How would you cope with a job . . .

[Loves Vintage]

That you have been at long term.
That you do not plan to leave - because you are tied to them financially, you get paid well, you have a lot of flexibility, the people are mostly nice (but often annoying to varying degrees).
That is often extremely boring.
But is sometimes interesting.
Where you do not receive any recognition, and are not likely to anytime soon, and that's sort of the culture of the place, so you are not the only one.
Where you will never get promoted because if you do, then other people in department will also want to get promoted, but you got a significant increase when you asked for one . . . but really only because you were being underpaid for years, and probably that was mostly due to being a woman.
And again, work is boring.
And, the people that you work with are extremely needy, all the while supplying little to no info to help you get your job done, and you also find this extremely annoying.

 

[sonnyjane]

So I'll say first that work is such a huge part of life that if you're miserable, you have to get out.

That said, are you miserable, or are you just bored? If you're well-paid, fairly well-treated, and are reasonably happy, and there are just bad days and you feel like you aren't challenged enough, that's something that I do believe can be overcome with a change in perspective and more focus on hobbies and passions outside of work. If you start getting depressed on Sunday afternoon about returning to work on Monday morning, then you can't continue on that way.

Are there any equivalent prospects at other companies doing what you're doing now?

 

[Missy]

Gosh that is a tough question Loves Vintage because it sounds like no matter what you don't want to leave. As sonnyjane points out work is such a large part of your daily life that being bored is quite a chore if you are bored at work most of the time. I enjoyed being challenged at work and it made my day enjoyable and made me feel as if I accomplished something that mattered by the end of the day. When I started feeling less joy and more stress (and while I wasn't bored I feel boredom can be just as stressful IMO as other types of stress) I left but I realize not everyone has that opportunity to just pick up and leave a job especially if it pays well and has convenient hours and allows you to do other things that you need to do.

So if there aren't other opportunities you can explore and you are stuck where you are I would suggest to take on more responsibility and challenge yourself as much as possible to give more excitement and involvement and joy to your day if you can. Ask the boss what else can you do...be a go getter and be ambitious and don't worry about recognition etc because if you do a job well enough and take more on yourself eventually people *will* notice. And if you do it for yourself it is a win win either way IMO.

Good luck.

 

[Loves Vintage]

Thanks for your feedback, sonnyjane. This is really helpful.

I would say that I do not get depressed about having to return to work on a Monday, but I am more annoyed about it, lol. I have definitely had jobs were I was crying and anxious and just wanted a way out. This is not that. This is boredom + annoyance. I do think I need a change in perspective! How do I do that? That's a genuine question! I actually thought about going back to my wonderful therapist who I've gone back to here and there for close to ten years, but I'm not quite there yet.

There are absolutely other jobs out there, BUT I am sure it would be difficult to get the same level of flexibility that I have now. I do get to work from home sometimes. This is HUGE, mostly due to the annoyance factor. But, what does that say about me as a person that I get so easily annoyed by other people.

I really try to be a positive person, but I'd say my true nature is that I just would prefer not to hear non-sense commentary. There are many many many examples of annoying things that they say to varying levels. I feel like it shouldn't bother me so much, but, uggh, this is the stuff that can sometimes bring me down and entirely change my mood, for like a day.

And, I am like 100% the nicest person. Almost everyone who knows me, until they really get to know me, haha, would say that I am the nicest person. I am nice to everyone, but I am very easily irritated!

 

[monarch64]

Oh hell no. Start making an exit plan. It doesn’t have to happen now, or next month, or next year, but you gotta get out!

What do you LOVE doing? What’s your passion? Figure out a way to make money doing it. Live (mostly) happily ever after.

 

[Loves Vintage]

Oh, this is liberating!

Missy - Great Advice! And, I have done that -- and, really the only interesting stuff that I work on is the new stuff that I have taken on. But, the old stuff has not gone away, and that is the dreadfully boring stuff, that sometimes I will have to really play games with myself to do the work! Like, make lists, so that I can check things off, and feel like I've actually accomplished something, or go into a conference room with just one document so that I can really force myself to focus.

I will add that my co-workers love me, or that's the feedback I've gotten. I'm really accommodating to people's requests and try to be fast and efficient because I know that's what people want and need. But, I guess it's harder to keep up a positive upbeatness about getting the work done since I've been doing it for so long.

 

[Loves Vintage]

Oh hell no. Start making an exit plan. It doesn’t have to happen now, or next month, or next year, but you gotta get out!

What do you LOVE doing? What’s your passion? Figure out a way to make money doing it. Live (mostly) happily ever after.

Haha! I knew you would say that!

Agggggggggg, no, you all need to tell me how to make my boring job fun!

But, it would probably be real estate. But, there is no way I could make as much money doing that as I do now, and well, money is important too, right?

 

[sonnyjane]

Thanks for your feedback, sonnyjane. This is really helpful.

I would say that I do not get depressed about having to return to work on a Monday, but I am more annoyed about it, lol. I have definitely had jobs were I was crying and anxious and just wanted a way out. This is not that. This is boredom + annoyance. I do think I need a change in perspective! How do I do that? That's a genuine question! I actually thought about going back to my wonderful therapist who I've gone back to here and there for close to ten years, but I'm not quite there yet.

There are absolutely other jobs out there, BUT I am sure it would be difficult to get the same level of flexibility that I have now. I do get to work from home sometimes. This is HUGE, mostly due to the annoyance factor. But, what does that say about me as a person that I get so easily annoyed by other people.

I really try to be a positive person, but I'd say my true nature is that I just would prefer not to hear non-sense commentary. There are many many many examples of annoying things that they say to varying levels. I feel like it shouldn't bother me so much, but, uggh, this is the stuff that can sometimes bring me down and entirely change my mood, for like a day.

And, I am like 100% the nicest person. Almost everyone who knows me, until they really get to know me, haha, would say that I am the nicest person. I am nice to everyone, but I am very easily irritated!

I find that for me, once someone/something annoys me... I cannot freaking forget about it. Everything that person does or says or every time thing happens, I have an irrational reaction to it. For that reason, I kind of put the blame on myself, because that's not normal - they are just being themselves... and there are people I work with that probably feel the same way about me.

I love therapy. I have used both therapists and life coaches in my life and found both to be helpful when it came to dealing with how I felt about specific jobs. In some cases, they convinced me to quit my job (I did have a job where I couldn't enjoy my days off because I was so upset about having to return to work after my weekend!). I've also had time where they told me "buck up, buttercup... it's called "work" for a reason". I can usually recognize when I'm genuinely unhappy vs. when I just want a day off to take a nap and be alone, but that fantasy of winning the lottery never goes away even now that I actually really like where I'm working and who I'm working with.

I wish you luck. I don't think you have to make a lot of money or have great benefits to be happy, but I also think that the people that get to do what they love 100% of the time are few and far between, and that while it's a lovely goal, it's sometimes not realistic.

 

[monarch64]

So get involved in real estate on the side, a little at a time. Start networking. Dream big! You can absolutely make great money in RE, or expand into your own business as a staging company, or appraiser, etc. Sooooo many avenues there! And talk about flexible!

Um, how to make your boring job fun? Keep a flask in your desk drawer, man. Haha. Half joking...

 

[Matata]

You can try to change the culture. If you have any leverage with the company, use it to try to make change.
If you're bored, ask for special projects; invent special projects, if possible, that will benefit your company -- maybe research employee recognition programs and then write a proposal to start one. Can you make a case for changing up your responsibilities to make the job more interesting?

You can't get promoted because others in the department will want one? Is that what your supervisor is saying because that's pure BS and it's the company's problem not yours. Do they have a succession plan? If not, research and propose one that includes criteria for promotion at least in your department.
If your company is not open to any changes or you feel that any effort on your part would be unwelcome, then you need to decide if you want to stay in it for the money and little personal satisfaction or if you want to take a risk and leave.

 

[bludiva]

sounds like we have the same job, lol. i decided i can either stay at the job, minimize the annoyances and focus my energy on things i care about outside of work or look for something else that would be more fulfilling, more demanding, and likely not pay as well due to the dynamics of the local job market. so far, i've stayed for the flexibility. but some days it doesn't feel worth it.

 

[Loves Vintage]

Ohhhh, this is helpful, Matata. What I need is a mentor like you!!! Very seriously, if you are open to that, in which case, I would need to figure out how to reach you. I have limited PS contacts in the real world, but I'm sure we could find a way. And, I do have a program in mind, and will need to do a lot of research in order to develop a proposal. For sure, it would be revolutionary in my company. And, now that we have a new boss, I have asked for and received additional responsibilities, but it becomes complicated when I manage no one, and therefore, have some difficulty pushing existing work out, so I'm just doing more, which most of the time is manageable.

As for as succession planning, that's also a no. And, YES, that is exactly what he told me. I received a substantial increase, after pleading my case for the second time, this time to a new boss, and he told me that he would not change my title, even though I am doing the work for said title, because he didn't want a whole line of people coming in asking for more $. And, he added, besides, no one within the company cares what my title is, it only matters to the outside world, which basically makes me feel like he's saying you aren't going anywhere, so why does it matter.

Meanwhile, I just saw 4 announcements today of man promotions in other departments. I will say our department is small, and there has been little movement re: titles, but I am not sure what to do about it all.

Monarch - Maybe real estate can be my 10 year plan, when I start to wind things down work-wise. I'm in mid-forties now, so I'm being optimistic there. Flask would certainly liven things up at work for me. lol

bludiva - Sorry to hear you are in the same boat. What are your annoyances? I guess we need to be thankful we are employed, right? Seriously, this morning I was thinking I need to start a gratitude journal to cope with my job. UGGH.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

Do something else casual or part time.
Refresh yourself through training/education.....go back to school--taking one course at a time.

If you don't like professionally boring, then get professionally comfortably uncomfortable.

cheers--Sharon

 

[anne_h]

One school of thought is that we each need to be responsible for our own engagement at work. If your work is boring, find new initiatives you can volunteer for or start yourself 'on the side'. For many, you shouldn't even need to ask permission, just start doing it. Or you could also start taking courses, ones that you believe will help qualify you for more senior roles in the future. I did my MBA and found that very helpful. Whatever makes sense for you.

And there's no rule that says you cannot start looking for another position internally or externally while in parallel you work on making your current situation more interesting.

BTW, in my experience, most people don't get promoted in their current role, they need to apply to an internal opening at the next job level. And yes as women, there is still some systemic patriarchy to overcome (don't get me started). IMO the smartest thing we can do is be aware of it and strategize around it. (Side note - there are always ways we can work to support other women in the workplace... eg. as a female leader I work to ensure we hire, pay, and promote women fairly in my area. I also mentor young women in business.)

Since you mention you've been bored or annoyed at jobs before, there may be something about your thought process or expectations that is causing a repeat pattern everywhere you go. If that resonates...

Anne

 

[sonnyjane]

Ohhhh, this is helpful, Matata. What I need is a mentor like you!!! Very seriously, if you are open to that, in which case, I would need to figure out how to reach you. I have limited PS contacts in the real world, but I'm sure we could find a way. And, I do have a program in mind, and will need to do a lot of research in order to develop a proposal. For sure, it would be revolutionary in my company. And, now that we have a new boss, I have asked for and received additional responsibilities, but it becomes complicated when I manage no one, and therefore, have some difficulty pushing existing work out, so I'm just doing more, which most of the time is manageable.

As for as succession planning, that's also a no. And, YES, that is exactly what he told me. I received a substantial increase, after pleading my case for the second time, this time to a new boss, and he told me that he would not change my title, even though I am doing the work for said title, because he didn't want a whole line of people coming in asking for more $. And, he added, besides, no one within the company cares what my title is, it only matters to the outside world, which basically makes me feel like he's saying you aren't going anywhere, so why does it matter.

Meanwhile, I just saw 4 announcements today of man promotions in other departments. I will say our department is small, and there has been little movement re: titles, but I am not sure what to do about it all.

Ehhhh so with THAT new bit of information, it sure sounds like you’re working in a toxic and discriminatory environment!

That changes my answer...

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

Honestly, knowing what it's like to have to work 3 jobs to pay my bills and not have to move in with my Mom, I would suck it up and do the best I could while collecting that check. Work is work, it shouldn't be your source of happiness (if it is, you're extremely lucky). I look for happiness outside of work.

 

[ksinger]

Honestly, knowing what it's like to have to work 3 jobs to pay my bills and not have to move in with my Mom, I would suck it up and do the best I could while collecting that check. Work is work, it shouldn't be your source of happiness (if it is, you're extremely lucky). I look for happiness outside of work.

There is no means of earning income that doesn't have a downside, and yes if you get to "follow your bliss" (a phrase that in its smarminess has always made me want to hurl, quite honestly) you are in that .000001% of people who work. The vast majority find out it's called work, for a reason. And I'm also of the camp that thinks too much of most Americans' identity is tied up in what they do to earn money. I want mine to be tied up in how much effort I put into being interested in everything outside of work.

I was raised by a single mom, so my observations of "working" are probably similar. I'm like you: if I had a job with good money and flexibility but a bit of boredom, I'd ride that train until it ran off the rails. That is in fact, what I did. By putting up with the slight downsides for longer than I would have if I'd had more motivation to move, I got enough satisfaction overall, was able to pay off the house early, had access to good insurance, and could buy the occasional sparkly, none of which can be sneered at.

I agree with the advice that if it's just boredom or mild annoyance, and the other factors like money, benefits, and flexibility are really good, stick around and look at leisure for something that will be exactly what you want. If you feel like you want to weep every day on your commute or feel like you want to gnaw off a limb at the prospect of Monday, then get hunting right now.

 

[whitewave]

Me-- I'd go to therapy and try to work within myself to decide what is more important to me, and if I stayed, to try and discover ways to either make it exciting (not possible?) or stop letting it get to me.

But I find I go to therapy every 4-5 years. I just finished a 5 week stint, so that is how I roll.....

 

[whitewave]

I also worked 3 jobs at one point in my life but I enjoyed my primary job, so I sucked up with the other two because I needed the money.

 

[cmd2014]

Sounds like maybe you are feeling resentful about the title issue, and it's making you feel annoyed every time you're at work. I'd personally be quite annoyed if I was doing the function of a job without being recognized for it through pay and title. I'd probably bring it up again with my boss, pointing out that I AM doing the essential job duties of Job Title X, and that I'd like to be recognized for it and compensated for it fairly. Maybe have that conversation with HR involved.

If the answer is still no, I'd probably be less inclined to do the functions of job title X. I'm not sure I'd be super open about that last point unless there were protections in place, but I might start quietly de-prioritizing the stuff that is outside of my job description and making sure not to spend extra time at work. Maybe see what else is out there. If this is the best there is, then try to focus on being grateful for that and making sure to engage in things that make me happy outside of work.

And if your boss ever asks why you are doing less, say how happy you would be to be promoted into a position where this would be under your purview, as you are more than ready for the extra responsibility in comparison to your peers.

 

[marymm]

Maybe take time off from work more regularly? I'm assuming your company has a decent leave policy and that you have or will accrue enough so that the time is paid time off, but see if you can take some amount of time off every single quarter ... a 4-day weekend here, a week long staycation there, a mid-week Wednesday off just because ... it may let you regain another perspective and/or just relieve some of the regular build-up of work-related irritations.

 

[Loves Vintage]

Thanks everyone for your replies. I will try to post more later in the coming week, but for now, I have realized that in part, it is the title, but it's also the lack of women where I work, it's feeling marginalized at least some of the time, and all of it makes me feel, for lack of a better word, humiliated at times, and like I have no real avenue to address my concerns. Like I feel like maybe I am being too petty about some things, but I can't seem to get over them, and then I am randomly getting angry, but again there's no outlet for that. There is no real HR in the true corporate sense. It's really sort of just feeling alone in a very male dominated company.

Marymm - That is a great idea, and I have done that just this past month. Just took some random days here and there, but of course, I spend a good chunk of my time off working from home anyway. Perhaps, I need a good unplug schedule too!!

Thank you again everyone for listening and for offering your advice. I always go to the same people IRL for advice, and I've realized that I do need to step out for some more diverse opinions, and so, I really do appreciate everyone's feedback here. I plan to come back at some point during the week with more specific replies to all of you.