How many kids do you have?

[Laila619]

How many children do you have, if any? When you envisioned your life growing up, did you always see yourself having the number of kids you currently have?

 

[Dancing Fire]

two PITB daughters!!

 

[justginger]

I thought I wanted to be a young mother, imagined having my first by 24 or so. Now at nearly 29, I don't have one yet - somewhere along the way I think I started properly understanding the level of responsibility that came with a child. It will be another couple of years before we are at the point in life that we would like to start trying.

 

[Rhea]

None. Neither of us really want them. I'm in my early 30's now so I figure I have 5-10 years to change my mind. I'd love to have a large family around me and I'm envious of other people's large, close knit families. I married an only child who isn't close to his extended family and I moved to another country, away from my family, so if I want a large I'll need to create one. That's not near as appealing as someone else having them. I'm still working on convincing my sister to move closer and have some. If we breed we'll probably only do it once so unless we have a multiple birth I see no more than 1 child in our future.

 

[junebug17]

I have 2, a girl 23 and a boy 20. I never really saw myself having a large family, and after 2 kids my husband and I were comfortable with not having more. Two is plenty for us!

 

[jstarfireb]

None here. I have never had any desire for children and would happily remain child-free for life. I love having the freedom that being child-free affords...traveling without worrying about who's looking after the kids, developing my hobbies, and progressing in my career. Not to mention that kids are ridiculously expensive! However, the husband wants a family, so I may eventually compromise by having one child.

 

[Autumnovember]

I don't have any kids. When I envisioned my life growing up, I didn't picture myself having kids before the age of 27-28. Right now, I can't envision having children until I'm 30 and completely stable financially. There's tons of things that I envisioned differently growing up, so who knows? Anything can happen.

One thing that people really do LOVE to ask is, "so when are you having kids?!??!!"

I just tell them not for another 5 years since I still feel like a baby myself.


edited for spelling....I should prob learn grammar again.

 

[Deactivated member 42515]

I don't had any kids yet. Before I got married I had a plan. I wanted to get marred before I was 23 wait two years and have a kid by 25. I'm 27 now and still no kid... We went through a year, I think I was 25...where we tried and tried but we never got pregnant. We stopped trying and just decided to be whatever. Then this past year during the summer, we took a trip to Vegas and came back and I was pregnant... I hate talking about this and I haven't told anyone except SIL and of course DH knows but we lost the baby... I type this now because no one knows who I really am here and I don't want people I know to feel sorry for me. DH and I have since stopped trying. I still want a little baby boy of my own... But I'm scared now.

I would love twin baby boys

 

[justginger]

I don't had any kids yet. Before I got married I had a plan. I wanted to get marred before I was 23 wait two years and have a kid by 25. I'm 27 now and still no kid... We went through a year, I think I was 25...where we tried and tried but we never got pregnant. We stopped trying and just decided to be whatever. Then this past year during the summer, we took a trip to Vegas and came back and I was pregnant... I hate talking about this and I haven't told anyone except SIL and of course DH knows but we lost the baby... I type this now because no one knows who I really am here and I don't want people I know to feel sorry for me. DH and I have since stopped trying. I still want a little baby boy of my own... But I'm scared now.

I would love twin baby boys

I am very sorry to hear of your difficulties, YT. I don't think there's anything 'right' to say in a situation like this, so I just wanted to let you know that I feel for you. I hope your time comes and you get your beautiful boy.

 

[Deactivated member 42515]

I don't had any kids yet. Before I got married I had a plan. I wanted to get marred before I was 23 wait two years and have a kid by 25. I'm 27 now and still no kid... We went through a year, I think I was 25...where we tried and tried but we never got pregnant. We stopped trying and just decided to be whatever. Then this past year during the summer, we took a trip to Vegas and came back and I was pregnant... I hate talking about this and I haven't told anyone except SIL and of course DH knows but we lost the baby... I type this now because no one knows who I really am here and I don't want people I know to feel sorry for me. DH and I have since stopped trying. I still want a little baby boy of my own... But I'm scared now.

I would love twin baby boys

I am very sorry to hear of your difficulties, YT. I don't think there's anything 'right' to say in a situation like this, so I just wanted to let you know that I feel for you. I hope your time comes and you get your beautiful boy.

Thanks JustGinger. We are ok. It's been about 6 months. It's just been hard because I swear almost every one of my friends and a member of my family got pregnant right after the incident. And no one knows that it's eating me up inside. I try not to think about it. But it's hard when I see my friends and my cousins getting bigger and bigger.

 

[minousbijoux]

Oh YayTacori, I am so sorry for your loss. That is such a big loss and must be so hard not sharing it, particularly when others around you are getting pregnant now. I hope things work out just the way you want them in your future..

 

[Deactivated member 42515]

Oh YayTacori, I am so sorry for your loss. That is such a big loss and must be so hard not sharing it, particularly when others around you are getting pregnant now. I hope things work out just the way you want them in your future..

Thank you minousbijoux. There has been many times I've wanted to tell them but it seems harsh to say something now when everyone I know is pregnant... Why make them feel bad, you know?

And I'm sorry OP, if my story has put a downer on your thread.

 

[minousbijoux]

I'm sorry too, OP, for adding to the threadjack, but just one more thing: Yay, if you want to start a separate thread for support, there will be many of us who will be quite supportive and understanding, and who will encourage you to vent if it will help at all.

 

[Deactivated member 42515]

I'm sorry too, OP, for adding to the threadjack, but just one more thing: Yay, if you want to start a separate thread for support, there will be many of us who will be quite supportive and understanding, and who will encourage you to vent if it will help at all.

Aww, thank you so much. It means a lot to me. Even if I don't start a thread, thank you for your support and encouragement Minousbijoux. I don't know if I want to start a thread focusing on my pain but I will think about it. It might be therapeutic. Thank you so much.

 

[Monnyjay]

We have 2, one of each, both teenagers.

Yes, having children is a huge responsibility and they are expensive - (very expensive - don't go there!) It's all worth it though!

I wouldn't change a thing, I couldn't imagine my life without them.

 

[rosetta]

Same here. I love being able to just decide to go out for dinner or nip over to Paris for the weekend and we just do it. Not to mention that I would be able to afford way more bling/holidays/cars/handbags if we didn't have kids.

However, I may one day change my mind. My husband has romantic notions about what raising children is like, but I've opened his eyes to the reality that it's a hard, expensive slog with no guarantee that your kids will be wonderful human beings. If we have them, it will be a gamble and we have to accept whatever we get. My SIL is pregnant so I'm making sure we babysit a lot and he changes as many stinky diapers as possible. If he still wants kids, we will continue to negotiate!

YT: big big hugs ((((((((yaytacori))))))))

 

[chrono]

I noticed that usually it is the man that wants children while women do not. Rarely is it the other way around.

YT, so sorry about the miscarriage. You'll be surprised that it is more common than we think it happens because few talk about it.

 

[SB621]

We have a 1 year old and an almost 2 1/2 year old. They are just over 15 months apart. Life has been difficult but things are thankfully starting to get much easier. I told DH when we got married that I refused to be outnumbered (so no more then 2) and that I wanted to be done with children completely by 30.

 

[diamondringlover]

I have 2 boys ages 27 and 15..I always thought I wanted 2 kids, I just wished I had them a little closer together...it took me alot longer to get pregnant with my 2nd son...that is part of the reason for the age gap.

 

[lknvrb4]

I have three children. My son is 9 and my daughter is 7 and they are 20 months apart. My youngest just turned 4. We debated for 2 years if we would have another one and we decided no, I thank god we never did. Three kids is plenty!

 

[Polished]

We have three - daughter 22, son 21, - both down at a music festival in Melbourne at present and then son is off to Tasmania for a week or so with friends. Another daughter 17. The two daughters are very close friends. Great fun I love seeing their lives unfold. I think there is a timing with it, where you actually can fit in the other things you want to get out of life. We're on this planet for a rounded experience, whatever that might be!

 

[AP1976]

We have an almost 4 year old son. We always wanted 2 kids and tried hard to have another but it didn't work out. We conceived our son the first month trying with no problems so we assumed the 2nd would be just as easy. It wasn't. We ended up with the dreaded diagnosis of secondary infertility. I kept getting pregnant, but kept losing them. After 4 miscarriages, we make the decision to stop trying as it was taking an enormous toll on us. We are thrilled with our triangle family now, I really think it was meant to be. We love our son, but we also love to travel and do other things and having one child affords us some leeway to do other stuff!

YT - I am so sorry for your loss. While miscarriages are common (and I really found support when I opened up about it), my situation is uncommon. I know gads of women who have suffered loss but went on to conceive after. Process the fear and sadness, but don't let it swallow you. Hugs!!!

 

[Mayk]

One daughter 14 and a handful right now (pray for me to survive the teenage years). so one was my answer...
Two stepchildren that are great. A stepson 19 and stepdaughter 16.
And one Furbaby Cashmere the 4 year old 22 lb Bengal PITA!!!

Yay.. I lost two... I know your pain. I'm so sorry for your loss. My DD is a fertility baby... I think God knew this one would test me like no other... And felt one was enough....

 

[anne_h]

We have three. I come from a large family, and didn't want that for myself. So my plan was always two, but the last pregnancy ended up being twins. lol So we have a son who is 7 and twin girls who are almost 3. Our house can get loud sometimes. DH always wanted three so he's happy. We both work full time and feel three is as many as we can handle - so happily, we are DONE.

YT - Sorry to hear about your loss. Hang in there.

Anne

 

[Enerchi]

For someone who wanted NONE (and this was CLEARLY discussed pre marriage!), I have 3... ya... I may drink a little and may have fallen prey to some smooth talker... ... ... There was a miscarriage in between #2 and #3. Not a planned pregnancy and once we got over the shock and started to adjust, I lost it.

Oldest son is 24 now, #2 son is 22 and daughter is 19. We have gone thru some challenges with the boys, but no issues with our daughter, other than hormonal teenage girl drama (which I believe is pretty much the standard package deal!). No matter what the age tho, you always seem to worry - looking at #1 now, we are very concerned but can do nothing. I don't think parenting ever stops, it just shifts - your influence will wax and wane throughout their lives, but I'm hoping core values will always remain. My fingers are crossed that somehow, #1 can remember those values and get out of his current situation... we do pray for that.

YT - I'm sorry to hear your news. I do recommend talking to someone (family, VERY close friend, counsellor) it will help in the end. The two of you are probably both struggling in different ways. I wish only the best for you, my dear YT {{{{{HUGS}}}}}

 

[Aoife]

We have two daughters, 28 and 26. My DH always wanted 3 children--until we actually started having them, then he was fine with 2! I used to think that I'd just like 1, so I suppose 2 was kind of a compromise number.Both of us wanted girls rather than boys, so that was what we tried for, and what we ended up with.

Our older daughter recently had a baby, after suffering a miscarriage last year, and she's finding out that staying home with a baby is very, very hard work. I think I had told her that......

YayTacori, I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby. It's especially hard when it seems like everyone around you is pregnant.

ETA: Enerchi, you are so right that the parenting worries never stop. When my mother was dying, she was still worrying about two of my sisters, both of whom were in their 60's at the time.

 

[yennyfire]

We have two kids, an 8 yo son and a 6 yo daughter. For a while when DD was about 2, I really wanted a third, but after a lot of soul searching, I realized that we could do a lot more for two kids than we could do for three. It was definitely the right decision for us.

YT, I lost babies before each of my living children, so I've been where you are and I know how devastating it is, especially when others around you are pg (my sister had a 7 month old at the time). The first loss was one of the darkest times of my life. It does get easier with time, though you won't ever forget. Please talk to someone. It will help. Many hugs to you. I am so sorry for your loss.

 

[Amber St. Clare]

I don't had any kids yet. Before I got married I had a plan. I wanted to get marred before I was 23 wait two years and have a kid by 25. I'm 27 now and still no kid... We went through a year, I think I was 25...where we tried and tried but we never got pregnant. We stopped trying and just decided to be whatever. Then this past year during the summer, we took a trip to Vegas and came back and I was pregnant... I hate talking about this and I haven't told anyone except SIL and of course DH knows but we lost the baby... I type this now because no one knows who I really am here and I don't want people I know to feel sorry for me. DH and I have since stopped trying. I still want a little baby boy of my own... But I'm scared now.

I would love twin baby boys

I'm really sorry to hear this. I had a painful miscarriage and a lot of problems afterward, but several years later I met Mr. St Clare and we have a beautiful son, so please don't give up hope.

 

[LaraOnline]

Three kids, one *completely unexpected* miscarriage. Three's perfect. If you're having kids that is.
No kids is also perfect.
Not all of us should aspire to wiping bums and running school runs. *omg boring and wider-world-opportunity sapping*

YayTacori, I'm with you on this one! I lost a baby in tragic/dramatic circumstances at the beginning of December, after a whole series of tests and medical appointments.

It's all very

But the thing I find, is that if you are open about all this...it's extremely common! I feel I've had a fairly dramatic experience, and yet I know several women whose stories are actually much more than mine.....

That's the external circumstances. Internally, we primarily have our own experiences to deal with, don't we.

So be strong, and realise that Nature wants us to be strong.

And draw strength from a few key supportive people in your life, if you can.

 

[Rosebloom]

We have two darling boys, ages 3.5 and 9 months. We may decide to try for another but we would probably wait at least two years before we tried. It wasn't easy getting pregnant with either, and we had a miscarriage too (hugs YT, it was so hard!), so number three may not be in the cards. I'd love to adopt too so that is another option. Or we may decide our awesome family is good as is! I'm 35.

I worked very hard on my career before kids. I had fancy degrees, my dream job, loved my company and coworkers, got paid very well. But some things happened at work when I was pregnant with number 1 that meant I'd be working 80 hour weeks post baby for a while so I decided to quit and be a SAHM for a while. Turns out I absolutely love it. I have a great network of mom friends which is very important for me.

I'm not sure when I'll return to work and if I do I may do something completely new. A new adventure sounds like fun! Although I do still love my previous company (and do some very part time consulting for them sometimes which is nice - and my bling money!).