chef cooking us dinner which we eat on our balcony, champagne, rosepetals, etc...)
- Location of Proposal CHECK (Beach Resort in Mexico)
-- Insurance CHECK (Jewelrs Mutual)

So here I am completely all set, when I read a post about security concerns on a cancun proposal and it dawns on me.... What do I do with the ring while I am in Mexico? It''s not really safe to have it there before I propose. It''s not safe for her to wear after I propose. Technically the thing probably has to be declared with customs. There is the issue of getting it through the airport metal detector, but I am not worried about that. The proposal will be a complete surprise since we are staying at a crappy hotel surfing for a week before I drop the question and we move to the 5 star resort (the Mexico trip is an engagement trip under the guise of a surf vacation).

Arraaggghhh.... I feel like a ginormous wrench just got tossed into my perfect plan... Please help! I can''t really hind the ring in my bathing suit and flip flops and even if I did some big wave would probably steal my suit and I would have to walk naked on the beach while my ring gets sucked out to sea...

Has anyone ever given a box to a random hotel and asked them to safely keep the ring during your pre-proposal surfing boondoggle? There is zero opportunity to propose before we leave due to business travel and the date that the ring will be finished and I need to propose on this trip since we are departing for a huge (once every 3 years) family gathering on my side 2 days after we return and it is imperitive that my family meets my fiance, not my girlfriend.

I think proposing in Mexico without the ring is really tacky since the ring would be at home sitting in my apartment... And proposing the day or day after we get back (a random Tuesday or Wednesday would really be crappy since we will both be working late trying to catch up before we leave for the family trip...) Any thoughts or help??? Am I missing some solution? Is my only solution to bring the ring to Mexico and either hide it somewhere in my bag or stash it in the hotel safe??

Sorry for the novel, I am freaking out now....
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Cheeers,

Dale
 

laurel25

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I don''t have any advice for you about the whole proposal thing other than maybe you could propose with really good picture of it and after she says yes, explain the whole situation??? Or maybe you could get a neat place holder ring (scattered diamond band or something like that that she could eventually use as a "travel" ring to wear when she doesn''t want to wear her engagement ring - like on other trips to Mexico for example) and propose with that?

Other than that, wow, you had ME stressed out by the end of reading your post
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, so take a deep breath, think positive thoughts, and remember things will work out! ~
 

sparxs111

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Well Dale, if you don''t want to bring it, you could spend a SMALL amount on a replacement ring that you would be comfortable travelling with. And bring along a picture of the real one...?? I know we''re leaving the Ering at home on our honeymoon and just bringing the wedding band.
 

mercoledi

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Could you maybe keep it in the safe of the luxury hotel? Are the hotels close enough that you could run it over there when you arrive in Mexico? You have it insured, so any theft/loss will be covered, but I understand your concern. If the luxury hotel is a large, reputable one, I would call their concierge and see what options you have.

The ring and girl sound lovely, good luck pulling it off!
 

Rhea

Ideal_Rock
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Propose with a travel band or maybe even an eternity ring. She''ll understand not wanting it lost or stolen I would think.
 

MonkeyPie

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Date: 8/20/2008 5:02:47 PM
Author: Addy
Propose with a travel band or maybe even an eternity ring. She''ll understand not wanting it lost or stolen I would think.
Ditto.

I wouldn''t let the hotel keep it - I have heard lots of horror stories about hotels being mysteriously "robbed" when they knew they had a really expensive ring in their hands. Don''t do this. Get a cheap little band and a picture of the real ring, and explain it to her. She''ll be dying to get home to see it, but she won''t be in tears that someone stole it!
 

tberube

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Well, you have insurance, so I wouldn't change your plans just because of that. It's insured so if anything happens, it can be replaced. I dunno, just me.
 

Adylon

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I know you really don''t want to lose the ring. But if it''s insured why are you so worried? That''s what insurance is for. It''s not like the diamond was discovered by your great great grandfather or something. It''s just a Tacori ring (that can be remade) and a 2ct AGS000 diamond (which can be re-sourced). Sure it would be a big hassle, but why let it worry you and destroy all your planning? Insurance makes our lives worry free.

If it were me, I''d probably just bring an extra pair of shoes or something and stuff it in one of those and not wear it. No one will bother it as it sits there. Not your girlfriend, not the cleaning maid, etc. I travel with jewelry all the time, and I put it in the most unlikely places if a safe is not available, no one ever bothers it, and if they did, it''s insured so I don''t worry.

Or like someone else suggested, propose with a fake ring, and show her a picture of her Tacori ring waiting for her at home, if she''s able to see it, and wear something, that might be enough to do the trick. Good luck and have fun :)
 

Adylon

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Another idea --- why don''t you contact the nice hotel,and ask them to hold some luggage for you prior to your arrival. Most will do this free of charge. Give them some bag full of clothes (her clothes, some nice formal attire since she thinks this is just some surfing trip) and pack the ring in there discreetly. They''ll have no idea it''s inside, and it will be safe since it''s insured.
 

kanedale2

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Can anyone else chime in on leaving rings at the hotel? It seems it is risky, but probably less so than keeping it in our room while we surf...

I don''t want to propose without the main engagement ring.
 

Bliss

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Congrats!

OK... FI was in a similar situation when he first proposed and it was in Hawaii. He hid it in his luggage and then locked it in the hotel safe (the one in the room) until he proposed to me. Can you do that? Our ring was insured but like you, he was really nervous. I don''t think it''s the value per se, but rather that the sentimental symbol could be lost. So I understand!

If you''re on a resort, I don''t think it would be dangerous. And she can turn her ring around when you go off site, right? At the very worst, you could keep it in the hotel safe when you go off the resort. I would be sad if FI proposed to me and I didn''t have the actual ring experience. It''s kind of like the cherry on the sundae! The gasp, the question...being in a daze as you say YES and he slips the ring on your finger. Then still being in a daze... finally having the presence of mind to look down at the ring... and then going back into a happy daze again.
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Can you call the hotel and do some research about whether or not it would be that unsafe? So excited for you!
 

NeverEndingUpgrade

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Maybe you are worrying about it too much? Why would you have to declare it with customs when you go in? I thought that was for if you purchase new things that you are taking back into the country. IMO, I think that if you don''t want to leave it at home, carry it on with you in a ring box inside another box. Security is not concerned with your jewelry, just if you are carrying potential explosives. And definitely don''t put it in your checked baggage while flying. Keep it with you while flying. I can''t remember why you thought it wasn''t safe for her to wear after you propose. Try asking her to not wear it after you propose. Yeah, right. LOL!

Take a good luggage lock with you and when she is not wearing the ring (while surfing, etc.), keep it in a LOCKED suitcase. I can''t really see hotel staff messing with locked luggage. I''m sure they see that everyday. Otherwise, if you think you can trust the front desk to put it in their safe, do that. I do remember that my husband and I wore simple 2mm gold bands on our honeymoon so we wouldn''t have to worry about our diamond bands, but really there would have been no worries if we had worn our fancier bands. But your situation is unique because you are proposing.

Hope you figure everything out and congratulations!
 

blondebunny

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have u thought about maybe having it mailed to the nicer hotel?? Maybe a friend back home could mail it for you, and you could insure the package and stuff and then ur insurance wouldnt really in it.I mean I always hear how mailing it is safer than u bringing it wherever because you can insure it for its value... I think that would be a good idea, have it mail it a couple days before, or do express mail or something, and inform the hotel you will be receiving a package and to keep it safe until you pick it up that day u get to the nice hotel...goodluck!
 

stone_seeker

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dude..you''re worried too much. if your hotel has a safe then thats the answer. if not, then hide it in some rolled up socks or underwear and keep it in a shoe or in your luggage (lock the luggage) in your room. the odds of it being stolen are very small since no one will be suspecting you are hiding valuables in your laundry since you''re at a crappy hotel. and if it were stolen, u are covered financially. bring a picture of it just in case that happens so you have something to show her when u propose.

peace
 

Richard Sherwood

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With my experience regarding Mexico (which is considerable), my advice would be this:

Don't let anyone know what you have, or ask them to keep it in a safe or safe-keeping. It's not like Hawaii, or Europe. Thievery in Mexico is mind boggling. Even the police are corrupt. Most Americans can't even imagine the extent of it.

You're much safer keeping the ring in some of the places mentioned by posters above than in a hotel safe. Stuffing it in a shoe, etc, you'll probably be fine. The key is to remain anonymous, unseen, low-key, out-of-sight. Then let insurance be your backup.

I don't think you have to worry about customs in or out, either. Just carry it in in your pocket, and have her wear it out. No declaration is necessary.
 

Cleo

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I would do just as the other guys have said & hide the ring inside a shoe (under the insole if you can).

Personally I like to hide my valuables in amonst my dirty laundry whilst on holiday (heheh). If you really want a laugh to yourself you could always invest in one of these...linkywoo.
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Make sure you''re covered by your insurance, and your new FI can always turn her ring round if you are out & about in any less salubrious areas.

x x x
 

Lynn B

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Date: 8/20/2008 7:59:00 PM
Author: Richard Sherwood
With my experience regarding Mexico (which is considerable), my advice would be this:

Don''t let anyone know what you have, or ask them to keep it in a safe or safe-keeping. It''s not like Hawaii, or Europe. Thievery in Mexico is mind boggling. Even the police are corrupt. Most Americans can''t even imagine the extent of it.

You''re much safer keeping the ring in some of the places mentioned by posters above than in a hotel safe. Stuffing it in a shoe, etc, you''ll probably be fine. The key is to remain anonymous, unseen, low-key, out-of-sight. Then let insurance be your backup.
Definitely agree with Rich. (But then, I usually do. Or, hmmm, maybe it''s the other way around... ???!
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But I digress... )

I think you''ll be fine. Just be careful and insured!
 

Lynn B

Ideal_Rock
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Date: 8/20/2008 8:04:34 PM
Author: Cleo
I would do just as the other guys have said & hide the ring inside a shoe (under the insole if you can).

Personally I like to hide my valuables in amonst my dirty laundry whilst on holiday (heheh). If you really want a laugh to yourself you could always invest in one of these...linkywoo.
11.gif
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Make sure you''re covered by your insurance, and your new FI can always turn her ring round if you are out & about in any less salubrious areas.

x x x
OHMYWORD! CLEO!!! That link is hysterical!!!
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ROFLMHO!!!
 

kanedale2

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Jul 25, 2008
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Thanks for all the replies... I''ll let you how it went when I get back :)

Cheers,

Dale
 

marchswallowbird

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Apr 22, 2008
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I would buy a pretty, inexpensive CZ solitaire, propose with that, and tell her the real ring is waiting for her at home, and tell her why you chose not to bring it to Mexico. Really, it''s not the ring that''s important to her, it''s YOU! It won''t "ruin" your proposal. I didn''t get my ring until 2 months after my proposal.
 

Adylon

Shiny_Rock
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Nov 14, 2006
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232
Yes just like Richard says, low key is the way to go.

I remember when I first started walking around the downtown jewelry district in Toronto and New York before moving to Los Angeles a long while back when I would make trips often.. I got myself a real nice solid steel briefcase, with a chain going from the case around my wrist, and I even got a handheld taser. I was somewhat paranoid to say the least, and my family (in the trade) also made fun of me. But after only using that case for 5-6 months I was nearly robbed. Three drunk/homeless guys tried to grab that case from me one day, the funny thing was it was empty and I was going somewhere to buy goods and fill it up, but for all they knew I was transporting the Queen''s crown jewels.... luckily they were drunk so I was able to beat them down with my steel briefcase, haha. But now I just walk the jewelry districts in jeans and a t-shirt and stuff the jewelry in my pockets or have a small case I strap to my chest underneath my shirt, and I''ve never been bothered since. Perception and keeping a low key plus insurance is really the most security you could ever need.

So if I were you just make sure NO ONE in either hotel knows what you have, keep it hidden and you''ll be fine.
 

honey22

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This could be a stoopid suggestion (let''s blame it on the anasthetic I had yesterday if so
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), but can you get a safe deposit box from the bank as soon as you get to Mexico? We have them here in Australia maybe they have them there too? You would onbviously have to prearrange this with the bank (maybe your bank has a branch in Mexico), then you can slip out of the hotel run down to the bank and pick up the ring and shut the safe deposit box?

Stoopid?
 

NeverEndingUpgrade

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The dirty underwear security thing is the funniest thing I have seen in a long time! Thanks for posting.
 

kanedale2

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I actually bought a fragile glass globe last time I was on beach holiday and used a combination of boxers and running shorts as padding to cushion it inside the cooler I used as my carryon. Needless to say, the wierd round thing looked strange to the X-ray guy who had the unfortuate experience of pulling the clothing items out one by one with a pen. If anyone has ever smelled running shorts after a 20mile jog, you know I just made this guys day....

On the shoe thing, I hid $40 US under the sole of each shoe in tiny little ziplock bags when I was on a month long South American Vacation. The problem was after wearing those shoes for a month of hiking they were destroyed so I tossed them in the trash so I could take a few more souvineers home. It dawned on me on the flight home that I forgot to remove the $80 cash from the shoes.... I can only hope some nice family grabbed the shoes and found the surprise...

Cheers,

Dale
 

LostieLovesBling

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I would not take it with me to Cancun. My DH & I vacationed with Cancun in Oct 2005. There are few places I would feel save storing/wearing a ring in Cancun. We stayed at a super swank Hilton Resort too, not a cheap place at all. A plain band (or cz eternity) would be a great "stand-in" ring and then your lady will have a ring to wear when she wants to keep her real ring at home in the future (beach, pool, rock-climbing, etc). Just my two cents.
 

dreaming of the day

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I agree with everyone that says put it away in ''dirty'' underwear or a pair of socks. I think a lot of ladies (myself included) do not want to be proposed to with anything but the real ring - its the sentimental aspect of it.
 

angeline

Ideal_Rock
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Definitely find a way to propose with the ring. Rich''s pointers combined with Cleo''s brilliant security find (OMgosh!) should do the trick.

I would be so disappointed to be proposed to and then shown a picture of the ring. I would rather wait till you could give me the ring. I would rather be proposed to after work in our apartment with a ring, than in Cancun with chef dinner etc without a ring.
 
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