How many “carats” for the 40th School Reunion ?

[Bron357]

The 40th School Reunion is in 2 weeks. It was a girls school btw.
It’s been a bit “weird”. We’ve all been sort of “catching up with others” on line by posting up photos of our kids and pets and favourite garden plant etc. The tone with some got rather “boastful” which I didn’t like and then when a thread started with “post up your engagement ring”, I didn’t join in on that one.
OMG it sure wasn’t nice or kind, unlike here on Pricescope, one even went so far as to declare herself “Winner, ha ha, mines the biggest”.
So the bullies with their cattiness and bitchiness are still trying to make people feel “small”. I was bullied unmercifully back then by this “alpha” group because I was a shy type and into books and athletics, not makeup, boys, parties etc.
And then I cop a nasty comment from said self declared winner with her 3 carat diamond....
“ Hey Mess it up, (the awful name they used to tease me with) did you even get an engagement ring?”

So is wearing 50 carats of diamonds to the event too much or not enough?

 

[Bron357]

And I’ll just add, here I am, 57 years old now and this awful cow made me cry again just like she did 40 years ago.

 

[redwood66]

Did she really say that now in 2018? Seriously? Mean girls are sometimes always mean girls. Try to have fun anyway.

Oh and 50 cts is just right.

 

[OreoRosies86]

I'd wear it all and a tiara for good measure.

 

[Bron357]

Did she really say that now in 2018? Seriously? Mean girls are sometimes always mean girls. Try to have fun anyway.

Oh and 50 cts is just right.

I know, unbelievable isn’t it.
There’s this “alpha group” and they are still “lording over everyone” - they decided the date, the venue, they decided the food, the drink AND the seating arrangements. So yeah, I’m on like table 23 near the toilets!

 

[peacechick]

Do you really have to go? I don’t go to any school reunions. I wasn’t bullied in school but I didn’t run with the cool kids, so when people message me about gatherings, I have zero interest in them.

But oh yeah, all the diamonds. Drip diamonds.

Also, why not send back a photo of your e-ring? And maybe a few more on that finger for good measure?

 

[Ally T]

@Bron357 What a complete b!tch. I would wear ever single carat I owned & bypass her with a dismissive wave if she tries to talk to me. Obviously with the hand that's wearing the biggest diamond. And be happy & bubbly when catching up with others. Show her how great your life turned out, as I bet she hasn't fared so well if she feels a need to gloat.

I cannot believe some people are that cruel & now, at the age of 57 & in a society which doesn't turn a blind eye to bullies anymore, would think it was ok to come out with something like that??!!! I would be tempted not to go, but that way she wins, and I'm all about not letting the bullies win & rising above them. You're stronger than you think.

One thing I've learned about bullies over the years, is that they don't like to be undermined or bullied back. I had a horrible boss many years ago who brought a member of staff to tears daily. Literally. She was renowned for it & was terrifying. My 24 year old self, quaking in my shoes, stood up to her, bypassed her with my resignation & went over her head, along with a lot of email evidence I had printed off to show her behaviour. I sat at my desk when she was called into the Directors office & cried with fear, but I had resigned & had nothing to lose. I expected her to come back in & rip my hair out. Instead, she came in with a tear stained face (she was 56 btw) walked passed me, went to her office & quietly emptied her desk. She tried to sue the company for inappropriate dismissal but when she heard I had agreed to stand witness on their behalf, she backed down & was never heard from again. I am still friends with her daughter (awkward!) who tells me she was devastated some kid stood up to her & lost her a great job. Apparently she has become a very mellow, very kind Grandma over the intervening years, and her daughter says I did them a huge favour. And I got promoted to her role, a big fat pay rise & went onto greater things as a result. Standing up to that cow was one of the finer moments in my life.

 

[Alexiszoe]

Oh Bron, I am so sorry to hear it. Women who are bullies, who need to compare and put others down to prop them up are simply shallow and incredibly insecure. The irony is that they fail to see that through bragging / meanness, it only goes to show just HOW MUCH they need the attention and approval of others - and yet it is entirely shallow and outward centered. I know, I grew up with a few women like that!

I say go for the reunion. Wear your fab jewelry or whatever you want. When you see this bitch, just call her out on the truth. "I see after all these years, you still need to be validated by bragging about your materialistic goods and social status while stepping on others to feel good about yourself. I am so sorry for you."

Bullies and nasty people are rubbed raw when they hear the truth about themselves, because deep down inside, they know just how sad it is. And then waltz away with your beautiful EC flashing on your hand!

 

[Bron357]

I’m actually going to “support” my old BFF and help out with another dear friend who has MS. There are a few who are coming back from overseas and interstate for the event. I was just hoping to keep a low profile but no such luck.
I was just gobsmacked that even after 40 years this woman still sees me as a target of her “jokes”. She even used my old “nasty” nickname!
After a few people (thankfully) lambasted her down over her comment to me, she was all “ ??, geez Louise, I was just joking around!

 

[Alexiszoe]

I was just gobsmacked that even after 40 years this woman still sees me as a target of her “jokes”. She even used my old “nasty” nickname!
After a few people (thankfully) lambasted her down over her comment to me, she was all “ ??, geez Louise, I was just joking around!

Yet another classic strategy of bullies - gaslighting. "oh you are too sensitive / I was just joking / you are not gonna take it seriously are you?" etc. Reading about her behavior makes my blood boil for you, Bron. As @Alex T mentioned, standing up to them is something they dislike, and they back down when they sense you won't take it lying down. Fundamentally they are just cowards.

 

[missy]

I wouldn't go. No need to feel like you did in school with these not nice women. Why put yourself through unpleasantness? These days I know I deserve to make life as good as possible and do not feel the need to prove myself to anyone. Nor to one upsmanship (is that a word lol) anyone. Not saying this is what you want to do at all but just adding my rational for not going if I was feeling like this about these people. If you think you will have fun and see people you really want to see it is a different story but otherwise I would plan something more fun that day/evening with my dh and forget about these small minded petty gossiping people. My .02

Whatever you do wear what you want and enjoy it without worrying about what others think. Remember, it's none of our business what other people think about us. That's on them. (((Hugs))).

 

[missy]

I’m actually going to “support” my old BFF and help out with another dear friend who has MS. There are a few who are coming back from overseas and interstate for the event. I was just hoping to keep a low profile but no such luck.
I was just gobsmacked that even after 40 years this woman still sees me as a target of her “jokes”. She even used my old “nasty” nickname!
After a few people (thankfully) lambasted her down over her comment to me, she was all “ ??, geez Louise, I was just joking around!

This is why I need to read the other replies and further explanation before I post headstrong with my thoughts. Sheesh, sorry for posting with my first reaction. OK you are going to support a dear friend and your (old aka prior) BFF. My advice is wear what you want and wear it joyfully and without apology and enjoy yourself! And know you are there for a worthy cause and do not pay attention to any unpleasant individuals. I wouldn't call anyone out because remember this is on them not you and why waste your time and energy on people who do not matter. It will fall on deaf ears most likely. Rise above and get out of your head and just be there for the people you care about. Good luck and hoping it goes well.

 

[tkyasx78]

Oh Bron. I am so sorry. Some people are just horrible humans. I will never understand how some people sleep at night. That was a terrible thing to say from a terrible person.

I would say to post your engagement ring picture if you want to. Sadly they will not be decent humans no matter how many carats you wear. Some people see only themself and are jealous /rude to anyone else. So you wear what makes you happy! Try to ignore them as much as possible if you must go.

Any chance you and bff can skip the reunion and spend the weekend on a get out of town trip?

I am sending a virtual (((hug))).

 

[OoohShiny]

I’m actually going to “support” my old BFF and help out with another dear friend who has MS. There are a few who are coming back from overseas and interstate for the event. I was just hoping to keep a low profile but no such luck.
I was just gobsmacked that even after 40 years this woman still sees me as a target of her “jokes”. She even used my old “nasty” nickname!
After a few people (thankfully) lambasted her down over her comment to me, she was all “ ??, geez Louise, I was just joking around!

It's only joking around if everyone is happy with it - if not, and one person is the unwilling butt of the 'jokes', it's bullying.

I don't think there's usually any way to 'win' against these people (rare and impressive exceptions in posts above noted!) - if you rock up dripping in diamonds, they'll probably dismiss it as CZ or make some snide comment about how it was paid for ...

... So should you wear it all to try to 'out-do' those who are materialistic? Or should you just keep it low-key and dress to satisfy you alone?

The latter is surely the morally better way to deal with such people - to show that their shallow materialistic tendencies mean nothing to you because you have the intangible riches that life brings, like the love of your family, a safe place to sleep, the ability to 'know yourself' and make ongoing improvements to yourself through education and the knowledge gained through life's experiences.

But, on the other hand, sometimes it's good to make a point in a language the other party speaks and understands...

So... I'm not sure what I'd do. Probably not go (but then I don't do social things very often) but it could be interesting to see if any of the nice people on the guest list (whom you are still in touch with or haven't seen in ages) would be interested in sacking the event off and going for a lovely meal instead

Either that or you could confront the issue head-on by standing up and making an unannounced speech on the night, stating bluntly exactly how her (and others') shallow and bullying behaviour at school made you (and likely others in a similar position) feel then, how such bullying can affect people throughout their life, and how it's a shame that such behaviour seems to have persisted 'in some people' long after they stopped being children, which is really quite sad at the age of almost 60.

Mind you, you could just 'accidently' drop a whole glass of red wine down said bully's outfit and headbutt her in the face on the way down to pick up the glass from the floor...

 

[dk168]

Why sink to their level or even attend the reunion?

I was never bullied as peeps at school knew I would not stand for it, not after I fought good and proper in a pillow fight the first night I shared a room with 2 other girls in a dorm at 14.

I don't do school or uni reunions as my life has moved on.

I bump into classmates from a course I attended 20 or so years ago from time to time at work related events, that's about it.

DK

 

[foxinsox]

So is wearing 50 carats of diamonds to the event too much or not enough?

I feel like 50 carats is about right.
She sounds like a prize bitch and a pathetic person. I kinda hope you posted up your beautiful EC and just laughed at her 3 carat (probably Michael Hill?) ring? Except you’re classier than that so I expect you were just horrified at her petty bitchiness. I’m sorry she made you cry. I hope you can tell her what a sad old woman she must be to behave like that

 

[Ellen]

Plain and simple, imo, bullies don't like themselves. So they put you down to build themselves up.

I would drip diamonds, and kindness. You will come off as the class act. Just think about how Melanie received Scarlett at the party after Scarlett was seen with Ashley. Class, with a capitol C.

I really hope you have a wonderful time. And look at it this way. If you're sitting by the bathrooms, you'll see lots of people!

 

[Matthews1127]

Go. Have fun with whom you intend to spend your time. Enjoy catching up with those who matter.
If said wench approaches, move that gorgeous EC to your middle finger & politely “show” it to her, with a smile. If she opens her mouth to say something, excuse yourself & walk away. She’ll find some snarky, classless remark to fire back at you about it because that’s who she is. Classless. People like her are a dime a dozen; pathetic & insecure. Rise above, ignore her, and have fun with your friends. After all this time, she should have grown up & matured. She has some serious issues.
If she’s relentless & won’t back away, after you have made every attempt to avoid contact with her, fire at her with everything you have; humiliate her. Tell her all about herself & what a small, pathetic & vile person she has always been & will always be. Then leave her standing there like a fool. Unfortunately, most of these vermin only understand that language & behavior.
As others have mentioned above, bullies only seem to respond to harsh reaction; they can’t handle the truth. They need to be fought & torn down before the torturous behavior will end. If you put her in her rightful place, she’ll stop. She finds something about you appealing to the point that it makes her envious, which is why she’s so focused on you. Bullies pick on those they envy or covet in some way. They feel so poorly about themselves that they prey on someone who has something they lack, or wish they had. They also target & torture those they know are either vulnerable, or those who give them the reaction they are seeking. I doubt after 40 years you’re a timid, frightened little girl. No doubt you have a backbone, and have some clever comeback just waiting to fly out. Don’t let her push your buttons. Give her hell by turning a mirror on her, so she can get a real close look at who & what she really is.
Enjoy your time at the reunion & wear what makes you happy.
Prayers are up for you!!
Don’t feed the dragon.
Don’t back down.

 

[doberman]

Good grief. Is this a dick measuring contest for girls who never grew up?

Skip the reunion. Do something fun.

 

[Ellen]

p.s. I would NOT post any pics of your ring or anything else. Let it be a delicious surprise.

 

[eapj]

Oh, I am so sorry to read this. What a witch. And you show again what a great soul you are by attending to support your friends. Ignore the witch and drip in diamonds.

 

[Snowdrop13]

If you do decide to go (and you really don’t have to, although there are bound to be some people you would like to see again), personally I’d just opt out of any competition. Wear a simple band and tiny earrings, all the while chuckling internally at the silliness of those who think big diamonds=success in life!

 

[House Cat]

That small bitch said that to you?

Here’s the thing with bully bitches...if you play their game, they’re always one step ahead. This means they’re always winning. The trick is to never play their game in the first place. In my mind, that means you only wear the amount of diamonds you want to wear. You don’t wear your diamonds for her. Because if for some reason that stupid little bitch makes any comment about you at all, you want to be confident in knowing that you dressed for yourself that night.

She made you cry because she touched on childhood wounds. You’re grown now and you can take care of yourself..you really can. You can take care of the girl that was hurt by this person too. What is obvious here is that this bully person hasn’t grown at all. What a serious piece of shit.

I always like to think bullies have experiences that create growth and change them. Wow.

I hope you have fun at this event in spite of this person.

 

[Austina]

I would like to think I’d take the moral high ground, but in truth I’d go, dripping in diamonds, and then pretend I didn’t recognise the bitch.

 

[MaisOuiMadame]

And I’ll just add, here I am, 57 years old now and this awful cow *made me cry* again just like she did 40 years ago.

@Bron357, your posts are always among my favorites, because your intelligence, humour, incredible generosity and warmth shine through. Your tears made seriously furious on the other side of the world. What a horrible person. And yes, she's punished enough by obviously not having learned a single thing that matters in FOURTY YEARS.....however you need to feel absolutely confident at the reunion. Do you think you can pull off 50carats and feel great about it? If yes (I sure could and think you could as well ), absolutely go for it.

As for the event itself, it's about trying to zoom out the others and not letting their negativity affect you.
I sure think that in their late fifties everyone is responsible for their own actions and doesn't have any excuse to be a bully, but but if it helps you on evening the of the reunion, just think how small she must feel and how needy she is to behave this way.
*hugs*

 

[facetgirl]

p.s. I would NOT post any pics of your ring or anything else. Let it be a delicious surprise.

I agree with Ellen. I would also find a simple black dress (classic), get a great pair of shoes, and wear 3 classic pieces of jewelry (I love your engagement ring and your art deco bracelet). Wear pieces that are meaningful, that will give you strength and are blindingly beautiful. Classy and strong. And when you are there, focus on the people, conversations and relationships that matter- shut the door on the toxic and immature mindset.

 

[soxfan]

Wear the biggest ring you have



Punch her in the forehead with it so it leaves an impression




Just kidding. I'd post this in response:

 

[House Cat]

Wear the biggest ring you have



Punch her in the forehead with it so it leaves an impression




Just kidding. I'd post this in response:

 

[MaisOuiMadame]

p.s. I would NOT post any pics of your ring or anything else. Let it be a delicious surprise.

+1!!

 

[diamondringlover]

yeah bling the hell out of that reunion! and like everyone else said dont post the picture of your e-ring.