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How much should a guy spend on an engagement ring?

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oceanbeach

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Hi,
How much should my boyfriend spend on the engagement ring? Should it be the 2 month salary? How much did you/your finance spend on a ring?

I was asking for the ring which costs him 1.25 month salary, but he wants to spend no more than 1month salary... :< I know $ amount is not everything, but I just wanted to know how much people are spending. Thanks!
 

froufrou

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i really think it shouldnt matter on salary but more on how much salary is left over after the necessary stuff has been taken care of like rent or house payments and food etc. definately if he has a lot of spending money for his toys he should be able to spend a lot of it on you on your ring, but there is never a reason to go into debt.
 

WirelessRoute

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I think the 3 month salary notion was started by Debeers...Scam I tell you

I think 1.25 to 1.5 is resonable
Is she loves you she will understand there is a budget
 

windowshopper

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i agree--there are many factors. Total income. Total expenses. Debt. Does he drive a BMW and spend a lot on other things but doenst wnat to spend a lot on a ring? Does he barely pay his bills each month?...................Many men think a ring is silly and hate spending $ on it.
 

WirelessRoute

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And to debate that comment some women think a ring is everything and want you spent to much. A lot of them just compare there ring to what others or friends get.
20.gif


Just depends on who you are and who you are marrying
Somepeople are humble and some are picky
Find out what your women is expecting is a good route
 

esp102

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>>Many men think a ring is silly and hate spending $ on it.

Well, it is a piece of carbon that has zero investment value who''s price is controled by DeBeers. I remember seeing a 20/20 show on DeBeers and the CEO said diamonds are not rare. They have stock piles in their safes and they just release a certain amount which controls the price. Makes you think are D color diamond really that rare? Maybe they have a ton of them packed away in their safe.

Anyway... I don''t think they are a U.S. Corporation because they would get charged with ''price fixing''. I think it''s a South African company. I must admit they do a great job marketing with "A diamonds is a girls best friend" with those commericals. Some cultures don''t even gives rings they give live stock.

Be happy your getting a diamond ring and not a live chicken, 2 goats and 5 pounds of rice.
 

froufrou

Shiny_Rock
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if you have the money you can offer to buy the setting with your own money if he will buy the diamond, that ups the budget a little bit. at least if you are picking it out together that would work. that way you can get what you want, since you''ll be wearing it the rest of your life. the debeers marketing strategy is bogus, i agree.
 

niceguymr

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Although I had no intetion of following any formula, the ring I bought ended up costing me about 2 months salary - NOT including commissions!
31.gif
 

froufrou

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eps: yeah, debeers could never be in the US, they''d get in trouble i am sure.

but look at it this way, regardless of how many diamonds they have in their vaults, as long as they are only releasing very few, to us consumers diamonds are rare and probably will be forever or at least as long as debeers sticks around, which is probably forever! :)

did you hear about that company Apollo that is manufacturing diamonds which are exactly in composition the same as real diamonds, i think they are coming out with jewerly grade versions by 2007.
 

diamondseeker2006

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Date: 5/18/2006 9:30:43 AM
Author: froufrou
if you have the money you can offer to buy the setting with your own money if he will buy the diamond, that ups the budget a little bit. at least if you are picking it out together that would work. that way you can get what you want, since you''ll be wearing it the rest of your life. the debeers marketing strategy is bogus, i agree.
I don''t have a bit of problem with the girl chipping in if it would help get her dream ring!

I don''t read bridal magazines so I never see any Debeers advertising, but I still like diamonds! I don''t need advertising to tempt me to want them! But on the other hand, I don''t think guys should feel guilty about what Debeers says.

Obviously they shouldn''t risk bankruptcy in buying a diamond. I think when we got engaged during our last year in college, my husband spent about 1.75 months salary (of the salary he got upon graduating). He borrowed the money from his Dad and paid it back over the next year.
 

togal

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Date: 5/18/2006 9:27:51 AM
Author: esp102
>>Many men think a ring is silly and hate spending $ on it.

Well, it is a piece of carbon that has zero investment value who's price is controled by DeBeers. I remember seeing a 20/20 show on DeBeers and the CEO said diamonds are not rare. They have stock piles in their safes and they just release a certain amount which controls the price. Makes you think are D color diamond really that rare? Maybe they have a ton of them packed away in their safe.

Anyway... I don't think they are a U.S. Corporation because they would get charged with 'price fixing'. I think it's a South African company. I must admit they do a great job marketing with 'A diamonds is a girls best friend' with those commericals. Some cultures don't even gives rings they give live stock.

Be happy your getting a diamond ring and not a live chicken, 2 goats and 5 pounds of rice.

You're so right.....and thanks for the laugh
face20.gif
.
 

windowshopper

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every one here has valid points but i repeat: its very complicated. your decision and what you buy can reflect your income, your social status, your desired social status, how you individually and collectively value such items, and overall values. An example: my sister''s husband is a nice person but a control freak and a perfectionist. (they dont have much money). He bought her a .5 carat ideal cut, D vvs stone. Its a delicate ring with sapphire pears. It couldnt be less like her.......she has fairly lage hands and it would have been much better set in a halo or something to enlarge the ring. Its a delicate princess-y ring and that is not my sister. She had no say at all. He viewed it has his money and his job............. She would ve been much happier with a G color vs 1.3 or whatever.....................point being it says a lot about both individuals
 

diamondseeker2006

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Date: 5/18/2006 9:42:51 AM
Author: windowshopper
every one here has valid points but i repeat: its very complicated. your decision and what you buy can reflect your income, your social status, your desired social status, how you individually and collectively value such items, and overall values. An example: my sister''s husband is a nice person but a control freak and a perfectionist. (they dont have much money). He bought her a .5 carat ideal cut, D vvs stone. Its a delicate ring with sapphire pears. It couldnt be less like her.......she has fairly lage hands and it would have been much better set in a halo or something to enlarge the ring. Its a delicate princess-y ring and that is not my sister. She had no say at all. He viewed it has his money and his job............. She would ve been much happier with a G color vs 1.3 or whatever.....................point being it says a lot about both individuals
WS, that''s exactly why I get worried when we see guys on here with that attitude. They are controlling and do not seem to care about pleasing the girl first and foremost. That is not a good sign for the marriage, IMO.
 

windowshopper

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Date: 5/18/2006 9:47:20 AM
Author: diamondseeker2006

Date: 5/18/2006 9:42:51 AM
Author: windowshopper
every one here has valid points but i repeat: its very complicated. your decision and what you buy can reflect your income, your social status, your desired social status, how you individually and collectively value such items, and overall values. An example: my sister''s husband is a nice person but a control freak and a perfectionist. (they dont have much money). He bought her a .5 carat ideal cut, D vvs stone. Its a delicate ring with sapphire pears. It couldnt be less like her.......she has fairly lage hands and it would have been much better set in a halo or something to enlarge the ring. Its a delicate princess-y ring and that is not my sister. She had no say at all. He viewed it has his money and his job............. She would ve been much happier with a G color vs 1.3 or whatever.....................point being it says a lot about both individuals
WS, that''s exactly why I get worried when we see guys on here with that attitude. They are controlling and do not seem to care about pleasing the girl first and foremost. That is not a good sign for the marriage, IMO.
yes i agree.............many men think the woman is all about the size and spending a lot of money..............and that may be the case sometimes but with my sister (for ex) she is a very low key person and it wasnt about the money. in fact she didnt really care to be honest until after the fact when she realized that she didnt really love it. I think finding a ring that you can afford (as a unit) and that means something to both of you is a great first thing to tackle as a soon to be married couple. In my case my husband is very much the "here is the budget, get what you want" kind of person. Which to some people may seem unromantic or uncarinng but he knows i am so picky that it works for both of us
 

kenny

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Comparing yourself to other people leads to unhappiness.

You two should make your own decision based on your finances and values.
This will be better for your marriage than looking outside your relationship for other people''s standards that you think you have to live up to.
 

klavigne

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Awesome reply Kenny! It doesn''t matter what other people are doing. Do what works for you two. For me and my girl, I didn''t want her involved more than knowing what shaped stone she wanted and what type of setting. After that she was out of the process. I really felt the need to do this on my own, if she had to much input it would have turned me off to the whole thing. I view it as a gift to her, which should be a complete surprise to her. That’s us, it''s how we operate, everyone else is different, some girls want all the control in the process, that just wouldn''t work for me. To me it was about tradition and it being a surprise. Which very rarely happens anymore.


I''ll answer the question now. I''m 32, make good money as an engineer, own my own house and have no debt, student loans, credit card etc.. Except my mortgage. I spent right around the two month deal. My two months is going to be different than everyone else though so keep that in mind. But I didn''t even realize that until afterwards. I just bought her something along the lines of what she had showed me in magazines. She could actually care less that it’s a VVS1 and a D color, she doesn''t even understand any of it really. But to me it was very important that I give her the best I could, whether or not people knew or could tell wasn''t what it was about. She loves her ring and proudly shows everyone, I''m proud I did my homework and talk to all the nice folks here on P.S.
Bottom line is it doesn''t matter how much is spent. It''s a symbol of his love not of his pockets. What ever he gives you, know that he did his best to make you happy. After all, isn''t that what it''s all about.
 

jasontb

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I spent about 1 month of before-tax salary...but I think Kenny's post is worth re-reading...
 

Blenheim

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The others have covered everything that I wanted to say about how much he *should* spend, so I'll just go ahead and answer your second question. My fiance just graduated from college and spent what will be about two weeks before-tax salary of the job he starts in June. I'm sure that the advertising people would think that he should have spent more, but really it's our decision. We want to save pretty agressively for buying a home, raising our future kids and putting them through school, retirement, etc. It just depends on your priorities.
 

diamondseeker2006

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Date: 5/18/2006 12:01:38 PM
Author: KPL

Awesome reply Kenny! It doesn''t matter what other people are doing. Do what works for you two. For me and my girl, I didn''t want her involved more than knowing what shaped stone she wanted and what type of setting. After that she was out of the process. I really felt the need to do this on my own, if she had to much input it would have turned me off to the whole thing. I view it as a gift to her, which should be a complete surprise to her. That’s us, it''s how we operate, everyone else is different, some girls want all the control in the process, that just wouldn''t work for me. To me it was about tradition and it being a surprise. Which very rarely happens anymore.



I''ll answer the question now. I''m 32, make good money as an engineer, own my own house and have no debt, student loans, credit card etc.. Except my mortgage. I spent right around the two month deal. My two months is going to be different than everyone else though so keep that in mind. But I didn''t even realize that until afterwards. I just bought her something along the lines of what she had showed me in magazines. She could actually care less that it’s a VVS1 and a D color, she doesn''t even understand any of it really. But to me it was very important that I give her the best I could, whether or not people knew or could tell wasn''t what it was about. She loves her ring and proudly shows everyone, I''m proud I did my homework and talk to all the nice folks here on P.S.
Bottom line is it doesn''t matter how much is spent. It''s a symbol of his love not of his pockets. What ever he gives you, know that he did his best to make you happy. After all, isn''t that what it''s all about.
Engineers, in general, seem to have the personality type be great reseachers and get into the numbers! That combined with wanting to please your fiance (and knowing her preferences) is a great combination!
36.gif
 

firebirdgold

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We''ll be spending less than 1/3 of a month''s pre-tax salary. ....
23.gif
Which I must admit I occasionally find a bit annoying. It''d be one thing if what we ended up choosing was that much, in fact there''s a ring that''s considerably less at aer.com right now that I find interesting. And it''s not like I have a set price the ring has to be worth or even a certain size. It''s just that I want something pretty and sparkly, and I get anxious when I think we might not be able to afford both. (no upgrades in my future, besides he may be making less if he goes into academia).

Look, as someone who finds thinking about this more than a little depressing, take a word of advice. Unless you really can''t find anything you like for whatever budget your bf has, don''t go comparing that budget to his salary.
 

klavigne

Shiny_Rock
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Feb 21, 2006
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Oh Indie,
You are so smart. Your guy is truly lucky!!!!!! Just remember it''s about the love you two share, not the money.
If you need help finding something great on your budget, your in the right place. The amount of bargain hunters around here, they could find anything!! I''m sure you already know, pretty and sparkly are prerequisites around here ;-)
 

froufrou

Shiny_Rock
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hey ocean...so what is your budget then??? the people on here can probably recommend something pretty sparkly
19.gif
 

dragongem

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You know in many other countries people do not get engagement rings? Just wedding bands. Still diamonds are pretty
41.gif
 

froufrou

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do you know in india they do not even get wedding bands?

i was thinking about setting up a girl in my class who is indian, thinking she was single, with one of my other friends only to find out she was married and they don''t wear wedding rings!! i guess they just get livestock too :)
 

glitterata

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I have Indian friends who wear gold bangles instead of wedding rings. Also one Indian-American friend who has a wedding necklace--it''s traditional where her husband comes from.

(Sorry for the hijack.)
 

Gypsy

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Date: 5/18/2006 11:07:00 AM
Author: kenny
Comparing yourself to other people leads to unhappiness.

You two should make your own decision based on your finances and values.
This will be better for your marriage than looking outside your relationship for other people''s standards that you think you have to live up to.

I have to agree with this COMPLETELY.

There really isn''t a formula.

Your fiance could be a lawyer making 120K a year. 10K for the ring. 15K. 20K.
Same lawyer with 80K in student loans.
And a sick mother.
Who wants to buy a house for the two of you as soon as possible.

Or he could be the same lawyer with no loans and a blue blood pedigree working in daddy''s firm doing nothing.
Who has two houses already.
With no debt.
Four cars and another he''s thinking about buying.

We can''t advise you. And really it is his gift to you. If it''s monetary value alone your looking at, well... that''s your priority. But WE can''t advise you to do that.

If the ring isn''t to your taste, but it''s all he feels he can afford. Well, there are many happy upgraders on here.
 

Gypsy

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My fiance's budget was... Christ... 3 and a half months of HIS salary at the time... but our budget was never about HIS finances... it was about ours. He was starting out a commission based business and working part time... I was working full time and making good money. But we had blended households and incomes years before... there was no YOU and ME. There was only us.
 

strmrdr

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te:[/b] 5/18/2006 8:57:55 AM
Author:oceanbeach
Hi,

How much should my boyfriend spend on the engagement ring?
[/quote]
$.25 from a gumball machine.
Then if ya say yes and wear it... upgrade
think about it....
 

Dancing Fire

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Date: 5/18/2006 8:57:55 AM
Author:oceanbeach
Hi,
How much should my boyfriend spend on the engagement ring? Should it be the 2 month salary? How much did you/your finance spend on a ring?
take him to the cleaners
31.gif
do you have anything in mind ?
 

jimbob9999

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I don''t think it''s about how much he *should* spend but more about how much you both want to spend to satisfy both of you.

In my case, I''ve gotten hints from my girlfriend and know what basic styles and sizes she''d like. Also, we''re buying a house right now so that kind of limits our funds.

I think the idea of X months of salary is bologna!! I''m personally spending about 2-3 weeks of pay which is probably equal to 1-2 months of pay of some of my friends and equal to 1 week of some other friend''s pay. I''m spending enough to get her a ring she''ll love and that fits into our lifestyle and where we''re at in life. The good thing about pricescope is that no matter what you''re budget is you can find something you''ll love. All just depends on priorities I guess. In my case I''m actually getting more diamond than I was expecting and even a custom setting!

And, hey, there''s always time to upgrade later.

-j
 
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