How to get him to say yes

[buuph]

I have been dating my boyfriend for 8 months, but we have been best friends for 5 years. We are really close, and it feels like our relationship has taken that next step. I really love him and I have talked to him about it. He says time, but we have been in love with eachother for a very long time. I want so much more with him. Please help.

 

[wonka27]

I think if he needs time, you need to give it to him. This is a very big step, and if someone isn't comfortable with it after 8 months, then they deserve that time. 5-years of friendship may build a great friendship and relationship, but it still is only 8 months of dating and that could lead to doubts of marriage right away. Give it time...if it is meant to be he will be there. Enjoy the dating in the meantime. Don't force it or you could scare him away!

 

[bar01]

I agree with everything Wonka27 said ! Good Advice !

 

[moremoremore]

ELAINE: So what did he have to say?
JERRY: Nothing. I told him you two were pretty hot and heavy.
ELAINE: Hot and heavy? You said hot and heavy?
JERRY: Yeah.
ELAINE: What did you do that for?
JERRY: What?
ELAINE: What if he tells John? Then John's gonna think that I think that we're hot and heavy. I don't want John thinking that I'm hot and heavy if he's not hot and heavy.
JERRY: Oh.
ELAINE: I'm trying to get a little squirrel to come over to me here. I don't wanna make any big, sudden movements. I'll frighten him away.

 

[JimDiamond]

I agree with the previous posters. What they say *is* generally true, but it paints men as generally trying to avoid marriage and women trying to "trap" men. The squirrel analogy in the last post is very funny though. However, while it is true that women often "know" they're ready before many men it doesn't mean men don't decide that marrying their sweetheart isn't the best thing in the world for them. So I say, talk about it. Make sure he knows how you feel and try to get him to open up with his own feelings--but if he does and you don't like them, DON'T POUNCE ON HIM or get defensive or hurt or he'll never be able to be honest with you again. You can ease into the discussion, but you can be quite direct about your desire to get married. If he's not ready, you run the risk of scaring him, but you have to decide whether that is a safe discussion for YOUR relationship at THIS point in time. Of course if you scare him then he wasn't ready, but you don't want to scare him off completely. Just make sure you pick a good time to get some real feedback from him so you know how really feels. Pick a time when you've been together comfortably for a while, he feels relaxed and just start talking about how wonderful your relationship, then slip in images of the future you may have shared and just keep going from there. Good luck! Keep us posted.