How often do you say hello to someone you don't know?

[Hospatogi]

Hi,
I was watching Piers Morgan tonight and the topic of chronic loneliness and the stigma around it was discussed. Dr. Sanjay Gupta in conjunction with Oprah have launched a campaign called Just Say Hello. Research shows that people who are lonely are 45% more likely to have a shorter life span. This risk is higher than obesity, smoking, or excessive alcohol drinking. How many times have you reached out to someone in your building or neighborhood that you thought could use someone to talk to?
http://www.oprah.com/health/Just-Say-Hello-Video

 

[ame]

I say hi or smile at a LOT of people, despite being nicknamed Oscar (the grouch). I don't know if it impacts the day for them but I hope it does.

 

[Hospatogi]

I say hi or smile at a LOT of people, despite being nicknamed Oscar (the grouch). I don't know if it impacts the day for them but I hope it does.

I'm sure it does. I think sometimes we are in such a hurry that we don't take the time to make connections with other people. In fact the campaign also points out that we are more often likely to say we are sad than say the word "lonely". Perhaps there is this stigma even that successful people shouldn't feel lonely because to admit that would mean that we "don't have it all" ?

 

[movie zombie]

I say "hi/hello" to strangers all the time. I initiate small talk in lines. this is the way the world was when I was growing up. worked well then and works well for me now.

 

[ame]

I say "hi/hello" to strangers all the time. I initiate small talk in lines. this is the way the world was when I was growing up. worked well then and works well for me now.

same here. I strike up lots of little small talk.

 

[VRBeauty]

When I'm in a good mood, I do smile at people and even say "hello" to strangers. Turns out that just smiling at people can initiate a conversation, or at least a comment, from total strangers. I guess the random smile isn't all that common these days...

But I although these random encounters can lift your or brighten your day for awhile, I doubt that they really alleviate loneliness, for most people.

 

[sonnyjane]

I say "hi/hello" to strangers all the time. I initiate small talk in lines.

Same here. I work in a service industry so I find it to actually be a reflex. I wave at strangers, etc. without thinking and say "morning" in a way that probably makes them think I know them. They likely think I'm nutso lol.

 

[Hospatogi]

I say "hi/hello" to strangers all the time. I initiate small talk in lines.

Same here. I work in a service industry so I find it to actually be a reflex. I wave at strangers, etc. without thinking and say "morning" in a way that probably makes them think I know them. They likely think I'm nutso lol.

I'm sure they think you are super friendly and you probably make their day! I bet you probably get some difficult customers so it's admirable that you stay so positive.

 

[momhappy]

All the time.

 

[JewelFreak]

I live in the South. To anyone who has spent any time here, that should say enough. Everyone says hello to strangers on the street & you always wave at people in cars going by, whether you know them or not. It's a lovely warm custom.

When we visted Charleston, one morning we were walking in search of espresso, dressed in our comfortable tatty tourist duds. We stepped onto a curb as a very elegant man got out of his Jaguar -- he smiled & said, "Good morning." Now, that's the definition of a Southern gentleman -- and of the South.

I talk to everyone. Have heard the life stories of so many store clerks & home repair people! I'm always interested.

--- Laurie

P.S. I doubt the precedence of those problems in the "study." "Experts" love to prioritize things. My mother was worse than I am in friendliness -- she even got the backgrounds of telemarketers who called her! She died at 72 of cancer -- I would say that was more influential than loneliness in her early end.

 

[Rhea]

Oh gosh, never! I wouldn't, it's just not the done thing. I live in London and unless there is something people have in common, such as a tube strike, or terrible weather, speaking to strangers is not the done thing. Speaking to a stranger in public needs to have a purpose. After making the mistake of speaking out of turn a couple of times I won't be doing that again! I always feel embarrassed and out of place because the shocked reaction of people is probably similar to your reaction as you read this post if you're a hello to strangers type of person.

When I visit my family in the States I'm always shocked at first with how many people speak to people they don't know. I find it both comforting and intrusive.

 

[Dee*Jay]

Constantly! I can't get out of an elevator, finishing checking out at the grocery store, or fill my tank at the gas pump without making a new friend!

 

[dk168]

I would not necessarily say hi to a complete stranger, however, if I bump into him/her more than once, then yes, I would say hi.

DK

 

[Hospatogi]

Oh gosh, never! I wouldn't, it's just not the done thing. I live in London and unless there is something people have in common, such as a tube strike, or terrible weather, speaking to strangers is not the done thing. Speaking to a stranger in public needs to have a purpose. After making the mistake of speaking out of turn a couple of times I won't be doing that again! I always feel embarrassed and out of place because the shocked reaction of people is probably similar to your reaction as you read this post if you're a hello to strangers type of person.

When I visit my family in the States I'm always shocked at first with how many people speak to people they don't know. I find it both comforting and intrusive.

Oh wow that is really interesting. I visited London when I was very little so I honestly don't remember many of the customs. I do remember everyone we spoke to were friendly but it was mainly to ask for directions or suggestions to restaurants. I wonder if that feeds into why people in the States feel people in European are sometimes rude! It's probably just a difference of customs!
I am definitely a hello to strangers kind of person. I find talking to people and learning about their life experiences fascinating . I will remember to keep it in check when I visit my aunt in London this summer

 

[Hospatogi]

I live in the South. To anyone who has spent any time here, that should say enough. Everyone says hello to strangers on the street & you always wave at people in cars going by, whether you know them or not. It's a lovely warm custom.

When we visted Charleston, one morning we were walking in search of espresso, dressed in our comfortable tatty tourist duds. We stepped onto a curb as a very elegant man got out of his Jaguar -- he smiled & said, "Good morning." Now, that's the definition of a Southern gentleman -- and of the South.

I talk to everyone. Have heard the life stories of so many store clerks & home repair people! I'm always interested.

--- Laurie

P.S. I doubt the precedence of those problems in the "study." "Experts" love to prioritize things. My mother was worse than I am in friendliness -- she even got the backgrounds of telemarketers who called her! She died at 72 of cancer -- I would say that was more influential than loneliness in her early end.

I do have relatives living in North Carolina so I understand what you mean by southern hospitality. It's very different in the Norrh East where I am from. I would take the subway to work in Manhattan. No one makes eye contact and you could see the same person every day without acknowledging them. And to say hi and strike up a conversation now that's just inviting trouble! Luckily I lived in a small town in NJ where everyone was friendly with their neighbors so it was a jarring difference at first to me. Although it is still not the friendliness of the South.
In regards to the study it's very much of a generalization but a good way to get people to talk to each other here at least. I'm sorry about your mother I'm sure she is very much missed!

 

[VRBeauty]

Constantly! I can't get out of an elevator, finishing checking out at the grocery store, or fill my tank at the gas pump without making a new friend!

I should have mentioned that I'm ore of a one and done "hi" person than a small talk or new friend person - although I many times, people do respond to a genuine smile and a "hi". Once someone appreciated it so much that they proceeded to tell me all about their circumstances...

and I've noticed riding in elevators and even standing in line has changed a lot with the advent of smart phones and such.

 

[chrono]

Rarely; I don't make the first move unless I either know the person or I need the person's assistance. I guess I'm anti-social.

 

[tyty333]

I usually say hi to anyone who will look at me! I find men to be friendler than women.

 

[ForteKitty]

Oh gosh, never! I wouldn't, it's just not the done thing. I live in London and unless there is something people have in common, such as a tube strike, or terrible weather, speaking to strangers is not the done thing. Speaking to a stranger in public needs to have a purpose. After making the mistake of speaking out of turn a couple of times I won't be doing that again! I always feel embarrassed and out of place because the shocked reaction of people is probably similar to your reaction as you read this post if you're a hello to strangers type of person.

When I visit my family in the States I'm always shocked at first with how many people speak to people they don't know. I find it both comforting and intrusive.

How funny, because we met so many friendly people in London! Mostly in pubs and while we were shopping, but they always initiated conversations. It was during an election year for us, and once they found out we were American and from California, conversation just poured. I even made friends while waiting for the loo.

 

[Rhea]

Oh gosh, never! I wouldn't, it's just not the done thing. I live in London and unless there is something people have in common, such as a tube strike, or terrible weather, speaking to strangers is not the done thing. Speaking to a stranger in public needs to have a purpose. After making the mistake of speaking out of turn a couple of times I won't be doing that again! I always feel embarrassed and out of place because the shocked reaction of people is probably similar to your reaction as you read this post if you're a hello to strangers type of person.

When I visit my family in the States I'm always shocked at first with how many people speak to people they don't know. I find it both comforting and intrusive.

Oh wow that is really interesting. I visited London when I was very little so I honestly don't remember many of the customs. I do remember everyone we spoke to were friendly but it was mainly to ask for directions or suggestions to restaurants. I wonder if that feeds into why people in the States feel people in European are sometimes rude! It's probably just a difference of customs!
I am definitely a hello to strangers kind of person. I find talking to people and learning about their life experiences fascinating . I will remember to keep it in check when I visit my aunt in London this summer

Oh, that's fine! There's a purpose to asking directions. There is no purpose just to randomly saying hi. I get asked for directions all the time and I'm friendly and polite, I hope. But to talk just to talk, just the thought makes me cringe. When I moved here (I'm from the South of the US, see Laurie's post!) I used to compliment people on their clothing or hair if I particularly liked it and I once asked a girl where she got her really awesome cupcake holder. She was so mean and asked me why. I swear some of those people almost had me committed! So I quit.

But if you are some place and have something in common, that's fine. So closest post office? Fine. Trying to cross Tower Bridge when it opens and you're all stuck on your bicycles together on the wrong side? Super friendly! But randomly saying hi or commenting on someone's pretty dress? You'll get some very suspicious looks.

 

[Maisie]

Oh gosh, never! I wouldn't, it's just not the done thing. I live in London and unless there is something people have in common, such as a tube strike, or terrible weather, speaking to strangers is not the done thing. Speaking to a stranger in public needs to have a purpose. After making the mistake of speaking out of turn a couple of times I won't be doing that again! I always feel embarrassed and out of place because the shocked reaction of people is probably similar to your reaction as you read this post if you're a hello to strangers type of person.

When I visit my family in the States I'm always shocked at first with how many people speak to people they don't know. I find it both comforting and intrusive.

I live in England and chat to strangers a lot. I always end up chatting to the old grannies in the queue. My husband says i can chat about anything and nothing. What can I say. I like being friendly!

I do find London is different. People seem way more busy and don't seem to have the time to chat as much.

 

[TooPatient]

Constantly! I can't get out of an elevator, finishing checking out at the grocery store, or fill my tank at the gas pump without making a new friend!

Yep!

I have learned to read people a bit better though. I start with a smile an "hi" and only move into small talk if they seem interested.

I don't get many telemarketing calls any more... Used to chat all about life and stuff with them when they called.

The pest control people schedule us for the end of the day so the technician can spend an hour or more chatting with me about coffee roasting and wine

 

[Gem Queen]

I say hi to many, many strangers every day. It makes me feel good and brightens their day. I like to say hi to the least expecting people. You could see them brighten up right on the spot

 

[Rhea]

Oh gosh, never! I wouldn't, it's just not the done thing. I live in London and unless there is something people have in common, such as a tube strike, or terrible weather, speaking to strangers is not the done thing. Speaking to a stranger in public needs to have a purpose. After making the mistake of speaking out of turn a couple of times I won't be doing that again! I always feel embarrassed and out of place because the shocked reaction of people is probably similar to your reaction as you read this post if you're a hello to strangers type of person.

When I visit my family in the States I'm always shocked at first with how many people speak to people they don't know. I find it both comforting and intrusive.

I live in England and chat to strangers a lot. I always end up chatting to the old grannies in the queue. My husband says i can chat about anything and nothing. What can I say. I like being friendly!

I do find London is different. People seem way more busy and don't seem to have the time to chat as much.

It's great, isn't it! Holidaying in non-London areas of the UK is more my preferred speed. Not as overly talkative as my area of the US but not as distant as London. I live in London proper though, like 10 minutes walk to the crown jewels. We don't talk to people. Even with our neighbour who has lived next to us for over 18 months, we've chatted twice. Both times with a purpose, once to borrow a chair, the other to rally together to make a complaint to a noisy neighbour. In fact, of the 4 places I've in London this has been the most talkative!

 

[packrat]

I always joke about not liking people as a general rule, and about being antisocial, shy and socially awkward, but I always walk around smiling, I say hi, hello, good morning, 'morning, hey. Midwesterners lift a hand too, when we walk by people, not sure if others do that or if we're just weird.

You'll get more of a reaction out of me if you have a baby/kids...I'm more comfortable w/them than adults. Or if you have tattoos. I like to talk about tattoos.

 

[monarch64]

I am pretty good about acknowledging others' presence. I don't know if I'd describe it as going out of my way to speak to a stranger, but if I'm in the same general vicinity of someone I definitely say hi.

Packrat mentions "lifting a hand" or waving. Yup, that's definitely a Midwestern thing. Growing up, if you were driving down a country road (a less traveled one, let's say) you waved at anyone you passed, which might mean 2-3 cars in 20 minutes. LOL

I loved the anonymity of living in a city when I moved to Chicago, but it felt really lonely as well. Back home, I couldn't go in a gas station, grocery store, post office, etc. without running into someone I knew, and the counter person would ALWAYS start a conversation and ask how you were doing (and your mother and father, and any other relatives they knew, ha). In the city, I couldn't even get a "hello." It was strictly business, transaction completed, NEXT!

I moved back home to a bigger version of a small town a few years ago, and it's definitely still a small town vibe. People greet each other, whether they are strangers or not. When a new neighbor moves in, we bring them cookies or garden veggies and introduce ourselves. We hang out with our neighbors. We can't go to the grocery store (literally any of the 6-8 in town) without running into at least 2-3 people we know (this includes the Super WalMart as much as I hate to admit it). Sometimes I miss the anonymity, and sometimes I miss not being able to complete an outside task from start to finish because everybody and their brother wants to stop and chat, but I sure don't miss the loneliness I felt living in the city.

ETA: I don't mean to knock on Chicago in particular! DeeJay lives there, after all, and like she says, she's never met a stranger! (True story, don't let her "ax murderer" tee shirt fool you.)

 

[packrat]

Oh hey, I used to have a tank that said "serial killer"!

Midwestern sense of humor eh?

When JD and I went on our Stupid Honeymoon in 2002, part of it was a few days on a (turned out to be super teeny tiny) "cruise ship". There were a few sit down meals and you had assigned seating, so there were two other couples at our table. Back then I used to be more outgoing (have gotten more introverted as I've gained weight) and JD was the quiet, antisocial one. Those two couples ended up being really fun and cool to talk to. We hung out w/them on the boat, went out for drinks w/them-and still 11 years later wish we'd gotten their names etc b/c they seemed like people we'd be friends with.

That's one time an uncertain smile and wave turned out to be a great experience for me.

When I was little, we lived out in the country and we used to guess how people would wave. Sometimes the index finger lift off the top of the steering wheel, sometimes the thumb stays and the four fingers wave, or the whole hand, sometimes you'd get the super fast nose-up-nod. I don't notice it so much anymore which is kinda sad..tho we live in town so I'm not driving 10-30 miles to work and back every day anymore. When I was little I noticed some men, usually semi drivers, or other truckers, would do a V/Peace sign, and mom said that was a signal for police ahead, to make sure others slowed down and didn't get a ticket.

 

[Sky56]

I do it more with a small smile and my eyes lighting up. I'm quite shy but outgoing and talkative around the right people I feel comfortable with. I'm very security-conscious and generally have very sensitive antennae, so I only light up to strangers I feel a sense of safety or kindred-spiritness with.

It doesn't matter what the stranger looks like or how they are dressed or apparent economic status, it is all by the vibes. I've lived all over, from middle-of-nowhere country places to mid-town New York City. I try to be polite and gracious wherever I am. I am impressed with Southern and Western areas the most. (not big city)

 

[zoebartlett]

I live in the South. To anyone who has spent any time here, that should say enough. Everyone says hello to strangers on the street & you always wave at people in cars going by, whether you know them or not. It's a lovely warm custom.

When we visted Charleston, one morning we were walking in search of espresso, dressed in our comfortable tatty tourist duds. We stepped onto a curb as a very elegant man got out of his Jaguar -- he smiled & said, "Good morning." Now, that's the definition of a Southern gentleman -- and of the South.

I talk to everyone. Have heard the life stories of so many store clerks & home repair people! I'm always interested.

--- Laurie

P.S. I doubt the precedence of those problems in the "study." "Experts" love to prioritize things. My mother was worse than I am in friendliness -- she even got the backgrounds of telemarketers who called her! She died at 72 of cancer -- I would say that was more influential than loneliness in her early end.

That was one of the best things I loved about living in NC for the short time we did a few years ago. I'm from New England, and we're known to be more reserved. I think it's funny that people usually smile and nod or say hello and then immediately look down, as if not wanting to come across as overly friendly.

ETA: My other favorite place for talking to strangers is Ireland. We went there a number of years ago for a friend's wedding, and we still talk about how friendly everyone was. We went to a bar one night and chatted with a guy who ended up giving us his number and saying that if we ever needed a place to stay in Dublin, we should ring him. We truly believe he was sincere, and we appreciated how kind he was.

 

[msop04]

I live in the South, so.... every day!